《The Emperor's Concubine》Chapter 117: Proof of Love
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When Blanche bid her maid farewell to relax with Theodore, she focused on her cake again. She had to admit that it looked delicious. She was already getting hungry from gazing at it, even though she hadn't been the one to work at all. She turned to Theodore and gestured towards the knife that was lying on the table. “It's your cake, so you have to cut it.”
“As you wish.” Her lover didn't hesitate to comply and sliced two perfect pieces off the cake before placing them on one plate and handing it to her. “One of my arms has to stay on your waist the whole time so that you won't fall. That means that you have to feed me.”
Blanche gave him a smug grin as she pretended to take the first bite for herself. But before the fork reached her mouth, she stopped and held it to Theodore's lips. While he happily chewed, she continued to smile at him. “By the end of the vacation, you won't be able to eat by yourself anymore. Maybe we should return to eating without the other's help.”
The emperor shook his head and swallowed before responding. “No. We already fed each other at home, and it wasn't a problem. As long as we can enjoy eating without anyone watching us, we should use that time properly. But enough about that. The cake is heavenly. As expected of my master chef.” He pressed a kiss onto her cheek, which, along with the compliment, made her stomach tingle.
Blanche quickly returned the favor by placing her lips onto his for a moment. Then she put a little piece of the chocolate cake for herself on the fork. “Let me check whether you are just lying to make me happy.” He wasn't lying.
The cake was delicious. She doubted that her lover liked how sweet it was since the cake was rather sugary, even though she had used less than normal already, but for her, it was perfect. She munched on her piece of cake with a grin while offering Theodore another portion. He accepted it immediately, and she quickly got herself a second bite too. It didn't take long for them to finish the two slices.
After glancing at the cake and the clock, Blanche spoke up. “There are a lot of leftovers again. We could eat another piece, but it's only a few minutes until dinner. We shouldn't have too much cake, or we won't have any room for real food in our stomachs.”
Theodore raised an eyebrow at her. “There is always enough room for dessert, isn't there? We can have dinner and treat ourselves to more cake afterward. Besides, we didn't eat lunch, so we could have even more after that.”
Blanche leaned her head on his shoulder. “Yes, but we had cake for breakfast already. We shouldn't eat too many sweets during our vacation. We need to consume at least some normal and healthy food.” The memory of how they had been eating in the morning filled her mind as she wanted to list how many sweet things she had had, but remembering breakfast gave her a different idea. She lifted her head and looked up to meet her lover's gaze. “Now that we are talking about meals, there is something I would like to discuss. I don't want to eat with the empress. Especially not when you infuriate her with everything you do.”
Theodore simply nodded. “I know. We won't eat with her again.”
The concubine was taken aback by that. Hadn't he wanted to chase Seraphina out of the dining room? Why was he suddenly agreeing with her? “Really? We won't go to the dining room?”
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“We will. But I can guarantee that the empress won't be there. This evening, she'll still be there, which is why we will stay here. But starting from tomorrow, she will eat in her room. We only need to go downstairs before breakfast and do one more thing to annoy her, and she will give up.”
Blanche didn't like the sound of that. It seemed like her lover intended to provoke the empress even more, which she definitely wouldn't enjoy. In all honesty, she was way too satisfied with being favored like that but pushed that thought away quickly. Her lover didn't have any idea how stubborn Seraphina was, so this plan would probably not work out the way he imagined it to. “I doubt that the empress will step aside for us. That would hurt her pride.”
Theodore shrugged. “Not much more than eating with us while we cuddle and feed each other would. She won't endure that for longer than she absolutely has to, so she will retreat as soon as we arrive there tomorrow. I can promise you that.” With these words, he planted his lips on her neck and began gently nibbling on it until she started to squeal. When he lifted his head, she used that opportunity to kiss him softly before slowly pulling away. He met her gaze and showed her a playful grin that made her eye him skeptically.
“I worry about your intentions, Theo. If you plan on provoking the empress again, I'm not in the mood to even come downstairs with you.”
