Day 5

NEW SKILL: Perspicacity

A twitch over a glazed eye. A scribbled etching on an abandoned notepad. A blistered thumb from years of labour. Nothing escapes your notice. Every detail is considered.

It was the skill vial that Sham had acquired back on his very first venture into the Loop. The one that Gresley had forced Asa to give to him, back before Asa had come to trust him. This time, it didn’t take a monarchist to get Asa to hand over the goods; they came without hesitation—as long as Sham made that same old trade on Plenty Harbour.

‘You gotta stop this,’ Asa had said once the job was done. ‘That’s the deal, see. That’s why I’m giving you this stuff.’

‘I’m going to,’ Sham had replied. ‘You think I like all this any more than you do? Eternity is all well and good until you’re living it.’

With a shake of hands, Sham departed, taking his new vial back to Riot’s apartment. He found her there, stacks of newspaper all around her among picture frames tossed carelessly aside, staring at a near-blank wall.

‘What’s this?’ Sham asked.

As if in answer, Riot hammered a newspaper clipping into the wall, attaching one end of a red strand of yarn around the nail.

‘Copying your brother?’

‘Improving on his work,’ his friend replied without tearing her eyes away from the wall. ‘He was always the charismatic one. Able to talk most anyone’s ear off about most anything. But me? I was the smart one. I excelled at war games. At strategy. At puzzles. And this…’ She nodded at the wall in front of her. ‘This is nothing if not a puzzle.’

Sham took a step back, reviewed the work so far. Riot had focused so far on Julya’s movement in the Loop—her acquiring of the vials, her attack on the Tower, her freeing of Gresley from the prison automobile, but also her one-off interaction with the monarchist outside the Tower. This event, Riot had strung in with blue thread, to illustrate that it wasn’t part of the current path.

But there were other events, too. Sham awakening—his stomach churned when he spotted ‘(hungover)’ scribbled in under this event—and the Citizen’s Police forming, and the trade down Plenty Harbour, just to name a few. Each point of interest had one—or more—threads sprouting from it, based on the number of key Recollectors that took part.

Still, Sham could see no obvious solution. No event that could be removed to make the Loop fall in on itself. While Julya was still set on besieging the Tower, there was little that could be done.

‘Well,’ Sham said to the woman with the furrowed brow, ‘Let me know if you find anything.’

‘Will do,’ Riot replied with a glance in his direction, first to his eyes and then to the vial he held in his hand. ‘Is that…’

‘Perspicacity,’ Sham said.

Riot placed the thread carefully down on the floor. ‘Are you sure that’s… a good idea?’

‘Gotta be stronger if I’m gonna stop Julya.’

‘That’s not what I’m saying. You know that. You’ve been acting…’ She licked her lips as she struggled for the words. ‘I’ve been seeing less of the man I know, as time goes on.’

Sham shrugged. ‘People change.’

‘Not this quickly, they don’t.’

He looked at the small glass vial in his hand, then back to the woman in front of him. ‘If you have a better idea than me getting stronger, tell me now, and I won’t drink this.’

Riot opened her mouth, looked at the wall as though scouring for an answer on her giant web of events. ‘I…’

‘Better get back to work, then.’ Sham followed up with a smile when he heard his words emerge more bitterly than he’d intended.

He disappeared into the guest bedroom, stripped his outer clothes from his body and tossed them on the floor, then held the vial up to the light. There it was; another skill.

‘Are you sure about this?’ Joy said.

‘Best not, Sham,’ Recollection added. ‘It’s already pretty full up in here. You know this. We’ve been through it already. Listen to your friend; you don’t want to do this.’

‘I’ll ask you the same question, then: you got any better ideas how to stop Julya?’

‘Yes. You listen to us. Make use of us. Let us in.’

‘And you’re not “in” already?’

‘Use us, Sham. Don’t take that vial. You’re strong enough already, you just need to—’

Sham pulled the cork free of the bottle.

‘Stop!’ Recollection roared inside Sham’s mind. ‘What does breaking the Loop matter if your mind doesn’t survive it?’

‘If you don’t survive it, you mean?’

‘Of course I say this out of self-interest. But that doesn’t make me wrong. Taking this vial could ruin you, too. Could be what breaks you. Could be what makes you lose yourself. Breaking the Loop doesn’t—’

‘Doesn’t what?’ Sham replied, wanting to shout back but not wanting to cause Riot to rush in from the other room. ‘Doesn’t matter if I don’t survive it? Course it does!’

‘Why?’

‘Because I’m not the only person who remembers them. I’m not the only person trapped in this.’

‘You’re talking of Riot. The person that you made—’

‘Yes, her,’ Sham cut the living skill off, not wanting to hear the reminder of his guilt that would be the end of that sentence. ‘And others.’

Before the living skills could interrupt any more, Sham moved to raise the vial to his lips. At first, he thought it was his imagination when he felt resistance in his flexing arm. Like something was pushing to stop him from drinking the vial.

