A pattern quickly developed as guards rotated in and out of my office. While I was alone, my headache would subside, and the emotions I was suppressing would resurface, but I could deal with them. While interviewing a guard, they would remain suppressed as I acted like a professional. Though they would slam inside my mind demanding my attention. The more I ignored my suffering, the worse it would become. It only took a few repetitions before I realized what caused the emotional conflict. In my defense, with the pain, it was all I could do to maintain my professional demeanor, let alone think through the cause.

Eventually, I worked it out. [Meditation] evolved from [Self Awareness], a skill that revolved around self-perception and control. [Acting] was about presenting a false depiction of myself. The two skills were in direct conflict. While [Meditation] muted my emotions, they were still my emotions. Then I would try to use [Acting] to project a sense of calm, unflappable professionalism, mirroring the mien of some of the bankers I’ve worked with. The best of [Acting] was shifting your emotions to be something else, the best of [Meditation] was understanding your self and the way you were. The two didn’t mix well.

I should have expected the interviews to be quick. I hadn’t considered fully what it meant to be working with those of a lower economic class. The guards were almost universally those who had survived a previous battle season. They were mostly from peasant stock. Third and fourth sons, orphans, those without a trade, and so on. There were a few exceptions, two of the privates were in their position because of family ties and had gear that made it more likely they would survive. Unfortunately, what this meant was a great deal more fear and uncertainty over what I could do and how I would do it.

The final interview for the day, private Stone, nearly attacked me the moment I suggested he share his Skill list. He then made it very clear he wouldn’t even be describing his Skills to me, let alone giving me permissions. After that discussion, and my attempts to remain calm and controlled during it, I could taste copper in the back of my mouth as my nose started to drip crimson. Luckily for me, the sudden nose bleed, and the crawling black tunnel of my vision came as the Private left. This gave me time to wipe my face clean and try to regain my actual calm instead of just my professional appearance.

Despite the difficulties, I had more willing to accept my training than I would have thought likely if given time to think about it. Three of the Privates were willing to share their Skill list directly. Why they were willing soon became evident. Each of them had a single combat-oriented Skill, and none of them were impressive. Two had [Vicious Slice], and the other had [Disruptive Blow]. They were Skills with a long build-up, physically demanding, and near useless in a line of pikes. They had some use when trying to clear away monsters in the forest or mountains, but that was the least dangerous part of the battle season. Most commanders looked to the monster clearings as a quick way to blood their soldiers and winnow away the worthless.

Most of those who gained [Disruptive Blow] focused on the Skill’s namesake, namely that it was useful to stun the target.

Disruptive Blow - Tier 1: 3

A decisive strike from a blunt weapon designed to stun the target.

Passive Effect:

Lesser: Reduced stamina usage when attacking with a blunt weapon.

Active Trigger Effect:

Lesser: Increased chance to stun on attack.

Lesser: Stamina usage increases per activation.

Minor: Increased chance to break an opponent’s stance.

The real tragedy was the missed training opportunity. Each time [Disruptive Blow] was used within a short period, the next activation would take more stamina. This ‘penalty’ was actually the best part of the Skill. With only a few swings of a hammer, even a small one, Private Potter could have been reducing himself to a quivering mass of exhaustion.

Safely.

Multiple Skills focused on recovering from exhaustion quickly, Skills that reduced stamina usage, and Skills that allowed someone to work from sunrise to sunset and beyond. Most were difficult to get without worrying yourself to the bone through grueling training. Even fewer could be gained without some kind of injury along the way. With [Disruptive Blow], Potter could do a typical day’s work. Then layout on his bunk, and wack at a plate with a small hammer a few times until he thoroughly exhausted himself into sleep. It wouldn’t be pleasant - rigorous training rarely was - but the Skills he could gain might save his life.

If I could figure out how to safely reproduce the Skill, I would aim for it myself. The real difficulty was that it usually required a ‘do-or-die’ moment. Most described a fight where they used a blunt weapon to stun someone to keep themselves from being killed. Rare, but it happened often enough in a melee, but not safe to try for intentionally.

[Vicious Slice] was a similar skill, but the stamina usage remained the same on each attack. The advantage was that it could be used with a halberd, the preferred weapon of the guards. The Skills were low in level across all three guards, which left me wondering how often the guards trained. I knew they were required to practice, but didn’t they train their Skills as well? That seemed short-sighted to me. Then again, Skill training was often specialized and challenging. It wasn’t just a matter of repeatedly using the Skill over and over again. You had to learn how it worked, where the edges of the Skill were, how it could fail, and tricks to use it to the fullest. That took dedication, time, and often specialized knowledge. That might interrupt time at the pub.

