《Slime Cafe》Chapter Four: Around Town

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Slimes.

What is it about them that I find so interesting? They are not intelligent creatures, Silaos knows. They roll around and eat everything they can get their mouths on, regardless of whether or not the items in question will fit. They possess little power and actually grow less intelligent, rather than more, as their age and size increase.

I’ve already examined Asterl’s history thoroughly in hopes of discovering a slime Monarch. I had no such luck; there existed only four, and none of them was a slime.

I should do some more research.

-Daro D’Vari, slime enthusiast

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Miro felt something patting its surface before it finished waking up, and for a brief moment, it thought of someone else.

Then its eyes opened, and it was met with Olivai’s almond eyes curiously observing it. Miro chirped and followed it with a wide-mouthed yawn. Olivai smiled. “It seems I might have been wrong. I didn’t know slimes slept.”

Miro wasn’t sure if slimes did or didn’t need sleep, but it’d definitely wanted to sleep, and that’d been good enough. Pulling air into its body, it slowly inflated and shook itself, alert. It gave Olivai a pleasant burble, and she patted it again. “You really are remarkably polite. How did you sleep?”

Pausing to think about it, Miro burbled uncertainly. How was it supposed to know how it slept when it was asleep? It could hardly observe itself. It could watch Olivai sleep, but that felt like a bad idea for some reason.

Olivai didn’t seem to mind the answer and stood up, kneading her lower back with an expression of slight discomfort. “Yesterday was quite the trek, wasn’t it? I should take today a little easier. What do you think?”

Miro bobbed its entire body furiously. If Olivai wasn’t doing anything, then she would have more time for Miro, which sounded like an excellent idea. It didn’t know what sort of things priestesses did in their spare time, but it was excited to find out.

Olivai nodded slowly, rubbing sleep out of her eyes with a thumb. “Yes, you’re quite correct. Of course, you agree with me, so…” Allowing the sentence to trail off, she lifted Miro out of the seat it’d fallen asleep in and set it on the floor. Sitting down in the chair, she removed a box from the desk and began to carefully apply makeup to herself.

Accepting that this was normal, Miro rolled over to the bed and bounced onto it. The surface of the bed was even softer than the cushion, and it only took a few moments for it to start dozing off.

It was launched a solid foot into the air as Olivai slammed her hands onto the bed, and Miro released a panicked burble of shock at the sudden movement. Settling, Miro spun around and found Olivai staring intensely at it, her makeup only partially put on. “You nodded.”

Slightly confused, Miro gave her another nod, and she pointed at it. “You did it again!”

Miro rolled backward and Olivai grabbed it by the sides, her eyes roving over its surface. “Miro. This is very important.”

Stilling, Miro looked straight at her, and she slowly took her hands off. She was trembling, although whether it was from excitement or worry Miro couldn’t tell. “Miro, shake your head. Or your body - you know what I mean.”

Miro promptly complied, somewhat chagrined. Olivai sucked a sharp breath through her teeth. “Bounce.”

Once again, Miro obeyed, and she nearly fell into her chair. “Oh, Didoa help me, you know what I’m saying. You’re - I need to talk to somebody about this.”

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Leaning down, she stared at Miro. “I’m going to carry you to Otto’s house, okay? Or would you want to just follow me?”

Miro tried to figure out how exactly it was supposed to respond to that. It couldn’t use her language with any level of ability, after all.

Without much warning, Olivai grabbed Miro and practically sprinted out of her room. Miro burbled loudly with no small amount of surprise and concern as she took the stairs three at a time. The tiny flaming slime in its cage was now awake and simmering lightly, causing a slight heat mirage above its cage. It gave Miro an inquisitive raspberry as they sailed past it, and Miro replied with an abashed bubbling sound.

Olivai’s bare feet made a loud slapping sound against the cold stone of the chapel’s floors, but she didn’t seem to notice as she sped onward. Realizing they were about to leave, Miro clamped its mouth shut and braced for the onslaught of scents.

The church doors were thrown open and she shot past a startled Daveen on her exit. He whirled around and shouted a question which was lost to the wind, leaving Miro to wonder what he’d been trying to ask.

Olivai slowed as she realized how many people were already awake, even though the sun’s light was just barely shining above the horizon. Miro could feel her heart thudding in her ribcage. It had the feeling she didn’t often run.

She made her way through the streets, moving on a clearly predetermined path to Otto’s house, or so Miro presumed. Due to her slowed pace, Miro was allowed to better observe Caro Lias in all its underwhelming glory.

It really wasn’t all that special of a town. Many of the buildings looked similar, most likely to save on time needed to design new ones. Every now and then they would walk past a two-story home, but for the most part, the houses in Caro Lias all shared the same basic features in the same basic pattern.

