Chapter 30: Forking Hell

Foreign mana.

Mana regeneration reduced by (100-Wisdom)%

Unaffected if Wisdom is equal to or greater than 100.

Malevolent mana.

Effects of light, holy and good related magic reduced by 50%, costs increased by 50%.

Effects of darkness, corrupt and evil related magic increased by 50%, costs reduced by 50%.

Things just keep getting worse. I’m getting a sneaking suspicion that this maybe isn’t a pleasant place.

While I don’t think the second will affect me, not having any proper magic, the first reduces my mana regeneration by almost half to 5.4/minute.

After dismissing the notification, I take a look around, dropping quickly into a corner of the room. It doesn’t appear that anyone has noticed my passage through the portal, so I take stock of where I am now.

From the messages, I can tell that I’m not just in another place – I’m in another world. Again. At least I didn’t die again, although given the circumstances that possibility still exists. I was in a lavish palace a moment ago, but this is clearly a fortress. The walls have a different mana density to walls I’ve seen in the past, so they probably aren’t made of normal stone, although that doesn’t mean much to me.

Almost a dozen portals stand in the middle of the room I’m in. That’s… Not a good sign.

The people within it are demons, although there are also small, ugly beings with wings that are acting similarly to slaves to the demons, grovelling and doing the dirty work of the demons. I see one of the demons call them ‘imps’.

As for the particular demon who had preceded me through the portal, he is hurrying through hallways, demons bowing their heads as he passes. But their subservient appearances vanish like smoke after he passes, a few even scowling at him behind his back.

Upon taking another look around, I see that the behaviour isn’t specific to him: none of the demons appear to like or respect their superiors… Or anyone else, in fact. Beyond a thin veneer of courtesy, all the demons seem to abhor each other.

Strange. I didn’t think a group of people that hate each other could co-exist.

…Unless they’re forced to? Food for thought.

‘My lord, something unexpected has occurred. The pawn has been killed by paladins.’ The demon bows and scrapes.

‘Paladins?’ The second demon spits in disgust. His clothes look like they’ve been nicked from the late prince’s wardrobe. Probably were, too; almost all the demons here are wearing clothing identical to what I’ve seen in cities around the Empire. ‘Disconnect the portal to the palace. Begin the invasion immediately through the others.’

The first demon looks startled. ‘But we aren-”

Glaring, the demon in fancy clothes punches the other demon in the face, sending him sprawling to the ground. ‘I only kept you here because your magic allowed the possibility of crossing to Odwia. But the portals are constructed now. Give me one reason I shouldn’t just kill you.’ He sneers.

‘Because,’ gasps the demon mage from the floor, ‘when I created the portals, I bound them to my life force. Kill me, and they will immediately lose all function.’

The richly dressed demon snorts. ‘A compelling reason.’ He turns, waving his arm to dismiss the demon mage. ‘Disobey me again, and I will kill you regardless.’

The demon mage gets up. ‘I will need some sacrifices.’

‘The prison is as full as ever.’

I think this is my cue to do something. But since it’s a fair distance between there and here, I think I’ll quickly pop back over.

As I start using telekinesis to levitate, I find that it feels more strenuous than normal – is the gravity larger, here?

Discarding the thought for now, I move through the portal and the scenery shifts back to that of the palace basement. Everyone’s still alive – good. I start a telepathic link with Ferdinand. “Hey. I’m still alive. Unfortunately, there’s going to be a demon invasion unless I shut down the portals from the other side, so this is goodbye as far as I can tell.”

He responds as soon as I stop talking. “Isn’t there any other-”

“Nope.” I interrupt him, speaking with forced bravado. “I’m pretty sure the portal leads to another world, so I doubt I’ll be able to get back. But who knows, it’s me we’re talking about after all. Maybe, someday. Anyway, I’m a bit tight on time here, they’re about to cut this portal off to stop the paladins from interfering. On the plus side, I shouldn’t have much trouble getting out of there. So, goodbye Ferdinand. It’s been fun.”

“Goodbye Gerald. Than-” He begins, but I cut him off again.

“Hey, no sappiness. See ya!” I cut off the link and pop back through the portal.

