Beth once again found herself floating in a black void, only this time there was no house, and the void wasn’t featureless. Instead, she was amidst a field of stars… So many stars. It almost hurt the eyes. But the stars were not the most startling thing she could see. That distinction belonged to the massive planet that dominated her vision. It was as though someone had taken the Earth and ballooned it up by three or four sizes.

A voice emanated from somewhere in the ether.

Before you lies… Arenia.

It was a gravelly, comforting man’s voice that spoke of smoke and earth and the wisdom of time. It sounded like Sam Elliott.

We come together to welcome you, Beth Sullivan, granddaughter of ERROR, wife of Peter Sullivan, and mother of ERROR ERROR, ERROR ERROR, and—

“Oh dear,” Beth said.

We see that you will be joining us from ERROR ERROR, and—”

A second voice broke in, this one female, and in no way soothing. Damn it, Carl, you had one job! Now look at this mess!

There was a period of cussing, then silence.

“Um, hello?” Beth said tentatively.

Just hang on a sec, will you?

“Okay,” Beth said. With nothing else to do, she surveyed the world below her. It was pretty, at least.

Ugh. Alright, sorry about that—I think we’ve worked out what happened. That idiot, Carl, sent you down before we specified your landing location. You were supposed to arrive together and now you’re scattered all over the place. We’ve got some people working on it, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

The voice let out a big sigh.

It’s just… I didn’t need this right now, you know? This is already a pretty stressful job without people making it even harder.

“Oh, you poor dear,” Beth said. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be to move people from one planet to another. That does seem rather complicated.”

I know, right? Well, it looks like I’m going to be taking more of a direct hand with you folks than I normally would. You seem nice enough. Mostly. Usually, the people we send over are a bit, well… let’s just say it’s tough to find people who don’t have any friends or family who will miss them without hitting on a pretty specific phenotype.

“I would imagine,” Beth said. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but so long as the voice was polite, she saw no reason to be anything else in return.

Okay then, you ready to get the legal disclaimer out of the way?

“Legal disclaimer?”

Yeah, it’s just a bunch of boilerplate mumbo jumbo. The universe is a big place—did you really think Earthlings invented bureaucracy?

Beth snorted. “No, I guess not.”

I like you, Beth. You’re alright, the voice continued brightly. Tell you what, I’m going to help you folks out a little bit. I’ve got a bit of wiggle room, and Carl muffed this punt so badly that nobody’s going to question me exerting a little authority. That okay with you?

“No, by all means. You’re the expert here. I trust your judgment.”

Okay, we’ll see what I can come up with. It won’t happen right away—I barely know anything about you, so I don’t know what would benefit you the most. Heck, we don’t even know your class yet.

“Class?” Beth said. There was a slapping noise, and Beth had the distinct impression that if the voice accompanied a body, their palm would have just smacked their forehead.

Oh yeah, you’re not a gamer! I forgot. You see, your class is what you are. Kind of like a job back on Earth, but on Arenia, it’s more like your identity. So, while you might hold any number of jobs while you’re here, what you ARE is a fighter, a cleric, a magician, and so on.

“There’s magic on Arenia?”

For sure! Most places in the universe have magic. Earth is an oddball in that regard. I wouldn’t get too dead set on a given class, though. Arenians don’t get to pick their class; it arises as a consequence of not just their actions but also their subconscious desires.

“Why is that?” Beth said.

Come on, Beth. You’re a smart cookie. How many people do you know who aren’t lying to themselves at least a little bit about who they are? Our whole goal is to maximize potential, and we’ve discovered that to do that, a person needs to have a class that reflects who they truly are. Now, that isn’t to say that you get ZERO choice. But your options are limited to things that reflect your true inner self. Isn’t that nice?

For the first time, Beth felt true apprehension about Arenia. “I’m not so sure. I was a social worker for six years. A person’s true inner self can be a pretty awful place.”

There was an awkward pause. Yeaaaahhhhh… that’s a bit of a political third rail up here, so I’m going to keep my mouth shut. Suffice to say that your instincts serve you well on THAT particular matter.

Anyhoo, here’s the legal paperwork; just hit “Accept” whenever you’re ready. I recommend you read it first. Actually, I don’t, but I have to say that anyway, so here we are.

A screen appeared in front of Beth, looking not unlike a tablet computer. She reached for it and discovered that it did indeed have a physical presence. It was filled with legal documentation, but after an extended period of swiping, she realized the scroll bar had barely moved. With a sigh of resignation, she scrolled to the bottom and hit the big green button that resided there. It wasn’t as if she had any choice in the matter.