The road was maybe twenty feet wide, allowing for plenty of access and a good amount of room. Built from flat pieces of rock and cemented together with some unidentifiable gray substance, they’d been made to last. A series of lightposts were placed at even intervals along the road.

A Maderai - the one Miro had seen coming in, if its memory was correct - was extinguishing the small lights one by one. She was wearing poofy white pants smeared with soot. Her top consisted of a sleeveless shirt that only had straps going over her shoulders, made of a tight fabric that clung to her thin frame. A leather satchel was hung around her neck, dangling off her hip.

Bright blue and yellow feathers stuck out from everywhere, and were especially large around her head and neck. Her avian eyes and a wickedly sharp beak were screwed up in concentration as she reached in, and she crushed the little candle’s flame.

She winced almost immediately and shoved the majority of her claws into her beak. Sliding down the pole, she shook off some oil and frowned at the rest of the street.

Her dismal expression disappeared the moment she saw Olivai. Hurriedly rubbing her claws on her pants and staining them further, she jogged over. “Hello, priestess Ladenstar! How is your morning thus far?”

Olivai gave her a hurried nod. “My morning’s only just started, miss Avynne.”

Avynne’s feathers bunched up uncomfortably. “Oh! Yes, of course. The sun has not even risen yet.” She chuckled, anxiously sharpening her claws on each other. “Er… where are you headed?”

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“I’m going to Otto’s house. I need to discuss something very important with him.” Olivai gave her another quick nod, trying to hurry.

Avynne was evidently in much better physical shape, and she had no problem keeping up with Olivai. “Ah, something important. Does it somehow involve your pet slime?”

Olivai glanced down at Miro, who burbled back up at her. “Yes, it definitely does.”

“That is great, then!” Avynne exclaimed, walking backwards so she could face Olivai. “I could just carry your slime to Otto’s, and then we could talk about... blessings, maybe?” She still looked extremely nervous, but her voice was tinged with more hope than anything else.

Miro was a little surprised at how rapidly Avynne had come to terms with Miro’s docility, but Olivai shook her head. “I’m afraid not, Avynne. In all likelihood, it’s not something I want to be public information.”

Avynne nodded rapidly, causing her neck and head feathers to stick out at odd angles. “I see. Then I shall avoid telling anyone!” Pausing, she scratched her beak. “So, what is it?”

Olivai shook her head again. “I can’t tell you. I don’t know how meaningful it is yet.”

Avynne’s feathers drooped. “Oh, alright.” She stopped backpedaling and waved at them as they headed onward, although Miro had the distinct feeling she’d been directing it more towards Olivai.

Miro immediately felt a little irritated with itself for feeling bad about it. Of course she’d been waving to Olivai. Slimes weren’t supposed to be smart; they were supposed to be bitey.

Wait, should Miro have bitten Olivai at some point to make it look like it wasn’t docile? Or was that something it was supposed to be hiding? If so, why? It hadn’t met anyone yet who it didn’t like, aside from possibly its master. Granted, it didn’t want to think about disloyalty to its master, even though he’d abandoned it, but…

That, Miro decided, was a train of thought for another day.

Olivai stopped on the street, pivoted on one foot, and went for a building that definitely didn’t match its neighbors. It was a squat, tough-looking place made from precisely cut blocks of stone, fitted so closely to each other that it was impossible to tell where one began and another ended. Its roof was a shallow slope, still made out of stone. It had no windows.

Olivai paused in front of the door, set Miro down, and then took a deep breath. Throwing the door open, she grabbed Miro and sprinted through.

The sole source of light came from a candle dangling from the ceiling. A staff was nearby, along with a vaguely humanoid dummy, and a bed was shoved into the corner. There was no other furniture, not even a table.

Olivai promptly strode towards the bed. “Otto! Wake up!”

Startled into wakefulness, Otto rolled over and got tangled in his blanket. It was shredded a moment later as he stood, bare-chested, wearing only a pair of shorts and wielding a knife large enough to be a shortsword. “What thuhhh… wazz goin’ on?” He gaped stupidly, squinting in the low light at the occupants of the room.

Placing Miro on the unnaturally flat floor, Olivai closed the door and then spun around to the bleary Otto. “Miro can think!”

Otto slowly blinked, and then toppled back onto his bed in a seated position. “What?” He sounded confused and more than a little annoyed.

Olivai gestured to Miro. “It could perfectly understand me, Farland! It knew exactly what I was telling it and responded!”

Otto moved like the air was made out of mud as he looked down at Miro. “The slime is talking to you.”

“Yes!” Olivai immediately agreed, and then shook her head. “Alright, no, but it responds to commands.”

Setting his knife on his bed, Otto put his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose. “So, to summarize, the slime that was summoned through a very expensive circle specifically to obey a person with magic… can recognize orders?”

