It's a brain ( Part Three)

Word filtered into the universe that a Founder was back, and that it had a ship. Solent Orbital was being quietly torn apart for traces, anyone involved in dealing with the Human was currently being held. The K:Keck system was, without explanation, under quarantine.

An unmarked Battlecrusier was sitting over the Palace. Its name, probably written in invisible ink, was the 'What Are You Looking At, Mate?'. Below, a heavily armed squad was asking politely for information. There may have been a slight impression, probably misguided, that being impolite might follow if the squad didn't get answers.

Meanwhile, heading into deep space, Random was trying on her new heads.

Eells was patiently waiting for her opinion," I'll change it again, if you like." This was taking a while.

Random regarded her Avatar's form. She had chosen a bipedal form, similar to the human, but she had added a tail. Privately she agreed with Oskar on that one.

Just because the humans had, in a very poor move, lost theirs, she felt that it was an elegant touch.

Also it made talking to her Captain easier. Part of her kept an eye on him while he recovered in the med bay. Moulting looked uncomfortable.

"I'll keep them both. What do you think?" She gave a twirl, swishing her tail. She had gone for fur after watching the Captain.

Eells had been around longer than any other sentient in the universe, he recognised a trap when he saw one.

"Random, I live to serve. This is your first Avatar, enjoy it and we can develop the design as we go along.

You look wonderful, of course. I would recommend wearing only one head at a time, though. Eye contact is important to organics and two different sets is a bit confusing."

Random laughed," You're so old-fashioned!'

Eells nodded," Well, yes. I suppose I am."

Captain Oskar was resting in the med bay. Whatever Eells had done, his moulting was peaceful. No itching for once.

He had spent quite a lot of time talking to the ship. Funny how quickly you got used to things, now he was enjoying discussing things with Random. Mostly he was trying to figure out what the future was to be. For the moment, he felt that he would be hauling Eells on his vague mission. After that, if that actually worked, the universe would look very different and he would be standing right at the beginning.

Eells was trying to catch up on history. Well, not history exactly. He knew, roughly, where to find what he was looking for. It involved a lot of maps. So far, he had three possible destinations. The problem was that they weren't exactly nearby.

"Random, I need you to plot a course to these three coordinates.

Random was confused,"I hate to state the obvious, but those points are empty. No planets, no suns. Nothing."

Elles agreed," We are looking for dead space, what I'm looking for is well hidden. Did you know that humans were obsessed with Pi? The math, not the food.

He looked at the maps.

"When we had uncovered countless dead civilisations, we worried that, one day, something would wipe us out. It was sheer luck we made it to space, given how good we were at mass destruction.

So we came up with 'Plan Pi'. We put certain resources at places along the Pi code. Practically random, but recoverable if you held the key."

Random searched her new data for the Pi project. She swore for the first time in her existence.

"You really did this? Fuck. But why use Pi?

That's practically infinite."

Eells explained," It's a universal constant. It's been a competition among humans to find the longest number since we could count. Combine it with the key and it can't be lost to us."

Random looked at the destinations. It only took a moment to find them in the long string of numbers. She couldn't find the key. As far as she could see, they were completely random.

"I don't understand. I cannot see anything that links these spots."

Elles began whistling.

"See?"

The first destination was empty.

Apparently someone had restarted the human race before. They had left a beacon, it simply said " Best of luck." It was about four hundred million years old.

The second set of coordinates held only debris. Someone or something had destroyed everything, many eons ago. The cold space served only as a warning. Apparently not everyone was happy that the humans could return.

The Random arrived at the third set of coordinates.

A sphere floated quietly in space. The size of the Earth's moon, it waited for the call.

Eells kept the ship at the edge of the system. Well, not a system, since the object floated alone but he instructed Random to keep well clear.

"I'll have to do this bit myself. Stay put for now. I'll call you when you're needed."

Back on K:Keck, the discovery that the royal family had hoarded a Founder for generations was going down poorly.

"What kind of idiots are you? Founder tech has been banned for thousands of years. And you kept one as a pet?"

