Mibbet looked down at the written request, it seemed reasonable enough albeit a little odd.

“EYe WisH TOo Mayk FrenDS, BuT HOumANs Are ScErrEs OV Me, EYe NeYD a PlAYce., EYe WaS MayD Two PrOTec, NufFInk Two ProTEC HeRe FOR LONg ThYMe, So EYe NeyD NeW PaAIcE.”

Mibbet pondered this for a little while, she could understand being lonely, even if back in those days she hardly even understood what that meant. But as Rosalind’s guest she now understood what it meant to be a defender, just sitting idle would not work for Showtyme. Then there was a whole other issue, looking at Showtyme they would indeed be objectively terrifying for humans. Probably what had gotten them the role of guarding this place to start with. As a combination this left her with a dilemma, what non-humans did she know who needed defending. (She quickly penciled the Constructs out of the list, they could definitely look after themselves, and between the undead horde, and the proto dragon it did not seem that many would be stupid enough to mess with them in the foreseeable future.

Her Canine friends were currently attempting to improve their human relations in the wake of the curse of itse kai incident, an effort that would definitely not be helped by the sudden appearance of an entity for whom the word uncanny would be a flattering, and overgenerous description. Oh of course he was a nice enough chap, so long as you didn’t look him in the mouth, and tactfully ignored the bits that moved in ways no living entity had any business moving in. But still, there was such a thing as a bridge too far, the introduction of a friendly smiling Showtyme to the sociological mix was more akin to a chain of interlinked artificial islands circumnavigating the world too far.

As for the rats, well she figured they had an elegant sufficiency of monstrous entities in the form of Mr. Tickles, and before they that they already had plenty of exposure to humanoid monsters in the forms of their own gangs, they probably did not want any more.

Then there was the possibility of Nopesville, a town that by name alone answered the question. That town had been through quite enough lately, it definitely did not need more. Labby and her mum probably wouldn’t appreciate the guests either. (Even if by some wild, and unlikely coincidence they did Mibbet felt the school that had sprung up around it certainly wouldn’t appreciate it. Though she did make a mental note to mention The Cacklers as friends along the way, she didn’t think Hestia and the others would be particularly perturbed by the visit, but they definitely did not need protecting. She briefly considered whether the world needed protecting from them, and decided, on reflection, anybody who lacked the common sense to not annoy The Cacklers probably deserved everything they would inevitably get, and it would be cruel of her to deprive said individual of a valuable, albeit painful lesson.

She briefly considered sending him to the capital, but that would either work out spectacularly or be exceedingly cruel. Poor Showtyme may be an eldritch horror from the dawn of time, but that didn’t mean they deserved to be subjected to the nobles who sprung up around that place, with the persistence of a bad case of tapeworms, which incidentally was a candidate on the list of things that Mibbet would prefer dealing with than that lot.

Oh and knowing dad he’d probably offer Showtyme a promotion on the spot the moment he gave his first noble a heart attack, dooming him to the gods alone knew how long trapped in that unenviable role. (It might be a bit shorter if Showtyme snapped and ate them of course, but making them eat something full of that much bile didn’t strike Mibbet as something that would be particularly good for his health.)

Then there were the mermaids, but no, that was out, despite all the tendrils Mibbet didn’t think Showtyme was of an aquatic, or even semi-aquatic persuasion, that and after The Quacken, and The Don Showtyme would almost certainly make the locals nervous.

That said she did have a potential solution, pulling out a pen and a sheet of paper she carefully sketched out a map to The Caymen’s domain. Explaining the unique circumstances faced by the Caymen to Showtyme, they found their newfound friend was more than happy to help out. From what Mibbet could gather Showtyme was old enough to recall the last time The Caymen had been knocking about and felt quite bad about their disappearance from the world. So the opportunity to protect them while they reestablished themselves left Showtyme quite happy.

They offered to arrange for people to help transport his goods back of course, but Showtyme forestalled any further offers to help when with a wave of what we shall generously call his hands, everything that was left, from stalls to wagons, to pocket dimensions folded in on themselves and packed themselves together into a tiny parcel of cloth. Mibbet was impressed, she’d seen a lot of weird and wonderful things in her recent travels, but she had to admit she had never seen a circus transported via bindle stick before. For some reason, the cloth at the end of the stick being a red and white spotty hankie that did not seem full in the least just made it extra unsettling.

Then at last it was time for a parting of the ways. As Mibbet and the crew turned back, deciding that they had quite enough spectacle for now, and changing direction headed back towards the coast.

*****************************************************************************

Rosalind was immensely glad that she could relinquish control to Mibbet right now, they had been on the road a few hours now, meaning that Elvira was getting bored again, and a bored Elvira was as unbearable as Errol after a few days living on baked beans. She had dusted off the old rubber ball again, and the carriage was once again filled with a familiar TUP TUP THUD, TUP TUP THUD, TUP TUP THUD.

Sir Leeroy was putting years of guard training to use. He never thought there would come a day when standing there while tourists made silly faces to try to make him move would come in handy. Yet right now that same training was the only thing standing between him and murdering somebody he was supposed to be guarding. He was beginning to suspect that may be the point of the training, after all, if he could tolerate obnoxious tourists, and nobles surely he could handle anything. When from behind the carriage came the sound of a falling tree. Cutting off the route back. Well, it would have done so for most people, but most people didn’t have an Addy.

“I’ll get it” Mibbet shouted, dashing back with choppy, largely because it gave her a reason to get out of the carriage for a bit. Not that her newfound freedom lasted long, as the fallen tree was quickly reduced to shards. But it was something. Then Mibbet turned at a polite cough.

“Stand and deliver, if you don’t mind that is.” The masked stranger said.