《What's A Koopa To Do? (My Hero Academia/Bowser Self-Insert Story)》Chapter 8: Battle Trial Day
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Chapter 8: Battle Trial Day
The next day, I jogged to UA again, meeting Pony on the way. We made plans to meet a certain someone during lunch, then headed into our classes. After 10 minutes in homeroom with our exhausted sensei, it was off to other classes.
First, English. For everyone else. After all, I already mastered English very well.
I instead took Japanese as a second language. So I ended up seeing Pony earlier than I thought I would. It was there that she introduced me to one of her fellow Class 1-B students. Which was interesting for one reason.
“Lóngguī,” A black-haired Chinese boy who had his hair pulled back into a ponytail said with a smile. “They’re famous in my country!”
“Thank god, because some people keep thinking I’m just a spiky turtle,” I said with a sigh.
“My mom talked about them sometimes,” the kid said with a shrug, looking a bit bashful. “But I don’t really remember any stories.”
“It’s fine, Rin,” Pony said excitedly. “It’s nice to learn more about them either way.”
“Quirks are so strange sometimes,” Rin said thoughtfully. “I wonder why yours would make you a dragon turtle. Although, you don’t a lot like the ones I’ve seen. Too spiky.”
“Godzillo looks like an old Toho Kaiju, so I figure that quirks might have some sort of tie to the greater human consciousness or something?” I said with a hesitant shrug. “I mean, some of the powers we have just don’t make sense biologically. I swear I met a cashier who had a speaker for a head once.”
This was an old conversation. Quirks had been around for over a century at this point, the topic of how weird they were was around forever. It was like talking about how expensive things were or something. Just something you talked to people about in day-to-day life that didn’t really need to have a conclusion to it.
Rin nodded, then chuckled. “I guess that if you’re a dragon turtle, then we might be cousins. My name means ‘flying dragon’.”
“Doooope. I think mine is some kind of Korean soup,” I noted. “So, are all of the Class 1-B kids pretty chill like you are? I was a little worried about this one,” I pointed over at Pony, who pouted.
“They’re all very nice! Even Monoma. He just hates 1-A.”
“She’s not lying,” Rin chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “He once spent class glaring at the wall that separates us until Vlad-sensei hit him with a blood ball to get him to stop.”
“What, he hates us? Do we get first dibs in the cafeteria or something?” I asked the two.
“It’s more that Class 1-A has a reputation for stealing a lot of attention I think,” Rin rubbed his chin. “Although I don’t know how he found that out on the first day of school. I wonder if he’s just making things up…”
Considering that the whole show revolved around 1-A, Monoma might have a point.
Before we could keep talking, the teacher came closer. We went back to practicing our Japanese sentences.
After this, we would have Math, Computer Tech, and Hero Lessons, which were all about the laws and such for heroism. Then Lunch. Then Hero Lessons again, but that would have a focus on using our abilities. In other words, it was when we would go for the Battle Trial.
Then Science.
Science was likely not going to be the highlight of the day.
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Pony Tsunotori
It was lunchtime! The best time of the day!
Right now though, Pony was leading her new friends to her oldest friend. She had gotten her food already and was not walking with them, looking around curiously.
“I can’t believe we’re going to talk to one of those 1-A bastards,” Neito Monoma was a young man with blue eyes and slick blonde hair, currently pouting. “Oh, but Pony! Remember to tell him what I told you, okay!”
“Okay! I’ll tell him as soon as I see him!” Pony played along. When Monoma began to cackle maniacally, it was all she could do not to giggle herself. Boy was he going to be surprised!
“Oh, grow up,” a hand dropped on Pony’s head, rubbing her hair lightly. Pony looked over at the girl in question. Itsuka Kendo, a pretty young woman with orange hair put into a side ponytail, bright teal-colored eyes, and a powerful build. “I’m excited to meet your friend, Pony. Do you see him?”
“I should be able too,” Pony frowned, turning around. “Maybe I can call hi- Ah! Bowser-Kun!”
