The journey back felt painfully slow. Maybe it was more the wound talking than anything, but as time dragged on, my shoulders grew heavier. It felt as if someone had put lead in my shoes. I stole a glance at the wound.

Yeah, that still looks nasty. Hang in there, Kelmer. We’re almost there.

I’d explained to Tristan as many details from the fight as I could recall, talking myself hoarse with it. Keke left it to him to keep tabs on my consciousness, and there were a few times he clenched and shook my arm with a forceful bark of my name. When I described Jazz’s death, all color left his face. I understood what he was feeling, but there was not much I could afford in the comfort department. It was hard enough to stay the hell awake.

Catania was within sight. I’m sure that we would’ve been able to see it far sooner if not for the smatterings of trees. Keke, Cannoli, and Ravyn picked up the stray herb or weed along the way. And by “pick it up,” I mean basically clotheslined the bush mid-stride. Ceres had made it very clear that rest periods and stops weren’t to be made anymore. We’d already pushed many of our girls to the limit, and it was time that we were back in a Sanctuary.

God knows I need it.

The sting returned, then quickly vanished, leaving behind the flickering sensation of fire in my veins. It’d been like this since we’d started walking. It felt like we’d been traveling for days—which obviously wasn’t possible. But really, who knew how much time had passed.

When we arrived at Catania, many of the girls collapsed on the floor within Jazz’s underground domain. The Sorentina girls abandoned their backpacks to the floor and breathed heavily.

One of the head guards, a limber girl of short red hair and steel-blue eyes, approached Sanaia with a panicked expression. “What in Saoirse’s name happened out there?”

Sanaia paused, then motioned to Erina’s unmoving body with her chin. “We need to get Erina medical attention. Now.”

“This way, then. Please!” The girl gestured Sanaia and Ara past, her stare lingering on Sania’s back for a time.

I put a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Hey. Me too, please,” I wheezed. And then it was my turn to collapse. My axe made a cacophony of loud clanging noises as it went down with me. I was just glad I could break my fall with one arm in time. As much as they’d stressed staying awake, I was desperate for a nap. Any kind of sleep really.

“Heh, a cat nap,” I mused in a mumble, my brain fried from the day.

The girl turned to look at me and cried out, “Oh, goddess!”

“Matt!” Keke rushed to my side, and her gentle hands rubbed against my arm. “You need to get up! You can’t stay down like that. You’ll only make it worse.”

“You’re kidding,” I breathed.

“No! Get up! Please!” said Cannoli, appearing on my opposite side.

“You fucking die on me, and I’ll haunt your sorry ass,” Ravyn added. She moved to stand in front of me, then kneeled down, offering me a generous view of her undergarments.

At least I get a nice view before I die again.

“Hey! Get the fuck up!” Ravyn turned to glare at the girl who greeted us. “Keep an eye on him. Me and these two need to go find herbs for that venom.” She turned back to me. “Because he was feeling awfully charitable today.”

The dark shadow beneath her eyes said I’d made a terrible decision by offering the antivenom to Ceres. Despite the look, though, I held no regrets. As awful as the pain was, I’d do it all over again and then some.

I leaned my back against a nearby wall and used Keke and Cannoli’s strength to return to my feet. The axe could stay where it landed; it’s not like I’d be using it any time soon.

“Allow me to keep watch over my Lord.” Even if I couldn’t see her, I didn’t have to know who just raised their hand. “I know little when it comes to the medicinal arts. Pray, allow me to watch over him. He shall not fall asleep under my watch.”

“What about your arms?” Cannoli asked.

“She’ll be in the same room. We’ll tend to both of them,” the guard said.

Ravyn rose to her feet and looked to where Ceres was. She rolled her eyes, but didn’t fight back. “Fine. It’s your job now. If he dies under your watch, you’re next on the shit list.” Ravyn looked back at me and stared. I don’t know what she was waiting for. A joke, maybe?

“The crow caws at midnight.” No, I wasn’t sure why I said that. I had to assume I was becoming delirious. Almost anything sounded funny to me at this point.

Ravyn raised a brow. “Don’t know what you mean by that, but it sounded stupid. Baka.” She sighed. “Take care of him.”

“What a moron, what a moron, squawwk!” Ball Gag’s painful shrieks were actually a welcomed distraction from the pain, though I can’t imagine the girls were too pleased.

“Get that awful thing out of here!” screamed one girl.

“Quiet, Bally!” I heard Ravyn shout.

Then another person kneeled next to me. “I’ll be back soon.” It was Keke. God, how I missed her touch.

We really need to get a bed together again soon. I’m so tired.

I’d half expected Cannoli to whisper something next, but it never came. I listened as their footsteps grew more and more distant. I caught them leaving through the trapdoor when two more girls replaced them at my sides and leaned my arms over their shoulders.

What a time to be alive.

