“I should have killed them when I had the chance.”

Blanche only saw his face from the side when Theodore said that, but it was enough to make her freeze. He was showing this cold look again. The one that was so similar to the pure hatred that she had seen in his expression in her nightmares. It wasn't directed at her right now, but she didn't dare to make a noise while he was shaking with anger.

“She won't gain anything from this. As soon as I'm back, I will make sure that she stops spouting her lies for good. Did she think I would just stand by? Even if I don't know what she is planning, I will destroy her plot before she can begin influencing anyone.” Theodore muttered to himself as he balled the hand that was lying on the table into a fist. “How self-assured can she be to believe that she would reach her goal like this. I should just send...” He stopped in the middle of the sentence and closed his eyes for a moment. “I can't. That would only strengthen her supporters.” He slowly opened his eyes and leaned against the backrest of his chair.

Blanche wanted to stay silent, but she couldn't do it anymore. “What happened?”

He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling while responding. “The dowager empress' faction gained power by using some baseless rumors. Of course, she still has the goal to get rid of me to make my brother the ruler. Right now, they are in confinement for treason against the emperor of Artias. They are already at the bottom, so they have nothing to lose. I should never have allowed them to sink their fangs into the political situation in the capital like this. Why was I so stupid before?” His expression was full of rage as he spoke until he paused for a few seconds. Then he resumed after taking a deep breath. “I should have eliminated them when I had the chance, but back then, I was softhearted. I didn't want to think about killing the person that gave birth to me and making my own fourteen-year-old brother watch. But I should have realized that blood relation doesn't mean a thing when the throne is in reach for them. Due to my negligence in the past, I have to deal with their elaborate schemes now, and to not prove them right, I can't even erase my mistakes.”

Blanche observed her lover's face and did her best not to shiver at the hateful expression that could have been directed at her too if she hadn't acted differently from the novel. She took his hand between hers and waited for him to meet her gaze before she spoke up. “What will you do now? You can't just ignore this, can you?”

Theodore shook his head as dejection crept onto his face. “She would gain even more supporters if I don't intervene quickly. I suspect that she is already in the middle of spreading rumors about me and trying to influence other nobles to back her second son instead. I mean, my brother already wrote a letter to the supreme judge, and I know how good he is at convincing people of just about anything. I have to stop this. The longer I wait, the more hostile these attacks will get. Right now, the dowager empress should still be weakened, but if I don't do anything, there will be more assassination attempts than the royal guards can deal with. So, I have to act now. Normally, I could have ignored this, but if she...if she as well...” He shut his mouth for a while before resuming in a quieter tone. “That means that I have to go back to the capital.”

Blanche felt her blood freeze in her veins. If he proposed ending their vacation earlier, it had to be serious. Still, there wasn't anything she could do. She could only support her lover in whatever way was necessary, but regarding political issues, she would be useless. Yet, she would be right by his side to distract him if everything became too much and would cuddle him until he slept. Emotional support was the only thing that she could offer him, but she was more than willing to do so at any time of the day.

In an attempt to calm the both of them, Blanche brought his hand to her face and pressed a kiss on each of his fingers. “No matter what happens, I'm by your side. I will be there to hug you whenever you need it. I might not be able to get rid of that horrible woman by myself, but I can help you deal with the stress.”

Theodore was silent for a few seconds before turning to his lover and lifting his arms. She immediately understood what he wanted from her and stood up to sit down sideways on his lap. As soon as she had wrapped her arms around his neck, he caged her in a tight embrace. He was holding onto her like she was the only thing keeping him anchored without knowing that she was as lost as he was.

Why was the dowager empress causing trouble now? That didn't make any sense. “To Be Empress” covered the events of about one year except for the prologue, which had happened earlier. This meant that Blanche knew what political issues would arise during that year. But at this point, close to six months had passed. Only half of the novel should be over, so she should still have six months in which she was able to foresee the events. However, the dowager empress had never stirred up any trouble herself during the whole book. That had most likely been planned for the future after that, so why was she moving now?

The concubine went through the things she knew over and over again, but no matter how often she did that, there weren't any new clues. She felt a pit form in her stomach as she tried to suppress the panic that was beginning to rise inside her. There were only two possible reasons why this world was diverging so much from the original storyline. Either she was unable to remember crucial parts again, like on that day of the assassination attempt. Or her own actions had shaped her surroundings so much that she didn't even know what she had caused anymore. Was she truly at fault for this development now? Had altering the course of this world enabled the dowager empress to grasp more power?