Her lover's lips landed on her neck once more and brushed over her skin while he spoke. “Trust me. I will make sure that we can eat alone from now on. So, I need your assistance one more time.”
Blanche was quiet for a moment after that.
Was eating without anyone else truly Theodore's goal? He had justified not staying in their room by stating that the busy servants had to carry all the things upstairs and that he would like to avoid them slipping. But that didn't explain why they couldn't simply sit in one of the guest rooms near the kitchen. There were enough tables on the first floor. Those mostly had space for less than four chairs, but since they only were two people, they didn't need bigger ones anyway. Why did he have to insist on them sitting in the dining room?
Blanche found that too important not to mention it. “Theo, is this really about the dining room? If you look at it objectively, we could simply go into any chamber on the first floor that has a table. Why do we have to drive out the empress?”
Theodore was quiet for a moment. He kept his face buried in her neck and only lifted his head slightly when he spoke up after a couple of seconds. “You're right, it's not necessarily just about the dining room. It's more because I'm annoyed by her claiming that spot for herself, even though it should be obvious that we would want to eat there. In the palace, she never leaves her room for breakfast. However, she eats lunch and dinner in the big dining room downstairs, even though she doesn't actually need to sit at a banquet table for two dozen people. But that's acceptable since no one else will be there.”
He made a small pause and continued in a voice that dripped with frustration. “However, as soon as we arrived at the summer residence, the empress decided to claim this dining room for herself too. As you said, there are enough other rooms with smaller tables, so she could have gone there to leave the bigger one for the couple that wants their privacy. But she didn't even think about that. Despite expecting us to be considerate of her at all times, she doesn't do the same for us. I'm sick of that. I never did anything when she was like this. When she used her title to justify not being generous and refusing to let other people have or do something they love for no reason. So, I wanted to intervene this time. It's a less important topic, so she wouldn't stir up an argument because of this. This is why I started here. I can show her that she'll have to hold back a bit too if she wants others to do that for her. If similar situations arise later, she might have grasped that concept already and will refrain from quarreling about it too much.”
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That sounded so different from what Theodore had said to his wife in the novel. He had admired her both for her strength and her kindness. Hadn't he once praised Seraphina for knowing exactly when to extend her hand to someone in need and when to exhibit her authority against disobedience? He had said that immediately after a fight between the empress and Blanche in the last third of the novel, which had ended with the concubine being grounded in her room. Despite all of his lover's complaints and extremely harsh words about the other woman, the emperor hadn't said a thing and had just let the empress decide before telling Seraphina those words of praise after the concubine had left, which had just allowed the heroine to underline her stance the next time Blanche had complained. How come that he thought so differently about Seraphina's traits now? Was his judgment truly this guided by his personal feelings?
In any case, it made Blanche happier than it should have. This only proved that Theodore would turn a blind eye to her faults as long as he loved her, but she couldn't help beaming. He didn't care about the heroine. In fact, he even disliked the empress' actions. So, he wouldn't get closer to his wife or attempt to reconcile for now. Didn't this mean that Blanche had successfully changed the course of the novel for good? Right now, it seemed like she had done everything in her power to keep Theodore with her, and it just might have worked.
A firework of emotions bubbled up inside her, and she couldn't help pressing countless kisses onto her lover's face. He gladly accepted them while playing with her hair and kissed her back whenever she gave him the chance without questioning why she was so happy. They were interrupted when dinner was brought, but they didn't care much about that. As soon as the servants left, they went back to showering each other in affection. During the meal, Blanche stayed on her lover's lap, which made her worry about cutting off his circulation, but he didn't complain. They sat at the table until the servants took the dishware and retreated.
Theodore took that as his cue to finally stand up. He put one arm around her back and the other under her legs before lifting her again.
Blanche couldn't pass up that opportunity at teasing him a bit. While he walked, she stroked her fingers over his chest and grinned up at him. “I think Owen was right about you training secretly. You were always able to carry me, but it seems like it's easier for you now. If I look at you more closely, I might see some bigger muscles too. Did you win the hunting competition because of that?”