My snark aside, I expected that once Skill increases started rolling in for those I trained, other guards would join in. The first time someone gained a new Skill, especially one that could save their life, I would be flooded with trainees.

My musing was interrupted by a servant delivering a message that Snowy wanted to meet me in the training yard. The servant directed me through the fortress since I was unfamiliar with the building's layout. Once the servant left, I knew why I had never been here before. It was less of a training ‘yard’ and more of a training room. It was without a roof, but all four walls had overhangs which protected the walls and the gear hanging on them from the elements. Half of the room was covered in a thick and well-maintained grass, while the other half was filled with fine sand. I couldn’t imagine the cost of transporting the fine pure white sand that filled half the room, but it could not have been cheap. I doubted that anyone but the Baron and his Elites would be allowed to use this training area.

Snowy was standing in the middle of the sands in a leather sparring outfit. I was impressed by the way the full leather gear showed off her figure, but I shouldn’t have been. She was physically fit, so she would have a pleasing form. I just had only really seen her in thickly padded training gear, warm hiking gear, and blocky full plate. This more form-fitting and less padded training gear suited her.

I tried not to stare at her figure while I moved to the wooden cabinets at the side of the room. Cabinets where I could see training gear hanging. While I approached, Snowy smiled and held her long training sword and shield out to the side, silently mocking me and demanding I take to the sands against her.

Pulling free a leather skull cap, a padded jerkin, and two short wooden swords, I began to strap on my equipment. With Snowy’s size, strength, and reach, dual shortswords vs. her longsword and shield would be punishing training. But I was eager to see how I could use my [Meditation] when it wasn’t stabbing into my eyes from conflicts with [Acting].

“So, how goes the training?” Snowy asked while she stretched and swung her oversized sword from side to side.

I yanked a strap on the chest of the jerkin, which tightened it, though it was still at least a size too large. I would have to commission better gear for my own use, though it was yet one more thing on the list and far down it.

“I’ve interviewed the men. I’m honestly surprised with the positive results so far,” I said, then began to swing my arms back and forth, stretching out my chest, my words cut short with the large movements. Once my chest muscles were opened up, I began a light, twisting motion and continued.

“Once the first of them get a resistance skill, I should get more wanting help. Though I know, the moment one of them gets [Cold Resistance], the next will get one of the active resistance Skills. It will be annoying to help them get the passive version,” I said with a shake of my head.

Snowy paused her stretching at that.

“I thought having one Skill made it easier to get a related Skill?”

I hopped into the air a couple times, trying to touch my knees to my chest, then stopped and thought about how to explain the difference.

“It’s like when you push a wheelbarrow on the road, and the wheel falls into a rut. If the rut is going the way you are, it’s not a big deal, but it’s slightly harder to get out and into a parallel rut,” I said while gesturing with my sword to which Snowy gave me an off-center smile, though she did nod for me to continue.

“So, you can get into one of these parallel ruts, and it works. But, when you reach a road crossing, there might be all kinds of ruts, and some of them are going in totally different directions. Then they just sort of act like holes in the road and don’t really help at all. These are like that,” I said, the analogy one I had considered but never tried to articulate before.

“That’s a horrible explanation,” Snowy said as she stood at ready in the middle of the sands.

“Well, an active resistance Skill means you have to try and resist, a passive Skill means you need to ignore the discomfort. Once you have a way to avoid the suffering, it’s hard not to use it. That’s the problem,” I said, then closed my eyes and tried to grab onto the state of [Meditation] that I dropped somewhere without notice.

Once I could feel my thoughts slipping into their new rhythm, I stepped onto the sands. The white grains slithered across my feet, sounding like a gentle wind. The powder was broken up with footsteps leading to Mason, who was relaxed in the corner watching. Suddenly noticing the old man in stealth, I paused, but my hesitation was only for a moment before I put him out of my mind. I needed to stay focused on Snowy if I planned to train with her. Even if she wouldn’t intentionally hurt me, with the disparity of size and strength, this could go very wrong very quickly if I lost focus.

Holding my left sword forward and up in a leading position and my right sword into a dropped defensive position, I stepped forward, keeping my weight balanced. A side stance was the traditional answer when dealing with a strong attack, but with dual swords and her with a shield, it would provide no advantage. My left arm was weaker, but I was leading with it to see if switching it later could be used as a surprise. I doubted Snowy would fall for it, but I would take any advantage I could get.

I held my breath for a moment, flicked my eyes along my opponent’s body looking for anything out of balance that I could use, then charged.