Monoma and Kendo turned around. They found themselves face to chest with a school uniform. A school uniform wrapped around a chest the size of a truck. They craned their heads back, Monoma becoming paler and paler as he stared up at the face above. Bowser was staring at him, his chest vibrating with a low, intense growling sound like a car engine starting. A small lick of flame slipped from the left side of his face. Bowser leaned forward.
“Hi. I’m Bowser. Nice to meet you,” he said in English and it didn’t look like he was happy. Pony giggled internally. She liked Monoma, she really did. But she didn’t like that he tried to teach her to say mean things.
Speaking of which.
“Hi Bowser-Kun,” she bounced over to him. He stopped glaring to give her a kind smile. “This is Neito Monoma and Itsuka Kendo!” she said, pointing to the respective person.
“A pleasure,” Bowser held out his hand to Kendo. She hesitated before shaking his hand when he smiled encouragingly. Then he looked back at Monoma. “So… You’re Monoma.”
“You’re in high school!?” Monoma squeaked.
“I know, I look a lot younger than I really am,” Bowser joked before becoming serious. “I hear you’ve been teaching Pony more Japanese.”
Monoma had enough time to realize what was coming before Pony chimed in. “Yes! He taught me another phrase!”
“Uh, Pony-chan, m-m-maybe I should go over the pronunciation again-” Monoma began to say fruitlessly.
“Anata wa mottomo hikui, ningen no sukamudesu!” Pony said proudly. Then she looked over to Kendo. “How did I do?”
Kendo blinked at her, then seemed to come to a realization. She smirked. “Oh yes. You did it exactly how Monoma taught you too.”
The young boy stared at Kendo with betrayed eyes, then looked at Bowser weakly. “Um… How good is your Japanese?”
“You’re the lowest… human scum,” Bowser said in accented but still good Japanese. “You taught her, one of the kindest and sweetest people I know, a girl I consider practically family... to say that. To me.”
“Aw… fuck.”
Bowser leaned in close, fangs flashing as his jaws opened, fire flickering in the back of his throat. Monoma raised his hands to defend himself.
Bowser then just gave Monoma a gentle punch on the shoulder. “I’ll let it go.”
“Eh,” Monoma sagged, staring at him. Then he scowled. “Then what was the point of all this!?”
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“Because I’m guessing you’re just a punk, instead of someone actually trying to hurt anyone,” Bowser said casually. “Besides, Pony told me not to toss you onto the roof and leave you there. Which was plan B.”
“What was plan A?” Kendo asked.
“Thrown into the ocean. Most of my plans were throwing related since legally I can’t do too much to him,” Bowser said with a worrying casualness that left Monoma pale.
Monoma looked over at Pony, who nodded, before raising a stern finger. “But you aren’t allowed to tell me to say bad things anymore! If you do, I’ll give you a wedgie with my horns.”
The blonde scowled, though he also looked partially relieved now that he knew he wasn’t going to be eaten. “It’s not like she doesn’t know worse cuss words than anyone in class.”
Pony felt a shot of embarrassment. “That’s Bowser-Kun’s fault!” she said, waving her arms for emphasis. “He keeps on saying bad words in English and Japanese around me, so I keep-”
“Mastering them.”
“Mastering them!” Pony finished. Then she blinked and spun around to Bowser. “That’s not what I wanted to say!”
“It should be. You’re getting really good at saying ‘fuck’. Putting the right emphasis on the ‘ck’ part of it,” Bowser teased.
“Muuuuuuu…” Pony pouted up at him as he chuckled.
“Come on, let’s grab a bite together,” Bowser said.
“Ha! As if we would sit with Class 1-A scum! You can just- Wait, where are you going?” Monoma ran to follow when he realized Kendo and Pony were following Bowser.
“You were going to sit by yourself?” Pony asked as Bowser led them to a table with a larger seat on one side for bigger students.
“Nah, I was going to sit with you,” he said, moving his tray, stacked high with rice covered in curry, enough for three people. “And I didn’t want to bother my classmates yet.”
“So you decided to bother a different class?” Monoma said sourly, though he seemed to have calmed down.
