《Madness, with a pinch of salt》Chapter 40: Nobility
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If somebody in her past world had told her, that one fine day she would be walking inside a magnificient crystal palace, wearing glittery dress and Cinderella shoes, Joe would have smacked them upside the head and accused them of watching too many afternoon dramas. But afternoon dramas are tamer, and they do not require you to march towards your potential murderer for the purpose of matchmaking, in any case.
Joe felt like she was walking towards a guillotine.
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” The root cause of all this drama, a love-struck Joanna Valeria Winsten chirped inside her head. “It’s not like he is going kill you at first sight. Prince Emmanuel is so much matured than that!”
The girl pointedly ignored the voice in her head. Joe had long since realized that the villainess lost nearly half of her usefulness and all of her sanity whenever the second prince was concerned. This was the part which may potentially alter the course of the entire story, and Joe could already foresee ten different ways she would screw up everything she’s planned so far.
The difficulty was cranked up waaay high.
A bald, muscled man with bushy eyebrows led Joe inside the royal garden, past the humongous golden gates that stood over twenty feet tall. Today she was accompanied by Perry, who was walking at a perfectly appropriate distance behind her, and did not speak unless spoken to. Joe was almost tempted to start an idle chatter, but Perry wasn’t exactly the best person for small talk. Nero and Kimbley had opted to stay back at the entranceway and wait for their return.
It might have been her imagination, but Joe felt a sudden inkling of hostility directed towards her.
The girl frowned. There was no mistake— it felt as if she was being watched from the shadows, as if someone was waiting with bated breath for her to commit a single mistake. It was most ridiculous— she hadn’t even done anything that bad to earn such hostiliy, dammit! But the feeling disappeared as soon as it had come, leaving the girl bewildered.
Was it her imagination after all?
“Do not worry, milady.” Nero had whispered to her ears before they’d left the carriage, albeit not very reassuringly. “The royal palace of Triciella has the highest security in the entire kingdom. No outsider could possible walk in through these gates and cause trouble in broad daylight!”
‘But what do I do about the troublesome ones living inside?!’ Joe wanted to whine.
As if sensing these thoughts, Nero graced her with a tiny wink.
The audacity of this man….!
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The royal garden of the Triciellan royal palace indeed lived up to its name. Joe saw rows upon rows of flowering trees and exotic plants swaying in the wind. There was a pleasant fruity smell in the air, as if spring had arrived in the middle of September. The garden was neatly trimmed, properly weeded, and looked like one of those picturesque places that existed only in postcards.
The Winsten rose garden could never hold a candle to this.
The girl gazed around the garden in wonder. Small clusters of pretty camellias, chrysanthemums, and hydrangeas peppered all corners of the garden. There was a row of apple trees on her left, and a row of cherries to the right. Further away, Joe spied a net of morning glories twining around a silver pillar and fluttering gracefully against the autumn breeze.
She felt an involuntary twitch in her eyes. What a wondrous, enviable place to live in, dammit!
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There was a strange flower at one of the farthest corners of garden. Joe had never seen anything like it before. Its petals were sparkling silver and gold— like the famous pixie roses, and the flower itself was a smooth, milky white. Almost transparent. Ethereal.
Most curious!
“Excuse me.” Joe called her bushy-browed escort pleasantly. “Can you please tell me the name of that sparkling white flower over there?”
No response.
Joe frowned, and increased her pace to walk by his side. Bushy-eyebrows kept walking on ahead as if he hadn’t even heard her. “Err, excuse me, Sir?”
“I don’t know.” Came a stiff reply. For a split second, Joe thought that he’d glanced in her direction. The man marched on with military precision, his jaw set and shoulders squared. Distrust rolled off him in waves.
Joe was thoroughly confused. What was wrong with this man?! She was about to call out to him once again, but bushy-eyebrows stopped in his tracks abruptly.
“We’re here.”
Where?!
Her escort gave no further directions. Joe heard him mutter something under his breath; it sounded suspiciously like, “Damned nobles!” Before she could get another word in, the man shot her an intense glare, spun on his heels, and marched off in the opposite way.
Joe’s own eyebrows were this close to disappearing into her hairline.
She did not know that man, and she most certainly did not know what crawled up his ass and died, but Joe silently hoped that she wouldn’t have to see him again.
