《The not-immortal Blacksmith》77.1 The Not-Immortal Blacksmith – H&H 5: The Taco Truck
Advertisement
The barn was cozy, not to warm, not to cold, just perfect. The regular suspects were sitting around the table as the map was laid out and dice were gathered. Then the bomb was dropped.
“Hey, Mil? Did you know your Ex is sleeping with the news stand guy?” Pendleton, the small god of Gnomes asked Maximilian.
Maximilian sighed, “Yes. Yes I do. Everyone and their brother has told me.” He took a deep breath, held it for a four count, and exhaled, “And why are you calling me 'Mil'?”
Pendleton coughed, “Okay. I won't mention them again. As for 'Mil', well with the Heretic channel, every time I call you 'Max' out there, people think I'm talking about him. And your name is a bit long.”
“Oh, the 'All Max, All the Time' channel on the scrying stone? Dude is hilarious! Washing dogs, cats, and a Grizzly Bear?!? I wonder what the bear was thinking!” Sarah, the small god of small shadows, interjected. She put out her Llama in the ashtray, and cracked open a can of green stuff.
Kocha looked up from his anchovies and artichoke pizza, “If you were a bear, would you argue with a pixie? I sure as heck wouldn't!”
“True.”
“So, brother of mine, what is tonight's adventure?” asked Sarah, looking at Ghondish.
Ghondish smiled, “Tonight, we have the newly published adventure, 'Ballad of the Taco Truck'. Do you all remember Mrs. Gonzales? She was the new neighbor I introduced a couple weeks back.”
“The lady who's grandma, her Abuela, sells those tamales? I had one last week at the Rio college! Those things are AWESOME!” Pendleton's eyes sparkled.
“Yep! That's her.” Ghondish replied, a smile crossing his lips again.
*-*-*
“So, Abuela wants to open a Taco Truck in the community? We HAVE to help her!” Sarah shot to her feet. “My fellow neighbors! I hereby call for a vote of the community council, to approve 'Abuela's Tacos' for immediate access to our community!”
Advertisement
“ 'Sadly, I must disagree. While Mrs. Gonzales the elder is a wonderful cook, and her food is amazing, the bylaws of our community strictly forbid 'food trucks' of any sort access to our community outside of designated festivals and other such events.' Mr. Johnston, the head of the council says.” Ghondish narrates the response.
“But, surely we can make just one exception?” Pendleton responds, in character.
“ 'Sadly, no. That would set a precedent that will open us up to lawsuits from other food trucks who we refuse.' Mr. Johnston replies.” Ghondish narrates again.
“Well, shit. What do we do folks?” Mil asks. “Should we just give up? Or what?”
“Maybe we could force through a resolution for a one time exception?” Kocha asks.
Pendleton cocked his head to one side, then the other, “Maybe...maybe... no, that won't work.”
“I have an idea for you.” A voice from under the table announces.
Kocha looked under the table, then grabs and pulls out a hissing cat from under it. “What the hell do you think you doing here?”
“Helping, you dolt.” El Gato, deposed king of the celestial realm, replied, hanging from the scruff of his neck. “Now if you put me down, I will give you a solution that your imaginary council may give credence to.”
Kocha unceremoniously dumped the cat on the table. “I don't buy it. Talk fuzzball.”
“If you must know, I have been snubbed by the most adorable lady cat in town. She didn't like the fresh salmon I brought her.” El Gato looked down for a moment, before returning to stare at the party.
The table of gods exchanged sympathetic looks.
“Anyway, my dear godling, all you need to do is introduce a resolution that changes the bylaws to allow 'Food Trucks' and the like into the community on a regular basis, IF the owner of said truck is a resident of the community.” El Gato replied as he cleaned his fur. “That way there is no room for lawsuits, or other lowlife attempts at destroying the sovereignty of your imaginary dwelling place.”
Advertisement
The group of gods stared at the cat. Finaly Sarah spoke, “We should do what the cat says. I think it has a shot. Put it up for public vote. I will start the rumor mill on it. Pen? You start on the wording. Mil? Get the redneck/blue collar group going on it. Kocha? Talk to Mrs Gonzales, both the elder and younger. Get a voting festival planned, with free samples so that we can show off how good her food is.”
“You know Ms. Chang is going to want in on this too. She keeps fighting with the council about running a baking/catering business out of her house.” Kocha said, bringing the discussion to a halt.
Pendleton slumped in his chair. “She is such a...unpleasant person. Do we have too?”
El Gato stretched out on the map, knocking dice and pencils off the table. “If you are doing it for one, you have to do it for everyone.” He looked around, “Someone get me a can of tuna?”
*-*-*
“I didn't expect so many 'racists' to show up for the vote.” Kocha shook his head.
“I can't believe the number of different skin colors of racists there were in the neighborhood!” Sarah said in disgust. “Seriously! What the ever loving mother of the universe?”
