Chapter Five - A Novel Idea

“You would think, that despite all the many, many faults in this civilisation of yours, people in it would still learn that arrogance isn’t the wisest course.

But no, of course not.”

***

The town was a bit of a mess.

I mean that in the kindest way, of course.

I once had a peer in the sciences who had a family, you see. I always found such things to get in the way of research and my studies, but this man found the sacrifice in time worth it for his own reasons. I don’t judge, his work was still very much acceptable.

On one occasion when I met him to discuss some facets of his research, I discovered that he had some strange diagrams in his laboratories.

These, as it turned out, were the scribbles of his children, of which he was quite proud. They were very inaccurate and poorly made, but they showed a willingness to dip into the arcane arts from a young age that made the man quite proud.

Walking around the town reminded me, in a sort of twisted way, of that memory.

There were so many signs that the small city could have been improved. They had a very basic system of gutters along the streets, yet some of their architecture hinted at actual, capable craftsmen among their ranks.

But for all the little signs of brilliance there was just so much that was wrong. The streets had filth along their sides, the people Alex and I crossed were dressed in little more than rags, the section of the town nearest the docks, the one that I would ordinarily have labelled as the slums, took up half the town.

There were so many signs that the local governance just didn’t care.

Was it a sign that there was a great amount of inequality, or stupidity in the upper ranks? It might have been too early to judge.

Upon entering the town proper, I pulled Alex to one side and half-hid behind a small outhouse near the gates and observed some of the normal townsfolk until I had an idea of how they dressed.

“Word of Deceit: Illusion”

Our new appearances were nothing too impressive. Plain, if clean robes in the local style, with minimal embellishments and a sash around the waist to keep everything snug. The locals seemed to prefer looser clothes, possibly on account of the region’s temperature.

I, of course, chose not to copy the raggedy clothes worn by the poorest citizens I saw. It wouldn’t do not to be taken seriously on account of seeming disadvantaged that way.

As for our faces, I crafted a rather dull illusion, both of us looking like middle aged men, with dark irises and just a hint of stubble. Nothing special, nothing to make someone glance at us twice.

“I believe, my boy, that we’ll find what we’re looking for nearer to the centre of this little city,” I said.

“Of course, Sir Bone Papa Harold,” Alex said. “We should also look for proper lodging for the night.”

I considered that for a moment. Neither Alex nor myself required sleep at all. On the other hand, if the local’s dislike of the undead, as unreasonable as it was in our case, was as profound as I suspected, then finding a place for the night wouldn’t be a terrible idea. As long as I had reading material enough to last then I would be quite pleased.

“I think you may be right, Alex,” I said.

Alex smiled up at me, his walk turning into a skip for a few steps.

The business sector of the city--I would need to learn its name sooner or later, and whether it classified as a town, village, or small city in the minds of the locals--was little more than a curved street with perhaps two dozen shops on it. Those nearest the side of the town with the harbour were mostly small grocers and a few respectable but small general stores.

A smithy sat in the middle, with a few young men, apprentices possibly, banging away at simple tools. The road would have been wide had it not been for the stalls and carts where people in colourful attire were hawking their goods.

There were a lot of fish on display, but also a few places selling vials and small jars filled with products their sellers claimed were potent poisons and antidotes.

Perhaps the local economy was sustained by the sale of such things? It would make sense with the scrublands just outside. I was certain that there were plenty of normally vile natural venoms turned downright evil by the constant presence of necromantic magics.

“Ah-hah!” I said as I pointed towards the far end of the shopping district. Nestled between a shop selling clothes that seemed of a nicer cut and a place that I suspected was a brothel, was a small shop that had a few books on display behind a glass front. There were scrolls as well, and writing implements.

I had a bit of a habit of losing myself while perusing stationary. There was something about a grand choice in nibs and inkwells that pleased my nonexistent heart.

“I believe we’ve found our place, Alex,” I said.

I didn’t have any of the local currency--small metallic disks with cuts in their centre, from what I’d seen--but I did have a wealth of gold and jewels and other such frivolities tucked away in a pocket dimension.

We were approaching the shop when we were faced with a distressing scene.

Two young men, both in clothes cut similarly to those of the men we’d met just out of town, were standing above a young woman who knelt on the ground. Next to her, a small hound was barking and growling as it tried to defend its master.

“Give it back,” one of the boys said. “That is property of the Four Vemons Sect, it’s not meant for filth like you.”

I could see the girl gritting her teeth. “I won’t!” she said.

The ‘it’ in this case seemed to be a book that the young lady was clutching close to her chest.