He’s almost to the portal room, so I don’t have much time to act. Thankfully, combining absorb and telekinesis means that destroying inanimate objects is child’s play for me. Slicing through the bases of the portal archways one by one quick as blinking, they fall to the floor and break into several pieces, the vortexes of mana within them dispersing and slowly returning to normality.

With that, the demons are cut off from invading – and I’m cut off from going back.

Just as I escape through the walls and into an adjacent room the demon mage sprints into the portal room, no doubt disturbed by the sounds the portals made as I destroyed them. He immediately calls for the guards and orders everyone to be on high alert for an intruder.

Fat lot of good that’ll do them.

Nobody suspects the fork.

Nobody.

Ever.

And if they do, they should see a psychiatrist.

Quickly returning to the richly dressed demon’s room, the demon mage grovels pitifully. ‘My lord… the portals have been… destroyed. There is an intruder in the fortress.’

The goblet in the richly dressed demon’s hand deforms and crumples as he clenches his fist.

Seeing it, the demon mage gulps. ‘We will find them immediately, my lord. And I can rebuild the portals. I just need… time.’

‘How long?’

‘Perhaps two weeks, perhaps less…’ Drops of sweat roll down the demon mage’s forehead.

‘You have three days.’

‘Bu- Yes, my lord.’ The demon halts his protest as quickly as he starts it, no doubt remembering his earlier conversation.

So he can rebuild it…

We can’t have that, now can we?

After collecting things from several places around the fortress, the demon mage returns to the portal room and starts tinkering away.

The guards continue to move around the fortress, checking every nook and cranny, including the room I’m in. Nobody even glances at me, although they do find the hole I made in the wall to get here. After the guards leave the room I tunnel back into the wall through the same hole and move up the wall until I reach the roof. Then I tunnel along the roof until I’m above the demon mage.

For some reason, he’s smiling to himself as he works. I don’t think that’ll last long.

Dropping down directly onto him, I absorb my way through his neck.

Flesh of Lvl 37 Demon absorbed

Experience gained: 213

Durability recovered: 2.35 (Exceeds maximum durability, reducing to 0)

Skill proficiency increased: Absorb 0.01%

Skills gained: None

Traits gained: Curse resistance (Minor)

lvl 37 Demon killed

Experience gained: 6310

Level up! You are now level 33

5.5 stat points gained

Hey, another le-

A dark mana rises from the corpse and rushes towards me. I try to absorb it, but as I do, I can feel my durability decreasing, so I stop and try to escape through the walls.

But wherever I go, it follows without stopping or slowing, no matter how many twists and turns I make.

So, I leave the castle and head out in a random direction. Maybe if I go far enough from the origin of this magic – the demon’s corpse – it will fade away.

My slim, sleek body line allows me to pass through the air with little resistance, letting me to maintain a greater speed than the evil mana behind me while keeping Psi expenditure below my regeneration rate – although only just.

Actually, I still haven’t used the stat points from that level up. 5.5, huh? I don’t like the 30’s. They don’t let you distribute stat points evenly into two stats without going to two decimal places. And I ain’t going there. One DP is far enough for me!

2.5 to Int, 2.5 to Wis, 0.5 to Dex.

It may be tracking me, but it isn’t very fast. I can literally do this all day – all week, if I have to. It should run out of mana eventually. Or perhaps it has a limited range?

One eye on the spell following, I have a look at the landscape, getting an idea of what sort of world this is.

The ground is cracked and barren, not a blade of grass or any other plant softening its surface as far as the eye can see. The only liquid around is something slow-flowing and thick I don’t recognise, but if I were to venture a guess based on what I’ve seen so far, I’d say it’s lava. Thank god that I can’t feel heat… or should I thank the gods?

Meh, I don’t know enough about them to care.

Up ahead I see trees jutting out of the ground like skeletal hands, without even a single leaf on their branches. What’s this place called, the forest of death? Nope, not going there.

I take a right turn at the forest, and soon enough run into a broken tower, shambling forms roaming mindlessly up and down its broken staircases. I give it a wide berth.

Hey, this place looks nice. A clean building lies ahead, bearing a symbol that makes me think it’s some kind of shrine. Inside are a group of people – they look human, too, though after fighting a doppelganger that doesn’t mean much to me – praying to some god or other.

‘Now, let us drink of the blood of the heretics.’ One says solemnly.

