《What's A Koopa To Do? (My Hero Academia/Bowser Self-Insert Story)》Chapter 9: Battle Trial Day

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We strode through a hallway as a group. I ended up next to Aoyoma, who I immediately found something to talk about with.

“Indeed, mon ami, I have seen Incredibles,” the blonde laser shooter said primly. “Yet, I could not help but appreciate the splendor of a cape! It gives me a certain élégance, wouldn’t you say?”

To demonstrate he spun in a circle, raising a hand to his face and smirking at me.

“...You know what. I’ll admit it dude, you make this whole ‘flamboyant living Jojo reference thing’ really work. It fits you,” it was true. Somehow, while it was weird, it wasn’t as weird as it should have been. “Is it at least a clip-on one?”

“Indeed, it does. It is also fire resistant, so I may wrap it around a damsel-in-distress in case the occasion calls for it.”

“Hey,” Sato came over, looking curious. While Aoyoma looked a knight in sparkly as fuck armor with a flowing purple cape and sweet swooping red shades, Sato looked more like a classic superhero, with a yellow bodysuit, white gloves and boots, and a series of pouches around his waist. “You said that again. Jojo. What is that?”

“Wait, seriously?” I was genuinely confused. “Dude, Jojo has been around for centuries. It’s still ongoing.”

I tell you what, Jojo had had its stalls. It came back, left, but it was always around. The original author had long since left, but the series continued in some fashion or another. Funny enough, Jojo was kinda comparable to Sherlock Holmes. An old legend, retold a thousand times. It even had a modern update with the series taking place in a world of quirks. Terrible reviews, but still in existence.

“Is it a movie?” Sato asked curiously.

“It’s a lot of things. Anime, movies, games. And it’s great. Hell, I’ll introduce you to it. My friend Pony and I watch anime together all the time, so inviting others will be good. Aoyoma, have you seen it? You wanna come watch it?”

“...Have you seen me?” he said with uncharacteristic sarcasm, waving over his costume. “Of course I’ve seen it. I would love to watch it once more!” he did an over-the-top pose, flicking his hands over his chest.

“Uh, I’m not sure it’ll really be my thing?” Sato said nervously, leaving unsaid that Aoyoma and he might have different tastes in media.

“Then just try one episode,” I encouraged him.

He hesitated long enough that we exited the hallway. There, All Might was waiting. We stood there in a badass lineup. I looked across the costumes, my eyes tracing the kids.

All Might complimented the group and Izuku joined us, while I ignored him to think for a bit. Not to insult him, but I HAD heard all these speeches before, so I might as well use the time.

Last time, with Ojiro in the class (still having trouble finding him, since hunting down high schoolers wasn’t my forte) the teams had been… Well, basically, I wasn’t sure how the butterfly effect would work. Would the teams be the same as before? Shifted around a bit? Would I be teamed with the invisible girl? Then again, it wasn’t like I was his replacement in the universe… OH GOD, WAS I HIS REPLACEMENT IN THE UNIVERSE!? Did I existentially kill Ojiro!?

I dismissed the thought even as I ignored the kids asking All Might questions about the current exercise. All Might explained the exercise. Draw lots, split into teams of two villains and two heroes, try and steal a payload/defend it within the time limit.

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Even as he broke that down, I had sat down with my legs crossed and stroked my chin, thinking deeper. Ojiro wasn’t erased from this timeline. I may have been isekai’d here, but I didn’t replace the kid. So he must be around.

That said, I needed to focus. We’d be heading into battle soon enough. Time to let loose! Hopefully, my partner would be someone cool, like Kirishima. Or Aoyoma. Or-!

------

I stared at the lot in my hand. Team I, villains. Then at the lot in Mineta’s hand.

Team I. Villains.

“Oh come on, not him!” we said in unison, spinning to All Might and pointing at each other in unison.

“I’m afraid that the drawing of the lot is final, zygotes,” he said with that wide grin of his. “This is good practice as well! After all, you won’t always be paired with someone you like in the field!”

“Yes, but at least they won’t be wearing a diaper,” I snarled.

“Hey, this is battle armor!”

“You look like you’re about to take a shit and ask for momma’s breastmilk.”

“At least I’m wearing something, you nudist! You have a loincloth on!”

“It conforms to the school rules.”

“You might as well be wearing a metal napkin over your crotch!”

All Might sweatdropped at the side. “Boys, enough. You have the partner you have. Work together. Or lose together.”

“Well of course I’m going to work with him,” I turned to All Might, scowling. “Kid’s got a crazy powerful quirk that works well with mine. I can still complain though.”

