“Enter,” the voice rang out, full of confidence and authority that his orders would be followed.

Liliana bit back on the hot remark waiting on the tip of her tongue as she opened the door and entered her father’s study. As with Alistair before her, the heavy door swung shut behind her, locking her in this room with a threat far greater than any she’d fought yet. Liliana approached the desk separating her father from her and dipped a low curtsy, holding it for a moment before rising.

“Hello, father,” Liliana spoke up, keeping her eyes averted from him and her voice demure.

“I’m told you were able to bond with a flowered serpent?” Her father asked with no preamble. Liliana bit the inside of her mouth until she tasted blood as fury raged in her.

Not a single word on the assassination attempts. Not a single pretense of care. He couldn’t even bother to ask if I’m alright, just if I managed to perform the task he set for me? How could I have ever deluded myself into believing this man was capable of love, or that I would ever be able to achieve it? This man loves nothing other than his own power, Liliana thought darkly. Taking in a deep breath, she nodded her head.

“Yes, father,” Liliana answered, holding out an arm she mentally bid Nemesis to circle her forearm. The serpent was agitated, undoubtedly affected by Liliana’s own emotions, but she did as she was directed.

“So small,” her father mused.

“She has a larger form, but it’s too big to fit into the manor,” Liliana explained defensively.

“That’s useful then. Is that a Poison affinity I see? That’s quite rare. You did good by taming her,” her father nodded, and Liliana hated herself a bit for the way his words of praise filled her with happiness. How much had the original Liliana craved her father’s affection that such weak words still made this body light up?

“Thank you, father,” Liliana bowed her head and lowered her arm as Nemesis slithered back up until she rested around Liliana’s neck.

“I’ve heard of the trouble you faced while on your trip. The parties responsible will be dealt with. Whoever hired the assassins will be found, and made an example of. For someone to be so blatant about attacking someone from the Rosengarde house, it’s absurd,” her father continued, and Liliana looked up in surprise. Did her father actually care that she’d nearly died?

“The guards responsible for your care who failed will be punished, the Wilde’s will also need to be handled. To allow an assassin so close to you is inexcusable, and it seems they’ve grown complacent with me keeping such a close eye on the borders. This must be rectified,” her father wrote something down on a piece of paper before him, not even looking at Liliana.

“The guards stopped the first assassin,” Liliana spoke up, but her voice trembled. She had never really spoken up against her father. As his cold blue eyes, the same color as her own, settled on her, she struggled to breathe. It wasn’t even the force of his aura pressing on her that made her struggle for breath, it was the coldness held deep in those gemstone blue eyes that robbed her of air.

“After he’d already gotten into your tent. They were only alerted because children had snuck out and seen the assassin before returning. The second time you killed the assassin before the guards ever got to you. The guards are lucky that they’re only being punished and not executed for such egregious negligence. They must believe I’ve grown soft if they think such acts will be excused,” her father spoke softly, but the threat in his words was clear. Liliana ducked her head, no longer able to hold her father’s piercing, emotionless gaze. How was it possible for someone to speak of killing others and not show an ounce of hesitation in their eyes?

Her father wasn’t worried about her. She’d seen that in his eyes that held not a single ounce of warmth or care. He saw this as a slight against him. Her father had tasked the guards with keeping her safe, and several times they’d failed. Their failure was the same to him as if they’d directly disobeyed one of his orders.

“These attempts on your life also show that our enemies have noticed you and taken an interest. I will be increasing the guards on you. You’re not to leave the manor with less than ten guards,” her father ordered, and Liliana nodded submissively.

The only enemy who has taken notice of me is your wife, father. Why don’t you focus more on her? Liliana thought bitterly.

“What about leveling further, father?” Liliana asked, and her father tapped a piece of paper on his desk. Liliana hesitantly took it and looked over it. It was a dungeon form, already filled out with her information and accepted.