Goodbye.

Behind me, the spell putters out and dissipates. Took it long enough.

Whew…

What do we do now?

…Oh, right, he’s on another planet. That makes communication somewhat difficult.

Well, first of all I should probably double-check that they aren’t able to reconstruct those portals.

Turning around, I head back the way I came, although in much less of a hurry this time. The demon mage said weeks, the angry demon said days, I think I can spare a few minutes. As I levitate across the desolate landscape, I come across a large dog.

I look at the dog.

The dog looks at me.

The dog opens its mouth, and I take 0.2 damage to my durability.

I absorb the dog’s face. It dies, and I absorb the rest of it.

Lvl 18 Hellhound absorbed

Experience gained: 1035

Durability recovered: 13.8 (Exceeds maximum durability, reducing to 1.1)

Skill proficiency increased: Absorb 0.01%

Skills gained:

Traits gained: Heat resistance (Minor)

Lvl 18 Hellhound killed

Experience gained: 1035

Holy moley, I’ve almost levelled up again. Without 95% of my exp going to Ferdinand and absorb effectively letting me double my experience gains, it’s shooting upwards.

Sadly, I don’t come across any other monsters I can kill for that last iddy bitty bit of exp I need to level up… Well, almost 3000 exp, but y’know.

…It feels strange. Not too long ago, I was stuck on the floor of a cave, hoping desperately that something with a useful skill or trait would walk my way. Levelling up wasn’t my primary concern, but even then, the hundreds of exp I needed felt like they would take ages to accumulate.

But look at me now. I can move on my own, see just over a literal mile in every direction and hold my own in combat, albeit in an unconventional way. Among other things.

I’ve really come a long way, haven’t I? Metaphorically and literally speaking. A year ago, just an ordinary university student living on my lonesome, on Earth. A few months ago, a helpless fork living on my lonesome in a cave, on Odwia. Now, an awesome fork… living on my lonesome, in – literally - Hell.

…If I say it like that, I haven’t come very far at all, have I? And I still have so far to go… Let me just check my list of priorities.

Find a way to regain human form and/or human senses while in fork form. (High priority)

Well, I’ve technically made progress. I have the skill that can do all of that. Shame I can’t use it, and probably won’t be able to for a long, long time.

Find out how I died. (Low priority)

I still haven’t found anything about that. A bit hard, when I’m not even on the same planet.

Find and obtain skills or traits that could allow me to write. Write Ferdinand a book about death flags and the like. Possible name: (at least) 101 things you should definitely never ever say and when you should especially not say them. (Maximum priority)

Hey, I remember this one. Well, I think I’ll downgrade it to medium priority. Even if I manage to get a skill that would allow me to write, it’s not like I can lug a book around until I next see him.

Jelly beans. (High priority)

…What? When did this get on there? Let’s see, let’s see… When I was six? Seriously?

I remember now... I was at this kid’s party, and I went over to get some sweets, but all the jelly beans were already gone. I remember bugging my mum to get me some for weeks afterwards, but she never relented. Probably for the best, they’re filled with sugar. Anyway, let’s wipe this off… Although, I would like some jelly beans… Let’s just change it to lowest priority.

Obtain skills and traits that will allow me to better defend myself. (Maximum priority)

It’s going fairly well on this front. I wouldn’t say it’s such an urgent thing anymore, but I would still like some more diversity and flexibility in my abilities.

Let’s see, I think I need a healing skill or spell, something that lets me cure poison for others… Others may be able to carry some sort of antidote or cure potion, but that’s not really an option for me. A couple of buffs might be nice. A way to carry other people when flying. Some sort of skill or spell I can control in flight and use to attack from a super long distance… Paired with mana sight, that would be deadly. I have stealth mostly covered, as well as scouting, and traps aren’t really a problem. Maybe some crowd control abilities? Even a simple ‘slow’ would be incredibly useful in all sorts of situations.

Obtain traits that multiply my Intelligence and Wisdom. (High Priority)

Man, would these be useful. If I had a times two multiplier on even one of them, that would send my mana sight range from 1.69km to over 3km. If I managed to get a times 10, that’d be 16.97km. If I got both times 10, that’d be one hundred and sixty fricken nine kilometres. RADIUS. That would let me see, like, almost half of Tasmania if I stood in the middle of it. I just calculated the volume of a sphere that large. It’s over 20 million kilometres cubed.

