-Life is pain. Please just end me.-

-My lady. Is a cold.-

-Yes, and it has ravaged my body. Please Mili, I’m only asking for mercy.-

She visibly sighed.

-Is only three days. You get better soon.-

I waved her off.

-No, I swear I can see the light.-

I signed before extending my hand toward an imaginary point in space.

-Where is you learn weird words like that? Sit up already.-

She signed in a defeated look as I posed dramatically on the carpet of my dad’s office.

I let my arm drop at my side and stared at the wooden beam of the ceiling. After the storm a few days back, I had essentially been secluded to this room due to the terminal illness known as “a cold”.

As it turns out, one of those infamous ‘lightning’ things which made the shadow monster image appear on the walls struck a tree close to my room. The branches of which went flying everywhere and broke several things around the estate. Including my bedroom window.

So there really were no monsters… Unless the lightning was a lie to reassure me, but I haven’t seen any monsters since, so it probably wasn’t.

The damage to the window was pretty substantial from what they told me, and so, while they repaired it, I was staying in the office.

They had apparently checked for another room for me to stay in, but my dad was worried that they might be too dirty and cold and that it would impede on my health. So, in the meantime, I was to stay in his study where the sofa had been fully fitted into a bed for me to sleep in.

At first I had been pretty excited to be able to spend all day with Lionheart, but, as it turns out, he didn’t spend his entire days here and when he was present, he was often buried in his work.

He did seem to make it a point to come talk or play with me before he left the room or when coming back… Not that there was much to play with.

I looked down at the board, observing the pieces. She was teaching me a game she called ‘Joust’. Played on a chess board. Each player had 4 ‘jousters’ pieces and 7 ‘fences’ which were placed across the board.

The game played a bit like chess, but you could only move the jousters. The fences were used to either hide behind or jump over.

When attacking another jouster, you had to flip a coin to see whether or not you defeated them. So it was an equal part luck and strategy game.

I looked over the board trying to remember where I was at.

Oh what’s this?

-I’ll charge your jouster with this one.-

I said before picking up the coin, but Mili shook her head.

-Can’t. You piece facing the wrong way. Need to reach other side of board.-

I clicked my tongue before dropping on my back which moved the mucus in my throat uncomfortably, sending me into a coughing fit for a few moments.

Once I had regained my composure I lifted my head.

-This game has too many rules!-

Mili stood up and looked down at me with an arched brow.

-You just sore loser.-

I grunted at her response and turned to my side to stare at the fire.

The yellow and red flames licked the burning log tenderly as sparkles lazily flew upward.

Fire is surprisingly pretty. It wasn’t the first time that I was seeing fire, of course. There had been a fire growing either in the fireplace of the estate or hearth of the orphanage, but they had always been covered or out of the way. Treated like a tool more than a decoration.

I closed my eyes and let the warm wind caress my face.

I wonder why fire is so… Different?

It’s the only thing other than the sun that can make light, make heat, turn ingredients into food… Isn’t that just weird? How would life work if there wasn’t any fire? Would we starve? Wouldn’t we just freeze to death every winter?

You’d think there’s a god of fire or at least the sun, but no! Nothing! It just is! Why is that? Maybe I should ask Jade next time we meet. After all, she knows everything about the gods and what not.

Mili laid down beside me, blocking the fire from my view, and turned her freckled face toward me.

She mouthed something at me that looked like a question.

-What?-

I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Probably realising her misstep she hurriedly signed.

-You bored?-

Bored? That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one. Joust is fine as far as board games go, but after losing the last four matches, I’ve had my fill for the next month. Boredom felt like such a foreign concept to me. The only time in my life I had ever felt actually bored was in this household in the last few days.

I think I might also have been a bit bored when I was recovering from my fall all those months ago, but between fatigue and Goldie’s presence, I had never dwelt on it.

Why am I bored anyway? There’s things to do in the room. Plenty of board games, Darkie, Sparrow and Mili. I have everything I need to stay busy, but somehow I didn’t want to play. I wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. Maybe in the garden, in town or even the church, but I was forbidden to leave this room until I got better.

-Yeah. I’m bored.-

I finally answered.

She pursed her lips into a sympathetic smile before laying on her back and looked up at the ceiling for a moment with her deep blue eyes. She stared intensely, seemingly deep in thoughts before jumping back on her feet in a singular motion. I sat up in suprise as she confidently strode toward the door. Curious. I watched her turn the handle to leave the room

-I back in a minute.-

She signed with a confident expression on her face.

Seems like she just thought of something after all. Well I guess it’s worth trying whatever it might be.

As I sat around, waiting, I looked over the chess board, where the Joust game remained unfinished. How did she beat me so easily every time?

Joust was easier than chess by a mile and I wasn’t getting beaten to a pulp like when I played checkers with Dalton…

Dalton.

Something shook in my mind and my vision became fixated with the chess pieces.

For a moment, I was back at the estate. Not in the darkened and boarded up room, but in my normal bedroom. The warm summer sun illuminating the curtains, Goldie sitting on the couch folding clothes and, right in front of me, Dalton.