“Oh, pipe down,” Kendo said to Monoma, turning a smile to Bowser. “Still, Pony has a point. You haven’t made any friends in your class?”
“I think I have,” Bowser said, frowning. “But I’m trying to give them some space. The only reason I’m hanging with you two is that Pony asked me. Well, that and so I could scare the shit out of this guy.”
He gestured to Monoma, who gave him a dark leer. “I didn’t shit! I knew you were joking the whole time!”
“Uh-huh,” Kendo and Bowser sarcastically said in unison.
Pony peeked at Bowser out of the corner of her eye. He was like that in their old school too. He didn’t really make friends. He wasn’t lonely or anything, and he wasn’t mean. But he was so focused all the time. Always working out, studying, reading. He never really played or watched things. Not unless he was with her. He knew a lot about movies and video games, but it was like he’d just stopped watching them.
Bowser thought he had made friends with her. Pony sometimes thought it was more like her mom and her had befriended him when he wasn’t looking. She made the effort, and eventually he started showing up on his own.
She put the thought aside though. For now, it was time to eat. Then they had Hero Lessons with Vlad-sensei! She was super excited about that. Oh, actually…
“Bowser-Kun, are you going to have Hero Lessons after lunch too?”
Bowser took a big scoop of food and took a big bite. “Yeah, we do. Which I’m excited for. We get to finally use our powers in a fight together.”
“You think we’ll be fighting?” Kendo asked skeptically. “Not training?”
“What’s the difference?” Monoma and Bowser said in unison, sharing a surprised look before Monoma scowled.
“Boys,” Kendo rolled her eyes before continuing. “I thought we would be going over our powers, figuring out our weaknesses and strengths, that kind of thing.”
Bowser hesitated. Kendo and Monoma didn’t notice, but Pony did. He shrugged. “I’m going to say we’re more likely to have some freeform stuff happen. Fighting against each other, maybe doing fake rescues. After all, there’s no point in training us if they don’t know what our baseline is in all facets of things.”
“Wasn’t that the point of the entrance exam?” Kendo pointed out.
“Against robots. Dumb machines, with basic combat skill, and based around a free-for-all point battle,” Bowser pointed out. “There’s a difference between that and actual people with quirks and personalities. People get mad, determined, they swing out of panic. And of course, hell is other people.”
“I feel like I am in hell,” Monoma mumbled.
“Monoma-Kun,” Pony said sadly. He looked up at her. She tried to give him a look that conveyed all her feelings. That she wanted him to be friends with her friend. That he was making her sad. She tried her best to put all of that into a look.
He suddenly looked as horrified as though he’d killed a puppy. Monoma straightened his stance. “Well, you may have a point, as horrible a person as you are! So we will likely have some sparring?”
Kendo smirked at Pony, who hid a smile. Boys were so fun to tease sometimes.
“I hope so,” Bowser grinned. “I really want to fight. Some of the guys in my class are real badasses. Oh! Speaking of, Pony,” she perked up. “Do you want to invite some of your classmates if we can get permission from the teachers?”
“Oh, that would be great!” Pony clenched a determined fist. “Let’s go to the office after school and ask!”
“Wait, what are you inviting people to?” Kendo asked.
“Training sessions!” Pony unclenched her fist to take Kendo’s hand. “You should come! You’re so strong Kendo-chan! You too, Monoma-Kun!”
“That would rule,” Bowser said in agreement. “Pony and I have been training together for a while, and we wanted to make a small group who could meet up after school and train together, maybe trade tips and ideas. There’s no clubs for it, so maybe we can figure something out? But if we can get one of the training areas or something; we can do spars, mock battles, and rescues together.”
“A chance to humble you and learn your weaknesses, how could I refuse?! You 1-A’s will soon regret your decision! HAHAHAH-” Monoma started, only for Kendo’s hand to grow huge and then chop him on the head, causing him to faceplant on the table.
“That’s him saying yes, we would like that,” Kendo said calmly as Bowser gaped at the weakly twitching form of Monoma.
