Chapter Forty Five – Stealing Things

My heart fell when I realized the problem with my chosen class.

I wanted to become a Druid but to do so, I would need to leave town. I was… spectacularly unwilling to do that without at least a group of people who might protect me. I didn’t know whether I could depend on Amy or Iron for that, since they’d not only brought me to Red Thorn’s attention in the first place, but Amy had even abandoned me right in the middle of a fight with her!

That said… maybe I was being too harsh on them.

Bellcandy and Dull Beauty had both fought for me when they hadn’t needed to, but neither was of Red Thorn’s caliber. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever seen any invader as good as Red Thorn. There had been one group that had simply decimated Dungeon Home early on. They’d all worn the same type of clothing but that didn’t tell me enough to be able to find them.

I wasn’t confident in my ability to find adventurers as strong as Red Thorn. Even a whole group couldn’t beat her, and much as I loved Torchlight for rescuing me, I didn’t think I could always depend on him to get the drop on someone like her. If I wanted to become a Druid, I had to be certain that she wasn’t around when I ventured out of the safety of the city to try and gain the class.

Until then, I’d have to settle with learning one of the professions. Carpenter, Builder, and Amenity Mage all seemed pretty valuable, but since Iron was already a Carpenter, I decided I’d try to become a Builder.

I asked a guard who happily informed me where the Builder’s guild could be found. In fact, he hardly seemed to have anything to say except telling me where things were. Did guards double as guides? It would make sense. They were everywhere after all.

To my delight, upon asking him to point the way, a neon beam seemed appeared in the distance. It was also mimicked by a strange compass that was a part of my invisibile interface. It appeared readily as I focused on it and I realized that it was synced with my map. If I turned, the neon teal pin seems to shuffle away from the front. That way I could always know if I was heading towards where the guard had pointed me.

That was convenient.

I began marching straight down the road in hopes of becoming a builder when something caught my… nose.

A bit of steam was leaking from a round… object that was sitting on a window sill of a building marked, “Nerris Bakery.”

The window was down an alley just a little ways off the main road between the bakery and another building, and there didn’t appear to be anyone down that particular side corridor.

The confection smelled absolutely divine. I practically floated off my determined path and hovered over it longingly. It was just sitting there on the sill along with two others. The sill was long, and it looked like more were going to be placed out there soon.

‘It must be for me!’ I thought enthusiastically. Something about the way it looked told me it would be every bit as delicious as the cherry delight. The smell was… I didn’t know how to describe it. Not like Steak-and-Broccoli. Better. Sweet instead of sumptuous.

I reached up to the high window sill but stopped as a red warning dot flared on my interface. I scowled ignoring the notification and grabbed the pie. The pan was warm to the touch in the same way the torches and Fire Tosser’s spells had been, making me think it might’ve really hurt me if I weren’t a Jellyfae. Huh. Was it trapped? Maybe I shouldn’t have taken it.

I held the round thing down to my chest so I could properly look at it, and the smell immediately quashed any sense of guilt I had. Only then did my knowledge inform me of what it was. A Crisp Apple Pie. Whole. This was meant to be cut like some of Iron’s deserts had been back at the Bridge! I actually remembered them mentioning apple pie at one point or another. They’d… said the pie was mean.

Forget that though.

I looked left, then right. Good, there was no Amy or Iron around to tell me I had to use the stupid food weapons. I grinned and buried my face into the warm pie, and took the most delicious bite of my entire life.

“Hey!” Came a sudden shout from above me. I looked up to see the angry face of a woman staring down at me. “Guards! Thief!”

“Huh?” I said, as she pointed. I looked behind me to see if I could spot a thief then turned back to her. “Me?”

My interface suddenly went red, and this time it was almost like the red of combat. It came with a npc box that read in bold print. “You’ve been suspected of a crime! Escape the guards, or face the consequences of your actions!”

“But… but I!” I shouted, unsure of what was happening. A guard was running at me. I turned, thinking to flee before spotting another guard, the same one I had just asked for directions barrelling towards me with his spear raised.

They wanted a fight, did they? Well, I’d show–!”

“You’ve Been Apprehended!”

‘Wait what?”

My vision faded a little, the world going grey around me as the guards grabbed my immobile body. I floated above the scene of my own capture, bewildered as a new window appeared.

“You’ve been caught for theft. Either pay the fine or serve the time.”

Serve… the time?

