As soon as the giant scorpion was exposed, Sewer Bard activated.

“Cover your ears!” he yelled to the group. The instant everyone was protected, he launched into his spell. This time there was no sandstorm to shield the scorpion, and so the effect hit it full force. The scorpion staggered, and then screamed. Qube hadn’t even known that scorpions could scream, but this one did. It lashed out, its stinger flailing wildly as it smashed into the floor, walls, anything that it could reach.

“[Lesser Shield],” Qube cast with her hands still clamped over her ears. She’d never cast without using her hands before, but the magic still responded, protecting Sewer Bard just before the stinger hit, instantly shattering his shield.

As suddenly as the attack started, it stopped. The scorpion went quiet, crouching in place as the spell continued to weave around it, the various colours gently settling onto its yellow carapace.

Finally, Sewer Bard stopped playing. Qube sighed as she felt the pressure of the spell ease, and she could remove her hands. As soon as she could hear again, she noticed that the thumping, repetitive beat of the battle music was gone. Instead it was a strange, almost tinkly kind of music, like the noise crystals would make if they could be played.

On Qube’s frantic waving that it was safe, the rest of the group also uncovered their ears. They all looked around in the ensuing silence. Qube peeked into her jam jar. There was no trace of the massive amount of sand it had sucked up. It was all gone, like it had been eaten. There had to be some way to get it back though, right? Even pocket magic couldn’t just destroy so much matter. It must be teleporting to a new location.

The sudden mental image of an unravelled mummy, followed by several tonnes of sand, falling out of the sky and landing on someone flashed through Qube’s mind. She would have to ask Definitely Bad Guy about it later, make sure they weren’t accidentally ruining someone’s life with their jam jars.

The scorpion continued to do nothing. But no doorway opened. No Bestowal pedestals, or sparkling portals to take them to whatever decision lay at the heart of this particular Temple.

In a flash of horror, Qube suddenly saw the terrible flaw with her brilliant plan.

The Boss wasn’t attacking them. It wasn’t friendly, or at least Qube wasn’t sure how to check a giant scorpion’s emotional state, but it was certainly no longer a threat to them. But the Bestowal pedestals had only appeared after they’d killed the other Bosses.

It turned out that “defeating” the Boss wasn’t enough. They had to kill them, and release the pedestals from their inner pockets.

“Oh no,” Qube moaned, sinking to the ground and burying her face in her knees. “Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

“Can you understand me?” Sewer Bard loudly asked the giant scorpion towering over him. The scorpion just slowly crouched, then rose back up again, similar to when the others were standing around not doing anything in particular.

“You are also an arachnid; would you be able to communicate with this creature?” Definitely Bad Guy asked Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. The Hunter gave him a stare so withering it was amazing that the Mage didn’t spontaneously combust.

“I,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said with awful dignity, “am a cursed being, who stands to claim the Thorny Crown, and who is both wood elf and other. I am not, have never been, and will never, be an arachnid.” All the stitched-on childrens’ faces angrily silent-screamed at the Mage. “And if you speak of me in such a way again, I will eat you,” she finished. She opened her mouth to add something else then stopped, her fangs dripping venom. “You will not enjoy it,” she finally said grudgingly.

Definitely Bad Guy displayed more social sense than Qube would have expected when he jerked a nod at the Hunter.

“I did not intend to offend,” he said shortly.

“If you had intended offence, little man, you would not still be breathing,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady nearly growled.

“Are we going to have to kill it?” Qube asked in a small voice from her hunched over position on the ground. Right now she was too preoccupied with the idea of potentially having to kill a peaceful creature to worry about the fact that whatever uneasy alliance Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Definitely Bad Guy had built (mostly around her telling him what to do or say) seemed to be rapidly dissolving.

“I shouldn’t think so,” Sewer Bard said, carefully walking over to Qube while keeping a wary eye on the scorpion. The Boss’s head followed him, before it spotted Qube. All its eyes fixated on her and its nostril slits flared. “That would be most unjust, and the Temples have, so far, displayed a sense of fairness in their challenges.”

“You’re right,” Qube said, a tiny part of her relaxing.

“I’m sure that now we have broken the beast free of its shackles, it will be more than happy to cooperate with us,” the Bard said. Qube gave him a timid smile. “After all, what honour would there be in slaughtering an innocent creature? Surely even the Devs wouldn't allow such a thing.”

Even the Devs?

“You’re right, the Good Devs wouldn’t allow such a thing,” Qube said. There was a beat before Sewer Bard smiled at her.

“Exactly what I meant,” he said.

“That is all well and good,” Definitely Bad Guy interrupted, now recovered from his debate with the Hunter, “but how are we to continue, then?”

“There must be some way to move forwards that doesn’t involve violence,” Qube said more confidently from her huddle. “Yeah,” she said, swiftly standing up, “almost every time, we’ve been able to find a solution where everyone wins, and no one gets hurt, so there must be a way forward!”

“While I will abide by your decision, whatever it may be,” Definitely Bad Guy said painstakingly to Qube, “I would advise we slaughter this beast and move on. Although,” he paused, staring at the scorpion thoughtfully. “This is a unique opportunity to study such a large specimen. I have only had access to significantly smaller variants of this species before.”

The Mage started circling the giant scorpion. The Boss, although ever so slowly moving towards Qube, followed the Mage’s action with the barb at the end of its stinger, which was still reared up above its head in an attack position.

“You’re free now,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said to the scorpion, stepping between it and Qube. Its cluster of eyes fixed on the Hunter. “You should leave, go out and explore the world. You don’t have to do what you’re told anymore!”