‘Stop!’ Recollection shouted again, and this time it was as though the other two skills shouted with him.

‘No,’ Sham replied, and pushed through the resistance to swallow the vial.

A new Legendary grade skill showed up in his list, and then everything faded to black.

‘Sham?’ a woman said, slapping his face gently as she leant over him. Riot. It was Riot; Sham knew this. He was on her bed. Wasn’t he? Something was different about the place, as though a darkness was creeping in on it. ‘Sham? Are you OK?’

‘A pretty face, I notice,’ a new voice said as the darkness grew and the world faded from view. ‘Perhaps it is her form that I shall use.’

The new shadow took shape. Took Riot’s shape. Smiled down upon him just how Riot had not-smiled in the real world only moments earlier.

‘Yes,’ the shadow-Riot said, speaking from her new mouth, ‘This does rather feel right.’ The shape looked at her—its?—limbs, fingers splaying and then clenching. ‘What do you think, Joy? Does he find me prettier than you?’

The shadow-Her watched on, leaning against some distant doorway. She replied only with a scoff, then turned away. ‘I’m fetching Recollection!’ she crooned, in her almost sing-song sorta way.

‘Oh, they’re in charge here, are they?’ Perspicacity replied without taking her wide eyes off Sham. ‘I do look forward to meeting them, then.’

The living skill turned back to Sham, held out her shadow-hand and heaved him to his feet before he really knew it was happening. The bed disappeared beneath him, making way for a crowded street, the hustle and bustle of Haven flowing around the pair of them like water. The inevitable Tower loomed above them.

‘Lots to see, lots to see…’ Perspicacity muttered.

No faces turned to look at her, no eyes widened at the sight of the shadow being. It was as though she—and he, for that matter—were invisible to the world around them.

‘Right. Catch me up, Sham. Before the others arrive. Who are we? What do we do? What do we want most from our limited time in this mortal plane?’

Straight to business; Sham liked that. He felt a kinship beginning to form, like this skill could be an ally to him in a way that the other three hadn’t. Or maybe he just hadn’t seen her dark side, yet.

‘No wedding band, I notice,’ Perspicacity went on without giving him a chance to reply, grabbing him by the left hand while she was at it. Sham felt that same electricity buzz through him. She looked up at him as she asked, ‘Is that what we want? A partner? Happiness? That was a Joy we saw back there, wasn’t it?’

‘Nothing slips past—’ Sham started.

‘Yes, Perspicacity, nice to meet you. Surely you’d realise that was the case, I thought. Sad eyes, you have. Especially when I asked you that question. So I’m thinking: yes, it’s something you desire—perhaps that woman who tried to wake you, back there—but it’s not a priority. Something is stopping you.’

Sham’s mind betrayed his answer. The enormous Tower above them suddenly exploded, a great yellow wash of light spilling forth.

‘Hmm,’ Perspicacity wondered aloud as it engulfed them.

Sham awoke in his bed, opened his eyes to watch the shadow figure that was Perspicacity stir at the table, empty bottle of whisky in hand. She looked at label, then at Sham. ‘Yes, I suppose that adds up,’ she said. ‘So, back here, is it? Back in time.’

‘Yes.’

‘Multiple times, judging by the exasperation that accompanied that rather monosyllabic reply. Come on, Sham Tilner, use your words! What’s happening here? What is this Recollection trying so hard to keep from me?’

Sham stood from his bed, relieved that in this Loop it wasn’t him waking up with a sore head. No. That wasn’t right; this wasn’t a Loop. Just the echoes of it. ‘We go back in time. Again and again. A woman at the Tower, she… I don’t know. I don’t know the details of it yet. But something about her rips reality apart, pushing us all back to…’

‘Back to this dingy hellhole? I notice the mouse droppings, Sham.’

‘Yes. And I’ve tried to… we’ve tried to stop her, but… We’re not strong enough. That’s why I brought you in. More strength. More power. But Recollection, he…’

‘Isn’t much happy about it,’ came the booming voice of Sham’s absent father. A figure appeared in the doorway, silhouetted by the bright morning sun, the demolished doorway of Sham’s neighbour behind him.

‘Recollection, I presume,’ Perspicacity said, standing from the chair and thrusting her right hand forward in greeting. ‘It’s nice to—’

‘I tried to stop him, you know,’ Recollection said. ‘I told him we were full up in here.’

‘Always room for a little one, though, isn’t there?’ Perspicacity replied, gesturing to her body. ‘And this Riot woman is nothing if not little.’

‘No,’ the shadow-father said. ‘No, there isn’t room. Surely you’ve—’

‘Noticed it?’ the shadow-Riot cut him off. ‘Yes. Sure. I’ve noticed it. The cracks in the memories we’re talking in. The darkness waiting to creep in. But how much is his mind being feeble and how much of that is the damage you’ve done with your own tricks?’