Excellent; we can send you down now. I think I’ve at least got you targeted near your starting city, which is… Palmyre? Yeesh. Yeah, I’m giving you a bigger house. I’m putting it in your name, too. There’s patriarchy all over the galaxy, so if I get to choose whose name the house goes in, I’m putting it in yours. Screw ‘em, right?

“I very much appreciate that, thank you.”

No problem. Also, since we’re dumping you in the middle of nowhere and telling you to get to Palmyre, it would be a bit of a dick move not to give you this:

Quest Opportunity: “GET TO PALMYRE”

Basically, exactly what it says.

Reward for success: XP, Getting to see your family again.

Penalty for failure: None.

ACCEPT? YES/NO

The words burst into Beth’s brain. “How do I…?”

Just think it, and the system will take care of the rest.

Beth consciously chose to accept the request and was greeted with another message:

Quest “GET TO PALMYRE” Accepted

“That was easy enough,” Beth said. “Is there anything more I should know?”

No, that’s pretty much it. Normally I’d have handouts and stuff, but Carl…”

“I get it.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

“No problem. Oh, and before I go, is there a name you go by?”

Oh sure. I’m Verna. Enjoy your new life on Arenia!

Beth’s stomach dropped as the gravity of Arenia seized her in its grip and yanked her towards the planet. She picked up speed, going faster and faster, sheer terror gripping her as she began to wonder whether they were about to slam her into the planet at Mach 10. That continued for about a full minute, at which point it dawned on her just how many times she could have been killed by these beings already. Why would they choose NOW to slam her into a planet? Gritting her teeth, Beth did her best to endure the drop and ignore the planet that was roaring up at her with ever-increasing speed.

Angela floated in a featureless void above a bright blue planet with only stars and vacuum for company.

“This is so cool!” she said. If she could have jumped up and down in anticipation, she would have.

There was a brief muffled clicking noise, and then a voice spoke.

Hi Angela. Is that correct? Angela, Angie?

“Angela is fine.”

Great. Okay, Angela. Here’s the deal. Carl screwed up. Usually, when we send a group to Arenia, we do a big package thing. Muffins, coffee, PowerPoint—the works. You get a big info dump, and then we hit the ground running once you get your bearings. But an idiot who shall remain nameless—”

“Didn’t you just say his name was Carl?”

Did I? I certainly can’t understand why I would have mentioned Carl. That would be irresponsible. I mean, imagine if an oversight board were listening in on this call, only to discover that Carl was the reason this whole transfer went teats up. Why, that would be really bad for Carl. No, I can’t believe I’d ever have mentioned Carl in the context of this conversation.

“Oookay…” This was not proceeding as Angela had expected.

As I was saying: Instead of dropping all of you into the group protocol, the person whose name could be anything up to and including Carl instead put you all into the solo protocol. Ergo, everything is a bit of a clown show right now. You’re going in with just the base attributes you’re bringing over from Earth, unfortunately. Usually, you’d get a bit of a boost, but the points are person-specific, and the ones we put aside were allocated to some dingbat named—there was the sound of pages flipping—Iggy Stevens? Yeesh. You Earthborn have strange names. Oh well. You’ll get some compensation to make up for it eventually, but in the meantime, try and stay alive, okay?

Angela couldn’t care less. Sure, it would have been neat to have some unallocated points right out of the gate, but it would still be cool working out how the system worked. She was going to min-max the shit out of this place. “Hey, whatever. I’m just pumped about this whole process. This is going to be awesome!”

That’s what I want to hear! I love enthusiasm. I hate stupidity, though. Try not to get those two mixed up.

Okay, before you head down, here are the main bullet points: Don’t die, don’t get too worked up about killing things—that’s how you level up your Renown, after all—and know that your Class choices will be limited by your thoughts and actions.”

“Wait, so I won’t be able to just pick Druid?” Angela said. She was going to be pissed if she got sent to an amazingly awesome RPG fantasy planet, only to be told she couldn’t be an elf or a druid.

It depends. If you are the kind of person who loves nature, and conservation, and protecting—

“That’s me! You’re describing me!” Angela shouted. “I’m ecologically conscious, vegetarian, concerned about global warming… everything. All of that is me. I work for an NGO! You sure as hell don’t do that for the money.”

That does sound like a decent start. It’s ultimately Ennàd’s decision, though. Entering the service of a god is not a unilateral decision, nor one to take lightly.

