《Knight and Smith》Book Two: Chapter Fifty Five
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Tess stared intently into space. She ignored the exhaustion that clung to her body, one which was bone deep and near all-consuming, as well as the rivets of sweat that tickled her skin as they ran down the side of her face. Her hair was matted, pressed flat against her skull and she had to suppress a tremor that threatened to rip through her limbs if she let her concentration slip for even a moment. Despite her appearance, Tessa's breathing was steady. She inhaled deeply of the cool wind that tumbled down the side of Dealanaich. The sun had set and night had come. Soon the cold would be biting, but until then Tessa would train.
She secured her grip upon the sword she held, preparing for yet another foray into the unknown. The mercenary had been at it for hours now, searching desperately for the enlightenment that had struck after her battle with Cassie nearly two weeks earlier. Tess had yet to take anything reassembling a significant step in understanding her new Technique, but that wasn't to say that the time she spent trying to master it was for nought. Already a picture was being painted. Each session may only amount to a single stroke of the brush but it wouldn't be long before Tess saw the whole.
A foot slid forward as she glared at the other side of the Sky Bridge, to the point where the path to the peak of the great mountain began. She extended a hand towards it, feeling the air press against her fingers as though in welcome. Then she exhaled. the emptying of her lungs accompanied by two resounding words, a command bearing the will of a Thunder Lord.
“Second Sword.”
Lightning, bold and boiling with glee, shot down the length of the mercenary's arms and legs. It erupted from Tessa's soul, manifesting in the physical realm and using her heart to reach the extremities of her body. She hadn't noticed it the first time, nor the second, but after the hundredth Tess quickly became accustomed to the feeling. An involuntary smile rose as she felt power fill her to the brim. The world slowed to a crawl, her exhaustion turned away by the savage might of her Element. She held for as long as she could, trying with all her strength to contain the Lightning within her, to remain in control. It was never easy, for it wished to be free, to flow and strike with the wind as its steed. When Tess had first begun these exercises she'd barely been able to hold back for a half second. Now it was almost three. An insignificant difference to most, but to Tess it was a huge accomplishment of which she was immensely proud. Those precious moments gave her time to sit within the slowed reality that manifested as a result of using Second Sword. It was a boon that every warrior craved, the ability to stop a fight, to plan their next attack without the need to be wary of your enemy's movements. She couldn't use this instance for much at the moment, all her efforts focused on keeping the Lightning at bay, but in time she hoped to turn those few seconds into a tactical advantage that could see her win almost any battle. It certainly put into context just how powerful a Resonant Gift of Thought could be. If Vera and Annabelle's power was even half as potent as Second's Sword ability to rapidly increase the user's perceptions, and Tess believed it was, then it was little wonder why the duo were regarded as the most powerful Knight and Smith in Venos. It honestly made Tess wonder how the King and Queen ever stood a chance.
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Tess grit her teeth as she felt a terrible pain begin to rack her body. The Lightning, aching to break free, began to writhe in an attempt to break free of its bonds. Steam rose from Tessa's skin as she rapidly began to turn red. Unable to hold back any longer, she released her savage Element.
She shot forward, skipping across the broken stone and using the energy that the Lightning provided her to boost her body to the limits of human capability. The mercenary slipped beneath imaginary swords aimed to take her head, dodged between scores of arrows that wished to turn her into a pin cushion. The smile on Tessa's face transformed into a wild grin as she laughed into the air, drunk on the power of the sky as the sword in her hand whipped out around her. Every strike connected, every blow ending a life. Tess saw the path to victory before her and so she followed it, allowing her instincts to dominate her completely. It was true freedom, the indulgence of a part of the self that few ever even touched upon. It was beautiful, base and as natural as breathing. To Tess it felt like coming home.
The path flowed ever onwards and Tess chased after its terminus eagerly, her blade a whirling tempest, the violent indifference of a Storm contained within every stroke. She felt unstoppable unbeatable! The power she'd used thus far was only a taste of the sheer vastness of her Element's well. Tess pushed herself, faster and then faster still. If any looked at her now they would see nothing but a blur. None could stop her, nothing could stand her way! All would be washed aside as though she were the White Sea-
“Ah!” Tessa's cry of pain came involuntarily as she seized, losing control of her arms and legs. The sword she'd held so tightly before was let loose by twitching fingers. She collapsed onto the ground, shaking uncontrollably, banging her head against the rocks. This wasn't new for Tess, and so she immediately stopped any attempt at taking back control. Instead she looked inwards, working on keeping the Bond tame, to stop her discomfort from passing along the connection she shared with her Orin. He would come if he felt it, she knew he would. This wasn't the first time she'd been struck by her own Element for over-extending. Orin had been close during the initial incident, as it had occurred in one of the few spars they'd managed to have over the past few days. Thankfully, Tess had managed to put him at ease before he'd truly begun to panic. The attacks were painful, true, but they didn't last for long. A few seconds of debilitating tremors and then it was over. Orin had enough to worry about without her piling more upon his shoulders. There was little doubt in Tessa's mind that if he knew just how many times she'd had these episodes, he'd insist on always being close by to stop her from hurting herself, but Tess couldn't allow that. While the presence of her Knight was always a comfort and calming balm for Tessa's mind, she preferred to train alone, to cut her teeth on the mysteries of combat in solitude. That was the reason she was currently on the Sky Bridge instead of in Lilian's arena. Few people visited this place for none have any business crossing it besides the D'viritazi. If she made use of her sister's training ground, Tess knew that she wouldn't get any peace.
“Damn it,” Tess murmured softly to herself as the Lightning finally left her system, giving her control once more. She pressed her hands against the hard, cracked rock of the bridge, a deep sigh causing the dust that coated its surface to stir. “So close. I lost it again. Five seconds, Tessa, five fucking seconds.”