If so, then Blanche was to blame for Theodore's problems. Maybe she had eliminated his chances for a happy end by interfering with the intended storyline. Maybe the gods were furious with her for meddling with the fate that they had wished for and punished her by harming her lover. Those thoughts made her grasp him tighter, so they were both clinging to each other.

Everything had been going so well. Why was this happening now? She had fought to gain her right to a future full of love and contentment for six months now. Why did the novel decide that changing the world was too much now? That was unfair. She had given her best and never harmed others during that time but made friends and had been kind to anyone.

Did she really have no way of obtaining happiness without destroying Theodore's in the process? Just because she was the villainess?

Blanche desperately tried to keep herself from crying as she buried her face in his neck and bit her tongue. She remained in that position for a few minutes before her lover began absentmindedly stroking over her head. Only then, she forced herself to look up and make eye contact. “I'm sorry that you have to concern yourself with such awful things.”

She wanted to apologize for not being able to warn him and changing the storyline so much, but he wouldn't understand what she was talking about. She herself didn't even understand it fully. Had her being closer to her lover truly influenced the political situation this much?

How?

She had just reconciled with Theodore after a misunderstanding and spoken about her fears for once. After that, she had spent more time with him and prevented him from getting closer to the empress. Apart from that, she hadn't changed much. She had become the friend of Stella and the four others, but that shouldn't have been an issue, right?

As Blanche was about to let her mind wander to other things, she remembered that one of her actions might have directly sent a signal to the dowager empress though.

She had broken off the contact to Sefare and had ended her involvement in his intrigues. Thus, she had prevented their enemies from using the scheme that they had been planning to kill Theodore for years. Didn't that force them to choose another approach? By refusing to act as the tool that they wanted her to be, she had destroyed any hope of them being able to progress like this. So, the dowager empress would have to try something else. In the end, this meant that Blanche was to blame for this predicament.

That realization made her mouth fall open, and she let out a shaky breath. “This...” All of this was her fault. The despair set in immediately, and it felt like the world came crashing down around her.

She had been so blind. How could she have thought that pushing Sefare away would be enough to protect her lover from any intrigues? While being careful around Seraphina, the Duremonts and the Vasquez family, she had completely forgotten that the enemies that she had met were only gears in a huge clockwork, which was controlled by the dowager empress. She should have paid more attention to that.

“Theo, I'm so-”

Before she could apologize, his lips crashed onto hers. One of his hands tangled into her hair and kept her close to him while the other arm was still looped around her waist.

At first, she was reluctant to kiss him back since she felt too guilty for causing his dilemma, even though she had tried to do the opposite of harming him. But after seconds passed, and he still held her close and kissed her like he was starving, she couldn't consider pulling away. How was she supposed to tell him that she blamed herself for his mother's actions?

It wouldn't make sense to him, and she wouldn't be able to endure his reaction upon telling him about her connection to Sefare. So, she was forced to keep quiet anyway. If they both needed each other right now, she wouldn't push him away.

Their kiss ended much later when she wasn't even sure about how long it had gone on at all.

Theodore didn't allow her to catch her breath. He cupped her chin and made her look at him. “Everything that happened in the capital was out of our hands. I have to go there to fix it, but this is mainly because I wasn't strict enough in the past. But I will make up for that now. There is no way that I'll let them take the throne for my brother or the woman that calls herself my biological mother.” He spat out that word as if it was venomous. “It might take a while. A very long time. But I will get rid of them for good. I'll make sure that they will crawl back to the palace they were confined in.” He stared into the distance while he said that last part before turning to her again. “So, don't worry. I know it's hard to believe when I can only repeat the same thing over and over again, but you can trust me. I won't do anything reckless. I still have a few emergency plans for the worst-case scenarios, and while they wouldn't be pretty, they would keep us two from harm. We won't give up no matter what.” The confidence in his voice eased Blanche's uncertainty a bit.

Theodore was a wise emperor. He wouldn't do anything that could cause problems for the nation, and his brother's reign would definitely bring many issues. So, he wouldn't let that happen as long as he had the power to intervene. Right? She believed in him, and she wanted to believe that he would be successful too.

