This is a bonus side story from the perspective of the original Saintess, unlocked through Ink donations on Tapas. Chronologically this takes place sometime before Chapter 1.

Are there any other characters you'd like to see side stories about? Let me know in the comments and I might make that a new donation incentive!

Content Warning: Unreality

“The Goddess is punishing me for my wickedness, just as my Father always promised She would…”

The Emperor lay in his sickbed, trembling like a small child with a fever. He had shed a lot of weight since his long illness began, and the once imposing man now appeared fragile and vulnerable. Some weeks ago his impressive beard had apparently begun to fall out in chunks until finally someone had shaved it off entirely, possibly in an effort to try to save some of his dignity as a monarch. He looked like a completely different man.

Still, Saintess Anne wasn’t sure she would have had the strength to remain there listening to the man’s deathbed confessions if Eva and Marshal weren’t there to support her. She was sitting in a stool by the Emperor’s side, and Marshal was standing behind her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. Eva stood a respectful distance away, watching from the corner.

It meant a lot to Anne to have them with her.

It was difficult to listen to the Emperor speak, and not only because he was a wicked man who had hurt so many people. That was hard, yes, but it was the job of the Saintess (when there was a Saintess) to hear confession from the highest ranked people in the nation. And the Goddess had the potential to forgive all who asked for forgiveness. It didn’t actually matter how Anne felt about the whole situation on a personal level—she was just acting as a stand in for the Goddess.

Ultimately, it was the Goddess who would decide whether or not the Emperor deserved forgiveness. After his approaching death, he would face the Goddess and she would judge the worth of his soul. Of course, it was tough to accept that the Goddess might actually choose to forgive in this case, but that wasn’t Anne’s problem. There wasn’t anything she could do about it either way. This was just part of her job. She had come to terms with that.

But what made the whole situation even more difficult for Anne was the strange sense of deja vu she felt, and the eyes she could sense watching her.

Later, Anne found herself in a courtyard somewhere. Marshal was kneeling down on one knee in front of her. Eva was standing off to the side, half in shadows, smiling.

Anne felt a bit lost. Wasn’t she just talking to the Emperor? Had he died already? Anne couldn’t remember how she had gotten from there to here. It felt abrupt, absurd even. Where were the connecting joints from one scene to the next? Where were the mundane, boring, slow, quiet moments that made up a life? Had she set them down somewhere and lost track of them, the way one might do with a book or set of keys?

But Marshal was talking. She had to pay attention to what he was saying. It might be important later.

“Anne… my Anne…” Marshal held Anne’s hand to his forehead gently and reverently, like it was a precious thing. “I thank the Goddess every day that She placed you in my path. I was a wicked man, once, as the Emperor had been, and I might have ended my life in the same way if you hadn’t shown me how to be better. When we are married we will show the whole Empire how to be better. Together.” Marshal kissed her hand and looked up at her.

Marshal had been such a proud, closed-off man when Anne had met him. But now his expression was gentle and humble, almost pleading. He really had changed. Was it okay to believe in his promises? Believe in his love?

Anne glanced over at Eva, who nodded just slightly.

Anne had spent her whole life with Eva. Eva was her first friend, the one who had always been there for her during hard times. And she was so smart. Smarter than Anne. Anne was often confused, especially recently. But she always trusted Eva to know the right thing to do.

Like, once, when they were younger, Anne and Eva had sneaked out of the church to go on a fishing trip with Agis and they’d become incredibly lost on the way back home.

“Is this the magic of the Sacred Forest?” asked Anne, nervously glancing around at the trees.

“Nah, it couldn’t be,” said Agis, with a dismissive hand wave. “We’re children of the forest after all! I’ve never, ever gotten lost in the forest, and since you’re my sister, you would never get lost in the forest, too! The forest wouldn’t do anything to harm us!”

“But…” Anne lowered her voice to a whisper. “…we have a human with us, too.”

Anne pointed ahead to where Eva was determinedly marching forward through the tall grass, a serious expression on her face. If Eva wasn’t smiling, it meant their situation was truly dire.

Suddenly Agis looked nervous. He lowered his voice, too. “Well… I still don’t think the forest would do anything to harm us just because we’re with a stinky human. Our presence would protect her, right? The forest wouldn’t punish us for being with her, right?”

“Why are you asking me?” said Anne. “I’ve lived in the church my whole life, I don’t know anything!”

“We’re not even close to the borders of the Sacred Forest,” snapped Eva. “These are just regular woods, and we’re not magic lost, we’re just lost lost.”

The sun was starting to set and the thought of being lost in a mundane way wasn’t particularly comforting, either.

Eva looked at Anne and Agis and clearly picked up on how freaked out they were. She sighed deeply, and then her comforting smile was back.

“Let’s take a rest here for a moment,” said Eva. “We’ll say a prayer to the Goddess and she’ll show us the way back home.”

