Liliana thumbed the new clothes she wore. A present from her stepbrother and Emyr. Her brother had claimed it was because he couldn’t stand to see her in the rags she’d been wearing, though Liliana was well aware that her previous clothes had been just fine. The repair enchantment on them meant they were still in good condition, but she had been thinking of getting a new set. Her brother had beaten her to the punch after seeing her looking in an adventurer’s shop in Ariowood. What she was a bit more concerned about was that the clothes fit perfectly, despite not being measured for them. Liliana had a feeling Emyr had somehow snuck her measurements to Alistair at some point, how he’d done so without her knowledge she wasn’t sure.

Reinforced Scaled Leather Set

Made from the reinforced scales of a Razortooth and hardened leather from Steelhorned Stags by a Master leatherworker this set offers protection and durability. Enchantments for durability and repair have been woven into this set.

+15 Vitality

+15 Endurance

+15 Dexterity

Set Bonus: While all pieces are equipped, you have access to the equipment ability [Steel Skin], for five minutes you will be protected from up to 2,000 points of damage. 5 hour cool down or until Mana is replenished.

Rare.

The set offered far more benefits than her current, but Liliana kept her old just in case as it could be upgraded further. This new set didn’t offer a Speed boost like her old, though it had a Vitality and Endurance buff. She shouldn’t be surprised, considering a tank had been the one to buy it. Alistair had likely been looking for something that would supply her defensive bonuses.

She was more surprised it wasn’t actual plate mail. But she supposed she had Emyr to thank for that, as he seemed to be the more reasonable of the pair. It would at least help cover the glaring weakness that was her Vitality a little bit. Liliana had expected her stats to get slowly more and more unbalanced, especially with her class focusing on Endurance, Speed, Dexterity and Charisma. Still, her low Vitality sometimes worried her, especially since the fight with Nemesis was so recent in her memory. However, she had so little to devote to it, as it was she had to pick between increasing her magical power or her strength every level up.

I knew it would be difficult to become a spellblade type DPS, but I never imagined it would be this much of a headache, Liliana thought as she sat down on her bedroll in her tent, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. She knew with her Speed being her highest stat her best tactic in a fight was to hit continuously until her opponent was down. She had the Endurance to back up such a fighting style too now.

If I could just figure out how to mimic Natalia, it would make everything a lot easier. I won’t need as much Strength then, as I could focus on Wisdom and Intelligence to control more blades and increase their damage. Liliana considered biting on a nail as she thought. Right now, her purely magic attacks weren’t the strongest and were easily outclassed by her physical strength. Light just wasn’t a good combat affinity, and it was becoming increasingly evident to her.

Liliana thumbed the daggers sitting on her hip thoughtfully. She had truly been neglecting her dagger skills. The weapons weren’t her preference, forcing her into close combat with opponents was unwise when her Vitality was as low as it was. However, after seeing Natalia’s performance, she was rethinking her choice. Alistair had succeeded in having a contract set up with the circus to perform for his birthday, so Liliana would get a chance then to ask the woman about teaching her. She had wanted to ask her while they were still in Ariowood, but she had never found the time to.

“Lili? Are you ready?” a quiet voice called out to her and Liliana sighed, standing up. Lelantos had found some Creeping Brambles earlier that day, and she’d been the one to suggest fighting them to Alistair and Emyr. It wouldn’t do for her to delay them.

“Yea,” Liliana said as she walked out, seeing Emyr standing outside her tent.

“Where’s Alistair?” Liliana asked, looking around for her stepbrother. She was sure he’d have been waiting for a chance to complain about the time it took her to get ready.

“Still putting on his armor,” Emyr explained, Liliana fell into step with him as he walked towards her brother’s tent.

“And he complains that I take too long,” Liliana grumbled.

“It’s because you do. Gods know why you take so long. It’s not like you’ve got anyone around here to impress,” Alistair answered, exiting his own tent just in time to catch her snide remark.

“Maybe I’m trying to impress Emyr,” Liliana teased and Alistair snorted, crossing armored arms and leveling her with a look that showed exactly how likely he thought of that possibility. Emyr was regarding her with ill-hidden horror.

“Don’t give me that look. You’re the one who followed us in the middle of the night because you thought we were having an affair,” Liliana smirked as Alistair’s face darkened quickly and he struggled to find words.

“Liliana, I appreciate the interest. However, I have standards,” Emyr said, interrupting the siblings’ inevitable quarrel. Liliana turned to Emyr and frowned.