“I trust you with my whole being. I promise that I'll be by your side the entire time so that you never feel like you are alone. I won't leave you on your own with all of this.” She rested her chin on his shoulder and stroked over her lover's hair. For a moment, they remained silent until she spoke up again. “When will we depart? You need to return as soon as possible, right?”

A few seconds passed before Theodore replied. “I can't show them that I am prepared for anything they point at me. I'll stay here for another week so that they won't realize that I get all information this quickly. So, we should enjoy our vacation to the fullest during that time.”

Blanche had expected that they would leave the very next morning, so that was more than enough time to have some fun before returning to the capital. “It's fine. I learned to swim, so our main goal is fulfilled. We can just come here next year too. The residence won't run away.”

“You're right. It won't. I promise that I'll give my all to make sure that we can come here again next summer.” Theodore pressed a kiss on the side of her head before beginning to stroke over her back. He seemed calmer now, but he didn't let go of her for the rest of the day. That was enough to prove that the events in the capital troubled him even more than he cared to admit.

Even though they would only depart in a week, the preparations already began the very next day. Servants were running around with suitcases everywhere. Countless people were packing the things that were less important but might be forgotten if one left them in place.

Blanche didn't have the chance to see those issues very often though. Her lover continued to bring her to the beach, the big tree or other places within the estate every day after breakfast. She only caught a glimpse of the chaos in the morning and evening when they left or returned.

Apart from that, their routine didn't change at all, with the only difference being the emperor occasionally staring into the distance when he was worried about the problems in the capital again.

That was why she was extremely confused when Theodore woke her earlier one day and broke the routine without a warning.

The sun had barely risen, and he was still sitting next to her and stroked over her hair until Blanche opened one eye. “What are you doing? It's way too early.” After murmuring that, she wanted to bury her face in the pillow and fall asleep again, only to be tickled by her lover. She let out a giggle and pushed his hand away but gave up after a few times and sat up. “If you don't have a good reason for waking me, I'll get seriously mad.”

Theodore chuckled at that. “Then I'm glad that I have a very good reason. For that, you have to get up now, but you can sleep in the carriage for another hour.” This was enough to awaken her curiosity.

“We'll go outside the estate?”

Her lover grinned at her. “Exactly. I want to show you something great, but to do that, we'll have to act a bit more inconspicuous today.” He gestured to the neatly folded clothes that he had put at the foot of the bed. “Of course, we can't just go out as the emperor and his beloved, so we'll have to act like we're a wealthy viscount and his wife. I only realized that all of your dresses are rather luxurious when I was trying to find clothes that would be affordable to a viscount that no one here knows. And you only took the less flashy ones with you too, right?”

Blanche scratched her neck and gave him a nervous smile. “Well, that's not my fault alone. I often wanted the prettiest ones when I had a choice, but you also gave me most of them without me saying anything.” She herself had noticed that already when she had attempted to dress more modestly whenever she risked meeting the empress. Trying to find an attire that was simple and didn't make her appear overly elegant at the same time was almost impossible.

Theodore shrugged and combed her hair with his fingers a few times before grabbing the hairbrush from the nightstand and beginning to untangle her locks. “I didn't mean to sound accusing. I only noted that. I think it's good if people see a difference between you and other baronesses or noble ladies in general. These dresses look so good on you too, so it would be a shame not to have you wear them. Besides, you'll be gorgeous in every single attire that you will ever put on. Others would stare at you already, so we can also let you wear what you like.” Before she could argue back, he resumed. “In any case, I found one dress that a prosperous noble lady that isn't necessarily the emperor's lover could own. I have to admit that I took some time to find an outfit for me too. But nothing took as long as discussing with Owen. He is overly scared, you know?”

Blanche could imagine that the head knight's worry was understandable and that Theodore was just feeling too safe again. She didn't say that though and turned her back to her lover so that he could comb her hair better. “So, we'll go outside? How many people will come with us?”

“I managed to narrow it down to four knights, Owen, your maid and a coachman. Any more than that would make it obvious that we're not a viscount family from the countryside that never visits bigger cities.” Theodore paused his movements. “Ah, maybe I should give it to you already, or I will forget it later.” He reached over to the nightstand and lifted a small box to hand it to her before hugging her from behind. He put his lips directly next to her ear, so his hot breath brushed over her skin when he whispered to her. “Open it.”

