-Goodnight, my lady. Have good dream.-

Mili signed after tucking me into bed, Darkie at my side.

-Goodnight, Milie. See you tomorrow.-

She smiled and headed for the door waving goodbye as she did.

I turned to my side and looked through the window. It was the beginning of summer and the sun was still high in the sky even when it was time for me to go to bed.

I rolled back on my back and lifted Darkie above me, his golden buttons staring straight into my eyes.

I brought him back down to my chest and hugged him tightly.

[Do you think they will ever fade away?]

“Do you mean your scars?”

I nodded while thinking back on earlier.

That is that today, I took my first real bath in months.

At the orphanage and even the estate when I was sick, I only got to clean my body using a bucket of tepid water and a sponge. A real hot bath felt like a dream come true.

After removing my clothes that had become imbued with sweat, tears and snot from my earlier tantrum, I felt liberated. After a few awkward moments waiting, Milie had carefully helped me get into the bath.

At first, the warmth of the water stung my skin, but after a few seconds I had gotten used to the feeling and was able to relax.

I dumped my head underneath the water, letting my worries be washed away by the warmth before re-emerging into the refreshingly cool air of the room.

Using soap and a scrubber, Mili started cleaning me up. At first it felt good and cleansing, but after a bit it became hard and rugged. When her scrubbing started pinching my skin I turned angrily.

-Stop that! It hurts!-

She had a surprised look on her face, but quickly apologised.

-I sorry, lady. But there is a lot of dirt that no wash off.-

-What dirt?-

She lifted my arm and showed me one of the many yellowed and red scars on my arm. I yanked my arm away from her by reflex and hid it beneath the bubbles of the bath.

-It’s not dirt. It’s my skin.-

She looked shocked for a second before looking down in shame.

-Sorry.-

I shook my head and laid back down in the tub.

-It’s ok. I don’t mind.-

I signed nonchalantly, but I wasn’t sure I believed it myself.

Did it truly not bother me at all? Or was it a wall I put between myself and the memories these stains on my body were attached to?

After the bath, the rest of the day went by in a flash.

I had been so out of it that I don’t even remember what it was we ate, but now that I laid in bed, I felt a sudden wave of clarity. So clear in fact, I didn’t even feel sleepy.

I brought Darkie back down to my chest and squeezed him.

Why is it that I feel a pit in my stomach when I think about Mili’s comment? I don’t think I feel angry with her.

If anything, I feel thankful to have such an honest and energetic person around. I feel like we might actually become friends with time.

But her words…

Specifically that word:

‘dirt’

Why does it make me feel so… strange?

I pulled back the sleeve of my nightgown and looked at the scar. There were countless marks on my body, but there was one in particular that stood out; the one on my left forearm. While a lot of them had been surface marks that were fading a bit more every day, this one looked almost the same as it had the first time I laid eyes on it.

Long, bulgy, brownish and pink. It looked ugly. Back when I first arrived at the orphanage, I had picked at the scar since they itched so much after the balm dried, but I had learned to leave them be, otherwise they would start bleeding again.

Right now, staring at it, I didn’t really feel anything looking at it other than a weak sense of disgust.

I brought the arm back down to my side.

Lionheart. What does he think of them? Does he know I have this ‘dirt’ on me? Would he hate it?

I started thinking about what happened earlier.

I really thought he was going to hit me…

But he didn’t. He didn’t at all. He picked me up and hugged me. I think it’s the first time he hugged me…

It was warm. It was nice.

I wish he had stayed longer. Maybe I should ask him to give me my bath next time, that could be fun!

A shadow suddenly covered the room. I glanced toward and noticed clouds covering the setting sun… It’s going to rain tonight. I should go to sleep before it gets dark.

I turned to my side while hugging Darkie and closed my eyes.

I waited for sleep to take me, so my worries could be washed away by rest and a better day to start.

When I was younger, I didn’t feel the same way. Back then, I used to dream at night. I would be transported to fantastical places my sister told me about.

I would go on wild adventures and become a princess, a knight or even a dragon… I would visit places I had never seen and even fly across the sky.

Now that I look back, it was truly a strange experience. Living a life that isn’t mine. Doing impossible things and then just… Waking up.