Her lover put his lips next to her ear and whispered so that his warm breath ghosted over her skin and made her shiver. “Maybe. But I believe that your support was the aspect that granted me victory. Your handkerchief made me extremely lucky.” They reached the bed, and he slowly laid her down on top of the soft blanket. Then he sat up and carefully removed one of her shoes while pressing a kiss onto her knee before doing the same with the other leg. As soon as he had taken off his own shoes, he climbed onto the bed next to her.
Blanche turned onto her side to face him. “But a handkerchief can't make you stronger. Especially not when it's at home while we are at the coast.”
Theodore gave her a triumphant smile as he opened his jacket and reached into the inner pocket. He slowly pulled out a neatly folded piece of cloth, which she would have recognized anywhere. After working on it for weeks, she had memorized the patterns, so she could be sure that this was her handkerchief.
“You have it with you.” A pleasant warmth began to spread from Blanche's chest throughout her whole body.
“Of course. I always had it with me ever since you gave it to me. And it will stay at the same place near my heart.” He gently returned the handkerchief to the pocket before taking off his jacket and putting it on the chair next to the bed. Instead of lying down next to Blanche, he moved on top of her and supported his weight on his arms. He looked down at her with a loving smile that made her heart flutter.
Blanche gently ran her fingers through his hair before pulling him down to her so that he had to bend his arms and come closer to her. She didn't need to invite him twice. Theodore's lips found hers after a few seconds of eye contact. She wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him from pulling away and allowed herself to melt into the kiss. When she loosened her hold on him, her heart was pounding in her chest, and she felt how her cheeks were flushed.
Her lover still continued to caress her even more. He leaned down to lay his lips onto her neck and planted a trail of kisses onto her skin until he reached her collarbone.
Slowly but surely, Blanche got short of breath, and preventing small noises from escaping her continuously became harder. So, she stopped him by putting her hand onto his cheek and guiding him up to bring his face over hers. She took a few seconds to slow her breathing to allow her to speak normally. Still, her voice was a bit hoarse and quieter than she had intended to be. “I promised you a reward for your victory at the hunt, didn't I? I also told you that I would let you choose a reward if you pampered me enough during our vacation. I think you already proved that you will do that. So, I have to keep my word.” She tangled her fingers in his hair and gently pushed him down to meet her lips. As they kissed, she let her hands roam over his back until she eventually reached his chest.
When Theodore separated from her, he didn't show her the playful grin that she had expected. Instead, he seemed very serious. “Are you sure?”
She was taken aback by that question. “What? Of course, I am. I love you. And it's not like we never did this before.” His gaze was fixated on her eyes, and she became a little nervous under his observation, even though there wasn't anything she had to hide in this situation.
Theodore gently brushed his knuckles over her cheek before putting one of his hands against it. “I don't want you to force yourself to do anything if you don't feel like doing it.”
Blanche couldn't hide the small frown that appeared on her face. “I don't understand what exactly you mean. I was the one that instigated this now. Why would I do that if I didn't want to...” She cut herself off and scanned his expression before quickly resuming. “If you aren't in the mood, it's fine. You can just tell me.”
“That's not it. I worry about you.” He stroked his thumb over the skin under her eye without avoiding her gaze. “For the last few months, you didn't want this. So, I won't rush you by suddenly making you go along with what I desire.”
Those words were enough to cause her to panic. How couldn't she have realized this before? Of course, her lover would notice if she suddenly stopped instigating and allowing physical contact. Blanche had done that for half a year, so her changing her mind had to confuse him. Especially since there was no explanation that she could give him. She had no idea how to come up with a logical cause that didn't involve the novel or hurting him with some excuse. It should have been obvious that he would misunderstand this in a way that made him feel like there was something wrong with their relationship. Why else would she suddenly start pushing away her lover without giving a reason?
