《Dungeons Are Bad Business》Chapter 56: The Menagerie Takes Shape
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Vee stared at the growing menagerie in awe. So dramatic was the transformation of the rocky, abandoned lot that the [Dungeon Master] wasn’t entirely sure that he could trust his eyes. Somehow, in the span of only a few days, Kai had managed to cover the ground with tall, verdant grass and the perimeter of warding hedges were already up to Vee’s waist.
What’s more, there were tiny patches of grass and yellow flowers popping up out of the ground along the street leading away from the menagerie. Vee was fairly certain those hadn’t been there when Kai started working, and he briefly wondered what it meant.
“What do you think?” the bonsai treant asked, hopping up out of his barkbody and folding his tiny arms across his chest. Kai smiled, a fiercely proud gleam in his eyes.
“I’m at a loss for words…it’s incredible,” Vee said. “I was only expecting there to be a few scraggly shrubs, and maybe a little bit of grass. Certainly nothing like this. You’ve really done something incredible, Kai. Thank you.”
He reached down and gave Kai a handshake, though it was more of a fingershake due to the difference in their sizes.
“Will this keep the skeletons and slimes in check?”
“Of course,” Kai said, puffing out his upper branches. “I’m going to grow a special enclosure for the slimes once the basics are done. Go ahead and test the strength of the warding hedges for yourself!”
Vee did so, reaching down to the jade colored leaves with his right hand. He didn’t feel anything unusual until his fingers were about an inch away from the hedge and something like a pane of glass stopped him from moving any further. Grunting, Vee pushed against the barrier and managed to brush his fingers against the springy hedge. It felt…oddly smooth but deeply uncomfortable, and Vee felt much better after snatching back his hand.
He looked over at Kai, who nodded.
“Pretty tough, huh? Once the hedges are fully grown, you probably won’t be able to touch them anymore. The skeletons will be trapped in here!”
Kai let loose a giggle that was just a hint on the maniacal side, and looked slightly embarrassed when he noticed Vee’s raised eyebrow.
“Sorry, I got a little carried away there.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Vee said. “What are those little things at the base of the hedges?”
“Warding mushrooms. They’re great for protecting the base of the hedges from pests that can otherwise get through the barriers.”
“Are there many things that can do that?”
Kai rustled his top branches. “Some snakes and a few types of spiders. Every kind of warding plant is ineffective against certain things. That’s why all [Grove Caretakers] grow the hedges, mushrooms, and ferns together. They all support each other and make for a powerful barrier that’s not easy for anything to get through. I’m going to wait a little while on the ferns though until the mushrooms are better established. Right now, they’re still a touch vulnerable.”
Vee knelt down to look at the warding mushrooms for himself. Admittedly he didn’t have much of an eye for these things, but they didn’t seem terribly vulnerable to him. Warding mushrooms were small, squarish things, with a fuzzy golden patch atop their white caps that looked vaguely like a shield. Nothing stopped him from reaching towards them, but when his finger brushed a slender stem, the entire world seemed to be made of rippling water. Vee recoiled as the hedge bobbed up and down as if being carried by an invisible wave and his vision turned shades of purple, pink, and green. Phantom music filled his ears, a slow and haunting tune that made him tremble and sweat.
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[Guts +1]
[Wit -2]
Kai bounced over to him and lightly punched Vee on the shoulder. There was a flash of green light and the [Dungeon Master]’s vision returned to normal. He was on his back looking up at the sky. Kai appeared in the corner of his eye and loomed over him, glaring down with a stern expression.
“Did I tell you to touch those? No! They’re not safe for humans! You could have died!”
You’re telling me. Vee rubbed his eyes and licked his lips. His mouth was oddly dry, and he wished that he’d brought some water with him.
“Sure seems like there’s a lot of anti-human measures in those wards of yours,” he said thickly. “What’s the deal with that?”
