“I can’t see them,” Everette says.

You look around but you can’t see any signs of the bandits either. The whole group is on a big hill overlooking part of the forest, a nice vantage point to try and spot the hidden bandit camp. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be working out. Probably because it’s a hidden camp, not a visible camp.

Charlotte narrows her eyes and looks farther out. The girl uncoils her whip from her side, then cracks it upwards where it hooks around one of the nicer branches of one of the trees at the top. With a twist, big teeth stick out of her whip which she uses as a sort of ladder to climb up.

“Am I the only one mildly disturbed by how familiar she’s becoming with that thing?” Daphne asks.

You shake your head. There’s nothing wrong with the love Charlotte is showing for her whip. It’s the best whip, it deserves to be cuddled and cooed after and fed a few little treats.

“Just a little?” Abigail says. “Really, glass houses and all, I can’t exactly make a fuss.” She reaches over and starts patting your head. She must mean that the affection she shows you is similar, of course.

“Nothing!” Charlotte calls down. “The view is pretty though.”

“We might have to call this one a failure,” Everette says. “We only have a few hours until we have to trek back. If we don’t find the bandits soon then we won’t have time to do much about them.”

“I thought this was a scouting mission?” Daphne asks archly.

“It is, but, well, we have Dreamer. I thought the pay might be better if we ah, took care of the problem, as it were. You know, violence them up a bit.”

You harrumph. He thinks that just because you’re along you’ll do violent stuff? To help him? You only do violent stuff for yourself and Abigail. Maybe Charlotte and Daphne if they ask really nicely and offer you some hugs and food.

“I think capturing them would be better,” Abigail says. “If we can do that much.”

You consider that. Capturing isn’t nearly as fun as eating, but you have been eating a whole lot lately. Maybe skipping a meal or two wouldn’t be too bad if it’s what Abigail wants. “I can go look for them,” you say.

Abigail shakes her head. “I don’t want you to leave my side. What if something tries to hurt us?”

You smile and pull Abigail into a surprise hug, one that she deserves for being such a clever summoner and for thinking about her own safety like that. “Don’t worry,” you say. “I can be here and also elsewhere and also elsewhen at the same time. But we only need me to be all over for now.”

“Um, what?” Daphne says.

“Look.” You gesture to the ground where--with a bit of a rumble--a tentacle the size of your small body pokes out of the ground. Then it shifts and warps, bits pulling in with squelchy noises and other parts poking out like extra tentacles. In moment’s there’s a new you standing there, all naked and glassy-eyed. Then you give it one of your pretty dresses and no one who doesn’t know you would know that it’s not your main small body.

“My name is Dreamer and I’m hungry,” the new you says. It turns its head to Everette and frowns. “Are you Abigail?”

“No,” he says before taking a step back.

New-you frowns harder. “Are you food?”

You shake you main-you’s head. “I can’t split it without losing some control,” you explain. “But it’s still me. Now I just need to make enough to find all the bandits...”

Dozens, then hundreds of tentacles break out of the ground all over the hill and soon there are Dreamers all over the place. You, of course, keep on hugging Abigail so that she knows which Dreamer is the best Dreamer and where to direct any patting that she might want to do.

It’s not like patting the other yous would be bad, it would still be a pat for you, but not for you-you, which is why you need to defend Abigail from yourself.

“So,” Daphne says, sounding sort of faint. “This is how the world ends.”

“Abigail, you need to tell the stupid mes to go find the bandits,” I tell Abigail.

She opens and closes her mouth a few times. “Can you, ah, take them all back after?” she asks.

“Yeah, probably. Now hurry up, I’m all hungry.”

“Right,” Abigail says. “Um, everyone, uh, Dreamer!” she says, voice rising until every Dreamer around is looking at her. You all begin to smile because Abigail is paying you all attention. Everette starts saying bad words under his breath. “Right. We need to find the bandits. Can you do that?” she asks.

“Do we get pats?” one of you asks.

The impertinence!

“Um. The one who finds the bandits gets pats, yes,” Abigail says.

Nearly a thousand Dreamers scamper away, a sea of pretty purple dresses disappearing into the woods with tentacle-swings that send them from tree to tree.

Soon you can’t see a single Dreamer where you are atop the hill. It becomes nice and quiet and peaceful.

“What was that?” Evertte says because he can’t read the mood. “I, I was willing to overlook a lot, but that wasn’t something a familiar should be able to do. That wasn’t... that wasn’t natural!”

Charlotte swings down from the tree and lands next to the girls before crossing her arms. “Shut up Everette. Dreamer hasn’t hurt anyone. At least, no one that didn’t deserve it.”

“But she, she’s... what is she?” he asks.

“I’m me,” you tell him, your own glare forming. “And you’re you, which makes me way better, so stop judging.”

“Dreamer’s a good girl,” Abigail says. “Please don’t do anything to make trouble.”

You preen at Everette. Now he can’t deny that you’re the best because Abigail said so.

You’ll have to rub it into the faces of all the other yous out there.