Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Two - Chivalry Isn't Dead

The second archivist we met was a whole lot more friendly than the first. A bit too friendly, maybe?

Not that I believed that someone could be too friendly, but they were... nervously friendly. Like they knew they might get into trouble if they didn’t act nice, so any niceness they did have didn’t feel quite as genuine as it could be. It reminded me a bit of talking to a salesperson in a store. The smiles weren’t fake, but they weren’t entirely real either.

“Proportion Distortion,” the archivist said as they walked through the stacks, their eyes roaming over the bindings of the books above them. The shelves were quite a bit taller than I was used to, but then again, the sylph could fly, so it made sense they’d build without worrying about height. “Ah.” They reached up and tugged a book out from a high shelf and then opened it on the spot, pages flipping by as they skimmed through the tome. “Yes, this is it.”

We returned to a quieter table in a corner of the library illuminated by a magical, flame-less lamp, and one of those tall slit-windows. Caprica, Amaryllis and I squeezed in around the table while the archivist laid the book down in front of us.

“This section right over here, Captain,” they said, a finger tapping at the page they’d opened to. “This is an older text, it hasn’t been reformatted to the current standard. I can explain some of it, if you wish.”

I leaned forwards to read.

“Proportion Distortion. A skill thus far associated with a few rare stealth, infiltration, and entertainment classes. At the lower ranks (Novice to Apprentice) the skill seems to lend a certain amount of flexibility to the user. This flexibility mostly functions when the skill holder is attempting to enter a small location or pass through a small obstruction.

This skill tends to be notably less useful than a skill like Enhanced Flexibility, especially as the conditions to trigger it are more specific.

Uniquely, the skill has a social component, assisting the user in appearing to be part of any group they are attempting to join or infiltrate or entertain. This is difficult to assess and test, but it is a noted, if minor, advantage of the skill, and may be why more assassination-inclined classes have access to it.

At higher ranks (Disciple and above) the skill allows the user to enlarge or reduce themselves in sizer. The user’s weight remains constant, but they literally become larger or smaller at the expense of a constant drain of magical energy. Useful for infiltration, and an ability that can be used in combat to some effect.

“Whoa,” I said. That sounded really neat. I could do without the whole assassination stuff, but the... I guess it was a buff to social stuff was nice, and being able to make myself bigger or smaller sounded super neat.

“That’s such a Broccoli skill,” Amaryllis said.

“Well, it’s from one of my classes,” I said.

“I meant more in the sense that it looks like a waste of a skill, but I’m certain you’ll find a way to use it to its full potential,” Amaryllis said.

I grinned over at her. “I can try,” I said. Reaching down, I turned the page, but there didn’t seem to be anything more about the skill except for a long list of what I guessed were references. “Huh, there’s nothing on how to train the skill.”

Caprica reached up and cupped her cheek, an elbow on the table. “Usually that comes from using the skill. Though in this case I can see how it would be a difficult skill to practice.”

I nodded. “Well, I can always try squeezing into small places, that doesn’t sound too hard.”

Proportion Distortion E - 29%

The skill had already gotten a bit of experience, though rank E was usually very easy to fill up. I guessed that it was more the social aspect of the skill that was getting me that experience. I couldn’t recall squishing into anything, except maybe for a few shorter sylph-made doorways.

“If I may,” the archivist said. “You might consider practicing in some dungeons that are known for having confined, tight spaces. It’s been noted that training in a situation where the person is challenged tends to produce much greater results.”

“Broccoli’s levelling speed is genuinely incredible,” Amaryllis said. “She went from basically nothing to catching up to me in little over two months. I blame her lack of self-preservation.”

“Hey now!” I said.

Amaryllis huffed a sort of ‘I’m just tugging your tail’ kind of huff.

“Are there any other skills that you have questions about?” the Archivist asked.

"Well ..." I trailed off.

The archivist gave me a smile that was clearly trying to be encouraging.

""Uh... since we’re here and you don’t seem to mind answering, I...” I paused, glancing at Amaryllis, but she merely looked perplexed, so I turned back to the Archivist and took a deep breath. “This is embarrassing, but do you know of any good skills that can combine with Adorable to get rid of it. Please?”

I noticed one of Caprica’s eyebrows rising, but she didn’t comment, which was great. My cheeks felt warm just from admitting I had that no-good skill.

“On the topic of unfortunate skills,” Amaryllis added. “I have, of all things, Huffing.” She huffed very nicely to prove it. “I don’t imagine there’s something that can combine neatly with that?”

The archivist stood and bowed quickly. “I’ll be right back. We happen to have a lot of resources for combinable skills. Are there any others you want me to search for?”

I shook my head, and Amaryllis did the same.

“You two seem to have some fairly unique skill sets,” Caprica said.

“Really? I think we mostly just have skills that we pick up along the way. I was never one for min-maxing or anything like that,” I said.

“We have been in some relatively dangerous situations. I think we’ve faced, what was it, four dungeons in the last month?”

I frowned. Had it been that many? “We did some other stuff too.”

“Ah yes, our other activities, such as visiting small hostile, negotiating with dragons, beating up a gang, fighting pirates, and getting shot at with lasers.”