“Wait, you are?” Mineta asked, anger turning to confusion.

“Yeah, if you don’t run away at the first sign of trouble,” I mumbled.

“I heard that you son of a bitch!” Mineta cursed. I sighed.

The other teams were interesting, if not as much as ours.

Bakugo and Iida were still going to fight Deku and Ochaco. I think that was just meant to be. A fated battle.

Shoji and Shoto were teamed up as well. But everyone else was mixed and matched.

For the heroes:

Izuku Midoriya & Ochaco Uraraka- Team A

Shoto Todoroki & Mezo Shoji- Team B

Fumikage Tokoyami & Mina Ashido - Team H

Kyoka Jiro & Hanta Sero - Team G

Eijiro Kirishima & Koji Koda- Team E

For the villains:

Katsuki Bakugo & Tenya Iida - Team D

Koopa Bowser & Minoru Mineta - Team I

Momo Yaoyorozu & Toru Hagakure - Team C

Rikido Sato & Yuga Aoyama - Team F

Tsuyu Asui & Kamanari Denki- Team J

Which meant then, that we would be fighting…

I looked over at him. He met eyes with me at the same time.

Shoto Todoroki and I stared at each other. His eyes were calm and cool. But there was a fire to him as well. Dude wanted to win.

Too bad. Because I wanted to brawl.

I flashed my fangs, giving him a slow smile. You can’t imagine how excited I was when he didn’t show the slightest bit of fear.

-----

The first fight began, and let me put it to you straight.

You can do amazing things with animation. You display awesome fights, powers, and emotions.

But none of the anime matched a single bit of seeing how things went down in reality. And Izuku, Bakugo, Ochaco, and Iida, battling it out in that building, putting their hearts and souls into the fight? It was more breathtaking than you could believe.

Bakugo’s explosions, Deku’s determination and hurricane punches, Iida’s super-speed and ‘villainous’ acting, and Ochaco’s creative use of her anti-grav.

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All that said… Bakugo was fucking annoying. Seriously, the entitlement of that guy. The way he kept acting like Izuku owed him anything at all. The kid was a good fighter, but a real shitheel of a teenager.

Still, it made that dopey look on his face when little ol’ Izuku pulled off the win despite getting his ass kicked all the sweeter.

Izuku and Ochaco won, same as the old universe, which meant the kids could react to it.

“What the heck?” Kamanari mumbled, staring at Ochaco being comforted for her nausea by Iida while Bakugo stood stunned over the unconscious Izuku. “The losers are practically uninjured and the winners are on the ground…”

Tokoyami hummed through his beak. “They lost the battle, but won the war, huh?”

“This is training though,” Tsuyu pointed out.

Others had a different opinion on things.

“Oooooo!” Kirishima clenched his fist, eyes closed with tears at the corners. “What a manly fight! What a manly ending!”

“Hell yeah,” I agreed. “They all laid it out on the line. If part of being a hero is putting everything you have into things, well...” I waved a hand.

“Don’t you think it was a bit much, kero?” Tsuyu asked, turning to look at me with a finger to her cheek.

“Yes and no,” I said. “Yes, they all went super hard for what is essentially an exercise. But still, Izuku, Ochaco, and Iida leave with the satisfaction of knowing they put everything they had into today's exercise. Hell, Iida showed off his acting chops to boot!”

“He sounded like a Kamen Rider villain,” Mina mused behind me.

“And that’s a bad thing how?” I asked the pinkette with a grin. “All I’m saying is, I don’t want to leave this exercise unless I know I’ve done everything I could to win. And come on, we might as well have some fun with the acting. This stuff will SUCK when real lives are on the line.”

Tsuyu hummed.

“I will be back momentarily,” All Might told us, bringing our attention back to him. “I’ll need to get Young Midoriya some medical attention and bring the others in, but continue this discussion. It is good to see such young heroes taking these lessons to heart!”

He turned and strode out the door.

“Man, that Bakugo guy really had it in for Midoriya though. Wonder what’s up with that?” Jiro asked from somewhere behind me.

“Repressed sexual tension, probably,” I joked.

“Oh god!” Kamanari stared at me, horrified. “You think so!?”

“No. And if you make the same joke to Bakugo, he’ll turn a city block into ash to get at you,” I said seriously.

“Are we all allowed to go that over the top?” Sato asked. We all unintentionally got into a semi-circle of sorts, with Shoto the odd man out. “Seems like a bit much if we all can just break whatever we want.”

“According to the terms All Might gave us, as long as the damage we cause does not threaten the fake weapon’s integrity, we will be allowed to do as we wish. Within reason I imagine,” Momo said.