Imagine having the visual acuity necessary to snipe someone from a few cities over.

…Of course, the changing wind patterns along the way, various obstacles and bullet drop would make that literally impossible, but that’s beside the point.

Learn magic. (Medium priority)

Mm. I’d love to. Problem is, I have no clue how. I’m sure some of these demons know magic, but even if one was willing to teach me, I don’t think I’d be willing to learn the type of magic they’d be teaching.

…And that’s the end of the list. Oh, I should probably add:

Find a way to get back to Odwia. Similar method could probably be used to return to Earth.

But do I really want to return to Earth? Odwia at least is a must; it’s way better than this place. But Earth? I didn’t really have many friends. The small network I had at school kind of drifted to near non-existence after it finished, with both me and them not terribly interested in putting in the effort to keep it going.

And my family… Well, they must think I’m dead. If I go back, only to leave for Odwia again, that would only bring more pain and worry to them than I already have. It’d be like stabbing someone with a knife, leaving it in for a while then taking it out and applying a bandage, only to slam it back in again a bit later.

I suppose I could stay there. Without any… bodily functions, I wouldn’t need money, and it’s not like the law takes into account living forks; I’m pretty sure that even if people knew about me, according to the system I wouldn’t exist. So no need to worry about things like voting, either. I could live out my life in peace and quiet, like I’ve always wanted.

…Except. Except I couldn’t. I couldn’t just sit there doing nothing for years on end; I’d go mad. Again.

I could take up a hobby. But my form restricts me severely.

And even then… Well…

Come on Gerald, admit it already. You’ve known this for far too long to be avoiding it still; especially now, when there’s very little to do.

…I’m immortal, aren’t I?

I’m made of metal, mithril even. I doubt mithril rusts or corrodes, but even if it does, I could just absorb the damaged bits of myself and self-repair them back. I don’t have any organs or anything that can degrade over time.

So, I’m immortal.

…I remember when I was much younger, I heard about an ancient Chinese emperor or someone similar that ate mercury pills, hoping they would grant him immortality. Instead, they killed him. We laughed at that. I don’t know about the others, but I wasn’t just laughing at the irony of ingesting a poison and thinking it will grant you longer life.

I was laughing because I couldn’t imagine why anyone would even want immortality. I never saw the allure of it. Oh, I’ve heard all the stories of people searching for the recipe to the mythical philosopher’s stone or turning to darker means in attempts to indefinitely prolong their lives, but it just never made sense to me. What do you do with infinity?

‘If you had all the time in the world, what would you do?’

I’ve heard the question before. My answer would always be the same. I’d see my dreams realised. I’d learn more about what few things interest me, perhaps teach a few others the same. But that would only last me two centuries, max. I can’t imagine what I’d do with a millennia, let alone a million years.

Why would anyone want the misery of being unable to make substantial emotional connections to others, because you know that if you do, you’ll have to watch them die? You’d have to watch everyone you know and love die. Again. And again. And again.

If I were able to gain any superpower or supernatural ability, immortality would be one of my absolute last picks, right down there with the ability to destroy the planet I’m standing on by blinking and the ability to kill anything I look at.

Heck, I’d probably choose them over immortality. I’d just cut off my eyelids. Can’t blink if you have no eyelids. Or blind myself, can’t look at anything if you’re blind. Then I’d just have a short miserable life, rather than a long miserable life.

And yet here I am. The powers that be chose… Me.

I’ll have to watch Ferdinand die. And Marco. I liked Marco.

Unless… I can find a way to make Ferdinand immortal too… But… no. That would just be consigning him to the same hell as me. It would be horribly selfish of me to make him suffer through pain just to lessen my own.

…I could kill myself.

No… I couldn’t do that either. Then I’d be making him watch me die. And worse, a suicide. That would be just as selfish. I could vanish and kill myself.

And what? Make him think I abandoned him?

He’d get over it.

What if he didn’t?

…At least I wouldn’t have to suffer.

Is it worth causing pain to another to reduce your own? Even if the pain caused is less than that reduction?

………I don’t know… I… I don’t feel like it should be.