There were two options below. One was “Pay the fee (50 Copper)” but it was greyed out. I focused on the option and another small box appeared reading “Insufficient Funds: (13)”

Again Insufficient funds. What the hell were these funds that seemed to be so damn important!

I could do nothing except click the other option. “Go to Jail (10 min RWT)”

I had no idea what min RWT was, and scrolling over the option didn’t explain it. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to choose that or simply sit in this strange limbo forever.

I made my choice and the world faded to black. When I regained control of my body I was sitting inside… inside a fucking cage.

I growled.

There was a guard sitting at a desk nearby and a few other people in cages around me. Everyone in different cages were normally named. NPCs. Slaves to the Instinct. Chastain, the Drunkard, and Daniel, the liar sat in their cells quietly waiting for no reason.

Meanwhile, jammed into the cell with me were three men and two women.

“Whoa! Awesome race unlock! Where’d ya find it?” said a burly man who looked to be quite a bit older than Amy or Iron, but sounded much younger. His peach skin was covered by a beard and mustache that I’d seen on at least ten other adventurers. His name was NyanCatLivesOn.

“What’cha in for, Jellyfae?” came another voice, this one unusually pitched, from an incredibly flamboyant girl who wore more colors than I even knew existed before leaving Dungeon Home. Her name was Flamboyantasf***.

“I… don’t know?” I said confused. “There was an apple pie sitting on a window sill, so I thought it was for anyone. I took it and then guards came after me!”

Flamboyant blinked. Then laughed uproariously. “That’s it? So your time is… what. Ten minutes?

‘Ohhhh. That’s what 10 min meant!’ I realized.

“Yes, I think. But… I really wanted that pie. How do I get one without the guards… uhm… apprehending me?” I asked.

She cocked an eyebrow at me like I was stupid and I flushed, my freckles burning red.

“Uh… you buy it?” She said, her voice doing that thing it did when adventurers sometimes curled both their first two fingers together. “Oh wow, you really wear your emotions on your sleeve with that race, don’t you?”

“Uhm. What do I buy it with though?” I asked.

“Good lord, did you just start playing today? Money of course! You know. Copper, Silver, and Gold?” Flamboyant said. Annoyed at their name I just corrected it to Flamboyant Asf almost as an afterthought, though her tone was making me want to rename her to something dumb like Peacock Doofus. There was no need to be so condescending!

“I’ve only ever seen coppers and they disappeared right when a… a friend gave them to me,” I said, wondering if that was still true.

“Wow, you’re like… completely green aren’t you? Okay, sorry. I thought you were actually screwing with me at first. Are you like… a beta tester for a new race or something?”

I had no idea what to say to that. “Uhm… yes?”

“You… don’t sound very sure,” she said bluntly.

“I’m very much not!” I agreed. “I’m Gell! The Jellyfae! And I want to know how to obtain funds so I can use them to buy pie! Please tell me how?”

She groaned. Nyan Cat seemed to have been holding in laughter this whole time and only just now burst out with it, slapping his knee and slumping onto the bench against the wall.

Weirdo.

“Okay newbie. You get money by selling things. You can sell pretty much anything you collect, buy, or make. Just talk to a weapons, armor, or item seller and you can sell pretty much anything to them except key items. Selling items gets you copper, silver, or gold, depending on how valuable the item is.”

I stared in rapt wonder. Items had specific value? “S-so… my Bugbear Tunic must be worth a fortune!”

I knew for sure, because it was my most valuable treasure. “But… I might be willing to sell my glove though. I can’t sleep in it anymore and it’s… stinky. Okay! Now I just need to go make items and sell them and then I can get a pie!”

I stood up and walked over to the gate.

“Hey! Boland, the Guard!” I called exuberantly. “I’m ready to leave now! Let me out!”

The bored guard’s head lolled over to me and for just a moment I thought he was going to say something snarky and mean. I glared at him and he twitched like the Innkeeper in Bluebell had, before sighing and getting up.

“Alright. Get on out of here. Don’t get caught stealing again, you hear?” He said while opening the door.

“I won’t!” I exclaimed happily, as I almost skipped out of the cell. He led me to an open door and there were the streets of Variak again.

I was about to leave but turned back to look at Flamboyant. “Oh! Thank you so much! I appreciate your help!”

The girl was staring at me in confusion, like she’d just seen something that shouldn’t be. “Uh… yeah. You’re welcome. Hey, if you happen to get twenty silver or so, any chance you could bail me out? I’m here for two more hours if you don’t.”

“Uhm. I’ll try!” I said, wondering what “bailing her out” meant.