She had already hurt him by staying quiet about her feelings and trying to solve their problems by herself while burdening him with worries about her. This only meant that Theodore had been uncertain about even more than she had realized before. Now she would have to correct the misunderstandings she had caused but still didn't know how to justify her sudden withdraw without naming her constant fear of him leaving her.
“I... I... That wasn't... I love you, and that never stopped, so this-” Before Blanche could collect herself enough to speak without stammering, her lover already cut her off by pressing a kiss onto her forehead.
Then Theodore made eye contact again and caressed her cheek with his fingers. “You don't have to give me an explanation. I know why you did that.” He did? How would he be aware of anything regarding the novel? He had to be referring to something else that probably made him blame himself.
“No, you can't know! But I never, never-”
He shushed her softly while stroking through her hair. “Blanche, it's alright. I don't intend to accuse you of anything. I know that this is because of...” He exhaled slowly before breathing in and continuing. “Because of your...nightmares. Ever since you saw those awful visions, you didn't want to be this close to me, and I understand that. That's why I won't do anything until you are sure that you want this.”
And just like that, Blanche felt how the tension fell off her. Her lover wasn't convinced that he was at fault for her actions. The dreams had been her way of explaining why she was scared to him. If he knew that, he understood her basic reasoning.
After gaining the novel's memories, she hadn't been able to imagine spending the night with him while being aware of the fact that he would leave her. She had thought that his devotion for her would fade and that he would shower Seraphina with affection instead. While believing that, there had been no way for her to be intimate with him without sobbing. She would have been sure that this proof of love didn't actually mean anything and that he wouldn't look at her like this for much longer.
But now that she had reached half of the original novel, things were different.
Blanche knew that Theodore's feelings for her weren't as fragile as they had been described to be in the book. She knew that he didn't care for Seraphina romantically and that he wouldn't leave her for his wife at this point in time. She had changed the course of the novel, and she needed to believe that this would affect her fate. Because she loved Theodore and he loved her, they would have their happy ending.
And because of that, she could also discard her fears of him abandoning her. If she didn't believe in their future, how was it supposed to happen? She needed to dedicate every fiber of her being to this reality, in which she had the chance to be with her lover. She wouldn't doubt him.
In fact, she wanted to do the opposite. She wanted to trust him completely and believe that he was striving for the same happy end as she did. So, she wouldn't push him away anymore. She wanted to show him her love, and she wanted to feel his.
Besides, it would be wonderful to be together for the first time after a long while in the time span that was supposed to be an opportunity for the main characters' first night. But instead of being with Seraphina after drinking her oh-so special self-made tea, Theodore was here.
He was with Blanche and looked at her with a gaze that revealed how much he loved her.
Blanche lifted her hands slowly and cupped his cheek while smiling up at him. “I am sure that I want this. I want you, all of you for all eternity.” She gently guided his head down to her. She met him halfway and pressed her lips onto hers in a kiss that was full of all the passion she could muster. When she ended the kiss, she met his gaze with determination. “I love you. That's the one thing I know, and it's all I need to be sure. I'll stay with you until the end of my life.”
Theodore immediately reacted to those words by becoming more resolute. “I won't let that time arrive soon. We'll be together and grow old until the very end. Even in death, I won't ever let you go.” That was everything she could ask for.
Blanche pulled him down to her again. This time, she gave him a soft kiss that held all of her tender feelings. But apparently, that was what convinced her lover.
He pulled back slowly and stared into her eyes. “Tell me if you want me to stop at any time.”
“I won't need to do that.”
Theodore closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in deeply before opening them again and looking at her with those beautiful blue eyes. “I love you.” His voice was hoarse and so full of longing that it only left her with one possible response.
She didn't hesitate to extend her arms and pull him into an embrace. That didn't make him stop saying those words. He repeated them like a mantra over and over again while planting kisses everywhere he could reach. He only stopped talking when he pressed her lips on hers again and allowed the both of them to get lost in the pure bliss of their love for each other.
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