I laughed, and then had to explain to a curious Caprica that our adventures really had been pretty tame so far. Amaryllis argued the opposite, but Amaryllis liked arguing.

“I’ve brought anything I could find,” the archivist said as they returned, this time with a stack of tomes that they dropped onto the edge of the table with a heavy thump. “Forgive me, I didn’t expect it to take quite so long, but both skills are rather uncommon, and it took a moment to draw up a list.”

I blinked as the archivist set down two pages onto the table. One was labelled ‘Adorable’, the other ‘Huffing.’

“Did you write all of that while you were gone?” I asked as I picked the page up. There was a short list on it.

“Library magic makes cross-referencing works relatively easy,” they said.

I set the page down and leaned over it.

The Adorable skill has been noted to combine with the following skills to produce the following result:

Adorable merged with Romancing creates the Friendzone skill.

“What’s the Friendzone skill do?” I asked.

Caprica choked.

“The Friendzone skill passively increases romantic attention, but also makes it actively easier for the skill holder to reject that kind of advance. It can also provide a buff in a zone around them to anyone who considers the holder a friend. It’s a skill frequently held by courtesans. Did you want to read the full reports on the skill?”

I hummed. Not something I really needed, then. It wasn’t like people were frequently attracted to me that way. Besides, I had a lot of buff skills already. “I think I’m okay, thanks.”

Adorable merged with both an Unarmed Combat Proficiency or Martial Art, and a Homemaking skill creates the Wai-fu skill.

Another strange martial art? Well, I had Way of the Mystic Bun already, so I probably didn’t need this one.

Adorable merged with Booksmarts creates the Adorkable Skill.

“What’s the Adorkable skill?” I asked.

“It makes the user seem more attractive, especially when they’re working on something they're passionate about, usually that will be an academic subject,” the archivist said. “It’s common enough with librarians and archivists who are more socially inclined.”

Not what I was looking for either. Then again, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for to begin with. Something better and more useful than Adorable. Something I could be properly proud of!

Adorable merged with Intimidation-like skills creates the Adorifying skill.

Nope.

Adorable merged with Door Making Proficiency creates A-door-able.

Too silly.

Adorable merged with Persuasions creates Mystic Eyes of Puppy Dogs.

That was just weird.

Adorable merged with a Chivalry-based skill and a Leadership-based skill creates Dork Knight.

My hand slammed into the table and I jumped to my feet. Everyone startled, but I could apologize later. “That’s perfect,” I said. “What’s the Dork Knight skill do?” I asked.

“Ah,” The archivist said. They shuffled through the books and opened one up before paging through it in a hurry. “Dork Knight. It’s an uncommon skill, we only have two examples on record to pull from. The skill seems to focus mostly on assisting the user with chivalrous actions. They tend to be unaffiliated, and somewhat difficult to read.”

“So it’s like a dark and mysterious knight skill,” I said.

“I’m quite certain that’s exactly what it isn’t,” Amaryllis said.

I decided to ignore her. I was allowed to dream, darn it. “What’s a Chivalry-based skill?”

“Certain sets of skills are broadly folded into a wider category,” the archivist said. “In this case, there are dozens of skills centred around chivalrous and knightly actions. Chivalry is one, Paladin’s Chivalry is another, then there are knightly orders with their own unique skills. Chivalry of the Knights of the World is a nearly unique skill that still shares most of its traits with the Chivalry skill.”

“Oh, that makes sense. So it’s like Swordplay Proficiency and Sword Fighting.”

The archivist nodded. “Two skills that are, for the most part, identical, but with slight differences in execution or use. Your example would both fit under the Sword Proficiency, for example. Some careers ask that a person have a skill that fits within a broader category. Librarians obviously need some sort of book-related skill, but whether that’s Booksmarts or Book Learning Proficiency doesn’t truly matter.”

I nodded along. It made sense, if only so that people didn’t have to have big lists of applicable skills. “So how do I get a Chivalry-based skill?”

The archivist shuffled through their books again, but they answered while searching. “Broadly speaking, such a skill will probably come from focused, continuous action.”

“So I need to be real chivalrous for a while,” I said.

“Exactly.”

I grinned. “That sounds perfect.”

“Oh, World,” Amaryllis muttered.

“Now, what’s chivalry?”

Caprica giggled, a hand pressed over her mouth to keep their mirth in. “Oh, you are wonderful, Captain Bunch. Chivalry is the way a knight or soldier should act. It’s a code, basically. A promise to act with courtesy and kindness, to uphold justice, to help the weak, and to act with honour above all else.”

I blinked. “But that’s just being nice. How can being nice be a skill?”

“The skill presumably helps the skilled act accordingly,” Caprica said. “It helps knights pick the just option.”

“But... I mean, some situations make it hard to know what the right thing is, but most of the time, it’s just the right thing to do.”

Amaryllis reached over and pat me on the head. “Not everyone has the same moral fibre as you, Broccoli.”

“My morals aren’t complicated; just be nice to everyone and treat everybody fairly, it’s not hard.”

“Sure, sure,” Amaryllis dismissed.

There had to be more to this chivalry thing than just being nice. “Does Bastion have a chivalry skill?” I asked.

“I would imagine that he does, yes,” Caprica said.

“Well then, I’ll just ask him how he got it, and then I’ll do the same thing.”

***