《Romantically Apocalyptic》24. Traffic lights
Advertisement
To:
EMISSARY OF HUMANITY
TWELFTH AND A HALF STREET,
APARTMENT SEVENTY BEE
MANCHESTER,
PLANET MERCURY
FroM:
THE DESK OF PILOT
FROSTY LAND OF TRAFFIC LIGHTS
PLANET EARTH
DEAR PRINCESS CAPTAIN,
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT DELIGHTS IT IS TO FIND YOU ONCE AGAIN! MY HEART FLUTTERS WITH ALL THE HANDLY FLAVORS OF MERRIMENT!
I MUST ALSO SAY THAT I GREATLY ENJOY THE GRAND MELODY YOU ARE WHISTLING TO MOTIVATE OUR MARCH ACROSS THE LAND OF TRAFFIC LIGHTS.
I DO NOT MUCHLY TRUST THE RESIDENTS OF THIS LAND, THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS THEMSELVES FOR THEY ATTEMPT TO PIN SINISTER THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD CUSHION BY BLINKING YELLOW MORSE-CODES AT ME WHILE I AM NOT PAYING ATTENTION...
"ARE YOU STRATEGICALLY WARNING ME OF MUCH IMPENDING DISASTERS?" I BLINKED BACK AT THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS. "OR ARE YOU SECRETIVELY TRYING TO SLANT MY BRAIN-NOODLES SIDEWAYS?"
"WHICH ONE!?" I DEMANDED.
"User: Charles Snippy. He is to be dexified, you know." THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS BLINKED IN YOUNGLY-FEMALEY VOICE.
"DON'T I KNOW IT! SNIPPY IS A NO GOOD ROTTEN APPLEOID!" I BLINKED BACK.
"Yes, Christophorus. You must kill Charles Snippy. That is your job. Do your job."
"MY JOB IS TO BE A QUALITY CITIZEN OF CAPTANIA!"
"Why not both?"
"CITIZEN MURDER IS ILLEGAL IN GREATER CAPTANIA!" I NODDERED WITH RAPIDITY.
"Don't do it directly yourself. Make others do it. It won't be your fault if Charles falls into a hole which you had dug a week prior and had stored pointy spikes in. Oh no, it will be the fault of Charles and his failure to be attentive. It will be the fault of the pointy objectoids. They will be the ones charged with murder. It's okay though, for they have pointed-ness insurance and Goodly lawyers and Charles does not. See how this works?"
Advertisement
"BUT..." I BLINKED.
"Charles will replace you. He is already taking jobs away from you. He will take Captain away from you. How many times has Charles been declared citizen of the month, already? Time after time he has received praise and appreciation from Captain. He is a threat to your livelihood. You must end Charles. You will be rewarded. Trust me." THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS VOICE STAPLED STENRLILIKE.
I CONSIDERED THIS DEVELOPMENT. THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS GIRL-BEAST WAS RIGHT.
SNIPPY CONTINUES TO UNDERMINE CAPTAIN'S DIVINE AUTHORITY WITH SNIDEY COMMENTS!
. . .
MY RIGHT EYE TELLS ME TO KEEP A STERN WATCH ON SNIPPY, FOR HE IS NOT A TRUST-WORTHY CHARACTER. IT'S A RATHER SAD THING HE WAS ABLE TO FIND HIS WAY BACK TO US ON HIS OWN, AFTER HIS TRAIN-PICNIC, OTHERWISE I'D HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO FETCH HIM.
I RELISH THE JOB OF FETCHING SNIPPY FOR IT MILDLY SATISFIES THE DEMANDS OF MY RIGHT EYE.
IT DOES NOT PLEASE THE EYE WHEN SNIPPY GETS LOST, BUT IT DOES PLEASE IT WHEN I FIND HIM AGAIN.
HUNTING SNIPPY IS RATHER FUN!
IT IS A SALTY THRILL FOR ME TO BUILD ELABORATE TRAPS FOR SNIPPY TO WALK INTO, FOR A MORE ELABORATE EACH A TRAP IS, THE MORE POINTS MY RIGHT EYE REWARDS ME.
EACH TRAP IS OF COURSE TAX DEDUCTIBLE, WHICH IS A GREAT BONUS.
DOES THIS MEAN THAT SNIPPY IS THE ROADRUNNER TO MY COYOTE OR JERRY TO MY TOM?
