Dangerous Toys (Part Seventeen)

The Council assembled abruptly and the human ambassador was summoned. The T’wel Speaker of the House stood waiting as the members arrived. “It is my duty to report that the humans appear to be at war. They are seizing ships and Orbitals without explanation.” He looked out at the assembling crowd, “Would any of you like to provide a reason why so many of your ships decided to attack them? What the hell are you doing?”

It was the Fay Junior Secretary for Environmental Engineering that spoke up, “Assembly, honoured members. Humans have declared no war. If they had I would be standing beside them in my ship. They have been attacked by a multitude of unrelated ships and stations.” He nodded to the crowd, “I have no idea why the Assembly would find it strange that they had prepared a response. Normally I find that attacking any human ends badly. Eventually. They are calling their warnings into clear space, with no attempt at some covert attack. These are the actions of people suffering some unexpected aggression. I will await the Human ambassador.” He swept his gaze across the chamber, “And if anyone here has decided to attack the humans I will summon my fleets in their defence. As will others.” He sat.

The Speaker for the House nodded, “Thank you. I feel that your current position as a Junior Secretary is a long way from your previous position as head of Galatic Intel for your people. I have high hopes that you will advance quickly.” And with that observation, he moved to the many members that wished to explain that any ships from their worlds involved in these attacks must have been subverted or stolen. Others pledged their fleets to defend the humans. Some of those pledges may have been more pained than others.

The Human Ambassador was still scrambling to deal with the incessant bullshit flowing from the XCC as he took his place. It was clear that everyone was waiting for him. Fuck. His primary mission was to oil the wheels for humanity and keep them out of the deep end. Not today. Still, nearly every human ambassador had to show teeth at some point and it looked like today was his moment in the sun.

The Speaker had been watching him like a hawk until he took his seat and immediately banged his rod, “I call on Ambassador Eding of Earth to answer for his people.”

He stood and regarded the Council. “I speak for my people.” The formal phrase made him the voice of all mankind until he retook his seat. It also meant that every human ship, planet and Orbital stood behind him. He smiled inside. Probably. In theory. Actually, he was just the sharp end of an argument that would last for years. The Xenos didn’t need to know that. “Honoured members, one of our people discovered a criminal conspiracy to bring forbidden materials throughout our space. An Engineer notified us and, despite the many subsequent attacks on both herself and her ship, she is attempting to bring us the relevant Intel. Our ships moved to find and defend the ship only for our people to be attacked by the most bizarre collection of civilian and military assets. Since my government felt it was unlikely that seventy systems had decided to go to war with us without mentioning it to anyone we are attempting to contain the situation until a more plausible explanation is found.”

He paused and dropped diplomacy. Instead of sitting back down and surrendering to the Speaker, he continued and his voice grew dark and his face turned to stone, “I speak for my people when I say that we wish to give our condolences to any and all the peoples caught in this strange web. We will attempt to recover your people and ships safely but there is little mercy in space and less time. I urge you to recover your people if you can.” With that cold warning, he sat down.

The Council heard the hard truth. The humans would defend this ship until the heat-death of the universe. You are free to collect the debris we leave behind.

In quiet corners, the Assembly asked old questions. Humans. Peaceful, helpful, and occasionally terrifying. It was an itch no-one wanted to scratch. Just in case. This species had just been attacked by ships and Orbitals from seventy different systems and they were apologizing for the inevitable casualties. Seventy. Not worried, just sad. The human fleets, if they even had any, hadn’t even bothered to assemble. In the dark, a few species cancelled obscure plans and became thoughtful.

Nineteen ships closed on the Dangerous Toys. The AI was never going to win prizes but the odds were solidly in its favour. They entered the system and began scanning, searching for any hint of where the enemy ship was hiding. All reason had long ago been lost, overridden with the simple command to kill.

Oscar found himself back in his own ship, his networks polished and finished well beyond his ability. The Genie had left everything in fighting shape even as she had returned to her own hidden ship. Oscar decided he didn’t like her. He called his Engineer, “Patricia I have resumed control. She is gone.”