Olivai stopped dead in her tracks, mouth moving silently for a moment. “But - but Miro was…”

Otto nodded sleepily. “I get it. You’re tired, I’m tired, we don’t think these things through. Just go to bed and tell the slime to… I don’t know, go home or something.”

Miro rolled over to Otto’s bed and bounced on top of it, landing on the giant man’s stomach with enough force to make him double over. Satisfied with its aim, Miro slid off of him and waited.

Once he’d recovered enough to sit up straight, Otto glared at Miro. “What was that, mental commands or something?”

“I didn’t tell him to do that!” Olivai blurted, surprised and a bit angry. “Miro, you can’t attack anybody! Especially not paladins!”

Miro wasn’t feeling especially obedient at the moment. It hadn’t eaten since the sparkles from the previous night, and those definitely didn’t count.

So... really, it’d never eaten in its life.

The point being, it was in a significantly more grumpy mood than normal. Miro wasn’t even totally sure what normal was. It certainly hadn’t lived long enough to figure it out. But now Olivai was shuttling Miro from one place to the other without once getting it some food to eat. She hadn’t eaten, either! Why wasn’t she hungry?

Otto rubbed his stomach sorely, suspicion written across his face. “If it’s not obeying you, then…” His eyes narrowed as he started reaching for his knife again.

Miro didn’t bother waiting around to find out what Otto had planned for it. With a burbling screech, it hurled itself from the bed and tried to exit through the door. Being made of wood, the door itself wasn’t quite as watertight as the bricks themselves, and Miro found a decent-sized chink in a moment.

It was only an inch or two high at the most, but that wasn’t going to stop Miro from trying. It managed to wedge a small chunk of its body through the gap before Olivai seized it and pulled. She lost her grip at the last second and fell over backward, hauling Miro into the air and across the room.

Oscillating uncontrollably, Miro suddenly found itself wedged in an iron grip between Otto’s ungloved hands. Rolling its innards, it made eye contact.

The paladin’s expression was fierce, no hint of sleep left in his formerly tired eyes. “Olivai. Is this thing still immune to purification?” His voice, previously so full of humor, was as flat as the floor they stood on.

Getting to her feet, Olivai dusted herself off and frowned. “Most likely, yes. Why do you ask?”

Miro gave Otto an uneasy burble, and after a moment, he sat down. He took a deep breath, held it, and then slowly blew out through his mouth. “Does it usually obey you?”

Olivai considered the question. “Well… not always in the way I expect it to, no. But Miro really hasn’t tried anything strange up until just now.”

Otto frowned. “Do you think it has something to do with me? You’re a priestess, which means you can talk to animals and whatever, right?”

She sighed. “Farland, I’ve talked about this with you before. It’s not talking to them. Didoa grants me an aura of kindness, which makes many creatures docile upon first meeting me. It doesn’t apply to beasts and it most assuredly does not apply to monsters.”

Compacting itself suddenly, Miro bounced out of Otto’s grip and onto the floor, where it rolled behind Olivai. It still wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but Otto had started squeezing at some point.

Otto pointed at it, some of his humor returning. “Mm-hmm. You know, I might be one of Silaos’, but you could sure use some honesty along with the kindness.”

Olivai put her hands on her hips. “Farland, we’re getting off-track. I’m reasonably confident Miro is capable of making its own decisions. An autonomous slime.”

Shaking his head, Otto disagreed, “It was summoned to follow orders, that’s all. It has to be able to figure out what is and isn’t an order.”

Folding her arms, Olivai asked him, “All right, explain why it jumped on you.”

Otto frowned. “Okay, I’m not sure about that one, but slimes literally aren’t smart enough to be sapient. They don’t have any organs, much less a brain.”

A slow smile came over Olivai’s face. “There’s an easy way to figure out for sure.”

His eyes widened. “No.” He stood up, scooting away from her. “No, I’m not doing that!”

“It’d work.”

“I hate doing that with people, Olivai! There’s no way it’ll work on a slime. It doesn’t even have the right senses!”

Olivai smiled widely. “Will it hurt either of you?”

Otto glared at her. “I really don’t want to answer that.”

She shrugged. “You have to be honest.”

Rubbing his eyes, Otto groaned loudly and then stood up. “Fine, I’ll do it. Silaos protect me, I’ll do it.”

Olivai clapped mildly. Otto’s eyes sent ineffective daggers in her direction. “I thought you were supposed to be a priestess of kindness. Where’d that go?”

“This is kind, Farland. I’m being kind to everybody. Including Miro.” Her smile was wide and sincere, despite the unorthodox circumstances.

Otto muttered something under his breath that neither Miro nor Olivai could make out, and then stretched. Miro burbled curiously as he rubbed his hands together, and then his eyes started glowing white. “Silaos, permit me entrance. Grant me insight unto the slime called Miro.”

And then everything got very weird.

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