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Tessa frowned as she thought on where she went wrong. The answer was the same as it had always been, since the first attack had robbed her of the ability to move under her own power: Pride. Second Sword was incredibly versatile, a Technique that allowed Tess to utilise the power of her blood, a gift that she'd shared with Orin upon their Bonding, to harness a small part of her Element. Taming the Lightning was an addictive ability, one which made Tess feel invincible. That, however, couldn't be further from the truth. Using Second Sword had consequences, the first of which was draining the natural Aurum that formed in Tessa's soul. This source of energy regenerated over time, but very slowly, which meant the times she could use Second Sword were finite. She was still testing her limits, careful to avoid pushing herself too far. Tessa knew what her body could do, what it could take, but the same couldn't be said for her soul. While she had put no small amount of effort into strengthening her spiritual self for Bonding with Orin, she hadn't given any thought into using the natural powers of the D'viritazi. After all, her books hadn't mentioned anything about their bloodline beyond the ability to sense her Heir from any distance even before they'd established a true connection.
The second consequence of using Second Sword was an inflated sense of her own prowess, pushed to ludicrous degrees. Tess, while wrapped up in the sheer maelstrom that was Second Sword, became drunk on power. She was getting better at keeping her mind as the days went on, but this latest incident showed her more clearly than ever that she still had a long way to go before she could reliably use the Technique in combat without succumbing to the intoxicating rush that followed its use. That couldn't be allowed to continue. As much as Tessa enjoyed the thrill of combat, she hated to lose her head. As savage as she could seem while fighting, her style was rooted in being smarter than the enemy. Until the issue was resolved, there was no way that Tess could use Second Sword in battle, for to do so might put both Elora and Orin in danger. That was something she could not allow. When she'd faced Cassie, such a shift hadn't been a factor. Tessa's first true use of Second Sword had brought only clarity to her mind, instead of the fog that now pervaded every time she activated the Technique. Why it was like this now, Tess didn't know, but it wouldn't stop her from continuing down the path of mastery.
The mercenary clenched her hand repeatedly as feeling returned, smiling all the while. She'd suffered a setback, true, but at least she was moving in the right direction. Tess almost felt like she was seven again, picking up a weapon for the first time under the careful tutelage of Boldrin. It was rewarding to see herself grow so clearly. Last week she'd only been able to use the Technique three times in quick succession before fatigue got the best of her, now she was at four and counting. Honing her martial skills had become all but tedious in recent years, Tessa's mastery having reached a level where progress was measured in inches instead of miles. To have something new to learn after so long was exciting, even more so than learning Smithing. She wasn't a natural at taking a back seat, at supporting her Knight from the sidelines. Doing something like this, something active, something that allowed her to use a weapon, was far more in line with her abilities. It was invigorating. So much so in fact that it almost made Tess forget about her inability to Forge a Weapon for her Knight.
Even that wasn't a lost cause. She hadn't managed to conjure an image of Raiken in her mind since the fight with Cassie, but Tess knew she grew closer to its Forging every single day. She could almost feel the hilt in her hand. The sword had made an appearance when she'd utilised her new Technique, so she reasoned that the two must be connected. The more she pushed herself, the more she delved into the secrets of the Second Sword, the closer she came to her ultimate goal.
Raiken was coming. She could feel it.
Tess pushed herself to her feet slowly, brushing the dust that clung to her from her clothes and chuckling into the cooling air. The sun had already gone over the other side of Dealanaich, which meant that the mercenary was safe from its rays. In truth, she hated all this heat. Tess could recall loving it was a child, or at least the feeling of warmth that the sun brought forth, but now she found herself missing the dank cold of Venos. At some point over the years she'd been away, Ragora had stopped being her home. When she thought of where that now was, it brought forth memories of the orphanage, of the hastily constructed mercenary camp. Of the man who'd made her feel safe in both.
The Smith reached down and picked up the sword that fallen to the ground, examining it for nicks and marks. Thankfully it was void of either. The blade was familiar to her, as she'd been the one who had purchased it for Orin in Venos before they'd begun their long journey to Nian. He hadn't had much cause to use it seeing as how Rionna was always close at hand, but Tessa knew her Knight well enough to know that the familiar feeling of steel on his hip put him at ease. Just because he didn't use it, didn't mean that he allowed the sword to languish. Many a time on the road and in Nian, Tessa had spotted Orin going through the steps of cleaning and honing the blade, the act almost ritualistic. He could do the task with his eyes closed, yet he was utterly focused whenever he set to work. He valued the blade dearly, so much so in fact that Tess was surprised when he'd handed it over to her when she'd asked to borrow the sword for training.
“We're one, Tess. It's as much your sword as it is mine.”
Tessa flushed and tightened her grip on the weapon, swinging it through the air and listening to the song it played. It was dull and lifeless compared to Rionna's sweet, lively melody, but it was fit for purpose. Tess had tried a number of times now to use Second Sword with her daggers, as well as a handful of other weapons, but found that she was unable to. The name that she had given it, inspired by the First Sword Technique Orin used with Elora, was far more than a simple throwaway title. It raised more questions in Tessa's mind as to the esoteric nature of Techniques. Why just a sword? Why not a spear or a flail? What was the difference between them and how did Second Sword differentiate? Was the answer rooted in Orin's preference for the weapon, or was it because at the moment of its creation Tessa had a sword in hand? She'd spent many hours on the problem. Eventually, after a few days of intensive pondering that was getting her nowhere, she finally decided to give up on her search for answers. Annabelle and her mother had both said that Techniques were based on the spiritual, not the physical. Learning their rules and eccentricities was essential to properly use them, but they didn't need to be understood. In fact, seeking to do so would lead to nothing but frustration. Though Smiths spent much of their lives relying on their souls, the divide between the two worlds was too great to be fully crossed. Some mysteries weren't meant to be solved, they said.
It was an answer that didn't sit right with Tessa, but thankfully she had other things to consume her focus. Training awaited, and Tess believed she could manage one more attempt of Second Sword.
She closed her eyes and found her centre, looking to the golden, swirling mass of her soul. It seemed diminished, thinner than it had been before she'd begun training. This had alarmed the mercenary when she'd first started these sessions, but she knew that when it recovered it would glow brighter than ever. The soul might be a mysterious entity never to be truly understood, but in many ways it was also like another muscle. By continuing to batter and break it down, the ethereal part of Tess would grow stronger. That, at least, was something she could grasp.
“Second Sword.”