“Did you kill him!?” Bowser said.
“Oh, he’s fine,” Pony said helpfully. “Monoma-Kun just needs a firm hand sometimes.”
“Anime shenanigans,” Bowser mumbled under his breath.
The rest of lunch went well. Still, Pony couldn’t help but worry. She’d like it if Bowser could make friends with people. He just needed to let more people in. Maybe make friends with someone as nice as him! A good person!
That would be nice.
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Koopa Bowser
I found him as I was going back to class after lunch. It was while I was going up a set of stairs, following a group of female students. They’d given me a terrified look when they saw me in the halls and kept glancing at me suspiciously. Which was kind of annoying. Most other students got over my appearance after the initial surprise, but these three seemed to think I was about to rage out. I let it go, just heading to class when I saw it.
The girls were just headed up the stairs. And under them, attached just in the center, a flash of purple could be seen, right where the girls were going to head.
“...Seriously?” I mumbled. Okay, I didn’t care how annoyed I was at those three, this wasn’t happening.
I called up ahead. “Oy!”
The three girls froze, spinning around to face me on the stairs. One of them, a girl with dark hair set into ear-length bangs and a pair of ponytails, took the lead.
“What do you want?” she asked suspiciously.
“To warn you about the idiot,” they stared, confused, as I stepped around them, approaching the spot of purple. “Mineta. What the hell are you doing?”
The stairs didn’t answer, but I could imagine the sweatdrop.
“...What is he doing?” one girl whispered.
I sighed. “Mineta, I know you’re there. Now run for it.”
I reached around the stairs, pulling hard at the small figure I found there and pulling him out.
“Eep!” the girls squealed when someone in a school uniform appeared in my hand.
“Eep!” a voice under the stairs squeaked as well. In a flash, the purple little perv dropped from the stairs, landing on the floor. He gaped at me. “What the hell!?”
“Is that really what you should be focused on?” I pointed out.
Mineta blinked, confused. Then he saw the girls. The girls who had just realized he was trying to get an upskirt look at them.
They were staring at him, eyes dark with rage.
“Uh… later ladies!” the little dude bolted, zipping around me to run up the stairs, the round orbs on his wiggling as he ran like the devil. “You’ll pay for this, Koopa!”
“That little creep! Get him!” the lead girl shouted, raising her fist.
“Or, not,” I said.
“What, you’re defending him!?” one of the girls shouted, though she hid behind the lead girl when I arched my eyebrow.
“No way. But we have class,” I pointed out.
“Damnit,” the lead girl said reluctantly, scowling even as she nodded. “He’s right… What is your name?”
“Bowser.”
She eyed me for a moment, then bowed. “I’m Chikuchi Togeike. Thank you for that.”
“No issue,” I went on my way.
When I got to the class, Mineta was waiting. “I can’t believe you would do that!” he shouted up at me, betrayal in his eyes. “Don’t you have any loyalty as a man!?”
“I do. I’m masculine enough to treat women with respect,” I scowled at him. “Seriously dude, if you want wank fodder, why don’t you just get a magazine?”
“Grrrrr!” Mineta shook his fist, eyes closed. “Daaaaamn it. So close!”
I scowled at him. “Really? That’s your takeaway from this? Do you have NO redeeming features at all?”
He stared up at me. Opened his mouth, closed it. For a moment, he seemed… sad. Like I’d pointed out something bigger than I’d expected to.
“Um,” we turned to see Mina. She wasn’t the only one in the class who was staring at us, but she was right next to us. The pink girl was looking between “What happened?”
“Some bullshit,” I glared at Mineta. He winced, then hurried to his seat. I went to my own seat.
I’d comment on it to Aizawa later. Maybe he’d give him a talking to. That kid.
Still. There was that little look he gave me. And right now the kid was staring at his clenched fists.
I rubbed my face. Whatever. Deal with it later. For now, I had a fun day ahead of me to look forward to. The school bell rang.
And a voice came from the hall.
“I AAAAAM!” the doors slid open, and All Might busted in proudly. “COMING THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!”