Then again, it can’t be as bad as it sounds. If I’m immortal, there must be others. If I can make a few immortal friends, it might not be so bad.

But how do you find an immortal? They won’t be in plain view. Live in the same place for a thousand years, and people are going to notice that there’s something different about you. That means that immortals are probably more likely to either roam around… or live in seclusion.

People who roam… Adventurers, wandering mercenaries and warrior, explorers, travellers.

People who live in seclusion… Monks. People who want to be left alone.

Adventurers… why does it always come back to adventurers? I don’t even want to become an adventurer. All that fame, all that attention… What’s the point? It’d just be painful.

I shake myself out of my downwards spiralling contemplation as the fortress appears on the edge of my vision.

The demons within it are still frantically searching for their ‘intruder’. I already left, y’know?

Ooowwww, that’s gotta hurt. The head honcho demon is killing everyone he sets eyes on in rage, pounding skulls and chests into a pulp with his bare fists and feet, uncaring whether they are imps or demons.

…I take it that there’s no replacement for that demon mage.

He punches through a wall and screams in anger and pain as his fist bleeds.

I think my work here is done.

Gerald: Status

Status

Name: Gerald

Race: Living Fork

Level: 33 [+1]

Experience: 4765.08/7600 [+8593]

Gender: None

Age: 11 months (local time)

Allegiance: None

Fame: None

Strength: 6.5 (65.0)

Intelligence: 54.5 [+2.5]

Dexterity: 9.0 (18.0) [+0.5]

Wisdom: 54.5 [+2.5]

Charisma: 6.0

Luck: 12.1

Hardness: 26.9 [+0.5]

Durability: 18.5/18.5 [+0.5]

Mana: 1090/1090 [+50]

Mana regen: 10.90/min (5.73) [+0.5]

Psi: 545/545 [+25]

Psi regen: 5.45/min [+0.25]

Ki: 18263/3542 (35425)

Ki regen: 3.54 (35.42)/day

Unspent stat points: 0

Titles

Living – You are a living being, and as such, the energies of life heal you and the energies of death damage you.

-Trait: Average life energy absorption -Trait: Average death energy weakness

-Trait: minute life affinity -Trait: negative minute death affinity

Progenitor – The first of your species, and its forefather. Your reputation affects the reputation of your entire race.

-Trait: Minor fame gain enhancement -Trait: 50% of your fame is added to the fame of your race

Household object: Being an everyday, household object makes other beings less likely to notice you and mention you to others.

-Trait: Small fame gain reduction -Trait: Small presence reduction

Assumed inanimacy – Despite being a living entity and continually in the presence of other living entities, none have noticed your existence, assuming you to be an inanimate object. People are slightly less likely to notice you and less likely to notice your life energy.

-Trait: Minor presence reduction -Trait: Moderate life presence reduction

Fork – You are a fork. As such, you are designed to pierce, scoop and carry food.

-Trait: Minute taste enhancement -Trait: Minute piercing enhancement (restricted to food)

-Trait: Minute carry capacity increase (Restricted to food)

Second life – You have lived, and died, once before. While you died young, the experience nonetheless is an advantage over others. -Stats: Wisdom + 1, Intelligence + 2

Clinically sane – You have experienced insanity and overcome it, one way or another. The experience has changed you, for better or worse.

-Stats: Luck +5, Wisdom +1, Dexterity +0.5, Strength +0.5, Intelligence +1

Ouroboros – Like the serpent of legend, you bit your own tail. Then you ate it. Weirdo.

Stat – Luck +2, Charisma +1, Wisdom -1, Wisdom +2

Undead slaughterer – Killer of many horrors of the night, you can instinctively sense nearby undead, especially those harmful to you. All stats increased by 2 when attacking undead.

Traits

Life energy absorption (Average) – life energy heals you, causing you to regain durability.

Death energy weakness (Average) – death energy damages you, reducing your durability.

Life affinity (Minute) – You find it easier to gain life related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Negative death affinity (Minute) – You find it harder to gain death related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Fame gain reduction (Minor) – The amount of fame you gain is reduced.

Presence reduction (Small +1) – Others are less likely to notice you.

50% Fame added to racial fame – The fame of your race is equal to 50% of your fame plus the added fame of all other members of the species divided by the number of members in your species.