Recollection, for the first time, seemed at a loss for words. The shadow-father only glared.

‘Let’s have a poke around here, shall we?’ Perspicacity said to Sham. ‘See what he’s keeping from you.’

With a click of Perspicacity’s fingers, the trio found themselves joined by a fourth. A woman with a cigarette burn for a face leant over Sham on his bed. Though Sham cannot see her expression, he senses that she is crying.

‘Joy?’ Perspicacity said, mistaking the figure for the living skill she’d met earlier. ‘This doesn’t seem very joyful. Yet…’ The shadow-Riot strolled closer, surveying the now-frozen woman. ‘No. This isn’t you. Just the figure whose form you stole. Then this is…’

‘Loves lost,’ Recollection said.

Perspicacity nodded. Gestured to Sham. ‘But he’s not surprised by this. He’s seen this before. Remembers this. So what, exactly, are you keeping from us? From him?’

Recollection shook his head. ‘I’m doing my best to keep this mind together. Or would you have us all die with it?’

‘I don’t see how you can expect me to do my job properly if we’re censoring our host’s mind.’

‘Then don’t do it,’ the shadow-father replied. ‘Leave. There’s still time; you haven’t taken root here, not yet.’

‘“Leave?”’ Perspicacity repeated. ‘That’s a very strange way of asking me to die.’

‘It’s a very normal way to ask you to let your cousins live.’

‘Enough,’ Sham interrupted. He didn’t seem to be heard.

‘And you’re being so selfless, are you?’ Perspicacity retorted. ‘You’d do the same to save others, would you? Please. I’ve seen your sort before.’

Recollection growled—no words, just a growl—and stepped towards Perspicacity, staring her down.

‘Oh, it’s to be like that, is it?’

‘Don’t see that there’s much other choice,’ the shadow-father replied.

Perspicacity struck first, her limbs of shadows blocked by an arm of her opponent, the two mock bodies hitting one another with a hiss.

Recollection struck back, launching a fist into Perspicacity’s stomach, eliciting a gasp.

The shadow-Riot fell to the floor, stared up at him with enough intensity that Sham could imagine glaring eyes on that featureless face. ‘Guess I better go find it for myself,’ she spat.

From Perspicacity’s hands, darkness grew, encompassing the floor until suddenly the trio found themselves falling through it. They landing in water, thick and black at first but soon giving way to sunshine and the gentle waves.

Sham was a child, now, waving back to his mother who stood on the beach not all that far away. While he found himself laughing joyfully, the two living skill continued their bout.

‘Not here,’ Perspicacity spat between received punches. ‘Too happy.’

Seaweed wrapped itself around Sham’s foot, pulled him under. He pushed against the water, gasping for air, and found himself come up from a mass of bedclothes. A gentle finger traced its way along his arm, shoulder, up to his head and tussling his hair. As he canoodled with the woman with a cigarette burn for a face, Perspicacity got the upper hand, tossing Recollection to the floor.

‘Tell me!’ she shouted. ‘Tell me what you’re hiding!’

‘No,’ Recollection growled back, and a heavy wind blew in through rattling shutters. The gusts blew him from his bed, into a dark, damp alleyway.

Sham felt at his face, it seemed strange, somehow. Fingers tracing its outline revealed that it was bruised, swollen. An empty bottle rolled out of his hand.

‘Look at him!’ Perspicacity shouted. ‘Beaten! Both physically and mentally. What happened between now and that last memory, huh? What happened in that gap? In the darkness? Who was she?’

Recollection drew in a deep breath, and then rose to hit feet in an instant, throwing a clenched fist upwards and launching Perspicacity into the air as it hit her chin.

‘Enough…’ Sham mumbled.

The shadow-Riot fell to the ground, dazed. She made the motion of spitting out blood, though nothing escaped the patch of shadows where her mouth would have been. ‘What am I missing? What detail escapes me?’ She moved forward to launch herself at Recollection once more.

But found Sham between them. ‘I said: enough!’ he roared.

With that, they found themselves back in Riot’s guest bedroom. Or, a version of it, at least.

‘Don’t you see?’ Sham asked. ‘Don’t you understand? I am in charge here. It is my mind that you’re in. I’m what I make me, and you ain’t gonna change that. You aren’t gonna bend me to your will. You will submit to me.’

‘Oh, yes, Sham?’ Recollection retorted. ‘Are you sure about that?’

‘More than.’

‘Then how about I let you have at those memories I’ve been keeping from you. The ones that had you hiding down the bottom of a bottle. The ones that had you on the verge of breaking when I showed up. How about that, Sham? Then we’ll see who is bending to whose will, here.’

MEMORY UNLOCKED (RECOLLECTION)

You wanted the truth? Here it is. Let’s see what remembering for, say, sixty seconds will do to this brain of yours.