---------------------------------------------------
At a distance, right beside a pretty spring fountain, was a group of young noble ladies huddled together around a tall, male figure. Their puffy gowns sparkled with gems and silk ribbons, looking like a cluster of colourful mushrooms growing in the middle of the garden. Joe could hear their excited voices all the way from her spot.
She recognized the taller figure right away. It was hard not to, when she had seen that exact scene, in the exact pattern, back there in the Central Library of Triciella.
It was the crown prince, Lord Alastair Julian von Grayford.
Joe did not envy his position. It seemed that his highness was forever doomed to be chased by his fangirls to the ends of the world.
“I am looking forward to this year’s winter ball, your highness.” A young brunette began, fanning herself with a purple paper fan. She was trying to lean into the prince’s personal space as much as humanly possible. “The stars have blessed this year as the year of Garnet. Oh, my social debut is going to be so magnificent, don’t you think?”
“How boorish!” Another young woman, possibly no older than fifteen, pushed the brunette out of the way. “You may save those claims until after you have at least improved your sense of fashion, Lady Lynette. Those dowdy gowns you wear are so not chic! Just looking at them makes me feel old!”
“Lady Penelope!” Lynette cried, aghast.
Prince Alastair opened his mouth as if to say something, but another noble lady pounced into the catfight. “If we are talking of social debuts, mine was held in the year of Diamonds!” She shyly turned to the Prince with her pretty green eyes, blushing profusely. “I do remember that His Highness had honoured me with my first dance at the ball, and oh! That evening was simply delightful!”
Lynette, Penelope, and the other noble ladies complained indignantly, squawking over each others’ voices like a group of squabbling geese. Joe could only watch the scene in horror, suddenly very glad that she had not born into the Triciellan royalty.
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The crown prince released a tired sigh, as if he was being robbed out of ten years of his life. He glanced around the garden, as if looking for something, and then abruptly turned towards her direction.
Ack!
Before she could think better of it, Joe quickly ducked her head and crouched down behind the thick bushes. The feminine chatters had not ceased, which meant that none of the noble ladies had seen her yet. Joe could almost feel Prince Alastair’s suspicious gaze from across the fountain.
This was bad… This was super bad!
Joe had no idea what she hoped to accomplish by hiding from the first prince in his own royal garden, but it was infinitely better than having to face the man in question. She had no desire to interact with anyone of the royal family unless absolutely necessary, and her current necessities were only limited to the unpredictable second prince, Emmanuel Grayford.
“Milady Joanna?” Perry furrowed her brows, clearly giving her a ‘I-did-not-sign-up-for-this-idiocy’ look with her expressionless eyes. “What are you doing down there?”
Joe tried to shush the maid with a frantic look, lest Prince Alastair accidentally heard her name and came snooping around. He was still looking around agitatedly, but unbeknownst to Joe and the gaggle of giggling girls, he was actually looking for an escape route. Today was a nice day, and Alastair wanted nothing more than a nice shopping trip with his best friend Claudius, spending the entire afternoon looking at pretty clothes. Unfortunately, his disguise had failed spectacularly, and he did not take into account the group of eager noble ladies waiting in the royal garden for a chance to pounce upon him with their usual fervour.
His mother calls it socializing, but the boy had privately dubbed it as ‘murdering with gossip.’
For a wild moment, the prince thought he had heard a ‘Joanna’ somewhere in the vicinity.
He froze instantly.
If the young Winsten Lady were indeed here, there would be no escape. The Winstens were a prominent High Noble family. If Joanna Winsten decided to waltz in here at this very moment, Alastair cannot just ignore her and go on his own merry way. The resulting pleasantries will undoubtedly, inevitably snowball into an afternoon of silly formalities and dull conversations.
Alastair was already shuddering at the thought.
“Please excuse me, ladies.” Alastair donned his Crown Prince persona, his expression as smooth as marble. He could no longer afford to dawdle in the garden. “As happy I am with your company, I am afraid that I must take my leave now. I have— ah, some important duties to attend to.”
“But your Highness!” The pretty lady with green eyes, Lady Esmeralda, whined with her nasal voice. “We thought that you were free to have tea with us this morning! Lord Claudius had informed us that you had no important work today!”
Alastair felt his left eye twitch. That colossal arsehole! That slimy snitch! See if Alastair invites him for shopping ever again!
“Don’t believe what Claudius says.” He turned his back to the displeased ladies. “As the Crown Prince, no days are ‘off’ days for me. The responsibilities of a prince never end.”