Tessa felt the Lightning build within her once again, though this time she had no intention of holding it back. Instead she would let loose and try to mitigate the negative side-effects of using her Technique. This would be her fifth use and so precautions must be taken. The Element shot down Tessa's limbs, the fire in her blood raging. Her eyes were once more focused on the path at the other side of the Bridge, using it as a marker to judge the distance she travelled. The last attempt had taken her nearly twelve feet forward. The furthest she'd ever been able to move was about sixteen. Part of her wished to push that number, to try harder than she had before, to persevere in the face of defeat, but she knew that the attempt would be doomed to failure. If Tess tried to do more in her current state, it would end up with her face against the stone again. Better to concentrate on what she could improve in the moment.
The invisible enemies, bisected and eviscerated by her first, blinding assault, suddenly regained their limbs. They roared in unison, a silent shout that sounded like the wind breaking against the mountain. Tessa grinned, allowing the heady influence of Second Sword to touch upon her mind. But this time she kept a tight hold on how much of a foothold it established, keeping her head. It wasn't easy by any means. The temptation to simply give in was great, but Tess would be of no use to Orin if she couldn't remain in control of herself. The Smith took a breath, then leaned forward until she stood on the balls of her feet, ready to explode from her starting point and lay waste to her imagined foes. The Lightning roared within her, a cry that drowned out all other sound as it begged to be unleashed.
Tessa burst forth from the stone. Though her acceleration was inhuman, supernatural, all that followed her sudden sprint was a whisper. A laugh left Tessa's lips as she flipped and tumbled, the sword in her hand lashing out once again. Each strike landed where she intended, every movement perfect and her control of her body absolute. Though the influence of her Element was dampened by her will, it wasn't entirely absent. The sense of complete freedom, of breaking free of earthly shackles that she didn't even know she had, was still very much present. Tessa basked in it, enjoying the feeling of being able to do anything without giving into the allure of the Lightning in her blood. She found that holding it back was becoming easier by the moment, almost as though her Element was reading her intentions. That caused Tessa's smile to grow all the wider a she danced across the Sky Bridge. Already this attempt could be called a success. She didn't feel any of that heaviness on her shoulders that she'd done during previous uses. The Lightning usually weighed on her, begged her to move as fast as possible, but this time it was allowing Tess to set her own pace.
Tess frowned in concentration, believing that she was on the cusp of a breakthrough. She began to slow herself down, her movements becoming less of a blur, while maintaining Second Sword. As she neared the point of stopping entirely, she felt an acute pain in her heart, one which made her wince. This gnawing irritation immediately vanished as soon as she sped up once more, giving the Lightning an outlet. This exercise confirmed what she already knew: Once Second Sword was active, she couldn't stop moving. Her Element demanded to be used and so the only way to move at a normal pace was to cancel the Technique entirely.
Now that she didn't have her instincts clamouring to consume her conscious mind, Tess could focus more on just how else Second Sword effected her, maintaining a far more sedate speed than was her custom. It was the first time she'd ever tried to actively fight against the Technique, or at least the first time she'd succeeded. She noted that the drain on her Aurum was far less taxing than it was before due to her moving more slowly. It was still far faster than Orin when he used the Storm, but it was at least manageable. If she didn't draw too deeply from the Lightning, she believed she could maintain her current pace for at least a full minute, perhaps a little longer. That in itself was exciting. While Tessa might never be a match for a Master Knight even while using the full power version of Second Sword, no human would be able to keep up with the pace she was now setting.
Tess grumbled as hopped onto the barrier, not fearing once that she would fall. Her equilibrium was perfect, boosted as it was. While it was exciting that she could keep this weakened version of Second Sword up for a longer amount of time, she would have to be careful when using it. Usually when she used her Technique while sparring it only lasted around five seconds, a limitation that she had set upon herself. It was enough to get the job done without giving the Lightning in her soul too much time to overtake her common sense. If she went past that, maybe to seven or even ten seconds... well, what had happened only moments ago could happen again, with her own Element turning on her, effecting her mind and body. Five seconds may seem to Tessa like a lifetime when she was in the heart of it, but all it would take to defeat her Technique would be for someone to survive past that small time frame. After that, Tess would be weakened and vulnerable. She was sure that the same could be said of this new variant. Tessa may be able to move fast for a minute, but if she used all her Aurum she wouldn't just be a little weaker, she would be unable to move her body.
Whatever this new, less intensive version of Second Sword was, it would require her to learn new limits. She may feel fine for the moment, but that didn't mean it wouldn't turn on her like some dangerous serpent in the next instant. Her current state also felt quite a bit different from what she'd used against Cassie. When she'd battled her sister, Tess was sure she was using Second Sword at its full power, yet she and the Lightning were working as one entity instead of constantly battling back and forth for control. Even now, while the Element was far more cooperative, it still tested the boundaries of Tessa's patience, pushing her at every turn. Still, it was another small step to reaching that sense of oneness with the Lightning that Tessa had felt that day. She would discuss it with Orin upon completing training. He may have some idea of how to proceed.
Tess blushed happily as she imagined the praise he would shower her with when she showed him how far she'd taken their Technique. Tessa skipped forward, inhibitions slightly lowered due to her Element, and beamed as she decapitated yet another enemy. She was proud of her efforts. Every day now it seemed like she was discovering something new, something to confirm she was still moving forwards. Today, it seemed, had been particularly bountiful.
Tessa's smile dropped then. She'd felt something, noticed a change. Her stormy eyes narrowed and focused more directly on the world around her, trying to identify what had caught her interest. It took her moment to spot it, and far longer than that to understand exactly what it was she was seeing.
The path to victory that was painted by the Wind... it was shifting.
Tess' head tilted to the side as she watched. She couldn't see this trail in the same way that Orin could. The Eye of the Storm interpreted the Elements of Water, Wind and Lightning. It showed her Knight how they effected the world, how they touched all around them. More than that, the Storm allowed him to manipulate them at will. Tess couldn't do any of that. Second Sword was powerful, but the Gift she'd crafted for her Knight was greater still. Though Tess would never admit it, Orin's version of Second Sword was far stronger than her own for just such a reason. He could see the path to victory as easily as he saw the enemy ahead of him. For Tess it was different. When she used their Technique she could sense the Elements, but only if she focused and much of the time whatever Wind and Water were doing was drowned out by the Lightning that raged so prominently in her mind's eye. This time, however, things were different. Her Element was dampened by her will, contained. It allowed her to 'see' the subservient aspects of Lightning all the clearer.