“That’s the god of nature?”

Aren’t you the sharp one. It seems like you’ve got a pretty good handle on things already, so what say we get that paperwork signed, and I can send you on to your new life?

Some sort of floating holographic tablet computer appeared in front of Angela. There was the briefest flicker of a green “Accept” button that only existed long enough for Angela to mash her finger down, banishing it to oblivion and sending her rocketing toward the planet, a big smile plastered across her face.

Excuse me, the voice said. I asked if you have any questions?

Mark stared at the glowing rectangle in front of him. One press, and he would be off to somewhere incredible. A world that was a combination of game and real life. Go anywhere, do anything, be anyone. It was more than he could ever dream.

Except for one thing.

“I do have a question,” Mark said.

Yes?

Mark braced himself. “It’s about my… condition.”

The voice didn’t respond. Mark began to wonder whether she was still there.

“Hello?”

The voice reappeared, but it had a different tone. One Mark knew all too well. It was the one he’d heard from doctors all through his adolescence when they had bad news to deliver.

Yes. I am aware of it, the voice said. I should apologize. We wouldn’t have selected you for the program under normal circumstances.

Mark took a moment to collect himself.

“Is it treatable?” Mark said. “On Earth, I had medication. It took a long time to find a combination that worked and another four years to get my life back. I don’t want to go back to how things were.”

I’m sorry, there isn’t. There are fundamental differences between Earth and Arenia, the most significant of which is that Arenia is a planet with advanced magics, whereas Earth is a planet with advanced science. Your medication falls under the realm of science.

A glimmer of hope surfaced. “Does that mean there’s a magical equivalent to Earth medication? Or even an outright cure?”

Let me cut you off right there. The short answer is yes, but you are a long way from being able to afford it, if ever. I realize that’s a harsh thing to say, but I don’t want to give you false hope.

“Then just give me the cure! You’re the ones who abducted me by accident.”

If I could, I would. But there are rules. I can’t just give you a pile of money. And trust me, it would be a LOT of money.

“So what’s a viable route?” Mark said, raising his hands. “Nothing? You’re taking away the only thing that keeps my life together and then dropping me into a place full of wild animals and monsters who want to eat me? Is that what we’re talking about?”

Mark, I’m very sorry. As I said, it was a mistake to bring you here.

“Yeah, but you did, didn’t you?” Mark snapped. “And you don’t even know if I have any rebirths left! I’m super excited about the prospect of lying useless on a forest floor while a dragon comes along and eats me.”

A dragon would be very unlikely. Those are quite rare.

“What eats me isn’t the goddamn point! The point is that you screwed me, and you know it.”

Mark, I—

“No! Forget it. I don’t want to hear whatever it is you have to say unless it’s how you can make this right. Can you? Can you say that?”

He waited, but there was no answer.

“That’s what I thought.”

Mark held up the tablet with the glowing green button. “Just promise me you’ll make that asshole who sent me here watch what happens. Because when I die, my blood is on his hands.”

Then he pressed the button.

Peter floated in the nothingness, half-listening to the disembodied voice explaining their situation and what was to come. It took all of fifteen seconds for his brain to go into total lockdown. He knew he should be paying more attention, but holy hell. Maybe this was a dream scenario for the kids, and Beth was born with her grandfather’s resilience, but all he could see were the struggles they would soon face. Honestly… how much could one family endure?

Rough times were a theme with this family. Jack’s wife, Beth’s grandmother, had died of cancer when Beth’s mom was only 17; years before Beth was even born. Then the same fate befell Beth’s mother, setting up a chain of events that saw Beth lose both of her parents and getting pregnant with Angela while Beth and Peter were still undergrads in university. To say it was a rough time would be a gross understatement.

Without Beth’s grandfather, the two of them would never have made it through those early years as a couple. Hell, they weren’t even dating when the pregnancy happened. How a 73-year-old widower who had just lost his only child managed to simultaneously run an orchard and help raise his great-granddaughter was beyond Peter. That old man was a different breed. But thanks to him, they persevered. First, with Peter finishing university while Beth had the baby, then with her going back to school while Peter took over the orchard. Peter had expected Jack to stay in charge until they nailed the old man’s coffin shut, but on his 80th birthday he declared that he had “two great-grandchildren and one job, and only enough energy for two of the three.” After that, the orchard was theirs.

For his part, Peter thought the old man was crazy. You could run a hundred orchards with the energy it took to raise two children.