“What I can't believe is the amount of damage that stupid cat did to our map.” Ghondish said.
Pendleton looked up from his notes, “I can't believe I failed to convince them to vote for the amendment.”
“We can try again at next months meeting.” Mil said. “Maybe not do all the advertising?”
“Good plan for next time.” Kocha agreed.
The game ended with all gathered in low spirits.
Advertisement
- In Serial19 Chapters
Siphon
Be careful what you wish for. Jade has spent her life fighting boredom in the terminally ill ward by surfing the net and envying the ability and energy of others to go out and live. So when she wakes up with a weak, but healthy body in a magical world with blue game-like system notifications filling her vision, she'll have to adapt quickly in order to survive. Thankfully, she has a bit of luck and an ability that will let her reach for the stars. This is Andara, where her adventure finally truly begins. Author's Note: This is my raw, unedited text. In order to comply with my contract, book 1 has been taken down from RR except for the beginning, unedited preview chapters at this point. The edited book 1 is on Amazon! Thanks for your support!
8 126 - In Serial19 Chapters
A noble blood sacrifice
A confident young man with a well paying job, worries about his mother and two sisters when he's away at work. They are constantly harassed and bullied by the community who accuse them of practicing witchcraft. His father was a known witch, but he made money for a lot people. Since his death the family business has dwindled. And so have the friendships. The family has had to adapt in some conventional ways, along with some questionable ones too. Leaving us to question if wrong can be right and if some wrongs are really wrong at all.
8 116 - In Serial6 Chapters
Hail the King
When the common folk hear of the Hell King, they think of many different things"It is the king of monsters!" "A calamity unfolded that knows nothing but destruction" "The true pinnacle of hatred and wrath." "A savage demon that eats children" "It's no doubt the king of despair as well as every child's bed monster." However, when you ask those scholars of ages long past, they will answer "It is one of the many riddles of life, one that no man has yet solved." "It is a great question, one so great that you shouldn't ask." "I honestly don't know." "Truly child? Since youth have I dreamed of meeting it, and you expect me to fullfill such a task in my lifetime?" "Nobody truly has any evidence it is evil, yet at the mere mention of the name I tremble in fear." One thing is for sure. Nobody truly knows who said Hell King really is. Not the greatest of cultivators, the grandest of swordsmen nor the wisest of sages. Nobody even knows where the stories of the Hell King come from, and yet everybody knows them. This is a story about a broken man, a man cursed by the heavens, an enigma to the whole world, a ruler of a dead kingdom and a monster born out of despair. "I wish not for women, I wish not for gold nor do I wish for happiness. All I wish for is to be granted eternal rest."
8 178 - In Serial33 Chapters
Quid Pro Quo
Satchmo Turner is a failed private detective from the rusting heart of the Black Country who is reeling from the loss of his sister and fiancee. He's going nowhere at work, and treading water in life, until he picks up a simple missing person case and stumbles into something much bigger. Satchmo soon finds himself in over his head and embroiled a hunt for ancient treasure, unrequited love, violence and murder in a quiet English village stocked with a cast of characters he could never have imagined.Praise for Quid Pro Quo from Wattpadders:"Damn you for writing such a good book. I'm dead serious when I say you should look to get it published.""Overall, I think it's a great book and something I'd expect to see on a shelf in a bookstore somewhere.""I read another chapter and devoured the whole damn thing over an afternoon.""All-in-all the book was thoroughly enjoyable and very professionally written. Definitely better than almost everything else that I have encountered on Wattpad... it was a compelling read.""Your style of storytelling is lovely to read. I'm trying desperately to convince my husband to sign up to Wattpad so he can read it too."
8 132 - In Serial8 Chapters
The Undead Hokage
Ainz conquered the new world and started his path towards the slow life with his children (npc). But fate had other plans for the poor overlord. Thrown in the Naruto world without Nazarick with nothing to spare but his name.Will he overcome the obstacles and stand as the God Of Shinobi or will he fade away along the sands of time?
8 92 - In Serial778 Chapters
Chronicles of the Exalted Sun Child
The plane of Rumiga, frontier of the Eternal Empire of the Righteous Order, one of the myriad planes where many sought to live in peace, but the eternal threat from the Chaos Sea threatens their way of life. Only the powers of their soul, their Anima, allows them to fight against the monsters spawned by the infinite potential of Chaos. For most of her life, thirteen-year-old Yuriko Davar wanted nothing more than to follow in her father’s footsteps. When her training reveals a Heritage no one could recognise, she finds herself having to rely on her instincts so she can learn more about herself and the ancestor whose Heritage she received. Character art by Galaxy Rinrin. POSTING SCHEDULE: Mondays to Fridays, 9:00 to 10:00 p.m., +8 GMT
8 273