The ladies squealed in various degrees of admiration. Alastair thought what he said was very cool, and hastily excused himself from the group. He ducked his head and quickly walked back into the main palace, without looking back.
It seemed as if his little shopping trip would have to wait.
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Meanwhile, a very disgruntled (and nervous) Joanna Stuart was making a beeline for the opposite direction— right through the bushes. She had ducked behind the said bushes to hide from Prince Alastair, and now she was simply stuck there. The other noble ladies, suddenly much unoccupied and irritated with the Prince’s hasty withdrawal, were walking around the garden aimlessly. It would be really disastrous, if Joe suddenly decided to pop out from the bushes in all her rumpled glory, smack in front of one of these agitated ladies.
Hell, the ladies might end up mistaking her as an intruder and bash her head into the ground with their parasols.
So Joe had no choice but to slowly crawl in the opposite direction, away from the ladies. She was trying not to think about the sorry state of her expensive dress— it was bought with the Winsten money after all. Perry had almost looked like she was seriously considering pulling up her own skirt and start crawling behind her mistress, but Joe managed to stop her with some difficulty.
“Please wait for me there, beside the spring fountain.” Joe had whispered to the maid. “I will find you when I get back, Perry.”
Perry looked as if she wanted to argue, but finally settled for a nod.
-------------------------------------------
For a good few minutes, the dense bushes seemed like a very appealing alternative to Joe.
They were medium-sized, neatly trimmed, and made for a fairly comfortable path for avoiding the members of nobility, if one was willing to crawl on their hands and knees. Of course, Joe had no qualms about it. She kept her head down and stealthily slunk along the dirt like a thief, occasionally keeping an eye for wayward noble ladies and the palace staff.
The hidden road remained uninterrupted and safe for most part, until Joe’s pointlessly long hair got tangled up with a thorny branch and brought her scuttle to a halt.
Damnit!
Joe winced in agony; the elaborate hairdo was getting messier by the minute and she couldn’t even untangle it herself. This wasn’t going to be easy, damn it all! She reached back and tried to wrench the hairpins out of the way, but only succeeded in stabbing her fingers with the pointy edges.
Damnit! Damnit! Damnit all!
A crackle in the quiet stopped the girl in her struggle.
There was a rustle of leaves, a tiny snap of twig, followed by the soft patter of footsteps somewhere behind her. Joe wanted to twist around and run for her life, but the prickly branches would have none of it. Her blind struggle must have made things worse, because her hair was now stuck to the branches in a messier tangle.
The ‘Goddesses’ of this world must looove getting her into trouble, eh?
The bushes parted and a boyish face peeked out of them, staring into her eyes. Joe stared right back, red-faced and little a bewildered.
Who?!
The new face grinned slightly, before pulling the rest of his body through the brambles.
It was a slender boy— a teenager. Probably no older than fifteen.
Now this was awkward. How do you explain yourself crawling about in the Royal Garden like a creep?
“I— ” Joe began, trying to scramble up on her feet. Her hair pulled back painfully, still stuck around the branches like stubborn vines. “Ouch! Fucking hell!”
The boy raised a delicate eyebrow.
Joe swore, tried to rearrange her facial muscles into a polite smile, and then swore again. There was a smoky smell in the air, and Joe could bet all of her remaining shred of dignity that it hadn’t been there a minute ago. Was something burning nearby?
Oh, whatever.
There were more pressing matters at hand.
“Do you need help, Lady?” The teenager asked curiously, as he watched Joe attempt yet another futile struggle with her hair. The wavy, ebony locks had entangled themselves with the branches as if they were a match made in heaven. Joe tried another experimental yank, and then promptly gave up.
She was beginning to regret leaving Perry behind.
“You have a pair of scissors with you?” Joe muttered dryly, half joking.
To her surprise, the boy indeed pulled out a pair of scissors from somewhere in his shirt. He laughed at her bewildered expression, green eyes crinkling amusedly. Joe took this moment to take a closer look at the stranger. The boy did not seem like a noble. His face was slightly angular, and hair red as flaming fire, framing around his face handsomely.
Oof! This one is going to break a lot of hearts when he grows older!
Joe gestured helplessly at the stubborn mess behind her. “My hair’s stuck, as you can see. Can you please cut it through the branches? Careful though, these hairpins are pretty sharp.”