“Too many of your kind don’t know how to temper their greed,” Kai said. “Long ago, before I sprouted, humans used to come to the grove and steal its bounty for themselves. They didn’t care if their harvesting hurt the plants, all they were concerned with was getting as much stuff as they wanted. As such, the elders of my grove devised these wards to protect nature’s bounty so that it could be enjoyed for years to come.”
Vee sat up and shook his head. He still didn’t feel totally back to normal. “Stupid people, huh?”
Kai nodded. “Thankfully you don’t really seem like one. I doubt the [Oracle] would have wanted me to join you if you were.”
He reached down to the ground and pressed his arms into the grass. There was another flash of green light, and a tiny blue blossom popped up out of the ground. The bonsai treant picked it and handed it to Vee.
“Here, eat this. It’ll help you feel better if you’re still suffering from the mushroom’s ward.”
“What is it?”
“We call it fairy petal in the grove, but I imagine you know it by a different name.”
Vee squinted at the flower. “Nope, I’ve never seen anything like it before. Juniper would probably know though."
With a shrug, Vee tore off one of the petals and popped it into his mouth. It tasted like vanilla ice cream, and he eagerly devoured the rest. It did in fact make him feel better, and also soothed his dry mouth.
After thanking Kai, Vee turned his attention elsewhere in the menagerie. Standing near the back were two tall creatures made mostly out of grass. They were thin and their arms were comprised solely of leaves that looked an awful lot like swords. Vee pointed at them.
“What the heck are those things?”
“Oh, those are my [Sprout Guardians],” Kai said. “Normally they’re a lot smaller, but since I’ve kept them summoned this long they’ve grown a lot bigger than usual. They’ve been helping me trim the hedges as they grow.”
Vee liked how fierce they looked. He imagined having some of them in the dungeon and smiled. “How long does it take for them to grow? How many can you have active at once?”
“Those took a few days with constant infusions of green energy. I can only have two tethered to me at once, and if I separated myself from them, they’d probably wither away too quickly to be of much use inside Crestheart. They’re plants, you know?”
Vee thought for a moment. If all the [Sprout Guardians] needed to keep from withering was a connection to a source of green energy, then maybe…
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“Could you bind them to a storage crystal?”
When Kai gave him a confused look, Vee explained the newest addition to Crestheart’s team and the treant looked at the [Sprout Guardians] for a long while before shaking his top branches in discomfort.
“I don’t know how it works for other elements, but I don’t think green energy should be contained within a crystal. The idea makes me uncomfortable.”
“But, why? What’s wrong with –“
Reginald’s brim tightened around Vee’s head. “Green energy doesn’t like being bound, boss. Unlike fire, water, or wind, green energy is alive. It wants to move, it wants to grow, and bad things happen if you try to seal it in something as rigid as a crystal. Trust me on this one, drop it.”
Kai beamed up at Reginald, and Vee didn’t mention the matter further, though his curiosity was still gnawing at him. He’d talk to Juniper and Hanako later and see what they thought. Come to think of it though, he couldn’t recall ever seeing any green energy enchantments. Bizarre.
The bonsai treant was giving him a peculiar look, so Vee decided to change the subject. Looking over at the corners of the menagerie, the [Dungeon Master] noticed a large pile of clippings. “What’s the deal with those?”
“Just some bits of warding hedge and mushrooms,” Kai said as he turned to see what Vee was pointing at. “Leftovers from pruning. I’m probably going to spread it around the base of the hedges when I go to start growing the ferns. Why do you ask?”
“Do they still work as wards?”
“Sure,” said Kai. “But probably not for long. They’ll deter stuff for…maybe a week or so.”
“And how often do you need to prune?”
“Every day!”
“Is it safe for me to touch them?”
“Sure. The wards are weak enough that you shouldn’t have any issues. They really lose their potency pretty quick once they’re out of the ground.”