“Which means no making room-sized bombs with your cool as fuck powers,” I told her gravely.

Her cool demeanor cracked. “Wha-What, I would never make such a thing! That’s too dangerous!”

“You can make a room-sized bomb?” Sero the tape kid asked her, stunned.

“In theory, but I wouldn’t!” she sounded much less composed now, more like the teenage girl she really was. Blushing, stuttering, eyes wide. It was pretty cute, and I could tell the others felt the same.

“Anyways, I guess that we know what we’ll be in for. Should be fun,” I glanced at Mineta. He glanced back at me. We looked away to focus on Shoji and Shoto.

The multi-armed hero gave us a nod of acknowledgement. Shoto didn’t even look our way, as though we weren’t worth noting.

Fine by me. My future knowledge might end, but I still had enough to throw some surprises at people.

“So I guess we’re all gonna need to figure out how we work out best together, huh?” I asked the class while we continued to wait. That’s when I remembered the conversation Pony and I had. For a moment, just a small moment, I hesitated.

I picture the look on Pony’s face if I told her I didn’t even try.

Goddamn it.

“Speaking of figuring things out,” I scratched my chin. “One of my friends from Class-B and I wanna put a hero study group together. Basically, she and I wanted to get some of us together and trade notes after class, maybe spar and practice working together.”

“Class 1-B?” Sero asked.

“The other hero course class,” someone explained. Jiro, I think.

“Wait, she? Is she cute?” Mineta asked, coming out of his funk.

That annoyed me more than I would have expected. I looked at him. He stepped back, then scowled. “Fine, don’t tell me!”

There was a brief awkward silence.

“...Well, I’d like to come,” Kirishima said, clenching a hard as stone fist. “I’d love to train with other students!”

“And doing our schoolwork in a study group would be logical,” Momo agreed.

“Eh, I don’t know,” Mina said casually, raising a hand behind her head. “We already have homework and training, ya know? I want to have some fun after school! I’ll say no, but thanks for the invite, Bowsa-kun!”

Fair enough.

“Well, open invitation then. I’ll pass a sign up sheet once we get back to class. Just let me know if you guys are down, okay?”

All Might came not long after that, followed by Bakugo, Iida, and Ochaco. We all turned to watch as All Might led them in. Bakugo looked like someone had told him he wasn’t the center of the universe and that answer had surprised him. Ochaco was still looking a little nauseous, poor girl. Maybe there was something she could do for that? I remembered a Punisher comic where he mentioned using what he called a ‘Coast Guard Cocktail’ to help with motion sickness.

Then again, maybe just a simple energy drink to perk her up and wash the taste of the rainbow from her mouth would do the job.

In the meantime, All Might gave the good news.

“-the MVP for this battle was Young Iida!” he declared proudly, surprising everyone in the class.

“It’s not either of the winners, Ochaco-chan or Midoriya-chan?” Tsuyu asked.

All Might smirked. “Hmm, well... Why is that? Does anyone know?”

“Yes! All Might-sensai!” Momo stepped to the plate, breaking down why Iida was the MVP in a pretty logical way. She was a little bit stiff in saying it, but I didn’t find anything to disagree with.

Except for the last part. “The hero team only won because they took advantage of the fact that this was training. They were practically breaking the rules,” she ended solemnly.

I frowned. I don’t know about that. Granted, Deku did wreck several floors, risking the bomb, against All Might’s instructions… Okay, fine.

Once she finished, All Might was staring at her, trying to hide how stunned he was, while Iida looked touched beyond words.

“So yeah, nice job dude,” I held out a thumb to Iida. “Especially that whole villainous thing. You’d be a great evil mastermind!”

“Thank you, Bowser!” he said proudly. Then he frowned. “Wait, I don’t know if that’s a compliment.”

“Hey, some of the best evil masterminds are good guys. I’m sure All Might knows a couple.”

We all looked over him. He coughed awkwardly, blonde antennae waving. “A-Anyways! You are absolutely correct young lady! Although, young Iida could relax some parts of himself.”

“You hear that dude?” I said to the speedster, walking over to gently punch his shoulder. “You did good. Same to you, Ochaco-chan. Secured the win and everything.”

“It wouldn’t have worked without Deku-kun,” she said, walking over to join us, Bakugo still sulking by himself.

“And it also wouldn’t have worked without you. Just because one gear doesn’t work without the other doesn’t make one more integral than the other.”

“All right everyone,” All Might said, cutting us off. “Let’s change locations and start the second match!”

