“Are you sure the cow will just stand there and let me squeeze its teats?” I asked staring at the large animals grazing peacefully on grass in the pasture.

“For the most part, yeah,” Lily replied.

“For the most part?”

“Yeah. If you squeeze too roughly, she may move or jump,” Lily answered. “We’ll make sure they stay calm as much as possible though.”

“You should have brought a short stool too,” Yam chimed in. “Milking cows can be hard on the back. Or so I’ve seen in videos.”

“Jase can sit on that rock, and we can bring the cows to him,” May said pointing to a big rock a few feet away.

“He should have brought a hat too,” Willow added looking up at the sun. “It’s a bright day.”

“That’s a good point,” April replied. “Hmm. We could show him the aloe plants and he can use their juice if he gets sunburned.”

“There’s aloe here?” I asked.

“Yep,” April replied. “Well, not here in the pasture, but fairly close by.”

“Will you show me where the aloe is?”

“For a few honey drops,” April replied.

“That’s blackmail,” Lily said.

“No. That’s selling information,” April countered. “There’s a difference.”

“But don’t you want ice cream?” I asked.

“Yes,” April answered. “I’m already helping with keeping the cows calm, but the aloe locations are a separate thing.”

“Fine,” I laughed. “I’ll give you a couple of honey drops for the locations of the aloe.”

“Yes!” April replied pumping her tiny fist.

“Does this mean we can sell the location of other helpful plants too?” Yam asked. The other pixies looked thoughtful at that question.

“No!” Lily said. “No more selling plant locations. You all know Jase will give us the candy anyway.”

“That’s true,” May conceded.

“Ok. Let’s milk some cows,” I said.

*

“Jase, talk to her and pat her side,” Lily instructed me as she and Willow led one of the cows to the rock.

“That’s so she knows where you’re at and gets used to you,” Yam added as I started walking to the cow.

I felt silly but did as told. “Hey girl. Who’s a good cow?”

The pixies laughed.

“Now I just feel silly,” I said as I patted the cow’s side.

“Don’t make any sudden movements,” Yam warned. “She might kick you and that’ll hurt.”

“Right,” I said as I sat on the rock. “Ok, what’s next?”

“Wash her udder and teats,” Lily said as April and May brought a small bucket full of soapy water and a rag to me.

“Where did that come from?”

“The getting place,” the pixies chorused before bursting into a giggling fit. It took a few minutes to wash the cow’s teats and udder. She wasn’t as dirty as I feared though.

“We got the bucket and soap from the storage space. The water came from pixie magic,” Lily said. “Now dry them and then wash your hands,” Lily instructed. She then let Yam take her place in front of the cow. “We’ll have to bring some of the latex gloves next time. They’ll work better to protect you both.”

“We should have thought of that before coming out here,” I said. “But, as you said, we’ll do it next time.”

“Put the empty bucket under her udder,” April said. I did so.

“What’s next?”

“Take a teat in your right hand with your thumb and pointer finger at the base near the udder. Starting at the base, slowly roll or curl your fingers one by one down the teat,” Lily said.

I did as told, but the teat was pointing toward me and not down. I sprayed myself with milk. “Ugh!”

The pixies burst into laughter as I released the teat.

“I thought you were smart enough to point the teat down before squeezing,” Lily said as she took another rag and patted my face.

“Maybe your human isn’t as smart as you thought,” May teased.

“Hey!”

“I’ve never even seen this done before,” I objected. I tried again and milk shot into the bucket. Grinning, I reached for another teat since I had two hands.

“Grab either the other front one or the one diagonal back one,” Willow advised.

It was a little awkward, but after a while I developed a rhythm. After a few minutes, the front two teats looked flat, and I couldn’t get any more milk from them.

“Now the back two?” I asked.

“Yes!” Lily replied.

“Done,” I said a few minutes later.

“Now, go back and milk the first two teats again,” May said. “Sometimes cows will produce more milk, so you have to get it all.”

“And then the back two again?” I asked reaching for the front teats.

“Exactly.”

About an hour later I had milked two cows and was sore.

“Alright. That’s about 3-4 gallons of milk,” Lily said.

“Which is more than enough for ice cream and to have some milk left over,” Yam added.

“I’m glad we brought the storage device. Hauling this bucket back to the cottage would be a pain,” I said. “Though, I suppose I could have used telekinesis to carry it home.”

“True on both counts,” Lily agreed.

“Maybe we should move the cows closer to the cottage,” I mused out loud.

“If you do that, you’ll have the villagers wanting to take them or at least bugging you for milk and meat,” May warned.

“Besides, then you couldn’t plant a garden,” April added.

“There’s enough land to do both,” I replied. “But letting them range out here where they’re used to being is probably the best option.”

“See! My Jase is smart!” Lily told the others.

“Enough of the teasing,” I told the pixies as I put the bucket into storage. “Let’s go get some aloe and then go home.”