“You’ll train at this dungeon come spring, when traveling will be easier. Until then, focus on replying to the invitations you’ve been sent. Many will be interested in you once they hear of your newest Bond,” her father informed her, waving a hand as if to dismiss her. Liliana looked up and opened her mouth. Now was her chance to talk to her father about Imogen and her attempts. She’d gained some of his favor. Perhaps now he would listen to her.

“Father, about the duches-“ Liliana started, but her words were choked off at the glacial glare sent her way.

“I’ve told you before, I don’t care about whatever feud you have with my wife. She is the duchess of this duchy, and you will respect her as such. Do not come to me with your petty nonsense.” her father’s voice was colder than the winter wind rattling the windows. It reminded her of other memories, memories of the last time Liliana had tried to seek her father’s protection from her stepmother.

“Father, father, please! She’s cruel, please,” Liliana cried, gripping tightly to her father’s pants leg.

She’d been haunting the hallway in front of his study for days, waiting for him to come out so she could speak to him. Bruises under her dress pulled and stung with each movement after the beating Imogen had ordered the maid’s to carry out for some perceived slight. She’d become bold after seeing there was no punishment for the way she treated Liliana. The duke didn’t care what the duchess did to his firstborn, so long as he didn’t have to see her. As long as she remained alive, her father saw his duty as a parent fulfilled.

“Sh-She had me beaten because she said I disrespected her. Please, father, make her stop!” Liliana begged, tears coursing down her face. The breath in her lungs strangled her when an overpowering aura surrounded her. Fear thrummed frigid in her blood as her father turned his uncaring eyes onto her.

“It is her right to discipline you as she sees fit, and apparently it’s not enough if you are making a scene such as this. Do not bother me again with such trivial things,” her father’s voice was uncaring, devoid of any form of warmth. Liliana’s hands dropped from his pant’s leg as she stumbled back, barely able to think through the fear. Her father didn’t look back as he stalked off, leaving her alone and with the knowledge that she would find no allies in this house she could no longer call home.

“Of course, father. I apologize for overstepping,” Liliana’s voice was hollow as she curtsied to her father before turning to leave. She had been an idiot to think for even a moment that her father would ever help her. If she wanted to get rid of Imogen, she needed to do it herself, and in a way that was undeniable. She couldn’t give that awful woman even the barest glimmer of a chance to weasel her way out of the consequences.

“I’ve had some things delivered to your room as well, as a reward for what you’ve accomplished for our house,” her father informed her as she reached the door. Liliana’s hand tightened over the handle until the skin went white.

“Thank you, father,” Liliana responded before opening the door and escaping the suffocating room. As the door shut behind her, Liliana looked around the hallway and seeing it empty, she leaned against the wall next to the door, her face in her hands as she took several shuddering breaths. She could taste copper blood on her tongue and salty tears burned her eyes.

Stupid. I’m so stupid for thinking I mean more to that man than a useful pawn. So stupid to think that my father would want to protect, to help me. As long as I gain power and remain alive, he doesn’t care about anything else. He’ll never chose me over her. Not when she’s a full-blooded noble. Not as long as she holds more power than I do. Liliana let out a wet chuckle as she tilted her head back, looking towards the ceiling. Her hands fell to her side, fisted so tightly she could feel her nails biting into her skin, but she welcomed the pain. It distracted her from the gaping wound in her chest where the shattered scraps of her heart sat.

He’s not my real father, so why does his lack of love hurt me so badly? Liliana wondered, as she took in a shuddering breath. Slowly, she stood and wiped at the tears on her face. When she was certain she wouldn’t show weakness to the scurrying servants to whisper to the duchess about, Liliana strode out of the hallways towards her room.