“It was a joke, Em,” Liliana told him slowly.

“It wasn’t a very good one,” he answered, his voice monotone. Liliana sighed and shook her head.

“Wait, what do you mean by standards?” Liliana asked, her voice low as her eyes narrowed at the other boy. Emyr took a step back and, with a smirk, vanished into shadows.

“You can’t just disappear after you say bullshit like that Emyr! Get back out here!” Liliana shouted, however Emyr didn’t reappear, and she sighed, running a hand over her face.

“It’s okay Lili. I’m sure someone will be able to overlook your face and personality and love you,” Alistair said, his voice full of false sympathy as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Let’s go. I feel a sudden urge to stab something. A lot.” Liliana growled, shrugging off her brother’s hand and stomping her way towards the forest. She noted several guards splitting away from the camp, but she quickly lost track of them as they entered the more densely crowded forest.

“Lili,” Alistair spoke up after a few moments, and his voice was serious enough that Liliana slowed her step to walk next to her brother as they followed the game trail deeper into the woods. Snow crunched underfoot and Liliana was grateful for the thick overhead canopy that kept the snowfall light inside the forest.

“I think being around the guards so long has resulted in some… bad habits,” Alistair said, his voice hesitant, as if he was struggling to find a way to voice his thoughts. Liliana paused, looking over at Alistair in confusion.

“Me and Emyr, we’ve gotten used to the way you talk when we’re not at the manor, but cursing and stomping around. It’s not proper for a noblewoman,” Alistair continued slowly, and Liliana hissed a breath out between clenched teeth.

“We’ll be home soon enough, I just. I don’t want you to do something and… and make Mother mad again,” Alistair finished, his voice soft and full of concern as he looked down.

Liliana regarded her stepbrother, keeping her first instinct to lash out at the criticism quiet. She could tell where he was coming from, and it was surprising he was actually warning her when it came to his mother. It wasn’t a secret that Imogen didn’t like her, but this entire trip Alistair hadn’t mentioned his mother around her. A memory, not one of her own, swam to the surface of her mind.

“Why do you keep doing things like this? Are you just this stupid or do you want her to hate you?” a young voice called out. Liliana looked up, wiping tears off her face hastily. She had hidden herself deep in the garden maze hoping to escape Imogen’s notice, but apparently her hiding spot had had been discovered. The scent of fresh blooming roses could no longer penetrate her stuffed nose, but the beautiful flowers still swung in the breeze, without a care in the world. Not noticing the sobbing girl beneath them.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” she said, her voice wavering as more tears threatened to spill over. She did nothing, yet Imogen always found fault with everything about her.

“You failed your classes. Then when the Duke summoned you to talk about them, you tried to tell the Duke that it was mother’s fault,” Alistair told her and Liliana’s face contorted into a grimace. It had been true, though!

Since Imogen had come, Miss Beckett has been so much worse, giving her harder lessons than before and forcing her to get her work done in even less time than was possible. She knew the Duchess had ordered it! Her father had never taken so much interest in her schooling before. Imogen just wanted to see her fail, to show her father she was useless.

“But-“ Liliana started.

“Stop. It’s your own fault you failed. Haven’t you figured out that no one here cares what excuses you give? Just stop giving mother reasons to be mad at you. Be quiet like a good mutt and maybe she’ll leave you alone.” Alistair’s voice was slow, as if he was explaining something so obvious to an idiot. But Liliana didn’t understand.

She knew what it was like to live in a manor where her father wanted nothing to do with her and the servants ignored her existence. But dealing with someone who not only acknowledged her, but actively took offense to her very presence and tried to find any fault she could was new. She just wished her stepmother would leave. She’d rather live alone and ignored than to be constantly punished like this. The cold ache of loneliness was much preferable to the burning pain of open hatred.

“Why do you care?” Liliana asked, voice petulant as she glared at her stepbrother through tear-blurred eyes.

“Because I’m sick of hearing your name from mother and the servants. Every-time you mess up and antagonize mother, it’s all that the manor talks about for days.” Alistair hissed, his own eyes full of an anger that made Liliana whimper and curl away from him.

“Just be quiet. Stop making her mad,” Alistair finished. Turning on his heel, he stalked off, leaving Liliana in her quiet corner of the garden with only the flowers to hear her sobs.

Liliana shook off the memory as she averted her gaze from her stepbrother. Why am I remembering that now? Liliana wondered before she considered more closely the events from the memory. It wasn’t the only memory she had from the original Liliana of Alistair doing things that appeared to be for his own selfish interest, but seemed to have some bit of aid or advice for her. Perhaps, in his own way, he’d been trying to help her. Before he had the strength to step away from his mother’s strangling webs.

