Congratulations. You have reached level 30

Kalli stomped up to me in a huff and said, “You suck, Melvin.”

Looking around, I realized the cardinal sin I had committed. I fell asleep. Noticing my panic, the features on Kalli’s face softened and she sat next to me. “It’s okay, Mel. You’ll just have to make it up to me next time.”

I reached out for Kalli and she fell into my arms. “I’ll make it up to you in here.”

She pecked me on the lips and situated herself in my lap. “It’s not the same in here. I miss spending time with the real you.”

“Technically, you’re with me right now.” I pointed out wisely. “I assume you’re sleeping next to me out there.”

When I thought about it, it was probably a good idea to find a way to monitor my body while in a dream. Some experimentation was in order. Kalli pouted and said, “You’re no fun when you’re asleep. Sometimes I just want to be with you physically.”

“Do you mean it?” I asked, mentally willing myself to wake up.

Kalli quickly cut me off, flicking my forehead. “Not like that dummy.”

I woke to find Kalli snuggled up next to me. When I started to move, she wrapped her arms around me and whispered, “You aren’t getting away from me that easily.”

Rolling over so that we were facing one another, I whispered back, “I don’t want to. I just have to pee.”

She wrinkled her nose at me and huffed, “Fine. I have to go too. Make us a toilet.”

Sliding my feet over the side of the bed, I looked around the one-bedroom cabin that I had made for us. I felt a little guilty for not making homes for the rest of the troops but we only planned to stay in the forest for a day.

When I reached for the doorknob, Kalli asked, “Where do you think you are going?”

Glancing over my shoulder, I replied, “Outside, to find a spot to make us an outhouse.”

“It’s too cold.” She whined. “Besides, if you go out there, someone will need you for something.”

She had a point. The place was teeming with soldiers. Then there was Joe and Run to deal with. I looked around and asked, “Then where?”

Kalli pointed to a corner. “Over there. You’re just going to delete the whole thing when we’re done anyway, right?”

Looking at the corner, there was very little room for a toilet, much less any kind of a modesty curtain. I pointed it out. “Do you want me to hold up a sheet or something while you…?”

She laughed, waiting patiently for me to create the commode. “Oh come on. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen everything through our bond already. I know you look.”

I sighed and created the toilet. Kalli hiked up her dress and sat down, revealing nothing. With a mischievous grin, she whispered, “Sorry in advance for the smell.”

The sounds of tinkling filled the tiny room while we locked eyes. Then she burst out laughing and said, “Just kidding.”

Once she finished, I anxiously took care of my own business, looking over my shoulder as I did so to find Kalli trying to act like she wasn’t looking.

After I was done, I deleted the used toilet and started to head back to bed when Kalli stopped me. I didn’t like the look in her eye. “What?”

“We need to get you clean first.” That grin found its way onto her face once again.

Before I could reply, she began her spell.

“Pvruzth”

I made flames of my own, having a cleaning war with her as I informed her, “You can control your mana. You don’t need to say the word now.”

She shrugged, taking the opportunity to clean all of me. “I know. It just reminds me of the first time I did it.”

“You scared me that time,” I replied, remembering the first time she dried me back at the mall.

Once we were clean, the two of us climbed back into bed together. After a round of aggressive cuddling, we both fell asleep again.

Kalli woke first. Her scream roused me from the best night’s sleep I’d had in a while. When I opened my eyes, I saw her standing over me, completely immersed in flames. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a green blur disappearing over the edge of the bed.

Fire formed at the tip of Kalli’s finger as she pointed toward the spot where I had seen the blur. G-g-g-goblin!

Hearing her voice, I had a pretty good idea who it was. “Boombrix? Is that you?”

“Yes!” A high-pitched squeal came from the foot of the bed. “Boombrix came to bring breakfast for the honorable emperor and empress. Please forgive Boombrix for climbing on the bed.”

Kalli was having none of it. A jet of flame sprayed out of her fingers, causing the goblin to yelp from her hiding place as it found her. I tackled Kalli, dragging her down to the bed with me.

Don’t kill her. Boombrix is a friend.

She struggled in my arms and glared at me. A little too friendly if you ask me!

Once she was satisfied that the fire died, Boombrix raised her head over the bed. “Is it safe now?”

“Do you intend to stay out of the bed?” Kalli replied, her voice strangely fierce.

The goblin nodded, bowing her head in submission. “Boombrix understands. Would you like breakfast?”

I turned to look at Kalli, who raised an eyebrow at me. Don’t look at me. This is your problem.

Do you know what goblins eat?

She stuck her tongue out at me. It looks like you’re about to find out.

“I’ll take some,” I announced, resigning myself to a possibly gross fate. “I am hungry after all.”

To my surprise, the goblin produced a plate of what looked like bacon and eggs. The colors were all wrong but otherwise, it looked normal. I idly wondered what kind of bird made orange eggs. The black bacon looked burnt but was actually kind of tasty. To top off the meal was a glass of familiar green ruffalo milk.

Once Kalli was convinced that I wasn’t being fed goblin slop, she helped herself to half of my breakfast. Boombrix was content to stand in the doorway and watch us eat until Kalli shooed her from the room.

She’s not that bad, you know?

Kalli blushed and informed me. I know. I just don’t like her being in my bed when I sleep.

But I’m in your bed.

She wiped some yolk off of my chin with her thumb. That’s different. You get a pass.

All good times come to an end, and after staying in bed all morning, we emerged from the house just after noon. I deleted the structure just as Joe and Run made their way over.

