Mibbet looked at the source of the voice with a healthy dose of skepticism. He looked like he would likely weigh in at nine stone soaked through, donning a somehow completely immaculate suit despite them currently being in the middle of the forest, and at his side was a book Mibbet recognised from recent experiences as the holy tome FiloFacs. His shoes were somehow well polished, and the heavy club in his hands made a rather jarring contrast, though one thing was fitting. They had clearly taken a great deal of effort to ensure the nails in the wood were carefully aligned, all things considered, this was probably one of their more unusual ambushes so far.

“Oh dear, it seems it may take longer for clients to respond than previously expected, I will make a note of it. I apologise I do not have a sign language interpreter, so please forgive me if you are experiencing difficulties hearing me.” He stammered as he handed over a slip of paper that looked suspiciously like a claims form.

“Oh GODS here we go again” Rosalind grumbled, as Mibbet read the slip of paper.

“What is this?” Mibbet asked.

“According to my research, this is the traditional format for a robbery.” The stranger replied.

“So you want to rob a Princess? Didn’t you notice the guards?” Mibbet asked, why did humans have to be so confusing? Mibbet was pretty sure a robbery was not supposed to go like this. It was hard to be sure though, usually, any attempted bandit was dead by this time.

“Oh dear, oh dear, this is not going according to plan at all, I’m so far behind,” the stranger mumbled as they looked down at a neatly written flow chart. “This is most irregular.”

“OK let’s cut to the chase, look down your list there, and factor in Target is a Princess, they have a bunch of guards, let’s exclude species as I’m fairly sure your chart will not have entries for Owl-bears Hellcats or Constructs. Then check under outcomes as Robbery unsuccessful.”

They followed the chart down then paled (well as much as it was possible for an individual who was so pasty he could make a vampire look like a poster child for a holiday firm that specialises in tropical locales.)

“Now look up success, parental response, and under parents look up King and Berserker queen.”

“Oh my, it seems negotiations have well and truly broken down, is it too late to tender my resignation from the firm?”

“Firm?” Mibbet was pretty sure she was about to regret asking, but yet again the damn toothache effect came into play.

“Yes, we are a new startup recently incorporated.”

“I see, and how many members do you currently have?” She asked sweetly.

“.....” the stranger replied.

“Please forgive me I’m asking you to say again a tad louder this time.”

“Just me.”

Rosalind sighed, she knew Mibbet too well by now, this was definitely going to get complicated. She missed the days when you merely slaughtered the bandits and moved on, or rather let your guards do it, she had to admit she hadn’t done much slaughtering herself really.

“So let’s call this a separate interview, why exactly have you resorted to banditry?”

“I was fired from the bank.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere, and what was the cause of your dismissal.”

“My religion, or more specifically the tenets, I am a dedicant of the Irregular Church Of Ordurlee ”

Mibbet was confused, Ordurlee liked things, well, orderly. What did it mean in such a church to be unorthodox? “So how pray tell, pun not intended, did your religion lead to your dismissal?”

“The Church teaches that there is no greater crime than disorganisation, and the greatest cause of disorganisation is poverty. Therefore contributing to poverty would be considered a great sin, my refusal stood in the path of completion of my task with clients in more disadvantageous positions. I tried to offer financial relief to balance it out in those cases as best I could using my own wages. But at my level it was causing my own poverty which made me sinful all over again, and, oh dear, I am not explaining this very well am I?”

“You mean to tell me you actually offered financial aid to your clients, how did you tell who genuinely needed it?”

“ I set up a claim form, and required evidence if the client needed to be granted financial aid, it was a sliding scale model, but alas it did not work as intended due to lack of funds.”

Mibbet was rather intrigued at this point. It seemed their arrangement was a genuinely good idea, but definitely, in the wrong place, she would have to talk this through with Rosalind after this.

“So why did you decide on banditry of all things.”

“The bank blacklisted my work in financial institutions and my qualifications are all financial in nature. I consulted several books and according to tradition, it does seem to be the job one takes after dropping out of civilised society. Also, I was hoping that it would allow me to at least be an honest thief.”

That did not sound good to Mibbet, sometimes in life something seems fishy, and the words here stank worse than a dock market in mid-summer. Maybe it was time for her to do a little poking around. “What decision was it that eventually brought you to that choice if you don’t mind me asking?”

“That would be the DeypDyve slum acquisition.”

“BINGO, You’re about to drag us off to investigate and bring about social reformation on a massive scale again aren’t you? All I wanted was to go out, explore and see the sights. Maybe learn a little about myself, instead, I’ve learned that I would be more effectively replaced by a frog.” Rosalind grumbled, then thought harder, realising that so far outside the castle she had more fun than she ever did inside it. But some things are rather tricky to admit so she didn’t say that bit aloud, or even in Mibbets head, choosing to keep it to herself.