The path kept changing. It dissipated and reformed as fast as Tess could focus on it. Why? Tess frowned as pondered the mystery, trying to figure out what could make the Wind act so erratically. The path to victory was the point of Second Sword, or so Tessa and Orin had come to believe. It made them faster, sure, but it was the path that gave the Technique meaning. It showed both Orin and Tess the quickest way to defeat their enemies.
But now it felt less prominent, different. It was still there, still present, but Tessa didn't have to follow it as she had done before. Deciding to try something, Tess tried to change its course, to focus it on another of her imaginary enemies. She fully expected the attempt to end in failure, yet the Wind jumped at her command and suddenly snapped onto the target of Tessa's violent intent. Her eyes widened, jaw dropping.
“Shit!” Tessa exclaimed, though her words were lost to the whirlwind around her as she started down the newly formed trail. “We can fucking control it!”
They didn't have to follow the path to completion! When allowing the Lightning to run rampant, Tess had never questioned the need to follow the path. Her instincts had screamed that she needed to do so and so she did. Now, though... what else could she do with this?
Tess changed the path, offering another route within her mind while keeping her focus on the same constructed foe. Second Sword, connected to her as it was, immediately compensated and the wind offered another way forward. Tess would have gasped in disbelief if she wasn't so taken aback.
The path wasn't the reason behind Second Sword, it was simply another part of it. This single thought crystallised in Tessa's head so clearly and poignantly that she knew it to be true. The Wind opened a path not to victory, but so that the user could pass through it unencumbered. It also aided them, the trail closing behind their backs and the breeze pushing them so they moved ever forward. Wind, like Lightning, was bolstering their natural skills. Tess swung her sword, focusing on how the air shifted around it so that it moved that much faster. The Element even gently pressed against her arm so that her blow was delivered with that much more power.
This whole time, it hadn't been the Technique itself that had been making the paths, it had been Orin and Tessa's subconscious. Their instincts had spelled out the best way to win and the Wind had heard them, offering a solution. That would certainly explain why she was unable to defeat Orin while using Second Sword. Following the conjured path to 'victory' always ended in a stalemate. Her Knight's skill with a sword was greater than hers, as much as it pained Tessa to admit it. She may have been able to overcome him if he'd just been using his normal senses, but as soon as she used their Technique he would summon the Storm and counter flawlessly.
But what did this all mean? Was Second Sword only a bolstering of their natural abilities? That was all well and good when they were not Bonded, but what good was such an ability to a Knight whose prowess was already increased to absurd levels? Especially for a Knight like Orin with two Resonant Gifts. A path through the Wind would aid him, but the effect would be so small as to be insignificant, especially when using the Gift of the Storm to the fullest. Tess had stumbled upon something important here. The pieces were right in front of her, she knew it, but she found herself unable to put all of them together. She needed more time to practice, to train. Orin and Elora could help, this Tess knew. She should go and see them now to-
“Tessaraina.”
Tessa cursed as her focus was broken, the Lightning within her surging forth in hopes of taking her in that moment of weakness. Tess, without a hint of hesitation, immediately brought Second Sword to a hasty end, ignoring the stabbing pain that followed the rough conclusion to her Technique. She slid across the uneven and broken footing, hands extended to keep her balance as she swore loudly.
Thankfully, the mercenary came to a complete stop soon after, the Wind returning to its natural state and her body bereft of the Lightning that had filled it. The Smith's hands immediately went to her knees as she gasped for air. Sweat poured from her face, dripping down onto the cracked stone at her feet. Tessa's grip on her sword wavered, fingers weak and clammy from the prolonged usage of her Technique. She estimated that she'd been using it for nearly fifteen seconds, all and all. Shit, she felt like she was about to keel over. After the bout of exhaustion passed her by, Tessa couldn't help but chuckle to herself darkly. Maybe she was being a tad optimistic by believing she could keep that up for a full minute.
“Tessaraina,” The voice said again, this time touched by a faint hint of concern, “Are you well?”
Tess closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She knew who the speaker was. It made her heart drop down into her stomach and a tremor to run the length of her limbs that was not a result of the Lightning called forth by Second Sword. All the joy she'd felt only a moment before was suddenly absent. The mercenary carefully schooled her expression and turned back towards the entrance to the Nest, narrowing her eyes at the woman who stood there.
Theadora D'viritazi was always beautiful. When Tess was a child she'd thought she was prettiest woman in all the world. Of all of her children, it was with Dawn that she shared the most in terms of looks. From their cheekbones to their noses, the two could've been sisters if not for Theadora's age. There was a warmth to her, a comforting presence, that Dawn also exuded. Theadora wore a small, hopeful smile, hands tightly clasped in front of her exquisite dress. Mother, like Freida, always had a taste for the finer things in life, evident in her extravagantly constructed hairstyle and the twisted necklace of gold at her neck, from which hung a diamond the size of a pebble. They stared at one another. Tess had inherited her eyes from her mother. The light grey was reminiscent of storm clouds, or the burnished surface of a blade, but while Tessa's were steely and sharp, Theadora's were intelligent and restrained. If being the subject of Tessa's gaze could be described as being trapped in a storm, then Theadora's was the pregnant pause before hand, the calm that preceded its coming.
“Are you well?” Theadora asked the question again, her voice prim and professional, though it carried no small amount of trepidation.
“I am fine, mother,” Tessa replied bluntly, allowing not a single shred of emotion to manifest within her voice, despite being more than a little angry that she'd been interrupted while in the midst of a revelation. The tiredness that had come about because of Second Sword was quick to pass considering she hadn't managed to use up all of her Aurum, so Tessa managed to bring her breathing under control in short order. She smoothly slid Orin's sword into the sheath at her hip, trying to ignore how uncomfortable the thing was. She'd taken to wearing it whenever she trained in preparation for eventually shifting to using the weapon exclusively, but no matter how hard she tried, Tess couldn't get used to the feeling of the thing banging against her leg.
