My grandfather will not make it. As of today, it has been a week since he was admitted to the hospital, and today we received news that he’s not going to get through this. He’ll survive a few more days at most.

I thought it was likely that he might not make it, but I was really holding on to hope that he would get through this. I was thinking that he was really strong, and maybe he would pull through somehow. I was trying to go through everything with the idea that he was just staying in the hospital for a bit and that he would be leaving it soon.

He has been a big part of my life. He will be greatly missed. When I was young, he was always happy to spend time with me while I was a kid. He played a big role in the person I turned into. He has had Alzheimer’s for the past year, and so lately he hasn’t recognized me. I thought I was more prepared for him passing away than this. Mentally, he hasn’t been fully present for a long time, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt as much when he finally went.

It really hurts. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I can’t think straight right now. I’ll see everyone in April or something when I can think again.