------

We went to the second location, Mineta and I entered the building. I walked up to the ‘bomb’, a big missile of a thing, and frowned at it. “You know, real-life bombs aren’t this big unless you’re trying to blow up a city. This thing is nuke-sized.”

Then I turned to look at Mineta. I sighed.

“Can you stop doing that?” he said.

“Stop what?”

“Stop doing that! Taking a big sigh every time you see me,” he grumbled. “I can hear it when you do that, it’s super-annoying.”

I sighed, rubbing my face. He grumbled again. I dropped my arms and finally faced him. “Okay dude, fine. How do you feel you’ll handle combat? Can you handle Shoji or Shoto?”

He stopped grumbling to think carefully. “Can’t I just lay traps everywhere? If I can stick them to the walls, then they won’t even be able to get to the bomb!” he clenched a fist. “And then we’ll win.”

That wasn’t a bad plan. In theory. But...

The bell rang. I looked around. “Mineta. I’m going to do something crazy. I want to have your back, but if Shoto is the kind of over the top that I think he is… Then I’ll need to handle him,” god, I felt so reluctant. But the little guy had pulled something together during USJ. I had to hope I could pull something else off. “Can you handle Shoji?”

He smirked, raising a single thumb. “Of course I can!”

“The dude can toss fridges like frisbees.”

Mineta paled when he remembered that. “...I can still do it!”

That response was so weak. So lackluster… I shook my head. “All right… well, clench your buttcheeks, man up, and let’s get ready for a fight!”

Before he could say anything else, I grabbed his head. “H-Hey!” his legs wiggled as I lifted him up, letting out a squeak when I plopped him on my head. I felt a pair of hands grip onto my horns. “What’s the big idea!?”

“There’s a chill in the air,” I explained softly.

Through the door that led to the hallways outside, a wave of ice was rushing towards us with insane speed. I raised my head high. Deep in my body, the spark was lit.

And I unleashed hell.

------

With Class 1-A and All Might

A blast of flame erupted from Bowser’s lips. It left his mouth like the exhaust of a rocket ship, smashing into the wave of cold air coming towards Mineta and him. The heat and cold hitting each exploded into waves of steam, cracking the concrete around the impact point when the concrete went from freezing cold to boiling hot in mere seconds.

“He can breathe fire!?” Kamanari asked, stunned.

“He did it during the exam as well,” Iida explained, though he still looked surprised. “I didn’t know it could have such power…”

When the fire and ice stopped, Bowser and Mineta stood in a cone of dry concrete, surrounded on all sides by ice.

“Kero…” Tsuyu shivered, wrapping her arms around herself, eyes sleepily. “So cold.”

All Might stared at the screen. As impressive as it was that Bowser had managed to stop the ice, more impressive was that Shoto even had the power to turn an entire building into an ice trap.

Now though, Shoto was striding into the building, confidence in every step he took, his half-ice costume striking in the dark hallways. Soon, he would have to contend with Bowser and Mineta. That would be interesting to see…

------

Bowser

The room around us was chilled. I took a steady breath, my heated lungs cooled by the air around us. “Damn, Shoto. You have no chill, kid.”

Oh hey, pun.

“I didn’t know you could breathe fire,” Mineta whispered. “And that was Todoroki!? He can turn a building to ice!?”

“Yeah. Which means I’m up,” for the first time, I actually felt nervous. The fact he could turn a space so large to ice was pretty insane. Granted, it wasn’t really ‘turning’ it into ice, more just covering it in a layer of the stuff. Still impressive. “Mineta. When I go out, I’m going to do what I can to distract Shoto. Maybe beat him. But the second he’s distracted, Shoji comes after you. Understand?”

I reached for my head and grabbed him, pulling him off.

The kid was shaking in my grip, eyes wide, jaws clenched in fear. “Y-Y-Y-Yeah! Ahhhhhhh, I can do it!?”

I held back a sigh. Kid was terrified. But fine. That was fair.

“Okay. I’m headed out then-”

“Wait!” still nervous, Mineta reached for his head, popping off two of his sticky balls… Fuck me that sounded wrong. “I have an idea! It might help against Todoroki?”

Oh? Well this should be interesting.

------

I roamed the halls of the building, taking my time to listen closely. I didn’t seem to have enhanced senses, but I could at least hear pretty damn well. My big clawed feet were scratching against the ice. I was forced to sort of dig in as I walked, using my claws to create purchase in the ice. As I walked, I eventually heard the gentle footfall.

I turned a corner. And Shoto was there. He seemed surprised to see me. The younger student was at the other end of the hallway, dressed in that half-ice costume of his.