Life presence reduction (Moderate) – Others are less likely to notice that you are alive.

Taste enhancement (Minute) – All food that touches you tastes slightly better.

Piercing enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – It is slightly easier for you to pierce food.

Carry capacity enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – You can carry slightly more food than appearances would suggest.

Mana touched (Minor) – Mana permeates your body, changing it in some ways.

Herculean Strength (Large) – In possession of the ability to exert strength far beyond that of your peers. Multiplies base strength (Before using passive or active skills) by 10.

Structured sanity (Moderate) – a well-structured mind is a strong mind. You are resistant to mind affecting or altering affects, such as fear, charm and hypnosis.

Magic metal – You have gained the properties of the magic metal, Mithril. Your body conducts mana at twice the normal rate. Your passive mana absorption is doubled. Your maximum mana is now equal to Intelligence multiplied by 20 instead of Intelligence multiplied by 10. Your maximum durability is increased by your maximum mana divided by 100. Your hardness is increased by max mana divided by 100.

Psychic – You have unlocked the hidden potential of your mind. Stat unlock: psi.

Poison Resistance (Huge) – You are completely immune to weak and ordinary poisons. The effects of more potent poisons on you are greatly reduced.

Flea-bitten (Minor) – Fleas instinctively move towards you.

Physical damage reduction (Minute) – Damage taken that would do under 5% of your total durability as damage is reduced by 5%.

Ki Practitioner: You have gained the ability to control the energy within you, and to reinforce it with the energy around you, enabling you to perform far beyond the normal limits of your body.

Stat unlock: Ki.

Water-Proof (Minor) – Water, and many water based fluids, will slip from your surface with great ease.

Feather-weight (Minute) – You feel light as a feather. A feather that weighs slightly less than you originally did, that is. 1% weight reduction.

Cat’s flexibility (Minor) – Base Dexterity is multiplied by 2. Range of movement of joints increased by 1.1 times.

Curse resistance (Minor) – You have developed an innate resistance to curses. Reduces the effect of weak curses on you.

Heat resistance (Minor) – You have developed an innate resistance to heat. Reduces discomfort and damage inflicted upon you by high temperatures. Slightly increases your melting point. Skills

Absorb (Advanced) (Racial, Low Unique) 27.85% - Allows the absorption of energy, or substances through the surface of the body or at a distance of (Int*Wis)/10mm. Rate of absorption can be controlled. Although this ability is magical in nature, as it is a form of mana control, and mana is also absorbed, mana cost is 0. Currently the only form of energy able to be absorbed is mana. Absorbing substances has a minor chance of giving traits, abilities and skills relating to the substance.

Mana sight (Expert) (Low Unique, Passive/Toggled) 0.41% - You are capable of seeing smaller congregations of mana than before within (Intelligence*Wisdom)/1.75m. Their forms are now distinct. You can now differentiate mana by type.

Self-repair (Master) (Low Unique, Active) 10.95% - By expending a type of energy available to you, you can repair your own durability and recover your original form. Current energies able to be used: Mana, Psi, Ki. Exchange ratio: 5 mana: 0.1 durability, 10 Psi: 0.1 durability, 10 Ki: 0.1 durability.

Telepathy (Advanced) (High Rare, Active) 28.03% - Allows one to communicate with other beings in exchange for 0.5 Psi/sec*distance between user and target in meters, to a maximum range of (Wisdom*Intelligence)/5m. Allows the user to share emotions and thoughts with the recipient.

Body of deadly poison (Advanced) (Low Unique, Passive/Toggled) 0.09% – Deadly poison courses throughout your entire body. So potent is this poison that even touching you will cause great sickness and partial paralysis for a short period of time. Potency of poison scales a small amount with proficiency.

Flee (Basic) (Low Uncommon, Passive/Conditional) 3.28% - Multiplies base dexterity by 1.5 when running away from something. Will deactivate if offensive action is taken. Will not activate if you do not perceive the thing you are running away from as a threat.

Body of weak acid (Advanced) (Mid Uncommon, Passive/Toggled) 2.05% - A weak acid courses throughout your body and on your skin. So weak is this acid that it acts better as a cleaning agent than a weapon. Acidity scales minutely with proficiency.