He was just a child, with his entire life upended. Forced to move into a new home, to have a new father. Perhaps I was too harsh in my judgments about him. He was only doing what his mother told him to, and even then, he still tried to help in his own way. Liliana thought. She took a deep breath, steadying the confusing mixture of emotions in her chest. Her hatred of Imogen had been there since she’d lived through Liliana’s memories, but now it felt more potent than before.

“Do you remember, when I was punished and locked in my room with nothing but a little bread and water every day to eat?” Liliana asked, turning from her stepbrother as she asked the question.

That memory had been a rough one to live through. The original Liliana hadn’t been older than maybe eleven at the time. In her last life, she was no stranger to an empty stomach, when the treatments got so bad she couldn’t hold food down without throwing it back up. But the original Liliana hadn’t been sick,. She’d been a small child who had done nothing wrong, yet she’d been starved for the duchess’ own sick pleasure. Framed for a crime she didn’t commit just to give the duchess a reason to torment her.

“Yes,” Alistair said, his voice low, almost too quiet to hear.

Liliana was a little surprised he had remembered, more than many of the memories that one had stuck with her. Not just because of the pain attached to it, emotional and physical, but because it was the clearest memory she had of Alistair directly defying his mother. He’d brought her food every day, up until that last day when he’d stopped coming and she hadn’t seen him for days afterwards.

“Why didn’t you come on the last day?” Liliana asked, her hand tightening around the haft of her weapon. She knew the answer. It was so clear to her now. Something she had never realized before, because she’d been so busy being jealous and suspicious of Alistair that she hadn’t bothered to realize his life might not have been the fairytale she’d believed it to be. Because Alistair had always done such a good job of hiding his own pain behind his carefully constructed mask.

“I disobeyed, and I was shown the error of my ways,” Alistair responded, the lines sounding rehearsed. As if they’d been engraved in his mind, spoken with no emotion at all. But so much lurked between the lines of what he’d said.

Liliana stamped down on her first instinct. To rant and rave and curse Imogen to hell and back. She knew right now it wasn’t something Alistair would hear. He was still too much his mother’s son. He loved his mother. Liliana knew that. He feared her too; she was certain. Liliana took a breath, calming her raging temper.

“Thank you, I never got the chance to tell you, but what you did meant so much to me,” Liliana said, turning to her brother and giving him a soft smile. His eyes were conflicted, guilt, confusion and uncertainty swirling deep in the golden depths.

“Come on, let’s go before Emyr kills all the Creeping Brambles without us,” Liliana said, giving her brother an out to a conversation that was obviously uncomfortable for him.

She’d said what she needed to anyway, the thank you that the original Liliana had never had a chance to utter. Gratitude from a little girl who had only ever known love from a mother gone far too soon. It was no wonder she had clung so tightly to Alistair, even as he grew and became more harsh and distant. He had been the first person in her family since her mother to show her any kindness.

Something like that seemed such a small gesture to her originally, but with having lived in this world for over half a year now, Liliana could understand more clearly how much that had truly meant to the forgotten daughter of the duchy. She saw as well how much courage it had taken for Alistair to actively defy his own mother, even knowing the punishment he would suffer if he was caught.

It had been so easy for her to judge him through the lens of someone who had never lived with a mother who would turn on her own so easily just to keep them in line. To judge a child who could be easily discarded from his new family for the first-born daughter of the duke, or even now for his own siblings. Alistair had never been safe, never been secure in his position. The only person keeping him safe was his mother. If he had displeased her enough, he too could be cast aside. Yet despite that, he’d done what little he could to help her.

Even now, he was actively becoming closer to her, even knowing how his mother would take it. Even knowing he had two siblings who could easily usurp his position as heir. Yet still he remained by her side despite that, despite the way she’d pushed him away. It didn’t absolve him of the sins he’d committed, but Liliana had forgiven him those the day he’d apologized to her. She would not hold a grudge against a child who had been trying to survive and who had only done what he’d been taught. He was changing, and that more than anything else showed her he meant every word of his apology.

“Yes, let’s go,” Alistair answered, and Liliana shoved her thoughts down, giving Alistair a brighter smile. She turned and, with perhaps more force than was necessary, cleared a branch out of the way with her weapon. Anger thrummed hot and heavy in her blood and she needed to get rid of the excess energy.