Chapter Forty Eight – The Wrath of a Living World

I cried. I had to become human to do so, and I thought this time for sure I would remember to ask Tyrone or Francis to give my Jellyfae form the ability. It wasn’t right, being forced to become this foreign body to relieve my grief.

One by one they’d all gathered. I could see them all outside on the map of my safe zone. Bellcandy, Zephyr Bird, Akwa, and even Bugbear. Each of them had come for a visit, only to find me shut in my room, bawling into the covers of my bed.

It wasn’t fair.

Somewhere in my heart, I knew that Amy and Iron weren’t lying to me, but even so, if felt like I’d been abandoned. I’d thought I’d accepted this in the past. It had been ages ago that Iron had first told me Amy was dying. I’d been able to accept it then.

Maybe I was just kidding myself though. In reality, I’d just pushed the idea off, unwilling to face it. Death was a temporary thing. On a fundamental level, I considered it a painful inconvenience at worst. Amy leaving me, though? Leaving me forever? That was much worse. That was like…

Being forced back into Dungeon Home. Like slipping back under the iron laws of the instinct, now after I’d finally escaped it.

I felt lonely and scared. Guilty too. I shouldn’t have yelled at her like that. I shouldn’t have run off, but I’d been so mad.

“Gell?” Came a knock on the door. “Gell, are you okay?”

“Go away, Akwa!” I shouted. “I don’t want to talk right now!”

A lie, as sure as any. My freckles glowed a heated reddish-yellow. Shame and embarrassment mixed with anger. Why did the real world have to be so awful? At least here, people came back.

Maybe I’d dropped my care for my kin too soon? Sure they were brainless automatons, but at least they would always be there. How long before I lost Iron too? Bellcandy? Dull–no Zephyr Bird.

Even Akwa…?

Bugbear would always be there, but the invaders wouldn’t. So… why get attached? What was the point? Perhaps A.I. should only interact with other A.I. that way we wouldn’t lose the ones we grew to love.

I’d been so set on making Bugbear like me. Would he go through this too? Would he meet adventurers, grow to love them, and be forced to watch them leave him? This hurt far more than any death I’d suffered.

“Gell, please let me in,” came a softer voice.

Not Akwa. Amy.

“You’re… you’re cruel!” I shouted. “You’re mean and heartless! If you were always going to leave me anyway, then why did you even share your name with me!”

There was a long pause and I buried my face back in the comfy pillow.

“Did you not enjoy spending time with me?” Amy asked quietly. “With all the friends you’ve made?”

I didn’t answer. Of course, I had.

“Of course you did, otherwise you wouldn’t have continued to do so.”

‘Mind reader!’ I thought, eyes widening. How did Amy always know what I was thinking!?

“So… Gell. Isn’t that enough? Gell, have you ever heard someone say, “All good things come to an end?”

I hadn’t, and it sounded awful. Why would all good things come to an end? It only reinforced my opinion that the real world was a horrible, horrible place.

“I always felt that phrase was half-finished,” Amy said. “All good things come to an end, but there is no end to good things. Do you understand?”

Not even a little.

“It means that… while you might not see me anymore, there are always going to be more people for you to meet, and new experiences to have. New things to learn. I… might be gone, but when you think of me, cycles and cycles from now, are you going to remember me dying, or what I did with you while I lived?”

I curled in tighter. Of course, I wouldn’t want to think about her dying.

“Gell… please open the door?” she asked quietly.

I wasn’t sure if I just wanted to be comforted or not, but I opened my transparent interface and unlocked the door. Amy stepped in a relieved look on her face.

“Oh Gell,” she said when she got a look at me.

I glared at her, not wanting her pity. “You’re the one dying! You’re the one who’s never going to be anymore! Why are you comforting me!? How does that make any sense!”

I realized suddenly that by shouting at her, she’d already gotten me to look at her when I’d wanted to just ignore her. I turned and buried my face back in the pillows, unwilling to let her goad me into the conversation again.

She sat down on the bed next to me and laid a gentle hand on my leg. Outside, I heard the rest of my friends talking quietly.

“It makes sense because, no matter how old you look, you’re a young woman who is only just realizing how tough the world can be. Do you think no one else has experienced this? I had a mother once too, you know. She died, oh, thirty-eight years ago now.”

“So long…?” I asked. Wait, had she just implied that she was my…?

My Mother? I’d never thought of her like that before, but looking back, she was exactly what I’d always thought a Mother should be. Everything… Everything Momma Bossbear wasn’t.

Did I consider her my mother?

Yes. I guessed I did. That only made me more resentful though. Of course, now I realize all that, right as she’s about to die.

“You… that means you had fifty years with your mother. Thousands upon thousands of cycles. Why do I only get so few with you?” I asked.

A tear trailed down Amy’s cheek and I flinched under the weight of her sadness.

“God does things for a reason. Not the false gods. The real God.”

I cocked my head. “Real, God?” I asked.

Amy smiled. “I’m sure you’ll find out about him someday. I believe in him with all my heart, but you’ll meet thousands of people who don’t. You have to decide what you believe, but I’m not going to use what might be our last conversation preaching to you. Ask Francis about him when he gets better though? I’m sure he’ll give you the goofiest and most uncomfortable look you can imagine.”

I giggled and then scowled. She was smiling. How could she be so happy?