Magic edge (Basic) (Low Uncommon, Passive) 7.05% – You have discovered how to clad the edge of your blade in magic power, increasing the power of your strikes. However, you have little experience, and as such use most of your mana in a single powerful attack.

Gaming – Minesweeper (Expert) (Mid rare, passive) 13.26% - You’ve sunk way too much time into this game. And despite the statistics saying 0 wins, 306 losses, you are way better at this than almost everyone else. Slightly increased analytical abilities. Slight instinctive ability to correctly guess the outcome of a 50/50 gamble.

Meditation (Expert) (High Rare, Active) 28.47%: Enter into a state unburdened by the worries of the physical world. There is only you, and your thoughts that exist in this world. While in this state, mana regeneration multiplied by 2.5, Psi regeneration multiplied by 2.5, Ki generated at 20 times the normal rate.

Ki blast (Advanced) (Mid Rare, Active) 41.52%: Expel Ki from your body in a concentrated blast. Power varies with ki infused. With your lack of experience, you are not able to accurately control the amount of ki you infuse into the skill, it may vary by up to 10 points.

Form manipulation – Self (Advanced) (High Rare, Active) 53.19% - Through the use of mana, you can manipulate your own form at will, albeit a bit slowly and roughly. Cannot change density or mass. Costs 4 mana/second while changing form, costs 8 mana/minute while in a form not your original.

WARNING! Do not use this ability if you are of a race with aspects that could result in death if you were to change them E.G. internal organs, mana pathways, et cetera.

Lip reading (Advanced) (Mid Uncommon, Passive) 57.31% - You have learned how to understand what people are saying by the movement of their lips. Doesn’t hurt that you can see their tongue and jaw movement, either. Rarely inaccurate, you can usually tell what people are saying, unless they have some crazy accent. Good luck with those.

Nine lives (Static) (Passive) – You will avoid the next eight attacks that would be deadly to you, seemingly by accident. After avoiding eight attacks, this skill will disappear.

Charges remaining: 8

Telekinesis (Advanced) (Low Rare, Active) 14.17% - Through Psi, your mind pushes at the world around you, moving objects without the need for physical contact. More Psi is required to produce greater forces. Currently inefficient.

External Ki manipulation (Basic) (Low Rare, Active) 0.51% - You have discovered how to manipulate Ki outside of your body. Doesn’t mean you’re any good at it. Difficulty of control increases drastically with distance and quantity of Ki.

Magic missile (Advanced) (Low Uncommon, Active) 36.62% - Fires a projectile of mana. Power scales with mana consumption, unable to exceed 25 mana per shot. Maximum range = Intelligence*1.5/metres. If remotely controlling, there is an additional mana cost of 0.75 mana/sec, otherwise direction of travel is set at initial creation of shot.

Mana control (Basic) (Low Uncommon, Passive) 93.39% - Your practice with magic has led to an increased familiarity with handling mana. Maximum quantity of mana able to be controlled reliably: 25 mana. Minimum quantity of mana able to be controlled reliably: 0.5 mana.

Power stab (Basic) (High Common, Active) 52.45% - Multiplies the speed and power of a stab by 1.1. Cooldown: 5 minutes

Mud bath (Basic) (Low Uncommon, Passive) 0.00% - Your injuries heal faster when they are covered with mud, by 1.2 times. Slightly lowered chance of contracting infection and parasites from this activity.

…However, as you are for most purposes an object, this skill does not affect you.

Climbing (Advanced) (Low Uncommon, Passive) 0.00% - You have a slightly increased ability to find handholds and footholds when climbing something, as well as a slightly increased ability to maintain grip on smaller handholds.

Melee weaponry – Spear (Advanced) (Mid Common, Passive) 0.00% - You have some experience using a standard spear. Minor increased grip strength when wielding this weapon, and +1 to Strength and Dexterity while wielding this weapon. Maintaining this type of weapon is easier for you.

Doppelganger (Static) (High Unique, Active) – Switch between your original appearance and that of a Human Male. Costs 1000 mana/min.

Psychic translation (Static) (Low Unique, Passive) – Through subconscious psychic analysis of thought waves and language patterns, allows you to understand (and temporarily speak) any spoken language as if it is your native tongue. Does not apply to non-vocal languages.