“This is not fine.” Qube said, staring at the nightmare that was the inside of the Forbidden Forest Temple.

The Chosen One was looking around them, pleased.

“Yup, we broke it real good.” He said. Whatever he’d been about to say next was drowned out by the sound of Sewer Bard screaming at the top of his lungs.

The party swung around to see Sewer Bard swinging his lute at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady.

“Back, fell demon!” He screamed, instrument flailing wildly.

“Sewer Bard! Sewer Bard, calm down! What’s wrong, my love?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady asked, deeply concerned. Sewer Bard just responded by chucking his lute at her spider-head and drawing his rapier.

“Return my goddess to me, evil beast!” He cried.

“Oh [snacks], I think he’s glitched.” The Chosen One said, his voice once again distorting strangely.

“Sewer Bard, please, calm yourself. That is our new party member, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. You know her.” Qube said soothingly, placing her hand on his arm. The Sewer Bard looked at her, aghast.

“Who the hell are you?!” He yelled.

Qube fell back, shaken.

“He has been possessed.” She declared. “Something has caused him to see enemies instead of allies.”

“Well I could try resetting…” The Chosen One mused to himself. He paused, looked at Qube for a moment then back at Sewer Bard. “No. Let’s roll with it.”

“Sewer Bard,” he said loudly. Sewer Bard continued yelling. “Sewer Bard!”

Sewer Bard flinched.

“[Follow].” The Chosen One commanded and walked outside. As soon as they set foot outside the temple the Sewer Bard turned and saw Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and dropped to his knees. He grabbed one of her upper legs and pressed his forehead against the furred tufts at the end.

“Oh!” He cried, “Oh, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, my beautiful wood elf! A horrible creature stole your voice and transformed your gorgeous sensuality into a hideous… giant spider… with … faces.” His face seemed to drain of all colour. He released her hand and slowly stood up.

“She’s been a giant spider with screaming faces attached to her the entire time, hasn’t she?” He asked the Chosen One with eerie calm.

“Children’s faces, but yes.” The Chosen One helpfully corrected Sewer Bard.

“I see. And that woman - half elf, perhaps? - in robes in the temple that spoke as if she knew me…?”

“Wait, he hasn’t been able to see me the entire time?” Qube asked.

“She’s been with us the whole way.” The Chosen One said.

“The entire time?”

“Yes.”

“But … is she a spirit? She knew me, without a doubt she knew me, and yet you did not introduce us, or allow me to see past her magics?”

“She’s shy.” The Chosen One said. Qube glared at him.

“Oh. Oh! Oh, fair maiden, a million apologies, I did not mean to ignore you so!” Sewer Bard said, bowing to space on the Chosen One’s right. Qube, who was in fact standing on the Chosen One’s left hand side, blushed furiously. “I would never dream to ignore you, if you have spoken to me, but I respect the concealment spells you have wrapped yourself in. Just know that any time you wish to release your shroud of invisibility around me I will prove myself more than worthy of your trust.”

“But, why hasn’t he been able to see me?” Qube was getting frustrated. “How is that possible?”

“She says she forgives you.” The Chosen One lied.

“What is going on?!” Qube shouted.

“And now I must confer with her. I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” The Chosen One smirked and the Sewer Bard looked at what was, to the now lute-less musician at least, a beautiful wood elf, and gulped.

“What. Is. Going. On?” Qube tried to sound as perky and trustworthy as she could between clenched teeth as they went into the Forbidden Forest temple. She was supposed to be the Chosen One’s guiding light! How was she supposed to help him when she was kept in the dark by him?

Rather than immediately answering her the Chosen One sat at the edge of the cliff that led to the start of the temple. Below the cliff was the temple proper, all dark brown dirt, twisting roots that burst out of the ground haphazardly, and a bunch of friendly forest animals fighting twisted monsters for territory. Once they dropped down into that pit, there appeared to be no way back up onto this ledge, which would have made getting out almost impossible. After a moment or two of indecision, Qube sat down next to him, legs dangling over the edge.