Still, despite all they’d been through, nothing the family had faced was quite like this. Obviously. And from what the lizard guy said, when they did one of these abductions they would pick people like Angela—people who would leap into the experience with open arms. That description did not apply to Peter. Quite frankly, “pissed off” was a better descriptor.

Peter, are you listening? the voice said. I can’t emphasize enough how important this is.

“Sorry,” Peter said, struggling to keep the annoyance out of his voice. “I’ll pay attention.”

What has you concerned?

“Is ‘everything’ a viable answer?”

I know this isn’t ideal, but it isn’t good to make the transition with the wrong mindset. Your son was upset as well, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to calm him and was forced to move forward.

“Mark’s upset?”

That surprises you?

“Of course it does. As soon as Mark was diagnosed, he just kind of… tuned out of life. He sits around, plays games, and reads. I’d have thought this place was a dream come true.”

He is concerned about his condition.

Peter sighed inwardly. “Of course he is. But it’s no different here than it was on Earth. Does it make things more difficult? Yes, obviously. But it can’t be an excuse not to at least try and accomplish something with this new life.”

I see, the voice said. There was a tinge of judgement in her tone, but Peter ignored it. Let’s put Mark aside. I’ve run you through the basics of your new life. Do you have any questions for me?

“So many questions.”

Please try and keep it succinct.

What was the most important thing to ask? Peter had never been one for videogames, but it sounded like his lack of knowledge was going to be a real disadvantage in this place. That was probably the place to start.

“So, all this game stuff?” he said. “Are there going to be menus floating around in the air or something? That seems distracting.”

The way you interact with Arenia will, to some degree, be reflective of your own preferences. What works for one person may not work for another. I encourage you to simply explore once you arrive.

That seemed fair enough. Although given Peter’s level of experience, that was going to be a lot of exploration.

“And you say that I might just show up by myself in the middle of nowhere?” he said. “I realize I look like a pretty rough guy, but I’m not exactly the woodsy type. I can raise crops, yeah, but I wasn’t a big camper.”

Most Earthlings who come to Arenia aren’t. Then again, they generally arrive in a city, so we’ve given you some equipment to help you survive the trip to Palmyre. I’m sorry we can’t do more.

Peter resisted the urge to groan. Quite the Thanksgiving this was turning out to be. “Okay, that was question one out of ten thousand. Number two is—”

Hold on for a moment…

Yes! Peter, if you go right now, I think we can put you down near your wife, but it has to be right now. I have a legal contract you need to sign, and I’m supposed to recommend you read it first, but that will take a very long time, so—

“Give it to me,” Peter said without hesitation. An enormous legal document appeared—like someone had printed out the entire works of Leo Tolstoy—but Peter wasted no time in flipping to the last page and signing.

Thanks, Peter. And good luck.

Gravity seized hold of Peter and yanked him towards the planet below. His stomach lurched as he sped towards the great blue orb, but he resisted the urge to look directly down. If they were to have any chance of reaching this Palmyre place, he needed to know where it was relative to his arrival point. If he could find a landmark to orient by, it could save him a lot of strife in the long run.

Peter’s eyes skimmed over the landscape. He spotted an ocean in the distance and two rivers that led across a huge forest. To the southeast, there was something… strange? A light emanating from beneath a mountain. Almost geometrical in shape, but it disappeared when he looked directly at it, as though it wasn’t really there.

“What on earth is—”

There was a flash, searing pain, and then unconsciousness.

The universe kept spinning—planet, stars, planet, stars—in an endless panicky loop. Then a voice appeared out of nowhere.

Hello, I am Verna. I have already spoken to some of your fami—

“CLUCKLE!” the turkey shrieked as the voice boomed into its tiny brain.

Oh, for the love of... CARL! What the hell is this? A TURKEY? How did we end up with... No, Earthlings don’t keep turkeys as pets! How can you not know that? Of course, they eat them! They’re poultry! UGH. Well obviously they didn’t want to bring it with them; who wants to be saddled with a turkey you can’t eat? No. No, Carl, I CAN’T send it back because you already put it into the system. Just... just go away. I’ll deal with you later.

The turkey abruptly stopped spinning.

A frigging turkey. Well, we have to follow protocol, I guess.

A patch of dirt appeared under the turkey’s feet, and a sense of gravity settled over it. For the first time, it calmed a little. There was even some corn sitting on a green circle at the bottom of a squiggle-covered rectangle. Instinct took over, and the turkey pecked at the corn, hitting the green circle in the process.

The ground disappeared, and the turkey shot towards the planet, clucking frantically the whole way.