It was strange now that I thought of it.

Why was it that I never thought about Dalton?

I clearly remembered that woman and that man. I clearly recalled Ela and the things we did. Knox was always a bit distant, but I always had fleeting thoughts of him when I looked up at older boys at the orphanage.

But Dalton…

He was a consistent figment of my memory. In the back of every scene, not doing anything, always quiet. Before the accident, we had spent much of our time together. Playing games, running around and pulling pranks on the servants, but never do these memories surface.

Only right now, facing a chessboard do I think of him.

Now that I thought about it, wasn’t he odd? Dalton was a little bit less than a year younger than me, but he was still only four years old the last time I met him. How was it that he was so good at those games?

I looked up and stared at the blurry memory of his face. The details were muddled. I couldn’t remember how round his jaw was, how big his cheeks were, but the intense look of his pink, near silver, eyes was still as clear as ever.

He must be five-years-old now. The same age I was when I last saw him. I couldn’t stop wondering why a boy younger than me had such an intense look behind his eyes? Do I misremember? Maybe he was just a normal boy who happened to not be as horrible at board games as I was? But my memory was unwavering.

Dalton was smart.

He had never gotten angry at me even when I didn’t answer when he spoke to me. He hadn’t wanted to use the stick… Not like the others.

I felt my eyes tickle as tears formed. I quickly wiped them away in case someone came in and when I looked in front of me again, Dalton was gone. Only the half-played joust game remained.

Dalton. Goldie.

I suddenly missed them.

Without any warning, the door swung open, completely distracting me from my earlier worries. Mili proudly stood, smug smile and all, in front of me, her arms filled with papers and boxes.

She carefully placed a pile of blank papers and focused her attention on the two small wooden boxes. She looked up at me expectantly, but I was completely clueless as to the content of the box and simply tilted my head, but this must have been as per her expectation since her expression only turned more smug. In one swift motion, she removed the top of the two containers, revealing their content.

Rows of colourful sticks.

I looked up at her, confused.

-We going to draw!-

Draw? Like… Making paintings?

-But this doesn’t look like paint…-

She smiled warmly at my confusion.

-Colour oil stick! Look, I show.-

Mili signed.

She laid down on the ground on her chest and hovered her hand above the coloured sticks. She finally picked a dark blue colour. She brought it to the paper and started tracing lines and slowly I started recognising the familiar outlines. She took other coloured sticks and added more and more things to the drawing.

She showed me the result and I was mesmerised. It was a face! I didn’t know Mili was an artist! She’s so good!

-It’s so pretty!-

I exclaimed as I jumped to my feet excitedly.

She smiled and handed me the drawing. I looked over the drawing fascinated.

-Who is it?!-

-Is you!-

-It’s me?!-

-Yes, you!-

It’s me! I’m in a drawing! I’ve never been in a drawing before!

-What are the red things on the side?-

I asked while pointing at the strange shapes surrounding my face on the paper.

-Hearts!-

Hearts? Like… Organs?

-Is… Is that what they look like?-

She snorted and let out a muted laughter.

-No! No! Not real hearts. Is drawn heart. We draw hearts around things we like.-

Hearts around things we like… I remember people saying love comes from the heart, so I guess that makes sense.

-Want to try?-

She asked me.

I nodded, but then froze.

-But I don’t know how-

-Come, I show!-

She invited me to the spot beside her.

Excited, I quickly laid down at her side and she started teaching me the ins and outs of ‘drawing’.

It was difficult at first, and I wasn’t too sure I liked my drawing as much as Mili’s, but she seemed rather pleased with my work so I kept going. I added Darkie which she didn’t recognise until I pointed at the bunny who was sitting in front of us. Her eyes lit up and the girl gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up. She looked over my drawing before clasping her hand in an exaggerated fashion.

-You forgot someone!-

-I did?-

She nodded seriously before extending her hand and pointing right at me. I tilted my head in confusion before realising she meant me. I hastily put my nose down to the drawing. After a bit of work, I finished drawing myself, but something felt like it was missing… I looked at her drawing and realised I forgot the most important part!

I dug through the box of oil sticks and found a dark red. I then tried my best to trace the cute hearts above everyone’s head. I looked once more at my work and satisfied, I presented it to Mili.

She clapped excitedly.

-I love drawing! Is very cute! You even draw hearts!-

She exclaimed between two rounds of applause.

I smiled and puffed my chest.

-That’s because I love everyone!-

-Even me?-

She asked curiously as she pointed her index finger at herself to which I nodded confidently.

She delicately took the drawing from my hands and looked it over with a smile. She held it against her chest and signed to me.

-Can I keep?-

I felt confused. Why would anyone want to keep a drawing like that? Her drawings were much better.

-Why?-

-Because that makes it a gift, and that makes me happy! Here, I give you my drawing, so we both get gifts!-

You can give drawings as gifts? That’s pretty fun!

I looked over her drawing and felt a smile draw on my face. It felt surprisingly good to receive a drawing as a gift…

Wait… That just gave me an idea!