It helped now, though. Focusing on the irritation it caused her almost allowed Tess to forget this was the first time she'd spent alone with her mother since her departure years before. The mercenary kept her expression composed, but she felt sweat form upon her palms, evidence of the nervous energy that now coursed through her body, replacing the Lightning summoned by her Technique.
“Good, I'm glad. I'm sorry for disturbing your training. I watched for a time, but you seemed to be in some sort of trance. I was looking for you and your Knight said that you often liked to come here to practice alone,” Theadora said, stopping as she looked around her, taking in the devastation that had been wrought by her husband nearly three weeks before. A complicated expression flickered across her features for a split second before disappearing. “You are working on your Technique?”
Tessa simply nodded, aiming narrowed eyes at her mother. Unseen by Theadora, Tessa sent a quick jab over the Bond, stinging it wildly and letting her annoyance be known. She received a gentle nudge in response, one which made Tess grind her teeth in frustration. Of course Orin would tell her mother where she would be. After all, he'd been hinting since they arrived that she and Theadora begin to mend their relationship, even though Tess had little to no interest in doing so. She and her Knight would be having words later, that was certain.
“I could feel the Lightning in you, Tessaraina. It is so strong, so pure. Not even your father can claim to have so great a connection to it,” Theadora said, as though complimenting her daughter would make their interaction less awkward. “I caught that last use. It was something else, truly. You were in complete control. I can see you've been taking my lessons-”
“You spoke with Orin.” Tessa stated, cutting off her mother's rambling before she embarrassed herself further.
Theadora hesitated, not expecting the harsh response, “Your Sister-Smith mostly, though it was he who pointed me in your direction. I was wondering if we could speak for a moment? Just the two of us?”
Tessa let Theadora sit in the quiet that followed the asking, before answering that question with the same, deadened tone. “I don't think there is anything we need to discuss. Training is over for today, and I'm sure you have more important things to do than spend time with me.”
“No,” Theadora immediately shook her head, the sadness in her stare not enough to pull at Tessa's heartstrings despite her best efforts. “Nothing is more important than you, Tessaraina. Nothing is more important to me than my children.”
“Yet outside of our lessons I haven't seen you once,” Tess replied with a bitter laugh, “Yes, mother, I can see just how important I am to you.”
“N-Now, Tessaraina, that isn't fair. I sent messengers to-”
“Aye, you sent messengers to invite me to tea. In the weeks I've been here, you never did come yourself though, did you?” Tessa's fury shone through for a single second, her eyes blazing as she spat out her next words between gritted teeth and hands clenched into tight fists. “And don't you ever talk to me about fucking fair!”
Theadora, struck by the rage on the face of her daughter, was immediately cowed into silence. This woman, the most powerful Smith in all the country, was brought low by a few simple words. She seemed to deflate, ageing ten years within the span of a few small seconds. She said nothing as Tess wrapped a hand around her sword and made to walk past her, eyes darkened as she stared at the ground beneath her feet. Tess made it ten feet before Theadora spoke again, this time with far more strength than she did before.
“I am sorry, Rainie.”
The pure emotion in Theadora's voice brought Tess to a stop, though she didn't turn to face her mother again. She stared at the entrance to the Nest, unwilling to give the D'viritazi Matriarch the satisfaction of seeing her face.
“I should've come to see you sooner, to speak with you, to... to be with you. I wanted to, the Gods know that I did, but I didn't want to push you too soon, too fast. I feel like you're the last leaf to fall in autumn, Tessaraina. If I shake the tree too hard I might lose you forever. I don't want that.”
“Then what do you want, mother?” Tess, unable to help herself, spun to face the woman who had birthed her, “Do you want things to return to how they were before? Do you want me to be the little girl who left this place all those years ago? Shall I tell you its all okay? Do you want me to say that it wasn't your fault, it was Mastan's?”
“No, Rainie,” Theadora replied, “I don't want any of that, nor do I deserve it. Ten minutes of your time, that's all I ask. I just want to speak with you. I just want a chance.”
Silence stretched like the sea between the mother and daughter, thick and heavy and filled with all the horrible events that had marred their relationship. It was a sickness, one which Tessa had long since become accustomed to. In her early years lying in that damp hovel in Myrin, when the air was biting and insects crept across the rotting wood, she'd cried for her mother. If she was being honest with herself, part of her had hoped that Theadora would come and save her from her fate. As the years went on, that hope died. Now she stood before her now, wishing for mercy, for a chance that Tess wasn't sure she was willing to give. In truth, she didn't even know if she could.
Then she felt something. A deep and abiding love passed along the golden connection that she shared with Orin. Tess lashed out at it, the tumultuous feelings in her gut doing it almost involuntarily. Her Knight's emotions just came back stronger. She could feel his hand on her shoulder, a gentle squeeze letting her know she wasn't alone. He couldn't hear what they were discussing, but he was paying attention, offering her encouragement when needed.
“I'm not ready for this,” Tessa hissed under her breath, hands tightening into fists.
'Yes, you are.'
It wasn't said implicitly, but the feeling that passed over the Bond left little up to the imagination. Tessa stabbed at it once more, dispersing his intent and replacing it with her deep, abiding unease. He soothed her once more, his touch gentle and restrained. Her Knight wasn't pushing her, she knew that much, but he believed she should stay, she should try. “Spirit damn you, Orin.”
Calm billowed over the Bond, as sure as the Wind itself. Tessa felt her skin shiver with a sensation that was similar to Orin's touch.
“Asshole,” Tess muttered under her breath, swiping at Orin's consciousness with all her might despite knowing it would do nothing to stop him. She felt his mirth at her attempt as he jabbed playfully at her soul, eliciting a small smile from the Smith. “Fine, if it means that fucking much to you, I'll try. Happy?”
The response was a warm hug as a stream of happiness embraced her soul before it retreated back down along their Bond, giving Tess and Theadora some privacy once more. Tessa looked up and found her mother staring at her knowingly, an understanding expression upon her face. “Your Knight speaks with you?”
“He does. Even when I really wish he would shut the fuck up.”
Theadora, rather than being taken aback by Tessa's language, laughed loudly in response, clapping her hands together and sprouting a large smile. “That is incredible. To be able to interpret emotions with such a young Bond is beyond difficult. You and Orin must truly be close indeed. Of course, I've seen that already, in the Great Hall. Memory Transference... That is advanced, Tessaraina. So advanced in fact that some Masters are unable to do it.”
