“When I left my village I was weak, naïve, and small

I left behind my family to heed adventure’s call

I became a hunter and a scavenger to live

proud to kill or take whatever nature had to give

I was lucky to be welcomed in the towns I passed

kept alive by charity til I arrived at last

at a city by the sea too wondrous to believe

but there was more to understand than what I could perceive

In that city I was quickly robbed and put in jail

to pay a debt I didn’t owe they put me up for sale

and luck was when a man I trusted paid to take me in

it was in that merchant’s care my story would begin

He taught me of the world and how to make the most of friends

how to make a living by whatever means and ends

how lucky I was then to find a friend so kind and wise

with him I’d see the wonders of the world with my own eyes

I had the chance to sail with him while working on his ship

I had the chance to seize adventure firmly in my grip

and when a pirate ship attacked and murdered half the crew

I’m lucky I survived, for there was nothing I could do

The pirates sold my friends as slaves to work in mines and die

how lucky was I then to catch the pirate captain’s eye

he told me if I robbed and killed as any pirate would

he’d let me live and set me free as quickly as he could

I’d always longed to be a hero, since I was a boy

what of the lives I took, in that old pirate ship’s employ

but I knew to be a hero, first I must survive

so I killed who I had to, just to keep myself alive

It was lucky I survived to buy my freedom back

paying in the blood I spilled with every day’s attack

I was lucky to escape the pirate’s way of life

that mine was not among the backs to meet a pirate’s knife

I was lucky once to save the sister of a prince

she was strong and likely grew to be a fine queen since

but before I saved her I had struggled on my own

and likely killed her brother, heir to her own father’s throne

How lucky that I travelled with the princess for so long

I felt like I was finally a hero, right or wrong

and when I brought her safely home as any hero would

the true cost of surviving through that hit me where I stood

The penalty for piracy is death in every land

and I’d have hanged if not for one king’s merciful command

they sentenced me to military service in some war

because I’d saved the princess I could kill a little more

They dropped me on the battlefront with just a rusty sword

I swore that I would see the day my honour was restored

a hell of mud and blood and pain, confusion night and day

luck was when the war was lost and I was swept away

I jumped into a river like a coward and survived

and to this day I’m not quite sure just where I next arrived

by some whim of nature I had found the land of fae

and luck like no one else has ever had found me that day

They gave me strength I hadn’t earned and ushered me along

I didn’t care what strength was mine as long as I was strong

I wandered through a nation with my power on display

growing both in arrogance and strength along the way

Every time I swung my sword another monster died

my powers only equalled by my overflowing pride

luck was when the kingdom heard of all the things I’d killed

but hadn’t heard how many early graves my sword had filled

I became a royal knight, the pride of all the land

gifted land and gold, there was no more I could demand

my pretty wife and healthy children lived in luxury

but still my sword would not be still, with battles left to see

I led an army here and there, and conquered one and all

any army who resisted me was quick to fall

luck was that I never faced a man as cruel as me

an empire grew behind the sword I swung relentlessly

As feared as I became, I was a hero to my king

for at the cost of countless lives, we’d conquered everything

but I was not content to live in comfort and grow old

still I felt I hadn’t lived the stories I’d been told

My brutal war had brought some peace across my vast empire

but to the north were monsters and the master of all fire

I didn’t hesitate to leave behind my home to fight

and plunge my empire’s glory days into an endless night

For centuries the dragons had maintained a status quo

from the skies they oversaw us mortals down below

those up in the northern lands and humans to the south

the penalty for war delivered from the dragon’s mouth

Lucky as I was I found that dragon rather quick

but despite my strength its very presence made me sick

so powerful it was that when I fought with all my heart

I barely made a scratch before my sword was torn apart

Before I fell unconscious, I could hear the dragon say

he wouldn’t interfere if war should come to us one day

all that I’d accomplished was to make the dragon sad

that humans should attack the oldest friend they’d ever had

The dragon flew away but left a broken claw behind

and when I woke a shameless plan soon came into my mind

no one else would need to know the dragon wasn’t dead

that big discarded toenail would be proof of what I said

So with that claw I led the empire north to fight a war

leading countless armies to an age like none before

never in our history was there such misery

as that which I created with my own dishonesty

I claimed to be a dragon slayer just to suit my pride

and so I made a battlefield where countless people died

and after I’d grown numb to death and given up the fight

the dragon that I chased away came back to make things right

He filled the land with fire so that no army could remain

and any who survived would look back on that day in pain

I limped away, too drunk on war to realise I’d lost

but when I went back home I realised the heavy cost

My family had left me to escape the demon hoards

nowhere to be seen were any of my old rewards

the emperor for whom I’d fought, but lied to in the end

would have killed me if not for the kindness of my friend

I was lucky to be spared by those I had betrayed

forgiven by the prince, I owe a debt that goes unpaid

and I was lucky not to be alone in that dark cell

haunted by a shadow any place that I would dwell

The empire that I built was gone and so I left that place

and fled across the world to where nobody knew my face

so let me now remind you of the luck with which I’m blessed

so you might know it well before you fledglings leave your nest

Luck was when I had my youth and confidence to spare

luck was when I had a home and I was welcome there

luck was that a stranger saved me from the gates of hell

and all I knew of war was from the stories he would tell

Luck was to be taken as a slave instead of killed

luck was to be living as an evil pirate willed

luck was when the pirates made me kill instead of swim

luck was when I found some magic creatures on a whim

Luck was to be famous even when I failed a quest

luck was that my reputation never let me rest

luck was that my family forgave my every fault

luck was that they ran away before the last assault

And luck was when a dragon ended all my twisted dreams

luck was that I still could live by catching fish in streams

luck was when despite the endless suffering I bring

I found some peace with you here at the end of everything

You want to be a hero, well then strike me down right here

there’s no greater evil that the world could ever fear

of all the heroes known to you now, most were killed by me

I made new heroes every time I killed an enemy

Thank god I had the devil’s luck, it suited me quite well

to find my own salvation after sending them to hell

lucky to find happiness so far from what I’ve done

that such an evil man as me no longer has to run

I’m lucky that I’m much too tired to wallow in regret

how lucky that my quest for fame, the world will not forget

so will you be the symbol of obsession, death, and fear

or will you be a hero and be dead within a year”

~