As if nothing happened.

I felt a wave of exhaustion and, before I noticed, I was asleep.

It felt like only an instant had passed when I felt my bed shake and woke up.

I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t see anything. Confused, I thought that perhaps my blanket covered my face, but when I stretched my arm out, I only felt the cold air of the night.

At the tip of my fingers, a small sliver of light flashed on my nails.

Confused, I sat up and turned in the direction of the light source, but it was gone. The only thing I could see was the contour of the window and the light of faraway lampposts.

Did I wake up during the night? That doesn’t usually happen…

I felt a cool gust of wind pass through my pyjamas. Instinctively, I looked around the room. There usually wasn’t any wind in the room… Did Mili leave the door open?

I looked in the direction of the door, but all I saw was darkness. I kept staring until I could see the rough outline of the door frame and it looked closed.

Strange…

Confused and a bit scared, I laid back down in bed and tried to go back to sleep.

I went to hug Darkie, but I noticed he was gone from my arms.

I reached out further to the side of the bed, but he wasn’t there either.

I looked on my other side of the bed and underneath the pillow, but nothing.

[Darkie?]

I called out in the dark, but no answer. I felt anxious, I couldn’t tell where he had gone… Maybe he went for a walk?

I could try to look for him around the room…

A bit scared, but determined, I poked my foot from underneath the blanket toward the side of the bed. I glanced down, but all I could see was pitch darkness. I shuddered, but still tried to slowly lower my leg down the side of the mattress to find the floor.

It felt like whole minutes passed by as I slowly lowered my foot, but still no floor. When almost half my body was dangling down, I felt another cold breeze wash over me.

The cold made my skin crawl and I retreated back into the blanket.

I want to see Darkie but…

[I’m going to go find you tomorrow, okay?]

Still no answers.

Worried he didn’t hear me and that he would think I abandoned him, I scooched to the side of the bed and looked in the direction of the darkness and repeated.

[Okay?]

Suddenly a bright light appeared on the wall I was facing before disappearing almost instantly.

Surprised, I jumped back and grabbed a pillow to shield me.

Did I imagine it? But I could still see the faint outline on the… A strong vibration ran through my bed. I let out a quiet yelp and hid underneath my blanket.

What’s going on? Is someone breaking the house? Are we under attack?

Worried, I poked my head outside the blanket and surveyed the room from my safe spot underneath the blanket.

I couldn’t see much in the darkness, but if something was…

Another bright light suddenly illuminated the room, and in that instant, I saw it.

On the wall facing me. It was there. Long and broken tendrils for limbs, a large black blob for a body, something was in my room.

And it wasn’t Mili or a member of the household.

What did Mili say about the door in the basement earlier? That led to underground tunnels? Some bad things live underground. Maybe that’s where it came from.

The bed shook again.

It’s crawling around the room. It's coming for me.

I need to…

Before I could finish my thought. There was a flash of light and the ground shook so hard I thought the ground would collapse underneath me.

A strong gust of glacial wind washed over me. I turned around and noticed in my horror that the monster had broken the window.

Wet from the rain pouring through the hole in the window and scared for my life, I jumped out of my bed and ran for the door.

I tried to turn the handle, but I couldn’t grip it with my wet hand. I looked frantically around, worried the monster would strike at any time.

I need to open the door.

I tried to use my sleeves, but they were just as wet. I was finally able to use the hem of my gown to open the door, and stormed out of the room, closing the door behind me.

It should slow it down, but where do I go?

Another flash of light made my heart jump and illuminated the long hallway in front of me.

Think Silika, think! I need to get to safety! I need to get to…

Lionheart! He’ll protect me!

If I remember right, Mili said his room was at the end of the hallway. So I just need to walk straight to get there.

I pushed myself off the door and a shiver washed over me.

My clothes were completely drenched and it seemed that it wasn’t just my room that had breeze in it…

Wait, is the breeze when the monsters get in? But then that means… There might be more. I should hurry!

I walked across the intersection toward the rest of the hallway.

My feet felt as if they were burning from walking on the cold bare tiled floor.

I reached the other side of the intersection and peeked outside the window. The inner garden was completely dark.

From this angle, all I could see was the great hall which was equally covered in darkness.

