I COULD HARDLY BELIEVE ME EYES AS THE FLESH TENTACLE DRAGGED ME UPWARDS, BUMPING ME NOGGIN INTO ALL SORTS OF UNFOLDED WEDGES AND JAGGED ANGLES. I SIGHED AGAIN, PONDERING OF KITTYHAWK’S TREASONS. KNOW NOT WHY I TRUST THIS BIRD. ALAS, WE DON’T ALWAYS CHOOSE OUR FAMILY OR ANSWERING MASHEENS. A COMPLAINT WOULD HAVE TO BE FILED AGAINST KITTYHAWK, FOR HE IS A VERY NAUGHTY ASSISTANT BIRD.

“ARE YOU DRAGGING ME TO BE JUDGED FOR MY PANCAKE BAKING SKILLS? BECAUSE I’VE APPLIED TO THAT CONTEST LAST WEEK AND HEARD NOTHING!” I DEMANDED OF THE FLESH TENTACLE. THE TENTACLE STRINGS ANSWERED ME NOT.

I PLEADED WITH IT AS I WAS WHISKED THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A FLOPPY YO-YO, BUT IT WOULD NOT LISTEN TO ME.

SOON I WAS HUNG LIKE A PINÁTA. BROUGHT FACE TO FACE WITH MY CAPTAIN, BASKING IN THE GLORY OF THE PRINCESS OF ALL CAPTAINIA.

I WAS HELD BY A MOIST STRANGE OF CREATURES. TWAS A DEER MADE OF FLESH. AND HERE I THOUGHT THAT THE DEERS WENT EXTINCT. PERHAPS THIS STATUS ONLY APPLIED TO NON FLESH DEERS.

MY CAPTOR SPOKE TO MY CAPTAIN AS IF SOMEONE SO VILE COULD DARE SPEAK WITH SOMEONE SO GLORIOUS.

“DoEs tHiS BeLoNg tO YoU?” THE FRIENDLY DEER QUESTIONED. BUT NO, I CHASTISED MYSELF. THIS BEAST WAS NOT FRIENDLY. VERY MEAN HE WAS. STOLE ME FROM MY RELAXING TEA PARTY WITH KITTYHAWK. HOW FURIOUS THAT KITTYHAWK WAS GOING TO BE I HAD LEFT SO ABRUPTLY, AND WITHOUT EVEN TASTING HIS FRESHLY BAKED SCONES!

BUT, AS THEY ALWAYS DO, MY JELLY BELLIES LEFT WHEN CAPTAIN LOOKED UPON ME. CAPTAIN’S GLORIOUS GAZE LIFTING MY HEART OF HEARTS.

“HELLO,” I ASSEVERATED.

CAPTAIN WAS ELATED TO SEE ME, AS IT SHOULD BE. FOR I AM THE FAVORITE.

“AHH! PILOT! YOU’VE MADE IT! HOW DELIGHTFUL!”

THE DEER SHOOK ME WITH HIS MIGHTY TENDRIL LIKE A BAG OF POTATOES. I FELT MY MARBLES ROLL AROUND AND KNOCK THE INSIDES OF MYSELF.

“iF He iS Of mEaNiNg tO YoU. tHeN He wIlL Be mOsT UsEfUl tO Us.” THE DEER HAD A VILE VOICE THAT MADE MY RIGHT EYE WHISPER OF ITS TERRIBLE ATROCITIES TO ME, AND MADE ME THINK OF WINTER. BUT NOT THE GOOD WINTER. NOT THE WINTER WHERE CAPTAIN COMES TO ALL THE GOOD LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS AND GIVES THEM SWEATS AND PRESENCE. BUT THE BAD WINTER. THE WINTER OF COLD AND DEATH. I DID NOT LIKE THE DEER. IT SMELLED LIKE OYSTERS AND CRIMES. AND OYSTERS DID NOT GO WELL WITH TOAST.

“PILOT IS MY LOYALIEST EMPLOYEE. WHY, AS WE SPEAK HE IS ON A MISSION OF GRAVY IMPORTANCE!” CAPTAIN ANNOUNCED PROUDLY TO THE RED OYSTER DEER.

“ThEn hE ShAlL Be tAkEn iNtO CuStOdY UnTiL YoU CoOpErAtE WiTh uS WiLlInGlY. oThErWiSe, We wIlL AsSiMiLaTe hIm.”

“OH PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ME TO THE CUSTODIAN!” I SQUEALED IN FEAR. “FOR HE IS A MOIST MEAN MAN, WHO WIELDS A FRIGHTENING MOP.” BUT THE DEER DID NOT HEAR MY PLEAS. INSTEAD CHOOSING TO IGNORE ME. WHAT WAS I TO DO? HOW COULD I COMPLETE MY JOB IF I WAS WITH THE CUSTODIAN?

AND WHAT A JOB IT WAS! TO FIND THE MOST PERFECTEST FLYING MACHINE FOR CAPTAIN. OH, WHAT HONOR! AND, THOUGH I HAD SEARCHED FAR AND WHITE, I ADMITTEDLY HAD NOT FOUND THE BESTEST ONE YET, MUCH TO MY ASHAMEMENT. OH, HOW SNIPPY WOULD GLOAT!

I COULD ALREADY IMAGINE HIS FOUL WORDS.

“Guess you’re not so perfect, eh Pilot?”

I SHUDDERED, JUST IMAGINING HIS CHILLING VOICE CUT ME DOWN TO MY SOUL. I HOPED THAT WHAT I FOUND WAS PLEASING TO CAPTAIN. SURELY THAT WOULD SHOW SNIPPY.

"HOW GOES THE MISSION PILOT? HAVE YOU FOUND A FLYING MACHINE?"

I DUG DEEP INTO MY POCKETS, SEARCHING FOR MY WHAT I BROUGHT FOR CAPTAIN. AS I DUG DEEP THROUGH MY VARIOUS COLLECTIBLES, ME POCKET MOTH BIT ME. I THOUGHT THIS WAS QUITE RUDE OF HER, AND TOLD HER SUCH. FINALLY, I PRODUCED THE MULTI-COLOURED TINY WINDMILL.

“HOW SPLENDID, PILOT!” CAPTAIN EXCLAIMED. I HOPE THAT MEANT ZEE WOULD GET ME DOWN. I COULD NOT FEEL MY FOOT.