As the class gasped in awe, I coughed, trying to hold in my laugh. That was simultaneously dorky, awesome, hilarious, and badass all at once.
Also, as he strode in proudly in his Silver Age costume, a blue cape flowing behind him, the voice of Edna Mode filled my head shouting ‘No capes!’
Granted, I personally love capes. But I did hope he was wearing one he could detach when needed.
As I was musing on that, All Might had gotten to his spot in the room. He stood there, arms at his hips, and began to speak in those bombastic tones.
My eyes flickered to the right side of his stomach. The most powerful man in at least the country if not the world was standing in front of us. With a wound more grievous than could be believed. A man on death’s door, trying to help as much as he could before he passed.
I looked up at his smiling face and felt more respect for him than I had for anyone in my life.
He was talking the whole time I was thinking about that. “-of being a hero! You’ll take the most units of this subject! Let’s get right into it!”
He got into a bodybuilder pose, muscles bulging with power. “This is what we’ll do today-- COMBAT TRAINING!”
He spun back around to face us, the word ‘BATTLE’ emblazoned on a card he thrust out at us. The class stirred with excitement at that, Sato next to me pounding a fist in excitement.
“Awesome!” he turned to me, grinning. “Can’t wait to let loose!”
“Same, Pillar Man,” I told him with a grin.
He frowned. “Wait, Pillar Man?”
“It’s a Jojo thing, ya know?”
“A what?”
Before I could explain I was just making a (motherfucking) Jojo reference, All Might continued. “And to go with that, are these!”
He pointed at the nearby wall. Sections of it opened up, long narrow shelves coming out to reveal compartments with our class numbers on them.
“Costumes based on your Quirk registrations and requests you sent in before school started,” All Might explained.
As the rest of the class replied to that, I thought of my own costume.
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Before Enrollment
In Pony’s house, the two of us were in the kitchen. When I had trouble with designing my costume, she was the one I went to. Mostly for one specific part.
I asked her if she had a suggestion for something I could add to represent Tauren.
“Mom?” Pony asked curiously. “I might have something. But why do you want to add something like that to your costume?”
I winced. “Well… I just,” I looked down at the piece of paper I’d placed on the table. “I don’t really need armor. I might ask for a cool hammer just so I have a mid-range weapon that won’t turn people to ash. But most of the stuff I asked for is just so I look cool. So I wanted something that has meaning to me.”
Pony swung her hooves back and forth, waiting for me to continue as she sat there.
“... She had my back for a long time. Both of you did, but she’s a hero. She’s someone who saves lives. She already had you if she wanted to teach someone. Even if we aren't similar, power-wise, I can't ever forget how much she did for me. She trained me, fed me, took me into her home, taught me so much. So I want to carry something to honor her."
Pony had started smiling in the middle of that little dumb rant and had moved up from there somehow. “Okay! Well, I have an idea! Here,” she took the piece of paper and a pencil, biting her bottom lip. “You need something tough. And there is this big blank space… Okay, let me put this here, and then it can hang off of this…”
I stared at the drawing. Then I glanced at her, watching as she talked and drew.
Sometimes, I missed my family from my old world. Scratch that. I always missed them. But I was glad I’d found something like them in my new one.
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Locker Rooms
In the UA locker room, I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment. I had a pair of black shoulder pauldrons with large round studs, a pair of studded wristbands as a tribute to the OGBowser, and a belt made of the same tough metal, with a shield-shaped piece of segmented armor covering the side of each leg and a pale white piece of pointed armor in the center. Around my neck though was a thick steel chain.
And in the center of that, hanging off by a metal line, was a pair of golden horns pointing towards the ground.
Maybe Bowser would have had a different symbol. But I was pretty proud of the one I picked.
I played with the necklace for a moment, then smiled.
Felt good, looking at myself in the mirror. For months, it had been almost torture. Seeing a face that wasn’t my original one, dealing with a body my brain kept screaming was wrong. But somehow, wearing that costume with that necklace?
Looking in the mirror didn’t suck quite as much.
Time for the battle trials.
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