One of the young men shoved the girl with the flat of his foot and glared down at her. “Idiot woman!”

No one seemed to be doing much, merely walking on, most while very actively pretending that nothing was happening.

Not that I blamed them. I would have walked on too, but there was a small issue. “Forgive me,” I said.

The boys looked up, now glaring at me as if I had done anything to wrong them. “What do you want, old man?” one of them asked.

Old man? My illusion painted me to seem like I was middle aged at most. Though, to be fair, I was a few millennia old. I decided to look past the slight. “Could you ruffians take the young lady and beat her elsewhere? I am trying to enter that shop.”

The boys stiffened up. “Are you mocking us?” One of them asked.

“No?”

“What are you saying? Huh?”

I had my illusion blink. “I’m saying you’re blocking the storefront. If you would just let me pass you could resume your fun. I’ll doubtlessly be in the shop until long after you’re done.”

One of them bristled quite needlessly. “Are you saying we’re slow?” he asked.

I... had no idea what he was talking about anymore. “No? I’m literally asking you to step aside for no more than a moment.”

“We’re disciples of the Four Venoms Sect,” the boy said.

“That’s nice. You’re also in my way.” I sighed. “Truly, if I knew it would be this much of a bother I would have snuck past. As novel as this situation is, it’s getting between me and some books.”

I paused.

“Oh. Novel. Like a book! Oh hohoh!”

One of the young men took offence at my wonderful sense of humour and lunged at me.

He didn’t make it more than a step before Alex appeared before him and dislocated his jaw with a backhand.

The boy made an interesting gurgling scream as he flopped to the ground and clutched what remained of his lower face.

“Oh no,” Alex said. “My clothes are even more dirty now.”

“No worries. We’ll be finding you something more appropriate to wear shortly.”

“You fool!” the boy still standing said. He whipped out some needles in our general direction.

It was sloppy. Had I not acted half of them would have flown off towards the people behind us, perhaps even hitting some unimportant civilian. I wouldn't--and couldn’t--shed a tear for a random passerby, but it would have the authorities sniffing about.

“Cover.”

A shimmering shield flickered into being between us, the brace of needles clattering against it without so much as rippling the magical barrier.

Lesser Cover was a rather poor spell, one that could stop a physical projectile easily enough, but it was not exactly a powerful spell. Perhaps I had books in mind when I cast it. It was a cover spell after all.

Perhaps I should keep on-theme.

“Bind.”

Ethereal chains appeared in a circle around the two young men, then snapped closed around their arms and legs and head. The one that still stood crashed to the ground under the sudden weight and the one on the ground... continued screaming. I couldn’t even block his mouth without first repairing his jaw.

“I appreciate you removing yourselves from my path,” I said as I continued on towards the store.

Something tugged at my leg.

I looked down to find that the girl had grabbed the hem of my pants and was clinging on quite tightly. “Thank you,” she said.

“Mmm, yes. You’re welcome and so on. Please let go of my pants.”

“I... you’re so strong,” she said, her face was still pressed up against the road.

“I am. Which would be a valid reason to do as I ask and unhand me.” I wiggled my foot a little.

The girl looked up, her face was quite the mess, with dirt caked on, and her overly large glasses cracked down the centre. “Please, teach me,” she said.

“No. Have a good day.”

Her hand let go and I continued on my way. The dog eyed Alex and I wearily as we moved on past, not so much as growling.

The shop’s door had a quaint little bell affixed to it, announcing our entry into a wonderful world of books and paper. I almost missed my sense of smell.

There were some decorative wall scrolls here and there, as well as cubby-hole shelves filled with scrolls all neatly tucked away. Books were stacked onto desks and sitting on shelves, while some lay open and on display, usually on artfully decorated pages with grand maps and such.

The proprietor was an older gentleman who merely looked up from his reading of a tome as we entered, then resumed his entertainment.

“I missed this,” I said to Alex. “Now. Let’s see how this place is organized. I’d usually just take one of each book and scroll, but I would rather not end up with too many trashy novels or the like.”

“How can I help, Papa?” Alex asked.

“Why, by holding the books I chose for me.”

Alex nodded along at that.

The doorbell jingled again, and I glanced to the entrance to see the young woman stepping in. she had a handkerchief pressed up to her face, but that didn’t prevent her from locking onto me. “You,” she said.

“Did you expect me to teleport away?” I asked. “No, don’t answer that. Instead, go away.”

“What was that dao you used,” she asked. “How can I learn that.”

I had a sinking feeling as I met the young lady's eyes. I had just acquired a limpet.

How wonderful.

***