As we stepped into the dungeon, Fina narrated from behind us, “The first obstacle you must overcome when you enter a dungeon is the darkness.”

If she hadn’t told me about it, I probably wouldn’t have noticed the lack of light. With my God Eye skill, I could see the sprawling dungeon before me clearly. Looking around myself, I saw that Kalli and Run were using magical lights to see ahead while Fina and Kiki must have had a trait like I did.

Kalli’s ball of light floated around her head while Run wore glowing beads around his neck. I decided to be nice and BUFF my God Eye skill. Everyone let out a collective gasp as my enhanced vision hit them at once.

Fina, who wasn’t in the group asked, “What’s wrong?”

Kiki laughed and pointed at me, “Melvin here just buffed us and now we have supervision.”

Grinning at the compliment, I suggested, “I wonder if I can modify it to see through walls.”

My adopted sister scolded me, “You probably just want that skill so you can see through girl’s clothes.”

Fina raised an eyebrow, “He can get in trouble for that, you know.”

I raised my hands defensively, about to deny the accusation, when Ki added, “I’m kidding. It’s just a joke. My brother would never do that.”

My face burned as the rest of the group laughed. For the duration of the dungeon, we agreed not to use group chat much so that we wouldn’t confuse the other half of the group. Fortunately, I still had mate chat to communicate with Kalliphae.

The dungeon didn’t remind me of Los Angeles at all. The layout felt like something straight out of a video game. The walls were lined with cold grey bricks that stretched into the darkness. The first floor, the top I presumed, was a well-laid out maze, with long halls and intersections that constantly made us choose left or right.

At the first choice, Fina pointed out, “Choices like this are abundant in most dungeons. Making the wrong choice can sometimes be the difference between life and death.”

To me, it just looked like a left or right-turn decision. I failed to see how a small choice like that could make such a critical difference. Being asked to choose after three random turns, I asked Fina, “Does it matter who chooses which way we go? It’s completely random, isn’t it?”

The adventurer shook her head and began teaching us, “Choosing your direction may seem random, but a true dungeoneer will employ a variety of techniques every time a choice presents itself. The training dungeon is a test to guide you in this process.”

Kalli stepped in front of me, obviously intrigued as she ran her hands along the wall trying to divine which way to choose, “What kinds of techniques can we learn?”

Fina beamed at the girl, letting her know that she approved of the question, “It can be something as simple as using luck to toss a coin or as fancy as using magic to divine the correct choice. Non-magical types have tools and tricks to illuminate the correct path.”

Ki decided to add to the story, “This one explorer named MacGuyver once used mercury, an old water bottle, and a roll of duct tape to find his way. It’s true I swear.”

I laughed at the girl, “Are you talking about the TV show?”

Kalliphae turned back and gave me a confused look. What are you talking about? The quest box from your mother’s house?

I grinned back at the pyromancer.

You remember.

Our guide cut off the joke with a wave of her hand, “Enough of that. This is a lesson. Look closely at the options. One path is slightly more lucrative than the other. Look for the signs.”

Before I had a chance to do so much as taking a look, Run pointed down the left path, “This path is more traveled than the other. It’s quite obvious.”

“Indeed”, Fina smiled, “Nice perception.”

Not wanting to be left out, I closed my eyes to concentrate. At first glance, the map was hardly useful. The whole thing was lost under a fog similar to the one in the passage under the ocean.

However, there was something under the fog. A dull golden glow. I recognized the color from the key on the map. That was treasure. I proudly announced, “I’m not sure which way is the correct one, but I know where the treasure is and that is to the left.”

Everyone stopped to gape at me. Fina’s smile faltered, “How could you possibly know that? Do you have some kind of magic dousing trait?”

I shrugged at the woman, “I guess you can say I have a magic treasure map.”

Kiki gave me the stink eye and I could feel her eyes penetrating the veil over my stats, telling her everything about me. Once she found what she wanted, she laughed, “Indeed, creative use of your skill, baby brother.”

“Ugh, why do we have to run into slimes.”, Kalli groaned when we encountered our first set of monsters in the dungeon, “They are so gross.”

STOMP

STOMP

STOMP

Slime juice flew in every direction as Run began stomping on the tiny monsters.Kiki quickly followed suit while Kalli, Fina, and I stood back trying not to get splattered on.

The slimes exploded like overstuffed water balloons when they were crushed causing waves of slime to wash over our feet. Kalliphae tried to hide behind me but the liquid that gave slimes their name got all over her boots anyhow.

“Pvruzth”

She practically shrieked the words as the flames sprouted from both her hands and her legs in an attempt to fight off the sticky gunk. Fina stepped lightly through the fluid and explained, “Your fire spell could have prevented them from making such a mess. You might want to lead with that next time.”

I smiled at Kalliphae and pointed at her feet.

Watch this.

DELETE

The slime guts covering the girl’s lower half vanished without a trace, leaving her flames with nothing to devour. I continued to delete all of the remains until no trace of our encounter was left.

Kalli squealed with delight and kissed me on the cheek. I figured that was big for her since we only started dating. Thank you, Mel. You’re my hero.

Anytime babe.

The scowl that she gave me informed me that ‘babe’ was not on the approved nickname list.