Joe refused to make eye contact as he spoke. “I'm apologizing again about yesterday. I’ve been stressed lately and I took it out on you. I’m truly sorry.”

I shook my head, waving off the apology. “Don’t worry about it. I get it. If something happened to Kalli, I’d probably have gone crazy. I promise you that I won’t stop until we get Wendy back.”

A hint of a smile played across Joe’s face as he said, “You’d better not.”

The four of us strolled into Hellquist village by ourselves. I instructed the army to remain in the forest so that we wouldn’t cause any panic.

As we passed by the monastery where Kalli was raised, I noticed a group of unfamiliar teens leaning against a wall, watching us closely. Kalli shrunk behind me, causing Joe to ask in group chat. Do you know these people?

Kalli squeezed my arm and replied timidly, Unfortunately.

Her anxiety made me instantly hate them.

Do you want me to deal with them?

She noticed that I asked her in mate chat and shook her head very slightly. It’s really not worth it.

Unfortunately, the teens began making their way over to us. When they got close, one of them spoke. “Scowly Fay, is that you? We all thought you went off and died. Too bad.”

Kalli trembled in my arms which infuriated me. I turned to the speaker and yelled. “You will get out of here if you know what’s good for you!”

While I could have used words of magic, a part of me wanted them to challenge me. Kalli had dealt with my bully and I was more than eager to return the favor.

The boy who had spoken to Kalli was slightly taller than me with the beginnings of a black beard on his face. He scowled and asked, “And if we don’t?”

I checked him out.

Name

Wilfred

Class

Bully

Level

1

Affection Level

Surly

Matching his glare, I replied, “I’ll make you.”

He and his friends laughed, looking over Joe and Rundell. “You and what army?”

While I did have an army and it would be fun to march them into town to deal with the local bullies, I didn’t need the backup. Holding my hand above my head theatrically, I formed my mana blade in my outstretched hand. “Perhaps I’ll just kill you instead. You did insult Kalli after all.”

The teen’s eyes widened as they witnessed my magic and ran away in the direction of the monastery. Kalli slapped my arm lightly. I wish you hadn’t done that.

I was still seeing red but I allowed the great sword to dissipate.

They made me so mad. I wasn’t actually going to kill them though.

Turning her attention to Joe and Run who had watched the whole thing in silence, Kalli spoke in a low voice. “I’d like to go check on the littles in the monastery. It should only take a few minutes and I never got a chance to tell them I was leaving.”

Joe and Run exchanged a look before Run replied, “That’s fine. Just don’t take too long.”

Kalli started toward the monastery, tugging my hand. Come. I want you to meet them.

The inside of the monastery was a maze of corridors. Kalli led me with purpose down several flights of stairs to the lower level where water trickled from cracks in the ceiling.

At the end of the hall, I could hear the sounds of children playing through a slightly ajar door. Kalli ran the distance, dragging me along behind her.

When she got there she burst through the door and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry. I’m back.”

I counted the tiny heads as they all flocked to Kalli and tried to hug her at the same time. Kalli knelt in front of them, reassuring each one as if she were their long-lost mother.

With her attention momentarily focused on the kids, I took the opportunity to investigate the room. Ragged sacks lined the floor as makeshift beds and toys were strewn about made of sticks and scraps of cloth.

Do they really live like this?

Kalli looked up at me and nodded, speaking out loud. “Littles. I want you to meet Melvin. He’s my boyfriend.”

One of the girls squealed, running over to me. “Aww, Kawiphae has a boyfwiend!”

I smiled warmly at the girl, patting her head gently. She wrapped her arms around my legs in a makeshift hug. The other kids were slowly making their way over to me when the door burst open and a nun stood framed in the door.

She looked me up and down and said, “Wilfred tells me that this boy threatened to kill him with a sword. Is that true?”

Kalli spoke on my behalf. “He didn’t mean it. Wilfred was just being himself. He isn’t used to anyone standing up to him.”

“And the sword?” The nun queried. “Where is it?”

I smiled politely and said, “It’s made of mana. Would you like to see it?”

She considered me for a moment before saying, “So he speaks. And no, there are no weapons allowed in the monastery. Any roughhousing must be taken outside. I am very pleased to see that Kalliphae is in good health, but I must ask you both to stop terrorizing people.”

“You know, you can tell them to stop bullying Kalli.” I snorted, irritated that the nun was victim-blaming.

Kalli rolled her eyes and walked over to me. She’s tried. Believe me.

Then she took my hand. “We will get out of your hair for now. However, I’m coming back for the littles. I just have to go to Dabia first.”

The nun smiled at Kalli and asked, “Where will you take them?”

Kalli smiled at the nun as she replied, “There is a newly formed empire in the dark lands. I intend to find them all homes there.”

“Is it safe there?” The nun asked, clearly curious.

Kalli nodded. “Not only are there no noble families but the regular people are awakened. They have suffered many losses but they all live better than the people in this village. They work together too.”

The nun rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “If it is as you say, I may just have to relocate the orphanage over there. The bigger kids will have to come as well, of course.”

Kalli looked over at me as she replied, “Of course.”

I grinned at her.

Just wait till they find out who the emperor is!

She giggled, drawing a stern glare from the nun. After that, we said our goodbyes and made our way back outside. The littles clung to us all the way out of the monastery. They would have continued with us if Kalli hadn’t stopped and whispered to them. When we made our way back to Joe and Run, Kalli said, “So, you guys ready to meet the Hellquists?”