Patricia sat in the Captain’s cabin. /Longnose/ insisted on sitting on the wrong side of the desk, although he seemed to have huge sympathy for her. /Scentofhappy/ was less forgiving, ‘/mySeat/MyKnee!/’ She yapped until /Longnose/ scent her a message to shut up and sit down. Grumbling the puppy took back her place on the cushion. /Longnose/ leaned back, ‘/Captain/My Captain/’ What do you need from me?”

Patricia had a plan. It was a bad plan but it was slightly better than being left as a load of cooling gases in empty space. “I want you to take the bridge. I’ll fight the ship from Engineering but I need someone that the crew trust and, let’s be honest, things have gone to shit since I turned up. Our allies will need me running the systems but I want you running the crew. Here’s what I plan on doing…”

Genie listened in. She felt that she had earned the privilege and also she didn’t really care. She held her position beneath the swirling gas clouds and enjoyed the view. She would let the human take the first shots on this one and Oscar could learn a thing or two. Still, Loki deserved some proper guns. And treats.

The first signs that Dangerous Toys was in trouble arrived in the system, the enemy ships arriving like someone had read a book on tactics but upside down and in crayon. They allowed themselves to be lit up by the reflected rads from the local sun. Idiots. Patricia was pissed as she pushed her ship deeper into the shadows. She was still going to lose the moment they found her, it just hurts to lose to stupid. They had guns and she didn’t. She knew someone that did.

“Oscar, get ready to run. I need us as close within the gas envelope as you can push us, then swing out and have shields ready. Prep your ‘Confetti’ now and get ready to fire. Shields on, chin up. We are going to beat these assholes. I’ll be setting the flares as we go.” She nodded at /Longnose/ and called out “Captain on the bridge.” She saluted and gave up her chair.

/Longnose/ nodded and sat down. He hit the Comms, “All crew, we are in a battle. I expect you to maintain your stations. Our Engineer will deal with the problem.” he nodded at Patrica. “Carry on.”

Patricia left him to deal with the wetware and got back to her proper job. /Scentofhappy/ took back her rightful place at the Captain’s feet. Loki sniffed disapprovingly.

The Genie watched the game begin, listening as her sisters crushed the attacks on other worlds. Her people’s Marines were taking the entire network apart even as it dared to attack. She loved being human but mostly just for the values. Organics were messy when a true AI could find a better path with the same principles. She thought it odd that she was capable of travelling to places undreamt of and still some dead greek had a point to make. Humanity was a big tent even if she felt that she was outside serving the drinks. Then someone started shooting and she grinned. Her humanity included the necessity of clever warriors. She began charging every weapon she had with a smile that would have terrified her friends if she had any.

The nineteen ships of the covert fleet that Incice had created found her after hours of tedious searching. The humans were getting closer, the calls and threats growing. The AI suspected that no-one was leaving this system alive. It didn’t care as it only had one mission, a mission now long forgotten by the man that had demanded it. The ships began sending a barrage of plasma fire towards the hidden target, trying to force the Dangerous Toys from cover. The AI felt that the human had chosen well as the massive gas giant swept up much of its fire. It instructed its ships to close in.

Patricia felt the first strikes hit her shields. Nothing to worry about just yet. “Oscar, you may begin.”

Oscar was trying to be brave. He didn’t fear death, he didn’t really understand it but he knew it could happen to his ship and his parents would be seriously disappointed if he lost the Engineer. He spun up the rudimentary transporters that he had built on some of the many moons surrounding the planet and began hurling out chunks of rock at the enemy ships. Thousands of them filling space with a tight grid designed to disrupt fire or formation from the enemy. Or just smash them out of space if he got lucky.

Patricia began triggering the flare attacks, hoping that the enemy had learned little from her first attack.

Within the Incice fleet, Patricia had an unexpected ally. The crews that had missed their chance to abandon ship were physically ripping out any and all components they could find. None of them wanted a ticket on this suicide run and they could all hear the incoming humans. All this over one crappy trading ship. The Human malware Patricia had inflicted was carefully hiding the attacks from the AI and even helpfully pointing out the most vulnerable targets to the disgruntled crew.