Before long, we arrived at another unique choice. Kiki looked at me and laughed, “Well, what’ll it be? Up or down?”

I looked back and forth between Ki and Fina, confused, “If we go up, won’t we end up back on the surface?”

Fina shook her head, “Nope. Dungeons are magic. Don’t base decisions you make in here on things you assume about the world outside. Let that also be a lesson.”

Kiki added, “Think about it, Melvin, the dungeons change every time a new group enters them. Why would it be so far-fetched that they exist in their own private dimension?”

Looking back at the map, I pointed out, “We left five treasures on this floor. Shouldn’t we try to get them?”

Kiki laughed and explained, “The first couple of floors are for children. You won’t find anything but F-ranked monsters and treasures to match. All choices lead to the next floor with some being slightly easier than others to reward good choices. Seasoned adventurers push through the first floors as quickly as possible.”

Realizing that we just spent a lot of time on the first floor, I asked, “Wait, why are we going so slow if this is the kiddy floor?”

Fina looked at me pointedly and explained, “Several of you need to be taught about decision making and trap management. This is a class first and foremost.”

On a hunch, I decided to talk to the group in the other dungeon.

Hey guys, what floor are you on?

As usual, Rave answered first. We’re on floor 7 and moving quickly. How about you guys?

Joe groaned over him. Dude, you were supposed to keep that a secret.

Rave sounded scandalized. Why is that a secret?

Stefanie laughed. Because Gideon doesn’t want Fina to know it’s a race.

In the interest of speeding up our progress, I informed our guide, “Fina, did you know that the other group is on floor 7? I guess their instructor thinks that they can explore deeper than you can?”

Fina stiffened and Kiki raised an eyebrow at me. I saw what you did there, Melvin?

Joe sounded scandalized. What did Melvin do?

Kiki giggled. That’s a secret.

It was Wendy who know what I was up to. He spilled the beans. We need to hurry.

By the time our conversation ended, Fina was racing into action, choosing to descend the stairs to the lower level, “Oh, if that guy thinks he can delve deeper than I can, he’s got another thing coming. Come on everyone, we’re going into hurry mode.”

From there, the floors flew by. Fina made all of the decisions and we skipped every treasure. Our group either avoided all of the monsters or ran over them. By the time the day ended, we managed to get to the tenth floor.

Fina led us over to a solid oak door and placed her palm against it. Previously unseen runes etched into the door began to glow around her hand. With a loud click that echoed down the hall around us, the door swung open, blinding us with the light from within.

Our teacher explained, “You will find safe rooms like this on every 5th floor. While inside of them, none of the monsters outside will bother you.”

The inside of the lighted room contained some ragged rucksacks strewn about the floor and a fireplace with a small cauldron hanging above the ashes of a long-forgotten fire. Fresh firewood rested in a bin off to the side.

Needing a toilet after a long day of adventuring and finding none in the safe room, I asked Fina, “Excuse me, where is the restroom?”

The rest of the group laughed at me for a moment, before Fina flicked her thumb over her shoulder and informed me, “Due to the fact that a real dungeon wouldn’t have facilities like that, neither do ours. You need to go out there. Don’t wander far though.”

Run choked off his laughter and asked in group chat. Did you happen to pack any of the magic diapers from your dorm room? They can be a lifesaver in a dungeon.

Kalliphae agreed. Tell me about it. There were special clothes for girls that don’t exist where I’m from.

Kiki laughed out loud. Those savages.

All of the girls echoed their agreement. Since I didn’t have a magical diaper or other special clothing, I was forced to venture back into the dungeon to relieve myself.

Kalli was giggling when I finished. I can’t believe you almost fell in it.

You were watching?

She glared at me. Not watching. I’d never. You know how the mate connection works though. Besides, in a few hours, I’ll teach you how to do it properly.

Before I left, I made sure to delete my waste properly, both from my backside and from the dungeon.

When I arrived back in the room, I discovered Kiki and Fina resting on the rucksacks while Kalliphae and Run were trying to make some sort of meal in the cauldron.

One look at the rucksacks told me that they weren’t going to be very comfortable so I decided to do a little light editing.

Item:

Hammock (Edited)

Components

Burlap, Leather, Rope

Item Rank:

B

Item Level:

1

Item Owner:

Murphy

With only a few other modifications, I quickly had my hammock secured to the walls so I could clamber onto it. After watching me with an amused look on her face, Fina asked, “How did you do that?”

I grinned wordlessly at her as my hammock swayed back and forth, “It’s magic.”

Kiki covered for me, “Can you summon any other types of beds?”

Eager to prove my worth to the dungeon group, I replied, “Sure. You name it and I can make it.”

By the time I finished displaying my editing skills, we had a four-poster bed for Kiki, a tent for Fina, and an air mattress for Run. The only person left was Kalli, who was examining all of the beds that the others chose.

What kind of bed would you like?

She appraised the hammock that I was swinging on last. I think I want to try that hammock that you are using.

I grinned at her mischievously.

Sure. Hop on.

The girl wasted no time tackling me on the hammock. We were still untangling ourselves when Kiki spoke in group chat. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do over there, kids. Heck, don’t do anything I would do.

Rave was suddenly very interested. What exactly are you guys doing over there? And what floor are you on?