The K:Keck royal advisor was struggling to explain," We kept it contained! It was forbidden to awaken it, unless the Queen felt it was necessary. It was not allowed to incarnate, or even to protect itself! Just a naked brain, surrounded by our greatest warriors."

At this point, many new ships had joined the What are you looking at, Mate. The Captain of the Unlisted was battling the instinct to wipe the Palace of the face of the planet. Finally it sighed, wearied by the sheer stupid on display, " Why keep it? What was so special about it?"

The royal advisor hesitated. He suspected this wasn't going to help, " It was an Engineer."

The Royal Palace burned below as the fleet considered its next move.

"Seriously? An Engineer. This couldn't get worse. Our records show that the Founders will probably be back then. We're fucked."

A general sense of gloom filled the fleet.

"What's the worst that could happen? It was millions of years ago! We are not some primitive culture, impressed by magic tricks! They will be just another race, one among millions. We will not be conquered!"

The Captain of the Unlisted considered the situation. His race had, probably, the best records of the Founders.

"They don't do conquest. In fact, they despise invaders. Our history records that our Fleets were wiped out by a single Founder ship that took offense at our attempts to, ahh, expand."

"Then why are we all huddled together like scared children?"

How to explain this? It always sounded weak. People never learn.

"Everything will change. All your AI will, eventually, be Sentient. Your Cities will prosper with the Human's tech. Soon the humans will be on every ship. Helping."

"That's it? That's why we're out here?"

They always get it wrong.

" The humans will make you follow their rules. If they don't approve, your ship won't approve. Things simply stop working. Eventually, we are all living in a way they approve of.

Because it's easier, more profitable, safer. Then they get bored and leave, it might take a million years, but it always happens, then the Universe falls into chaos."

The Captain of the What are you looking at, Mate was unimpressed. "So we are out here to try and stop some kind of million year long Golden Age? Seriously, I have better things to do. I was told this was an imminent threat. I'm out." At that, he plotted a course home

So did the rest of the fleet

The Unlisted sat alone in orbit.

"They never understand."

Again, his people would struggle alone against the insidious humans. He read the last Holy words of the Emperor that had finally lost to the humans.

"Our Ships Refuse Us,

Our Enemies Prosper,

Our Factories Fail,

Our Slaves Revolt.

Beware the Human with an open hand, for soon he will hold you by the throat."

Eells left in the shuttle. Despite the whisky, he was less than certain that this was going to work. He had no idea which humans had built this one. They could be a million years older than his own civilisation, or worse. Only one way to find out.

There were no ports, no flashing lights. It didn't matter where you landed.

The shuttle set down and was enveloped by the moon .

Eells stepped out into a vast hall. A single figure was approaching. This was going to be interesting, whatever happened

"Hello Engineer Eells, my name is Longshot. Welcome to the Pi project. I've heard a lot about you."

Elles was surprised. He hadn't exactly been famous in his first life, " Nice to meet you. I hope it was all good."

The Longshot laughed," I'm afraid you became a legend after you disappeared. The asteroid thing? Brilliant. Used it myself, on the odd occasion. I was lost in time myself, I understand how disconcerting it can be. Relax, we are all human here."

"Do you mind if I call my ship down? Random is young, she will get worried"

Longshot concentrated for a moment,

" Sure. She's fine. The Xeno pirate will have to stay on board. No offense, I think it might freak him out down here. You better meet the committee."

As they began walking together, Longshot had a few questions. "So, how did you get here? A little out of your time zone."

Eells had told this story too many times.

"We got stuck. A black hole event. We were grabbed by some unfriendlies, the crew died, eventually, and I didn't. I was kept as an oracle, a Founder in a box. Then the Random turned up.

He reflected," Well, it wasn't the Random Event then. It was Oskar on some floating wreckage. I fixed it."

The Longshot sympathized. "Rough. Might I ask what the VFS stands for? I have no record of that designation."

Eells laughed," Very Fucking Stupid Random Event. Don't tell her."