That’s not possible. They can’t change the contract! Kalli screamed, causing me to jump.

STOMP STOMP STOMP

I looked up in time to see Kalli come flying down the stairs. The cat barely had time to jump out of the way before she flung herself in my arms. This is awful, Mel!

While the idea of being committed to some kind of royal wedding contract was mildly offputting, the only thing I felt at the moment was relief that Kalli was off the hook.

It might not be all bad. They just want my blood or something. Maybe we can work out a compromise.

Kalli sniffled in my arms. What do you mean?

Well, you know. They just want a baby, right? What if I just give them one and be done with it?

Kalli gasped and pushed off of me to look into my eyes. Are you saying that you want to…you know…with some old royal lady?

I cringed at the mental image that Kalli was suggesting.

No way! There are ways of getting a baby without doing that. I just give them some of my stuff and they can make hundreds of babies. With magic anything is possible.

Kalli’s face scrunched up as she processed what I was suggesting. I don’t want that either. If you are going to have kids, then…

Kalli blushed as she trailed off. The sounds of Kiki and Alariel arguing made me start to suspect that mate chat was drowning out group chat.

Kiki was speaking in a very animated manner. We cannot let him go through with this.

Alariel scoffed as she replied. Nobody wants to get him out of this contract more than me. However, Kalli was very foolish when she signed this.

While I didn’t know Alariel as well as Kiki did, I felt she was way out of line to call my girlfriend foolish.

If you are going to call Kalli names then I am going to kick you out of the group.

The void knight quickly backtracked. No, wait. That’s not what I meant. Hang on. This clause right here. The one saying that the contract is a blood bond. This means that the holder of the contract can choose who it applies to so long as its blood. Kalli didn’t just sign for herself. She signed for her whole family.

I laughed uneasily.

That’s strange. Kalli and I aren’t related. Are you trying to say she’s my sister or something?

Kiki interrupted Alariel’s reply. No, that’s not it. It’s probably your bond. I don’t know if it was when you first formed the bond or when you enhanced it but apparently, the two of you are family now.

Kalli’s voice was unnaturally high when she squeaked. What kind of family?

Kiki laughed uneasily. It sounds like the two of you are married. Magically, at least.

Alariel gasped, the shock evident in her voice as she choked out her words. What? How? Why? I don’t understand what’s going on here.

My sister seemed to think the whole thing was funny as she giggled when she explained. You see, a while back, this guy thought it was a good idea to form a magical bond with Kalli so he could talk to her in private. Then he enhanced it so that he could follow her here. As I said, they’re hitched.

With a sigh of relief, Alariel said, Okay, good. You two had me worried for a second there. Just break the magical connection and the contract should revert to Kalli. I guarantee you that they have no use for her so they should let you buy your way out of the contract once you remove Melvin.

Kiki stopped laughing. Kalli’s eyes watered as we looked at each other in silence. Deciding to take the lead, I explained.

That isn’t an option. I will never break this bond.

Alariel sighed theatrically. Don’t be so dramatic. You can just recreate your bond once the contract is dealt with.

Kiki sounded worried, no trace of the previous laughter in her voice. He can’t break the bond. Do you remember when I said he enhanced it to come to Gaia? Yeah, well, he will drop dead if he breaks that bond.

Getting an idea, I said,

Wait! If I’m already married, doesn’t that mean that I can’t fulfill the contract? Not until I break the bond in any case. And by then I will be dead.

Alariel chuckled dryly, though there was no humor in it. No. It won’t be that easy. This contract essentially makes you royalty. That means that you will be entitled to a mistress or two. The only caveat is that any children you sire with Kalli will be considered bastards.

I growled at the thought.

Like hell they will be. Kalli is and always will be my first wife!

Kalli stiffened in my arms. I am not your wife. Not yet anyway. And, I’ll tell you another thing. You aren’t allowed to have any other wives. I don’t care what the king says. We are getting you out of this contract.

I nuzzled her with my nose.

I know. It just made me so mad to hear someone call our future kids bastards.

She nuzzled back. Don’t worry. We will get out of this somehow.

Alariel was still talking in the background. …as it were. We still need to discuss how to deal with the latest turn of events.

The original plan had been to pay the thousand gold and get Kalli out of the contract. Since that was no longer an option, something else would have to be done. There had to be a way to fight it. I directed my question to the only resident of the royal capital.

Alariel, how do we contest the contract? They can’t just bind me without giving me a chance to contest it, can they?

She took a while to think about it. Well, you could take it through mediation but the contract looks pretty solid. The services were rendered to Kalliphae, so the cost is due. Even though you may complain about semantics, in the end, one of you will be called upon to fulfill your end of the bargain.

What about forcing them to honor the original deal. Then we can just pay up before Kalli turns sixteen in a week.

Kiki sighed and explained. You can blame the Hellquists for that one. They snuck in a clause that allows the subject of the contract to be altered, so long as it’s in the same blood. It also gives them a loophole to move up the execution date to the earliest point where both parties can legally be married. At that point the buyout is void. I assume they added this so that they could bait and switch the male heir with his uncle, thus forcing you to marry when you were significantly younger. In Melvin’s case, the instant they transferred obligation to him, the payment option became void. Even if you somehow manage to change it back to Kalliphae, you can no longer exercise the buyout clause.

