《Give me my lily pad back.》Formal policy.
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The erstwhile highwayman was gently herded back to the carriage, and seated, then, to his surprise served a hot cup of tea by a construct clad in a maids apron. He looked around in confusion, it never occurred to him that the large construct would be utilised as of all things logistical staff.
Even so, he had rather more pressing concerns right now, like the huge Owl-bear who pounced The Princess as soon as she opened the carriage. or the Hellcat peering in from a separate section. Logically he knew the space must be magically enlarged, and blessed with a weight reduction charm, even so, that was hardly the biggest issue with the fact HE WAS NOW TRAPPED IN A CONFINED SPACE WITH A PRINCESS HE HAD RECENTLY TRIED TO ROB, AN OWL BEAR, AND AN INFERNAL FELINE.
Naturally being a professional he did his best to remain stoic, despite the pants-wetting terror he was now experiencing. Still, even for the best, this was definitely extenuating circumstances.
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“Now,” said The Princess, in a tone that made it clear that even though it was worded as a request it was a request with teeth and a refusal would definitely come back to bite him in the immediate future, “I will have to ask you to explain the situation.”
Left with no choice he stammered, “Yes your highness, ma-majesty or excellency, d-d-d delete where applicable, I apologise about being unable to specify as t-training did n-n-n-ot cover encountering royalty.”
“Just Princess will suffice,” Rosalind replied, quickly taking control from Mibbet, the last thing this situation needed was further Mibbet-related complications.
“V-v-very well... ummm Princess, My name is Milton Argyle.” Milton stammered, alas he found himself having difficulty with a conversation where paperwork wasn’t involved. (He liked paperwork, you knew where you stood with paperwork, and if you didn’t then it was a simple matter to check and verify. It was right there, in black and white, in a physical and metaphorical sense.) “I was employed at HiyeTyde first mercantile bank in their collections department.”
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“By the sounds of things that is no longer the case.”
“T-that is correct Princess, sadly their recent policies are ummm incompatible with my beliefs, and worse, their mission statement.” (Now that they were back on the topic of policies and such it was becoming easier for Milton to talk Mibbet could actually see him physically relaxing a little, only a little of course. A human being does not get to the level of tension required to survive a corporate environment, lose it, and stay normal. Like over-wound clockwork it was pretty obvious he needed to release some of that tension or sooner or later something would go SPROINNNGGGG.)
“Can you describe a few of the changes?”
“Well Their biggest change has to be the removal of the staff canteen, then, of course, there are the increasing interest rates, oh and we mustn't forget the unapproved erasure of the “Preventing the recruitment of Diabolic influences to improve corporate profit margins” policy, such changes usually require a proper vote, the board neglected this stage.”
Mibbet couldn’t help but think that as far as corporate policies went that one was kind of a big deal.
“Usually when people say a company has sold its soul for profit it’s meant to be a metaphorical thing,” Rosalind grumbled.
“Only in this bloody kingdom would that policy even be a thing,” Mibbet replied, seconding her companion's muttering tone.
“B-but Princess, why would it not be a thing to set a policy verifying that you would not use diabolic influences, (outside lawyers, of course, they don’t count.) Surely you need it to prevent their use being a thing.”
“Because it stands to reason that making a deal with a devil to increase your profits is a bad thing.” Rosalind snapped. “If a person needs a policy to stop themselves doing the wrong thing then they have thought about it long and hard, that is when normal people start worrying. Do they also have a no mass murder policy?”
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“T--y d--” Milton mumbled.
“Mind saying that a bit louder please, I get the feeling it may be important.”
“I said they did. Princess”
“Oh that can NOT be good” Elvira groaned.”
“So other than removing the policies banning murder, the erasure of the policies about using the power of actual devils, not even basic demons to increase profits, are there any other minor details we should know about.” Rosalind snarled, just for once it would be nice to go a whole week without some kind of evil influence trying to destroy, overthrow, or bankrupt the domain. Did none of them realise she lived here and took that kind of thing personally?
“Well there were the layoffs, and converting the canteen into a shrine of Usury.”
“Usury?” Errol asked, “do they want to flood the city with bears or something?”
Rosalind would usually have corrected him, but right now she didn’t even have the energy to do that. “Anything else?” She asked weakly.
“Oh, they also replaced all the coffee in the break room with cheap decaf.”
At this Rosalind couldn’t help but groan, she knew Mibbet too well by now to not see where this was going. They were in this mess up to their necks now, and as weird as it was Mibbet definitely had some semblance of a sense of duty. Now Rosalind knew her friend wouldn’t let this stand, the question now was only what convoluted excuse Mibbet would come up with to justify her decision. Then she heard the word decaf, and she just knew, though she hoped in vain Mibbet would look for better justification. But, if it got the job done it would suffice.
That did it for Mibbet, she’d long since given up on the possibility of humans not doing stupid stuff. But if you are going to sacrifice things to some kind of great devil, and bankrupt the innocent to line your own pockets the LEAST you could do was provide them with proper coffee. she picked up Choppy with a snarl.
“Errol, Sir Leeroy, tell the driver to head towards town, it’s time to end some evil.”
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