Curiosity got the better of her, and Blanche unlatched the clasp. She slowly tilted back the cover, only to freeze in place.

Inside the box, there were two little rings. The light golden shanks were beautifully crafted to form an elegant pattern with some additional flowers on one of the rings. A sapphire sat enthroned on top and was accompanied by two smaller pearls on both sides. The rings were so beautiful that Blanche didn't even know what to say. Her mouth opened, and no voice came out.

Theodore rested his chin on her shoulder and took out one of the rings before grabbing her right hand and putting it on her. “Today, we are married after all.”

Blanche still wasn't able to control her voice. She could just turn her head to him and look at her lover as she struggled to maintain her composure. But the fight was already lost. Her bottom lips trembled, and tears that had formed in her eyes were rolling down her face. She didn't even manage to react to the emperor's shocked expression before throwing her arms around with so much force that she tipped him over.

She pressed out a small “I'm sorry” before she lost all control of herself and had to hold her breath to not start sobbing loudly. She felt so stupid for crying about something like this.

Theodore had only given her a ring to hide their identities in public. This didn't mean anything more than that. She knew that he would never be able to marry her and had more awareness of that fact than anyone else after gaining the memories of the novel. Still, she was here sobbing like an idiot because he had given her a ring. Being happy about that wasn't a problem since it was the closest she would ever get to being his wife, but why did she have to start crying?

Now he would think that she misunderstood due to her previous ignorance and would feel the need to clarify that he couldn't marry her. She really didn't want to hear that again, so she would have to be faster than him, which was hard when her throat was already aching.

Blanche collected herself enough to speak but still didn't manage to reach a normal volume. “I'm sorry. I know that this doesn't-” She didn't want to admit that it didn't mean anything either. She made eye contact with her lover as she struggled to find the words to explain that she knew that he couldn't ever be her husband.

But Theodore was faster than she was. He gently cupped her face and raised his head to give her a soft kiss.

In an instant, the pang of regret in Blanche's heart began to fade in comparison to the bliss that filled her upon being with him. She melted into him, and it felt like her whole body became weak. She wouldn't have been able to move away even if she had wanted to do that.

When the emperor separated their lips, she still couldn't do anything but gaze down at him. Theodore reached up and wiped away her tears before returning his lips to the same spot that they had previously claimed. This time, he was more assertive but still had a similar gentleness to before. Theodore slowly pulled back when the air was beginning to become thin and immediately replaced the kiss with a tight hug. Then he whispered into her ear. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I'm sorry.” Blanche gave her best to speak without letting her voice crack, and surprisingly, she had managed to do that for once.

Her lover lowered his head onto the pillow again to make eye contact with her. “Don't apologize.” He took one hand off her back to push them up into a sitting position and leaned over to the side without letting go of her. He grabbed the box, which he had to have dropped when she had pounced on him, and held it towards her.

Blanche hesitantly took it into her hands and looked at him for a moment as she was unsure what she was supposed to do with it. But when he held his hand towards her, it felt like her heart would jump out of her chest. She carefully retrieved the ring from the box and slipped it onto his finger, which was enough to make her tear up again. Before she could truly process the many emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, Theodore put his hand on her cheek and tilted her head up to him to kiss her again.

When they separated their lips, she still clung to him and vice versa. They took much longer to dress and get ready than the emperor had originally planned, but somehow, they still managed to approach the carriage by the time the sun rose.

Blanche was hugging Theodore's arm while they walked to the vehicle, and she intended to continue like this for the rest of the day. If no one here knew them and they would introduce her as his wife if someone asked, she had to use the opportunity to be by his side in public. She could even appear as Theodore's partner. She was wearing a navy dress along with a bonnet in the same color that matched with her lover's clothes, and for once, no one would be able to complain. After all, a viscountess that wore an attire that matched her husband's attire far away from the capital would never be judged for wearing blue since she wouldn't ever be compared to the empress.

The whole time, a radiant smile was plastered onto Blanche's face, which was probably why the guards stared at her. She ignored that. Nothing would be able to make her stop grinning when she had the chance to be Theodore's wife for once. Even though it was just an act, this was enough to fill her with unrivaled euphoria.