“Hmm.” Red-head leaned in to inspect the tangle, before shifting his curious stare to her rumpled clothes and dirt covered hands. “How much?”
“Eh?”
“How much should I cut?”
What a strange question. No, Joe frowned. Actually… what a nice question. Why hadn’t she thought about it before? She could have gotten rid of this pointlessly long trail of hair much sooner. She could have sported a nice wavy bob instead of this messy annoyance.
“Joe, you shitty arsehole!” Lady Joanna yelled. Her vocabulary was getting more colourful by the day. Joe was secretly proud.“Leave my hair alone!”
‘You really want me to stay stuck in here for God knows how long?’
Lady Joanna glared in muted anger. “It’s your fault in the first place, you peasant!”
Back to petty insults, I see. Joe tried for a juicier bait. ‘Your darling Prince Emmanuel is waiting. He might get bored and leave, y’know?’ And then she went for the kill. ‘There’s no way I can fix this hair all alone. You want your darling Prince to see you in this crow’s nest of a hair?’
“That’s not — ! I mean— ! Arrrrrgh!!”
Red-head boy stood politely at an arm’s length. “Miss?”
Joe turned to him with a beatific smile. Her fuse was slightly short today. “Cut it all the way down, please?”
Besides, anything that long was only going to get in the way.
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When Joe walked out of the bushes, her once long hair was now swishing around the neck. It was a nice feeling; she’d always found long hair incredibly annoying to deal with. Noble Lady or not, there wasn’t enough luxury in this world to convince her to keep up with that annoyance, on the top of everything else. Besides, those ‘dowdy’ noble ladies needed a healthy dose of trendy revolutions every now and then.
Red-headed boy led her to a small clearing, a lazy spring in his steps. The smell of smoke was getting stronger by the minute, and so was Joe’s suspicion. Then there was the matter of the second prince Emmanuel. Truthfully, the responsible part of Joe had intended to meet up with the Prince and settle it ASAP. But the irresponsible part kept digging out excuses to delay the inevitable.
“Stop running around in circles, you idjit!” Lady Joanna was still fuming from the loss of her beloved hair. “Do you think you can get away from an invitation extended by the Royal family?!”
Joe sullenly noted that she had a point. ‘Hey, I came all the way to the palace, didn’t I?’
“Well, you need to get your act together.” A dainty sniffle. “Oh, I can’t believe that I kept Prince Emmanuel waiting!”
Joe tried to ignore the villainess, but her stomach was churning in nervousness. She tapped her red-headed saviour on his shoulder.
“Erm, thank you for all your help. But I need to go now.”
“Not yet.” Came the cheerful reply.
They had arrived at the spot where the burning smell was the strongest. Joe saw several skewers half buried into the ground, arranged in a small circle, and a young girl standing leisurely in the middle of it all.
“What kind of ritual is this?” Was the first thing that came out of Joe’s mouth.
The young girl whirled around. “Oh! You’re back?” She asked pleasantly, skipping forward to meet the red-headed boy, as if she hadn’t seen Joe at all. “I was beginning to think that you’d gotten bored and escaped, fu fu fu!”
“As if I can ever escape from you…” The boy gave a lopsided grin, patting the girl on her head.
Joe cleared her throat loudly.
This time, the girl slowly turned her head.
She was a petite blonde, blue eyes shining in amusement and curiosity. Joe noted that she wasn’t very pretty, but there was a very neat and dignified aura about her. It was a very familiar feeling, but Joe couldn’t remember why it was familiar in the first place.
“Good Morning.” She nodded at her politely. “Erm… what are you doing?”
“I found her behind the row of lilacs.” Red-head said, by the way of an explanation. “She was… snooping around… I think.”
“I wasn’t snooping!” Joe waved her hands in vehement denial, at the same time the other girl gasped delightedly, “Really? How wonderful!”
Joe and the red-head both turned to her with a strange look.
The girl graced them with a dainty giggle. Then she picked up a skewer from the ground, and Joe finally realized what it was.
“I am roasting sweet potatoes, dear lady.” The girl said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “The weather is perfect for it, see?”
Joe supposed that she couldn’t quite see, but the fresh, smoky chunks skewed up in the skewer looked kind of delicious. She wanted to comment that there was no fire nearby, but the other girl merely shushed her with a delicate finger pressed to the lips. There was a shiny substance glistening in her palm.
“Just watch.”
And then the girl’s fingers promptly caught fire.
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