How much of the real me is left? I can barely even differentiate between myself and the original Liliana anymore. I have so many of her memories, her emotions. Things that shouldn’t hurt me, do, because of this. Sometimes I regret accepting these cursed memories that only ever gifted me with pain, Liliana thought bitterly as she walked. Nemesis rubbed her petaled head against Liliana’s cheek and the girl lifted a hand to pet the serpent’s delicate head. Warmth filled the hole in her chest, not enough to erase the pain but enough to alleviate some of the ache. Her father might not love her, but it didn’t mean she was without love.

For a moment, faces flashed in her mind’s eyes. Lelantos, Nemesis, Astrid, Silas, Emyr, Alistair, Marianne. Those who had shown her kindness and care, love and affection. So very few, and yet so many more than she’d had in her last life. Loneliness was a familiar friend of hers from her past life. And while she might lack the loving and doting parents she’d adored in her previous life, she was so far from being alone in this life. She had friends, people who cared for her happiness and who refused to let her push them away. Her heart might ache for the love of a father that she’d never again know in this life, and she doubted that pain would truly ever fade. But her heart filled with a steady warmth as memories of laughter and smiles, of hugs and loving chuffs filled her mind.

“Lady Liliana!” A voice cried out as Liliana opened the door to her room and tears sprung to her eyes at the warm voice that filled the air. Liliana crossed the room in a blink, barely remembering to be careful of her strength as she wrapped her arms around Astrid. As the woman’s arms came up and crushed Liliana to her, tears trailed down her face. That ache that had been gnawing in her chest faded in the woman’s warm embrace.

Home, I’m finally home, Liliana thought. The scent of vanilla filled her nose as Liliana burrowed herself deeper into Astrid, seeking the warmth and love that her father denied her.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you home, my flower. Let me look at you,” Astrid instructed, and Liliana reluctantly pulled away. Astrid smiled at her and gently wiped away the tears on her cheeks, her touch gentle despite the rough callouses on her hands. Liliana let Astrid guide her to a chair to sit and took the warm tea she was offered gladly.

“You’ve grown, and who is this?” Astrid asked as Nemesis unwound herself from Liliana’s neck with a grumpy mental projection at being squished in the recent embrace.

“This is Nemesis, my latest Bond,” Liliana introduced the two, and she was glad to see that Astrid was not as frightened of Nemesis as she had been of Lelantos. Then again, in her small form, Nemesis was rather adorable. With her delicate petaled head, she looked more like an ornament than a deadly beast.

“And where is Lelantos?” Astrid asked, looking around as if Liliana was hiding the tiger under her skirts. Liliana smiled and tapped the summoning stone, releasing the tiger from stasis. As he materialized beside her, Liliana sipped her tea, letting the warmth of it chase the last of the cold chill from her bones and body.

“Oh, he’s grown too! Look at you, you’ve gotten so big, haven’t you?” Astrid’s voice slowly slipped into the cooing cadence most used around small children or animals. Lelantos didn’t seem to mind and in fact he rolled over onto his back before the maid, allowing the older woman access to the softer fur along his belly. Liliana couldn’t banish the smile on her face as she watched Astrid pet the giant tiger without a hint of fear. It had taken a while for Astrid to lose her fear of the tiger, and Liliana was glad to see that in the months she’d been gone it hadn’t reappeared.

“Oh, hello,” Astrid perked up when Nemesis slithered off of Liliana and climbed onto Astrid’s chair. Liliana tilted her head in curiosity. The serpent almost never left her and she didn’t seem to like other humans too much. She sent a mental query to the serpent even as Nemesis slithered into Astrid’s lap, much to the maid’s delight. The serpent sent back a feeling of love, the love Liliana felt for Astrid.

“She says she likes you, because you remind her of her own mother,” Liliana explained as she pieced together the serpent’s meaning from the impressions she was given. Astrid seemed saddened by the comment, but she gently stroked Nemesis’ head. Liliana curled into her chair, watching her maid, the closest thing she had to a mother in this second life of hers, lavishing her Bonds with love. This manor might be a cold and unforgiving place, but there was still warmth in it.