“Well… hello there,” I said slowly, unable to hide my eagerness. I reached for the wall and began to walk towards him. The claws of my right hand cut into the wall, sending up a loud screeching sound into the air as I approached him. I grinned slowly. “Look at you, little hero. Here to save the day! But you’re too late!”

For just a moment, Shoto’s serious demeanor cracked. Instead, he looked bewildered. “What are you doing?”

“Playing my role,” I explained. “Iida kind of inspired me. So I’m rolling with it! Today, I am the Demon Koopa King, here to destroy this city!”

I felt ridiculous, but god it was fun saying these cringe villain lines.

“I am the one! The one who will rule this world! Once I have ended you!”

I leaped forward. And a wave of ice struck me in the face.

“...Foolish,” Shoto said as I stood before him in an ice block, like a frozen statue, in mid-roar. He walked towards me, confidence in every step.

So when the ice began to crack, his eyes widened in shock.

Then I shattered the ice apart, sending chunks of white exploding outward, reaching for him. The kid reeled back, ducking under the massive claw that tried to grab him.

“Did you think freezing me would actually freeze me!?” I snarled aloud, Shoto narrowing his eyes.

“The strongest forms of ice in the world, impressive as they are,” I said, growling while I slowly approached him. “Cannot match my claws! You lose today, young Todoroki!”

“Why are you talking like that?” he asked in true befuddlement.

Wow, kid really didn’t know how to have fun.

“Because I’m a villain, now have some fun and let’s brawl!” I rushed forward. When another wave of ice flew at me, I breathed fire into my claws. His eyes widened in shock as my palms came alight in flame, before I smashed bodily through his attack, sending shards flying about. “Really kid!?” I reached for him again, claws burning fiercely, and he leapt back.

“A wave of ice, again!? Do you know the definition of insanity?” I said, feeling less awkward.

Shoto didn’t respond, only gritting his teeth and pressing his hand against a wall. A wave of ice smashed into me from the right, sending me through the left wall. I rolled briefly before rising up and breathing a fireball. The thing shattered apart as I launched it, but the brief burst was enough to keep him from coming at me, flames exploding between us.

“It’s trying the same thing, over and over. Expecting different results. Wave of ice, wave of ice,” I rose to my feet, flame coming from the corners of my lips as I glared at him. “Insanity isn’t going to cut it! I’m the fucking demon king here. Try something new.”

He looked more annoyed than impressed. Rather than talking, he slapped the floor. Before I could respond, ice spread across the floor to me, before snapping upwards into a pillar that uppercut me in the face. He ran into the room, sliding across the ice and creating a wave to ‘surf’ on, getting behind me as I stumbled. His hand reached out for me.

For a horrific moment, I thought of the Nomu. Half his body frozen, breaking apart. Intellectually, I know Shoto wouldn’t do something like that to me. Which meant the rest of me was allowed to lose it’s shit.

“GRAAAUGH!”

My voice echoed. The frost and fire around me was visibly pushed back. Shoto staggered in shock, hand barely scraping against my shell. I felt an immense chill across my back. I spun around, punching at him. He made an ice wall to block it. I smashed through the wall, hitting him in the chest, but his instinctive block made a knockout into a graze. Which still sent him flying.

A cold weight on my fist drew my eye. He’d managed to surround my claw in ice up to my elbow. I breathed a burst of flame on it, melting the ice away. When the fire got to the mass of purple in my fist, it lit up like napalm, drawing Shoto’s eye as he staggered forward.

“Like it?” I said smugly, raising a burning claw. “Mineta stuck me with those grapes of his. Turns out they burn REAL nice.”

I snarled, stepping forward. “Come on, Shoto. You’re out of your league! You’re a grain of sand blown by the wind!”

The kid clenched his fist and snapped his right hand forward. I rushed for him. “And I’m the goddamn Sahara! LETS GO!”

He created another wave of ice, pouring it on. I raised my claws, breathed out my flames and went to work. My claws and strength tore through the ice, the purple napalm on my claws and the fire blazing from my lips melting the ice just enough to let my claws rip through that much easier.

He unleashed more and more ice, forcing me to keep slashing and clawing. I could see him through the ice, his teeth grit, right foot on the floor and a torrent of ice crystals pouring forth from where that foot met the concrete. Chilled shavings of ice bounced off my yellow scales. I breathed fire, my body warm despite the ice around me. The feeling of my strength crushing and shattering the ice was intoxicating.

Shoto and I met eyes. I laughed.

Could anything be more fun than this!?

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