Vee walked over and picked up a handful. Thankfully, he didn’t suffer any adverse effects from handling them. Grinning, his thoughts turned to the city. There were still plenty of bugs buzzing around, and that one shopkeeper had mentioned the rodent problem too. Even if the wards in the clippings weren’t perfect, there was definitely a product here. A niche that he could fill! An opportunity for another stream of revenue.
Vermin-repelling potpourri.
If he could get Juniper to add some other oils and petals to help people think it smelled nice, something in the back of Vee’s mind whispered to him that he’d have a real winner on his hands.
He explained his idea, and asked Kai to deliver all the cutoffs he had to the tower, if it wouldn’t hurt the menagerie hedges too much. He didn’t want to be seen as taking away something the hedges needed to grow.
“That’s fine,” Kai said. “I’ll bring them over tonight once I finish up here.”
After saying goodbye, Vee returned to Crestheart with a spring in his step.
They sky was turning black as Vee approached the tower, and he hoped that he wasn’t too late to get back through the gate.
Alforde was waiting for him outside, and the armorsoul clearly had the same thought. The friends ran back to the city as quickly as Vee could, and though the [Dungeon Master] was panting by the time they reached the gate, being let back into the city proper was well worth his efforts.
It’d been a good day, all things considered, and as they made their way back to Sculla’s, Vee and Alforde had a pleasant conversation. Vee explained the slime cleaning venture and told the armorsoul about his plans to make and sell potpourri, and Alforde reported that Shadowforde was an excellent teacher.
“I still don’t have [Give No Ground] back, but I learned [Pauldron Smash] instead! It’s a really great skill, and I can use it offensively and defensively. Plus, I’ve almost got all my Might back too!”
“That’s great,” Vee said, glad to see how happy his friend looked. “Do you think you’re going to be ready to start fighting adventurers again soon, then?”
“Definitely,” Alforde said. “Shadowforde says that he’s got some other things to show me, but I should be able to resume my duties in a few more days.”
A few more days, huh? Well, that was fine, since it didn’t make any sense to try and reopen before the special event.
Vee sighed.
He still had to do some planning for that too. I’m really sorry about this, Future Vee. I’ve left you a bit of a mess.
Once they were back in their room at the boarding house, Vee dug around his pile of books from the library until he found his monster manual. It was a few years out of date, but in his experience, that didn’t really matter much. The field of Monsterology didn’t generally change all that much, and like textbooks of higher education, the publishers recycled ninety percent of the content or more from one edition to the next. They simply changed the diagrams a little bit, added a few extra blurbs, and continued charging full price for information that was decades old. The underlying facts he was interested in hadn’t changed.
Flipping the time-weathered pages, Vee turned to the section on slimes and started to read. He wanted to get a better idea of what exactly he’d stumbled into.
Main Character Sheets:
Vee Vales:
Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 23
Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 14
Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 4
Might: 10
Wit: 26 (-2)
Faith: 18
Adventurousness: 6
Ambition: 9
Plotting: 13
Charisma: 7
Devious Mind: 14
Leadership: 14
Guts: 11 (+1)
Intimidating Presence: 7
Citizenship: 11
Public Relations: 2
Alforde Armorsoul:
Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 19
Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 11
Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 11 (+1)
Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 2
Might: 26 (+1)
Wit: 10
Faith: 24
Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8
Endurance: 13 (+1)
Intimidating Presence: 9
Heart of a Champion: 3
Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 5
Vigilance: 4
Reginald:
Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???
--~[email protected]%[email protected] &% T*$ Be !#$g (#$%#$%#[email protected]!)~--, L$#@& ????
Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 36
Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 8
Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 4
Might: 1
Wit: 27
Faith: 10 (+1)
Ambition: 25
Greed: 21
Deceptiveness: 29
Manipulativeness: 34
F^#$#$%@#
Loyalty: 41
^^^^^^^^^^^
[*--__#4%_--------]
Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 3
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