The scorpion slowly reached out a giant claw, and gently prodded Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. Although the Hunter towered over the others when she rose to her full height, she was still dwarfed by the massive Boss. The blade on the end of the Boss’s stinger was the size of her torso. Even the very soft contact between the two pushed Sexy Screamy Spider Lady slightly back.

The scorpion had no eyelids, eyebrows, or any other facial muscles, but it somehow managed to look confused as it slightly tilted its head to the side. It pushed its face and pincers closer to the Hunter, who held up a claw.

“That’s close enough, mister,” she said, not unkindly. “I don’t allow any man to get that close to me without at least buying me dinner.”

“That’s not true,” Qube said. “None of the men in our party have bought you dinner and they have all stood much closer to you than that.” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady looked at the Healer and sighed.

“I’m not trying to tell you that you can’t have others come close to you if you don’t want to!” Qube hurriedly clarified, “It’s just the only time you had dinner was when you went to the Royal Kitchen with the Chosen One and that was well after he had been much closer to you than the scorpion is! Also, we don’t know if the scorpion is a man, so do the rules still apply?”

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady closed all eight of her eyes.

“My dear,” she said patiently, “it is just an expression. I know it’s hard, but please don’t allow yourself to be distracted by my witty banter. I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you have later. We can have some more girl talk.”

Qube flushed.

“No, that’s okay,” she mumbled. She looked at the scorpion, who was now examining its own pincers, slowly rotating them so it could look at both sides.

“Excuse me,” she said the giant Boss. It ignored her. “Excuse me, I know you can see me now,” she said, a little more sternly. “It can understand me, right?” she asked Definitely Bad Guy. The Mage tapped his chin.

“I could not say one way or the other,” he eventually admitted begrudgingly. He stopped circling the scorpion, and stared into its multitude of eyes.

“If you do not respond, we will kill you,” he said calmly. Qube felt, rather than saw, the scorpion’s attention suddenly snap to the Mage. It’s stinger pulled back, readying to strike.

“I believe,” Sewer Bard said, smoothly moving away from the Mage, “that it can understand you.”

“We don’t want to hurt you,” Qube said urgently, trying to divert the giant creature’s attention away from Definitely Bad Guy. “That’s why we cast that spell! To help free you! But we need the Bestowal pedestals that you guard. Or, well, I suppose we don’t actually need them,” she said, suddenly realising her error, “but we need the portal to the next part of the Temple. We have to defeat the Evil Emperor who rules over the land and restore the rightful rulers to the throne!”

She tried to radiate Good towards the Boss. “We also have the Chosen One with us! Well, not actually with us — we left him asleep upstairs — but he’s here! He’s the one foretold by the Golden Prophecy to save the world, which includes you!”

Was this Boss someone like her, who had wandered into the Temple with the best of intentions, only to find themselves transformed into something hideous? Qube wasn’t sure who a scorpion would be ordering about — the beetles maybe?

“If you truly care for the kingdom,” she said, trying desperately to think about what a giant scorpion would care about, “then you’ll help us.”

She just had no idea how the scorpion was supposed to help them.

“Can you please make your portal appear so that we can continue?” she said, but without much hope. The scorpion looked at her. “Um, in the other Temples, when the Bosses that were there… moved on… the portal appeared and let us get to the next place.”

The scorpion regarded her silently. Slowly it reached out and very, very gently prodded her with one of its claws. It seemed to have learned from its interaction with Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, so there was only the barest hint of pressure as it made contact with Qube.

It withdrew its pincer.

Qube was stumped.

“The Temples are supposed to be trials for us to prove our worthiness,” she continued talking at the shiny shell and eyes before her, valiantly ignoring the fact that it was now very slowly and very softly attempting to pat her on the head with a claw. “And, well, we’ve befriended you, or at least we’ve made it so that we don’t have to fight you, which is a kind of worthiness, isn’t it? And you don’t want us to murder you, or fight, so really, what would be gained by it?”

“The other Bosses, were they just trying to defend themselves?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady asked, troubled. “Did they know that we wanted their forbidden treasures?”

“It is possible,” Definitely Bad Guy said carefully, “that the portal, and Bestowal stones, are spells cast by the Bosses as they perish. If they know that their purpose is to test us, and they have fulfilled their purpose, it may be that they are doing as they were told.”

“But how awful,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady gasped. “To be forced to exist just to fulfil the whims of a Temple, to be born only to be killed!”

The giant scorpion, having patted Qube on the head enough to its satisfaction, tried to close a pincer around her waist. Qube stepped away from its potentially crushing embrace. While it wasn’t hostile, she wasn’t sure what it wanted, which made her nervous. It paused, as if recalculating, before reaching out towards the next closest person.

“We do not know if these creatures are even sentient,” Definitely Bad Guy said, as two massive claws slowly closed around him. “They may not be actual creatures, just beings shaped from pure mana to test us.”

The scorpion started to lift the Mage.

“Put me down,” Definitely Bad Guy ordered sharply. “I am the Mage Advisor, and I will not be handled by a subject of study like this.”

The giant Boss put the Mage down and, somewhat sheepishly, withdrew its pincer.

“My spell has affected this righteous protector of the Temple,” Sewer Bard pointed out, watching the exchange with mild interest. “How can a being of mana be affected by a mana spell?”

“That is common enough,” Definitely Bad Guy said, waving away that argument. “There is nothing incongruous in that. No. The question is whether or not the beast can voluntarily summon the portal and Bestowal pedestals, or if its death completed the summoning ritual, thus bringing the portals into being.”

The scorpion slowly started reaching for Sewer Bard.

Qube put her head in her hands as the enormity of what she had ordered done hit her.

They were now well and truly stuck.