Agis scoffed, but Anne sat down next to Eva, grateful to have a chance to rest. She wasn’t used to doing this much physical activity and she was aching all over.

“Maybe I should take up some form of exercise when we get home,” said Anne, hugging her knees to her chest.

“We could play games together,” said Eva, putting her arms around Anne, keeping her warm in the evening chill. “We could invent a sport to play in the courtyards at the church.”

Anne laughed. “There would be such a scandal! Imagine young acolytes, running around playing undignified ball games.”

“Why shouldn’t we?” said Eva. “We’re still kids after all.”

They both knew it wouldn’t be allowed, but it was fun to think about anyway.

Anne sighed. The ground was hard beneath her, digging into her tail bone, making it almost as uncomfortable to sit as it had been to walk. And the air really was chilly, despite Eva’s closeness. The air already smelled of Autumn, although it was still summer for a short while yet.

Wait, why could she feel and smell things so clearly? Wasn’t this a memory?

“This already happened, didn’t it?” Anne mumbled, under her breath.

Eva, who had been resting her head on Anne’s shoulder, looked up, a concerned expression on her face. “What did you say?”

“This has happened before,” repeated Anne, louder.

“What are you talking about?” asked Agis. “We’ve never gotten this lost before.”

Anne just shook her head.

Were those scenes with the Emperor and the Grand Duke a dream then? They felt just as real. It was getting harder and harder for Anne to tell the difference between past, present, and prophecy. Memories of the future. Dreams of the past. It all felt the same. Anne couldn’t piece them together, couldn’t place them in order, couldn’t see the connections between them anymore. It was all jumbled. It was repeating.

And always, always, she could feel the watchers. The eyes following her wherever she went.

Not quite wherever she went. But the moments that were real. The ones she could remember clearly. Or relive again. The repeating moments. Those moments came with eyes.

Eva placed a hand on Anne’s cheek and she startled, looking over at her friend.

“Anne, are you okay?” Eva asked, looking her in the eyes. “I know you’re nervous about getting home, but I promise I’ll have you back home in your warm bed again soon, alright? You won’t have to spend the night out here. I’ll make sure of it.”

Wait… this was different. This wasn’t how it had gone before. They hadn’t stopped to rest for long. Eva hadn’t spent so much time reassuring her. They’d only rested long enough to say a quick prayer and then they had been back on their way. They went straight home after that, like the Goddess really was guiding them. Anne had only been a little bit nervous—after all, Eva was with her, so she knew she was safe.

“It’s changing,” said Anne. She quickly scrambled to her feet and began walking determinedly into the woods.

Anne could change things. She could make it different. She had never just gone off into the woods by herself before. This was new.

“What the—?“ said Agis as she rushed past him.

“Anne, what are you doing?” asked Eva, chasing after her. “I don’t think that’s the right way. Let’s just say a prayer and then we can—“

Anne bolted away as fast as she could. Her muscles were screaming at her to stop and she was breathing heavily and she almost tripped several times, but she felt like laughing.

She spent so much time trying to blend in, trying to do what was expected of her, trying not to let anyone know how simultaneously lost and trapped she felt, but what if she did the exact opposite? What if she just embraced the confusion? What if she let herself be guided by chaos? What if she didn’t let the memories catch her?

When the physical exertion became too much, Anne finally stopped running. She put her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. That run had been exhilarating. She felt giddy. She felt free. She felt—

She still felt the eyes.

Anne turned around and looked directly at you.

“Stop looking at me!” she shouted. “Stop it! Go away! Leave me alone!”

Eva stepped up behind Anne, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll never leave you alone. I’ll always be right here beside you to look out for you. I know you’re scared, but it’s going to be okay. I promise. I prayed to the Goddess and she showed me the way home. Come on, let’s get you home.”

Eva took Anne’s hand and started to guide her through the woods, continuing to speak about this and that and nothing in her gentle voice, like she was trying not to scare a wild animal.

“I have to get out,” Anne muttered to herself. “I have to get out. I have to get out.”

One pair of eyes was unhappy. Anne could feel it. They didn’t like the fate of the sad rich girl Anne hadn’t met yet. Or had they met a thousand times before? The eyes thought it was unfair for the rich girl to die. Anne didn’t think it was fair, either, but what was she supposed to do? Every time she tried to change things it ended like this. She always felt like her mind was about to shatter, and she was barely holding herself together as it was. Even if she wanted to push her luck, something… someone… always pulled her back on track before she got very far. And she let herself be pulled back. She was too afraid of the consequences if she pushed it past the point of shattering.

But the eyes seemed to think they could do a better job in her shoes.

Anne smiled. “Are you braver than I?” she mumbled.

If she worked in secret, if she didn’t let on how much she knew, if she played her role well enough up until the very last second, maybe she could find a way out after all…