“It helps when the memory is traumatic.”
Theadora's smile wilted as she realised her mistake and hurried to correct it, “I'm sorry, Rainie. I didn't mean to-”
“Forget it,” Tessa brushed off Theadora's words like motes of dust on the wind. “We've already spoken about it enough. I would do all of it again. My Knight has convinced me to stay, you have your ten minutes, mother.”
Theadora froze, blinking at Tessa in complete surprise. She opened her mouth to say something but brought herself short before she did so. Clearly her mother had decided not to question her good fortune. Taking one deep and stilted breath, Theadora walked over to the barrier that separated the Sky Bridge from the endless void, placing her hands atop it as she stared out over the wilderness that could be seen far below. She looked to her daughter then, smile returning as she indicated towards the spot next to her. “Will you join me?”
Tessa huffed, but did as her mother requested, taking a place by Theadora's side with folded arms. Despite her complicated emotions regarding the woman, Tess couldn't help but be taken by the view. It was part of the reason she trained on the Bridge, for in quiet moments between intensive sessions Tess would gaze out upon the splendour of the place she once called home. It caused her heart to settle, eliciting feelings of safety and calm. Mastan may have turned it into a war zone during their first day in Nian, but that couldn't take away the memories that Tessa still had of this place.
“Your sisters used to take you here all the time, do you remember?” Theadora asked her daughter as though reading her mind. The mercenary nodded in response. “I walked out here once to find Cassie standing you atop the barrier. My heart near stopped. I don't think I've ever been more terrified, but you weren't even a little bit afraid. You laughed and giggled, reaching for the sky. Gods, I'm sure you would have tried to jump off if Cassandra hadn't been holding you so tightly. Fearless, even when you were so young. I tried to convince your sisters that the Sky Bridge was no place for a child, but they were sure you would find a way here regardless. Better with them than without, they said.”
Tessa said nothing.
Theadora laughed, her eyes alive with an nostalgic light, “Many have asked me over the years which of you was the most troublesome. All would guess Tilia, because of how she is now, but that just wasn't true. Your sister was the calmest little girl. It wasn't until she was older that she started playing her silly pranks. No, you were the worst for it, Tessaraina, I can tell you that right now. You were always on the move, always going on some new adventure. Do you remember walking half way down Dealanaich?”
Tessa shook her head with a frown, turning to her mother with interest.
“You must have been three or four. Very young, far too young to be left on your own. Alden was distracted for some reason or another, and you managed to slip the net. We spent all day looking for you, searching every corner of the Nest. Spirit, I've never seen your father so scared. He wouldn't rest, kept running around in a panic. He eventually discovered you half way down the path to Nian. You were covered in grime and filth, sitting on a boulder and playing a game with some rocks. Gods, what a relief it was to see you. Alden was very near to tears by that point. You gave him a hug and told him you were sorry for running away. Turns out you just wanted to visit the city. I made a point of taking you the next day so you wouldn't think about wandering anymore. We went-”
“-to the little bakery, the one that sits at the foot of the mountain.” Tessa finished.
Joy bloomed on Theadora's face as she beamed, “You do remember!”
“Fragments, never the whole,” Tess said softly as she gazed out at the distant sight of the White Sea. “It was a good day.”
“It was,” Theadora sighed, “There were many of those. More than I can count. Yet it isn't those memories that stayed with me after we sent you away. It was the simple things, like doing your hair, or holding your hand. It's the times when I was irritated, or angry, or upset. Not just with you, but your sisters and your brother. I realised that despite what I was feeling at the time, I was never happier than in those moments. Our family was always so full, fit to bursting with life. After we sent you to Venos... everything changed. The girls stopped speaking with us, so did your brother. He wrote, of course, though not nearly so often. The last time I saw him was when he and Alice came for training. That was the first time I'd laid eyes on him for years.”
“If this is going to be some sob story about how hard you had it when I was gone, then we can cut this conversation off here,” Tessa said plainly, jaw clenching. “You don't get to complain to me about how difficult my absence was for you, mother. You were the one who sent me away. You were the one who watched while I cried before shipping me off to Venos without an explanation.”
Theadora raised a calming hand, though stopped short of laying it upon Tessa's arm. “I'm not saying that, Rainie. Gods, never that. What I'm trying to say, but failing, is I need to stop allowing the past to define my present. For years I mourned what I had lost when you left, even when knowing I was the architect of its destruction. Your father may have been behind it, but I knew that I could have stopped him. If I asked, he would have let me take you from that horrid table. But living in my regrets will solve nothing. Feeling sorry for myself, as you say, will solve nothing. I am your mother, Tessaraina D'viritazi. Spirit knows I don't deserve the title, but your mother I am and will always be. I love you more than I can rightfully put into words and I am asking you, here, now, to give me a chance to prove that to you. And not just to you, but your sisters and your brother. You need me even if you don't realise it yourself, and Spirit knows I need you in my life. We both went far too long without each other. That stops now.”
“I don't need anyone,” Tessa scoffed, “I have my sisters, I have Elora. I have Orin.”
“Yet it was your Knight that was insistent on you giving me a chance to speak,” Theadora insisted, turning to face her daughter in full, “He must have done so for a reason.”
Tessa exhaled gloomily, harbouring an annoyance with her Knight that was stained by the equally irritating amount of affection she held for him. “Family is important to him. It always has been, but he always had his family. His mother, his brothers, his sisters. All I've ever had, since the moment I set foot on that ship to Yeles, was him.”
“But now you have so much more. I do care, Tessaraina. I may have not shown it enough, but I'm here to fix what I've done. I don't expect our relationship to go back to the way it was before you left, but maybe, together, we could build something new.”
“And you think that will fix this?” Tessa asked gently, turning away from her mother and looking to the stone at her feet. “You think that a few pretty words and empty promises will make up for what happened. Not just then, but since I've come back?”
“I think I owe it to you to try,” Theadora stated. “Nothing I've said has been empty. I've been thinking about this moment for ten years. In the Great Hall, when I had the chance to say something, anything, I found I couldn't. I was a coward, Tessaraina. I was so afraid of losing you again that I held my breath until the moment passed us both by.”