SINCERELY,
MOST OBSERVANTLY,
WITH INFINITE ADORATION,
YOUR MOST PLIANT SERVANT,
PiLoT
Advertisement
- In Serial15 Chapters
How A Villain Builds A Kingdom
READ THE WARNING Amadeus Devereux was born into a rich and powerful household. But he did not pursue power like his brothers because of his love for art, flowers, and poetry. Until one day, a servant arrived in the garden to see Amadeus smiling as if he was looking at a flower. Only this time, Amadeus was looking at the mangled corpses of two gardeners. ————————— Set in a fantasy world where magic exists, follow Amadeus as he embarks on a journey of self-discovery. Will he be able to feel emotions as others do? This is a novel that I wrote because I got tired of all the tropes that had transmigration, regression, deus-ex machina, etc. where everything that makes the main character reach the top is left to luck. —————————
8 117 - In Serial18 Chapters
The Fated Saviour
A young boy lived his life in boredom. Living alone in his home while his parents were out there in the vast world. He thought it would never change, but that was until he met something that would change his life forever. Another boy lived his life in the slums outside of the walls of a richer city. He thought he would continue living the same as always; always being at the mercy at those with power, but he too would soon discover a supernatural power.They were given a chance to change their situations, but this world is not as simple as that. One can not hope to achieve change without hardships and risks.
8 175 - In Serial38 Chapters
Suddenly, Planeswalkers appeared.
Planeswalkers are referred to as someone who traveled through another plane of existence. When Darwyn encountered the wizard from the other world, he goes into a journey to find these so-called Planeswalkers. I decided to write this story to become a good writer, any criticism about my writing and story are welcomed.
8 116 - In Serial14 Chapters
Sea Paradise
! (TEMPORARY HIATUS) !Every 70 years flying fish come from the magical place called ‘’Sea Paradise’’, a paradise that all fishers dream of visiting. Tono Toshiro, a grandfather also had the same dream but sadly died. Now Hayato, a 20 year old fisher, wants to fulfill his grandfather's dream by visiting the Sea Paradise, but what obstacles does Hayato have to face to reach that goal, and does he have what it takes to do so?
8 62 - In Serial9 Chapters
Deus Ex Machina
Narrator Mode On: It is inside. The error, the machine, the program. Now all is broken. Now all is a glitched world. It doesn't remember, it doesn't feel, it doesn't think. Or does it? It arrives at a new land, literally. Now a choice between two gods will be taken. Choose wisely, because your life depends on it. Will it slay the spire, or descend the abyss?
8 59 - In Serial16 Chapters
Yami Desolate- The destroyer (a reincarnation story)
In the midst of a school assembly, a summoning circle appeared out of now where and everyone within the school hall was transported to another world, one of fantasy and magic. Having been called by the goddess to help against her fight against the forces of evil she gives them each a blessing and sends them to the kingdom of light and sanctuary The holy union. """Welcome heroes from another world, We need your help against the forces of darkness, but first lets check your status"""" boomed the king. Although the students and teachers was in confusion, about the current situation they complied and one by one checked their status. Noticing each has their own class along with a blessing, the kingdom welcomed them with open arms as a special unit called the sacred heroes to fight against the forces of darkness.However during the summoning ceremony caused by the forces of light, a similar ceremony was happening caused by the forces of darkness that called upon the recently dead soul of Yami whom recently died from the cruelty of the world . 1 hour before the school assembly started. Yami was on the roof, the only place where he can feel at peace however as he was walking near the edge, he was pushed off by another student, as he was falling he started to curse the world and the cruelty of humanity but what he cursed the most was his own lack of power, the moment he landed on the pavement bleeding heavily, it was clear he was dying, however before his death his last words was """" Im sorry, hikari i cant protect you anymore goodbye my light, """".Yami thought this was the end of everything the oblivion only for him to wake up in darkness, and a voice calling out to him Would you like another chance?, Knowing there was probably a catch he accepted anyway refusing to let his regrets go. Yami awoke only to find himself reincarnated within an egg. Yami was reincarnated into a half dragon and half demon this is the story of desolate the destroyer.author noteslazy author that only releases non edited or barely any edited chapters. UN EDITED, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. There is no point on critiquing a unpolished work it is just like saying that is a rock..... there is only point in polished work such as this gem hasn't had the best of care and wasn't cut properly. !
8 213
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