Under strict orders by Sanaia—and I assume the other girls—I was not to lie down. Sitting upright was my only option. That or standing. I think it goes without saying what option I took.

They’d stripped me down to nothing but my boxers. I was a bit self-conscious about the whole thing, but it’s not like I was in any position to fight. By the time I was in bed, the thought had come and gone—much like my fading consciousness.

Ceres sat in an old wooden chair across from me, reading some thick book as I struggled to stay awake. It was unfortunate to see Ceres’ arms so badly wounded, but thanks to the combined efforts of the Jazz Rescue Squad and the girls we’d borrowed from Sorentina, they were able to get her patched up relatively quickly. While she would heal with time, the armored plates covering her shoulders, biceps, and forearms were irreparably damaged during the fight with the Defiled twins.

Yet, it seemed like I was the only one bothered by all of it. I dwelled on the loss of my shield and how I’d almost lost my axe. My armor was torn to shreds. I was torn to shreds, and although I was still alive, who could truly say that I’d make it out of this? Keke had taken three arrows to the shoulder and was out there looking for herbs, Cannoli was on the verge of a breakdown, and Ravyn was impossible to read. We’d suffered so many losses and still…

Why wasn’t Ceres bothered?

“What are you reading?” It came out as little more than a squeak, but it seemed Ceres had impeccable hearing.

Ceres’ ears flicked in my direction, and she turned the half-finished book around in her hand. “The Conundrums of Sorcery and Medicine.” She turned it back around and flipped the page. “I admit I have been less than forthright about completing it. Your condition has bolstered my desire to see it to its conclusion.”

“Heh. You have a great vocabulary,” I spoke a little clearer that time.

Ceres’ face grew pink. “Thank you, my Lord. It was not without great effort.”

I raised a brow. “You weren’t always like this?”

Ceres paused. Her concentration was obviously waning. “I was not.”

“Sorry if I’m being pushy. I know you’re reading, so I’ll leave you alone.”

A soft giggle escaped her lips. “My Lord, it is for your benefit that I read this tome.” She turned to the next page.

What incredible reading speed.

“For my benefit?” I balked. “Why?”

She raised her brow to look at me. “Does the title not indicate for what purpose it serves?” It took me a minute. Maybe it was the venom kicking in. Maybe I was still an utter moron. Regardless, Ceres was quick to clear it up for me. “Such tonics and remedies are difficult for me to comprehend. Contending with Alchemy is something I do to this very day.” She frowned. “I must remain steadfast. A moment’s hesitation, one incorrect move—” Ceres balled her hand, stretched it, then turned the page. “I cannot afford such mistakes.”

I thought on the weight of her words for a moment. “What about what happened to the Defiled twins? To us? To Jazz and Erina?”

Ceres snapped the book shut and rested it on her lap before taking a deep breath. “It is my firm belief that we did all that was available within our power to do so.” She clapped a hand to her chest. “There was little we could do to predict the movements of such a dangerous foe. That Jazz lost her life in the battle is proof of that. If not for her knowledge, our lives would have been lost. Of that, I carry no doubt, my Lord.”

I blinked. “What do you mean?”

Ceres cleared her throat. “With what we knew, we proceeded in the most cautious way we could manage with regards to our abilities. I would not be so bold as to claim that you are ungrateful or petty. You are fortunate that you still breathe. Carry the flame that has been given to you, my Lord.” She bowed her head. “You would dishonor their sacrifice otherwise.”

Yeah, I was definitely delirious. Tears threatened to fall, but I did everything in my power to stop them. Despite my attempts, I could feel them glossing over, so I wiped at my face with my forearm. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right. Is… that why you’re okay?”

She frowned. “I am not ‘okay,’ my Lord. That is not how I would describe my emotions. If I were to have it my way, I would act in ways unacceptable in lieu of our credo—in lieu of what my father wished for me.” She let one of her arms dangle, holding it at the elbow with her free hand. “It does no soul good to dwell on what cannot be changed. I learned long ago before I— before I was sent to school by my father, that I stood at a fork. I could continue to let the past weigh me down, binding me to the spot, my memories carried like a ball and chain.” Ceres’ expression changed. It was fierce, determined. “Or, I could carry like a torch. To illuminate my path. It would be my guide, my experience. If I could enlighten others, then all the better.”

I laughed dryly. “You’re a saint.” I could feel my eyes growing heavy.

“That is very flattering. Thank you, my Lord.” Ceres gave me a curt bow from the neck. “Do your eyes tire?”

“Yeah. I’m not sure I can stay awake much longer,” I admitted. The pain was getting dull. There were three Ceres’ in the room now, and I couldn’t make heads or tails of any of them. A grin tugged at my lips when I saw the faint images of Keke, Cannoli, and Ravyn behind Ceres.

“Matt! Matt, we got it!” Keke screamed.

The girls arrived beside me as my head lulled from one side to the next.

I hope I wake up.