Quiet followed. It was uncomfortable and charged with the heady emotion of the words exchanged. Tessa didn't know what to say, what to do. She'd gotten better at handling her feelings, true, but this was far different to seeing her sisters again or interacting with Elora. Whatever she felt for Theadora, it was beyond complicated. Part of her hated the woman with a vengeance, for her weakness in being unable to refuse the whims of her husband, for her inability to see just how much damage she was doing to those she claimed to love. But there was another part of Tess that felt differently. She wanted all the things that Theadora promised, she wanted her mother in her life. The mercenary couldn't reconcile those two pieces of herself.
Her instinct was to shut down, to give up on finding some kind of solution, as she had done so often in the past, but she stopped herself before she could. Walking away, doing nothing, wouldn't solve a thing. Before Orin had calmed her, she was ready to do just that. It would only encourage more pain, more sadness. Tess had worked so hard to improve herself. In many ways, her strides forward as a warrior and a Smith paled in comparison to how she had grown as a person. With Elora and Orin's help, she was starting to see the world differently. Less black and white, more shades of grey. Were Theadora's sins really enough to sacrifice what they could have, or would have in the future?
Tessa made to speak, but stopped herself. How could she explain how she felt to her mother? It was at once difficult, and yet the answer to that question couldn't be simpler.
“I won't let you go again,” Theadora brought Tessa's train of thought to a swift end. “I did so once and regretted every second that followed. Every moment. Even if you hate me, even if you want nothing to do with me, I'd follow you to the ends of Ouros and beyond, your father be damned. I'll make more mistakes, of that I'm sure. I am hardly perfect. I will say or do the wrong thing, but I can live with that. What I can't live with is training you day after day without acknowledging the fact that you are my blood and bone. I carried you, I raised you. I wish to be a part of your life. It took me a long time, but I am here now and I'm not going anywhere.”
“What do you want me to say?” Tessa whispered, every syllable from Theadora's mouth weighing heavily on her shoulders.
“Nothing. You owe me nothing, Tessaraina, nor your father despite what he believes. You stayed and listened, that's all that matters. But I would like to ask for one more thing, if you would be willing. You can say no, if you wish. Though I pray you don't,” Theadora smiled then. It was an expression touched with so much heartbreak and despair, but beneath that was an enduring hope for better times ahead. “May I hold you? Just once?”
Tessa started, very nearly taking an involuntary step back before stopping herself. She could see the despair in Theadora's eyes, the blatant longing for a connection that even she wasn't sure still existed. A million thoughts whirled around inside of Tessa's mind, a blurring maelstrom of both rejection and a longing all her own, one which was rooted in the past. It was the wish of a little girl who yearned so greatly for home.
Tess couldn't remember if she nodded, or gave her consent with a word, but before she knew it she was swept up into the arms of her mother. She froze, hands still by her side as she stared over Theadora's shoulder. Sobs racked her mother's body as she held her daughter tightly, as though afraid that the instant she let go Tess would disappear forever.
“I-It's been so long,” Theadora muttered between sheets of tears, her grip becoming all the more desperate, “Since I've held my baby girl.”
Her voice cracked on the last and nothing coherent could be heard after. Theadora's cries of pain, of relief, were subtle and subdued, but to the mercenary they were cacophony that threatened to consume her. Tessa blinked, her gaze becoming fogged and unclear. She remained completely still, unable to move and breath held as her mother wept into her shoulder, hands trembling as the tension between the two women was broken by the sudden outpouring.
A memory surfaced then, one which Tessa remembered as clear as the day it had happened. It was of her mother sitting beside her bed. A rare treat indeed, as it had always been Freida who had put her to sleep at night. Theadora sat there, humming softly, sometimes for hours. Then when her mother believed her sleeping, Theadora would say the prayer over her, the protective oath that Tess had whispered to herself before closing her eyes while sleeping in the hovel above the orphanage in Myrin. Tess hadn't understood its meaning then, not truly. No, she thought by evoking the forgotten rite she could summon her mother to her side, to give her comfort on the days when she felt truly and completely alone.
'I speak now to the Sky-Born, the High Warrior and Great Krasihin, Battle-Bringer and Bone-Shaker.
I beg you protect this one. She is born of me, and the Earth and Sea.
This one is strong, the Daughter of a Savage Sky.
Let her enemies fall at the first. Let her never know hunger, nor pain, nor fear.
Methastira, first amongst the favoured, hold her as she sleeps.
And when she wakes, let it to be to world that is hers and hers alone.'
Tears filled Tessa's eyes, spilling down her cheeks silently. She couldn't help it, couldn't prevent it. All the problems that existed between them, all the agony and hate that the mercenary had fostered over the years gave way for the love she still held for the woman before her. Tess' arms came up and embraced her mother tightly, unable to stop herself. She buried her face into the fabric of Theadora's dress to hide her weakness. The mercenary suddenly felt so acutely aware of the weight on her shoulders, of the resentments that she'd been holding onto for such a long time. They'd become familiar, as much a part of Tess as her very soul. Yet as the mother and daughter held each other the burden became a little easier to bear. This felt different to seeing her sisters again. It was greater, more profound. It wasn't until that moment that Tess realised just how much she'd missed her mother, missed their connection, their bond that had been a part of her since the instant she was born. She wept for that little girl still in Myrin, that small part of herself that had felt abandoned and lost. Theadora had finally come for her. Late perhaps, but she had come all the same.
“Oh, my Tessaraina,” Theadora chuckled, pulling away and beaming brightly at the woman who stood before her, her cheeks red and stained by tears shed. “You're so big! I can barely get my arms around you. I heard about your victory over Cassie and Lily. I was right when I said you've become strong, I just had no idea how much.”
Tessa flushed at the praise as her mother cupped her cheeks in both hands, examining her closely. She was made more than a little apprehensive by the suddenly familiar question. “They're both great warriors. I got lucky discovering my Technique when I did. If I hadn't, I would have lost.”