I thought about scolding her. Telling her that this was no time for jokes and making fun. What came out instead was, “Are you scared?”

She laughed. Laughed!

“No. No, I’m not, little one. Want to guess why?” she said, conspiratorial.

“Uhm,” I wavered, but she didn’t want an actual answer to that question.

“I’m not scared because I know that you’re going to be fine. You’ll be sad for a while, but you’ll move on. It’s a part of growing up, and you’re a very smart young lady.”

“H-how does that have anything to do with you being scared though? You’re a very smart old lady, but I’m still terrified at the thought of never seeing you again,” I said.

She laughed as if I’d told the greatest joke.

“When you get to be my age, Gell. You’ll find that your fears are less and less for yourself and more and more for the condition you leave your friends and family in when you’re gone. Iron… Derek. He’s going to be a wreck. Don’t you want to be there for him, just like he’ll be there for you?”

“Of course I do,” I said. “But… wouldn’t it be easier if you just didn’t go?”

She put her hand on my back and pulled me gently. I rose and felt her embrace me softly.

“If only I could, Gell. But endings come to everyone, and mine is here,” she said.

“I…it’s just not right. It’s not fair,” I pouted, into her shoulder.

“It isn’t,” she agreed. “Chin up.”

“Huh?” I asked.

She pulled away and looked into my eyes. “Life can be hard for everyone. Harder for you than most. But even if I’m gone you’ll still find plenty of good things in this world. When you do, I hope you remember me and think happier thoughts. I don’t want you to mope around missing me when you could be living, exploring this world, and maybe even mine one day. Do you understand?”

“I… I guess so,” I replied shakily.

We were quiet for a long time.

“I… I’m going to miss you though. Miss you forever,” I said softly.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say forever. Who knows what all is possible under the sun?” she asked with a wide grin.

I looked to the command prompt displaying her user name. Amy Thyst.

“R-right. Who knows?” I asked.

“I’m going to go spend some time with Iron now, Gell. Please, try not to be sad? It’s not what I want, and I’m so sorry I can’t be with you more. But…”

I looked outside the door and saw Iron standing there, waiting patiently. They were in love. Married. They had babies even, and one of them had grown up into a person of her own.

I… shouldn’t be taking the last of their time together.

“O-Okay,” I said softly.

We stood and she hugged me long and hard. I hugged her back like I’d never hugged anyone before.

“I love you, Gell,” she said softly.

“L-love you too,” I breathed. “M-momma.”

She beamed at me. After an eternity, we parted. We didn’t say anything else. Just smiled at one another as she stepped away, going to spend her last cycles with her son and granddaughter.

Amy and Iron teleported away with a sad wave and little fanfare. My heart hurt in my chest. It burned. My mouth dried up. My eyes were wet. And...

“Are you gonna be alright, Gell?” Akwa asked, placing a comforting hand on my back.

“I… don’t know. Is this… losing people? Is it normal for all of you, too?” I asked. Akwa folded me into a big hug. Bellcandy and Zephyr watched and smiled.

“More common than any of us would care for. In our world, people die. It’s just how it is. If Amy is really in her eighties then she lived a pretty full life,” Akwa said.

“That’s… all you get? Eighty years?” I asked.

Bellcandy shrugged, since I was looking at him over Akwa’s shoulder and answered, “Some get more. Many get a lot less. Without being injured or killed by sickness, we adventurers kind of just stop living around eighty or ninety years old. Some make it past a hundred, but not many.”

“So… I’ll lose all of you someday?” I asked, horrified.

“Barring something terrible, not for a long, long time Gell,” Zephyr said.

Bugbear stood staring between each of us trying to understand what was happening. I thought he might be able to catch one word in five or so, but he didn’t really understand. Part of me hoped he’d never have to.

“Ahh!” I screeched suddenly and jumped away from Akwa, betrayed.

Akwa grinned devilishly, hands upraised and ready to pounce. She lunged and began to tickle me, relentlessly before I could dart further away.

I laughed, unwillingly and scrambled away, noticing Bellcandy doing the same to Zephyr. I jumped and transformed into a Jellyfae form and zipped away, laughing as if today were my last day. Akwa, Paladin that she was, could never keep up with me.

“Hey no fair!” she shouted impotently from the ground below.

I beamed, glowing a strange mix of yellow joy and purple sadness that came and went with each passing thought. Melancholy. Yes. That was a good word for it.

As I hovered in the sky, over exaggeratedly calling taunts down to her, warding off the thoughts of my impending loss with abundant playfulness, I wondered what Amy was doing now. Would I know when it happened? When she died in that other world and left both of them forever?

Would I feel it somehow? Maybe.

“H-Hiya, Gell,” came a voice from behind me, which was strange considering how high in the air I was.

I turned, beaming as I saw the text box that was Miss Tutorial. Possibly my oldest friend.

“Hiya, Miss Tutorial,” I said, through a smile that I was sure would’ve been tear-stained, were I in my adventurer form.

“I… want to hug you, too,” she said softly.

I grinned. “W-well. Then, do it!”

The gothic stone box that made up Miss Tutorial’s body curled around me, enveloping my small Jellyfae form in a thin wrapper. For the first time, rather than passing through it, I hit the warm solid stone.

Good things. No end to good things. Maybe… I did understand. Just a little.