A great flash of light illuminated the garden and revealed hundreds of long dark tendrils all over the garden… They’re everywhere.

I dropped to the floor to avoid being seen. The fear made me tear up and I could feel a hiccup coming up to my lip and I covered my mouth.

I might not be able to hear them, but they probably could hear me.

I distanced myself from the windows and hugged the wall instead. A soft vibration ran through the hall, but it wasn’t as strong as before.

They must be getting further away, this is my chance.

I continued walking down the hallway passing many doors on my way. During the day I had not noticed, but there were truly many rooms in this house. More than I had ever seen. It made me think that this hallway would go on forever.

A flash of light shone through the darkness but I closed my eyes. I knew that if I looked I would find more monsters and I would freeze from the fear. I can’t stop, I have to get to Lionheart’s room.

As I stood there, eyes closed, the water from my soaked nightgown kept trickling down my body giving me uncomfortable shivers. I opened my eyes once more and started walking, but almost immediately fell forward. The tiles had gotten slippery from the water that had pooled underneath me and now I was sprawled across the floor.

The pain, the fear… It became too much and the tears started pouring like a torrent from my eyes. I couldn’t hold my mouth closed anymore and started crying my heart out.

I glanced back toward my room just as another flash of light illuminated the hallway.

The door. It was wide open.

It got out. It must have heard me.

Terrified, I gave away caution and bolted down the hall and finally reached the last door.

It was bigger and heavier than mine, but I was able to push it open.

[Lionheart!]

I screamed into the room as the heavy door swung open.

I walked inside, but it was completely dark.

[Lionheart?]

I called again, but there was no response.

Maybe he’s asleep?

I was scared of walking into complete darkness, but the knowledge that Lionheart was there gave me courage.

As I walked deeper in, I felt something hard underneath my foot.

Uh?

I bent over and picked it up.

Is that… A hairbrush?

Why is it on the floor?

A flash of light illuminated the room and, to my horror, I understood.

The entire room was upside down. The cabinets, the drawers, pieces of clothing, even the bed sheet. All of it was strewn across the floor.

[Lionheart…?]

Did…

[D…Dad?]

…The monster…?

My body started trembling uncontrollably.

I started stumbling backward toward the exit.

[Lionheart? Dad?]

I looked at my hands, they were trembling so hard they looked like a blur.

Another flash of light illuminated the room again and in the fabric I saw red spots.

A disgusting feeling came up from my guts.

I hurled.

I couldn’t keep it in. My body simply couldn’t take it.

I stumbled back into the hallway. I barely made it to the window before my knees gave out.

Lionheart… You… I…

The two of us… Just became family…

[Dad…]

I whispered to myself.

[Dad…Dad…Dad…]

I started crying uncontrollably. I didn’t care about the monsters. They could eat me, I didn’t care.

I want my dad! I just got him, and never got to call him that! Why did they take him away?

I huddled into a ball and watched as the rain scattered along the window.

By Me (Waurpel)

Why did the monsters do this? Why did they take my Lionheart? Why did they take my dad?

I tucked my head into my knees and squeezed it down with my hands.

I just want to disappear.

To become nothing.

Maybe there I will be reunited with my dad.

As I felt the darkness slowly swallowing me up, I noticed a warm light appearing from the corner of my eye.

For a moment I felt relieved, but it was too late.

I didn’t care about being safe anymore. I just wanted…

When I looked up I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Carrying a lamp, right in front of me, was Lionheart.

[L…Lionheart..!]

I felt a great sense of relief wash over my body.

His face was gaunt and tired, I could ee worry written all over his face.

[I… I’m so…]

I tried to get up but my leg had gone completely limp.

[...Relieved!]

I looked down and closing my eyes. I really thought he was gone for good.

I felt myself being picked up and nestled somewhere warm.

I opened to being held in his arms and slowly rocked side to side. I could feel a soft rumbling on his chest. It felt nostalgic, but I couldn’t tell why.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed as hard as my arms could manage.

[Dad.]

I said in a weak voice

He stood there, frozen for a moment.

[Dad. Dad. Please don’t leave me. Dad.]

After a moment, both his arms enveloped me tightly, and we stayed like this for a long time.