“I imagine both of them are chomping at the bit, wanting another chance to best you,” Theadora shook her head fondly, “Those two are so alike I often believe they should have been twins. I suppose you also share their stubborn need to win every battle, even if it is a simple spar. You get that from your father. He's always been a sore loser.”
Mother,” Tessa took a firm step back as she looked away, once more gazing over the side of the Sky Bridge. The mercenary hurriedly wiped at her still wet eyes, embarrassed by her own outburst of emotion. “This isn't all fixed because you gave me a fucking hug, and you can stop talking about Mastan. After all that has been done, that has been said, I want nothing to do with him beyond what he can do to help Orin, Elora and I grow stronger. I won't-”
“I know, Rainie, I know,” Theadora interrupted her daughter, in a rush to banish her concerns. “I would never force that on you. I couldn't. If you wish it, I won't even tell your father that you and I spoke. I came here for you, I promise you that, and I know this can't all be fixed with one gesture. It'll be hard work, but I'm willing to do it, to give you all I have.”
“And just because of... well, whatever this is, it doesn't mean I forgive you for what happened when we came here,” Tessa said slowly, trying to put her thoughts in order. She'd first begun to do this when she had met Orin and Elora in Myrin. Tess had quickly found that it helped her to speak carefully, to keep her feelings in check lest they run rampant. “You ambushed us. Mastan may have been the one who orchestrated it, but a Knight is nothing without his Smith.”
Theadora nodded, sadness in her eyes once more. “I can't say that I didn't expect you to feel that way. Another mistake on my part, another foolish and impulsive decision to listen to your father. I promise that should he try to do anything like it again, I will put a stop to it. This I swear now, on the Old Gods.”
Tessa shook her head morosely, laughing bitterly under her breath, “I wish I could believe that.”
As much as Tess had enjoyed reconnecting with her mother, at least in part, Theadora had already proven herself unable to say no to her husband. Whether it be in sending Tess away, or in going along with Mastan's schemes. She was the only one who truly could tell father no. She was his Smith, the source of his tremendous power. There would be no King of Lightning without her. Tess felt more than a little doubt when Theadora made so bold a statement.
“I understand that you cannot trust what I say,” Theadora whispered gently, trying to comfort her daughter, though knowing that this time words wouldn't be enough. “My word, even now, must seem empty to you. I just wish you could see how much this means to me, to be here with you. I won't allow your father to come between us again.”
“Do you truly believe what you said before?” Tessa asked suddenly, insistently, as an earlier comment made by her mother jumped to the forefront of her mind. “If you had asked him to stop. If you had told him that I wasn't going to Venos. Do you really think he would've let me stay?”
Theadora let out a pained sigh. Her sorrow-filled eyes were now void of the hope Tess had seen there only seconds before. “I have to, Tessaraina. Perhaps I am fool. No... I am a fool. But despite all that has happened, despite the heartache that has followed every decision he has made, I love him still.”
Tessa's upper lip curled in disgust, “I don't know how you can.”
“Love has never, and will never, be rational,” Theadora replied with a small smile, “You and your sisters can no longer see the good in him, and I understand why. For a time I thought I couldn't either. But the man he once was, the father and husband I remember from when you were all still young, he's still in there. Well hidden and buried deep, but he is in there still. For that reason, I have to believe that if I asked, that if I begged, that part of him would come back to us again.”
Tess couldn't comprehend her mother's optimism. It was filled with naivety, the wish for a perfect world that Tessa wasn't sure had even ever existed, but she said nothing in response. Theadora spotted her daughter's uncertainty and could do nothing but shrug her shoulders helplessly.
“I know it doesn't make sense. The Gods know that there are often times I find myself regretting it, but I'm not here for Mastan. I'm here for you, Tessaraina.”
Tessa inclined her head, before turning away from her mother and resting against the barrier once again. Theadora was quick join her daughter, moving closer until their shoulders barely touched. Tess didn't pull away.
“So what happens now?” Tess asked genuinely, having no idea how to proceed.
“What happens now is I keep proving to you that I'll always be here, no matter what happens,” Theadora said instantly, her expression filled with determination. “And that starts with dinner.”
Tess smirked at that, “Dinner?”
“Absolutely. I want to get to know you again. I've missed so much. Too much. I would spend every day with you if I could but I know that isn't an option. How would you like to join me tonight? Just me. Your father is away in Nian on business and won't return for some time.”
“Orin and Elora are coming.” Tess stated. It wasn't a request for permission, it was simply a fact. She wouldn't go into any situation where she was at a loss without her Knight and Sister-Smith.
“I would have it no other way. As much as I want to know you, I also want to get to know the other important people in your life. I know the Princess well enough, but your young Knight remains mostly a mystery to me. I would like to finally have the chance to put him to the fire, to see if he is good enough for my daughter.”
The expression on Tessa's face caused Theadora to laugh aloud as she wrapped an arm around Tessa's shoulders. The act of affection was awkward still, something that didn't come naturally to either of them, but Tess found it wasn't as intolerable as she expected. “I am joking, Tessaraina. But all the same, I would love to spend some time with them. They are special to you and so they are to me.”
Tessa nodded hesitantly, “Thank you.”
There they stood. A mother and daughter reunited, both their minds whirlwinds of possibility, of hope. Their bond was newly reforged, still weak and brittle, but given time it could grow strong enough to be considered something similar to what they both had lost. Tess couldn't deny the fear she felt. This was new, different, even to when she rekindled her relationships with her sisters. There was every chance that giving her mother a chance would end up causing her yet more pain, but Theadora was right. To do nothing, to allow the gap between them only to grow, was no option at all. Tessa owed it to herself to try. If she let herself be open, if she allowed her mother in, just for a moment, it could end up being one of the greatest decisions she'd ever made.
There were still questions to be asked and issues to be explored, but this would do for now. It was a beginning, a promise of a better tomorrow, one where Tess had a family that was all the closer to being whole again.
The Smith felt the touch of her Knight as calm settled on her mind and she smiled. Orin was with her, as was Elora. Perhaps when she berated him for interfering, Tess wouldn't be quite as harsh as she was planning. The idiot was still trying to save her, still trying to keep his promise.
'Love isn't rational.'
Tessa and Theadora stood together, enjoying the comfortable quiet, until the first signs of darkness began to consume the lands below.
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