It took me a while to digest Kiki’s words.

This blood thing. Can we argue that they tricked Kalli into signing the contract?

Kiki considered the question before saying, Well, you could make an argument about that. The problem is that magic contracts don’t work the same as real ones do on Earth. For starters, you don’t have to be an adult to enter into one. That’s how I was able to trick half of the boys at the academy.

I replayed the conversation in my head.

What about the blood thing? Wouldn’t they have to explain to her that she was signing for her whole family?

Kiki’s answer was a little more positive. That’s correct. They would likely have to have pointed it out to her. Kalli, honey, did they ever ask you about your family?

Kalli closed her eyes as she thought back to her conversation with Lady Hellquist. Well, she did ask me if I had a family. I told her that I was an orphan.

Kiki sighed dejectedly. That means she probably slipped it in by default. Since you claimed to have no family, there was no harm done by including it as a catch-all. Another thing about the magical world is that bonded couples assume these kinds of liabilities when they form the magical bond. I’ve known couples who abstained from their bonding ceremonies specifically to avoid situations like this.

Kalli quietly offered my suggestion. What if Melvin, um, offers his stuff, you know, to make a baby. Do you think they would accept that and let us go?

Kiki burst out laughing while Alariel groaned at the same time. We had to wait for several minutes while they composed themselves. Finally, Alariel replied, While that option does exist for extreme measures, I doubt the royal house will consider it. In this case succession, and more importantly, appearances are at stake.

I turned the conversation back to Kalli.

Great, now they want me to be king.

Kalli blinked away tears. That doesn’t sound terrible. As both the Emperor of Meltopia and the King of Dabia, you can make a difference in this world. You can make life better for all of the people we met.

I was fighting back tears myself.

None of that means anything if I lose you.

Kalli smiled at me, our smile, cupping my face in her hands. You will never lose me. If you do this, I will be right there at your side. They can call me your mistress, or whatever, but we will both know the truth. I am your first and always. Whatever bimbo they choose to fulfill your contract will always be just that, an obligation.

I hadn’t thought it was possible to love Kalli more than I already did but my heart swelled when I heard her words.

No matter what happens, we will always have each other.

Without warning, Kalli kissed me with an intensity that I had never felt from the girl even when we made out. She had a gleam in her eye when we came up for air. “Perhaps that prophecy will come in handy after all.”

My mouth fell open as I could only stare at Kalli. “Did you just suggest…”

Melvin, are you listening? Kiki’s voice pulled me back to reality.

“We need to continue this conversation later,” I said to Kalli, reluctantly turning my attention back to group chat.

I’m here. Kalli and I are just dealing with the situation as best we can.

Kiki sounded resigned when she replied. I know, bro. The whole situation sucks. We need to make a plan. What do you want to do? Alariel thinks bringing the army into Dabia will just get them killed.

What do you mean?

Alariel answered. I know you awakened a lot of them but Dabia has thousands of mages who can decimate melee soldiers on demand. The city itself also has safeguards in place to hold off an invasion. Attacking directly will just get them all killed.

I had forgotten that the army was still approaching, so I decided to check in on them.

Nolgrit, are you there?

The dwarf responded immediately in guild chat. Yes, emperor. The march to Dabia continues as we speak.

Very good. Maintain a safe distance when you arrive. I don’t want to risk any losses.

Yes, sir. He practically shouted, before adding, Did your mission succeed? Did you rescue your friend?

Yes, we did. She is safe with us as we speak.

Hundreds of voices cheered through the connection, letting me know they were excited about our success. Dealing with the contract was likely to be more of a negotiation rather than a war, so I took a deep breath. I knew what I had to say next but I dreaded it all the same. Turning to Kalli, I ran the idea by her first.

I need to send them home. This is our fight. Ours alone. I realized that after Stef died.

She nodded quietly, her determination fueling my resolve. I turned back to group chat, speaking rapidly before I changed my mind

Guys. I’ve come to a decision. Before we deal with the contract, there is one more thing I need to do. We are going to meet Joe outside of Dabia. Then we are going to send everyone back to Earth. I know you all came to help me out, but Joe already pointed out that none of you signed up to fight a war.

Joe spoke, cutting off the rest of my speech. Dude, I only said that in the heat of the moment. I was worried about Wendy and you were staying in the dark lands. The only reason I said that was to light a fire under your butt.

A rustling sound came from the staircase as Wendy descended. I heard everything, Melvin. You don’t get to decide when I leave. If you are in danger, then I am going to stay until you aren’t. You can stay on Gaia if you wish but I’m not leaving. Not like this.

Joe added, You heard her. If she’s staying then so am I.

So are we. Run said.

I already knew the answer but I asked anyway.

Ki?

Kiki laughed and said, Dearest brother. I think I like it here. You couldn’t kick me out even if you wanted to. However, that doesn’t mean you’re getting rid of me until you’re good and safe. Don’t forget who the negotiator is in the group.

Alariel spoke in a monotone. Great. We’re all staying. Now, who has a plan?

Unbeknownst to all of us, the cat sat quietly in the corner, hearing far more than he was allowed.