“I’m not sure how to explain this in a way that will … compute with you.” He said eventually. Qube waited for him, as she had her entire life. “But basically… the Evil Emperor put a curse on you? When you were unconscious? Which made you invisible to most people?”

“Oh! Why didn’t you just say so?” Qube gave a sigh of relief. “That explains so much!”

“Wait, that’s it? You don’t have any questions?” The Chosen One looked stunned.

“Well. I suppose the reason you can see me is because of the Golden Prophecy, yes?” Qube explained. “And when I healed Mother Gothel, part of my invisibility curse spread to her subjects, the citizens of the Forbidden Forest.” Qube shrugged. “Which given she’s their Queen, makes sense. Everyone knows a ruler’s people are always a reflection and extension of them. So Sewer Bard couldn’t actually see Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, just her spirit.”

The Chosen One was looking at her in awe, no doubt impressed by her excellent deductive reasoning.

“Of course.” He said. He swallowed. “I … I don’t suppose you know why he could see her spirit?”

Qube waved that away with a laugh. Oh Chosen One! Trying to figure out all this complex magic on his own, without her help!

“Naturally it’s because only a fraction of the curse was passed on through the Dryad Queen.” Qube thought of the hatred in the woman’s eyes as they left her grove. She still shivered at the raw emotion, but at least now she could understand why the Queen had reacted so strongly to seeing her. She must have figured out instantly what had occured, and the damage that would do to her people. Qube would have to find some way to apologise to her. Maybe sending her a nice gift?

“Enough to see the shape of their spirits, and so, being a man who always falls in love with people’s inner selves, he would have accepted her as a spirit that had formerly been transformed into a horrifying spider, rather than realising that this was in fact her true self. Much as he immediately accepted that I was either a spirit, or invisible.”

The Chosen One’s mouth had been slightly agape. He shut it with a snap.

“And as for why he could finally see both of you?”

“Strong magic in the temple. It was bound to interfere with the curse, however temporary.” She said calmly.

The Chosen One was still staring at her, but slowly nodding.

“Yes,” He said, “That… that makes sense.”

“Of course! I’m your childhood Companion! I am Prophecy ordained to be your guiding light! Oh Chosen One, I can’t believe you’ve been struggling with this the entire time! You should have just told me.” She smiled at him. “I would have been able to help you immediately.”

“Sure.” The Chosen One said. “Yup, in future I think… I think I’ll just ask you to deal with it.” He paused, a small evil grin appearing. “In fact, do you think you would be able to explain all that to Sewer Bard, if we brought him in here?”

Qube beamed.

“It would be my pleasure!” She said.

Sewer Bard had taken the news rather well, all things considered. The knowledge that there was a cursed Healer half elf who had been following them around the entire time was not, he explained, very unusual. They’d ended up going outside the temple, with the Chosen One being a mouthpiece to explain everything to Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady at the same time. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady had refused point blank to go into the temple if it made her ugly.

“Stories are filled with the unseen helping hands of spirits,” Sewer Bard explained, “and what is a spirit if not an invisible friend? Perhaps sometimes… more than friends?” He asked the place where he thought Qube was standing hopefully.

“No.” Qube said flatly, from a few paces to the left of his gaze.

“She says ‘Oh I could never, tee hee!’” The Chosen One told Sewer Bard.

“I do not!” Qube puffed in indignation. “I have defeated the tee hees! They haunt me no more!”

“What?” The Chosen One blinked at Qube.

“Then I shall not give up hope!” Sewer Bard declared.

“I liked you better when I thought you were shy.” Qube told the unhearing Sewer Bard.

“Anyway, moving on.” The Chosen One said. “Let’s leave Sexy Screamy Spider Lady here and do a run through this temple.”

“I don’t think running would be safe.” Qube said.

“I would not wish to introduce our fair companion to any danger.” Sewer Bard said, “Are you sure her enchantment will keep her safe?”

“Are Healers super squishy?” The Chosen One asked, curious.

“I...I’m not quite sure what you mean by that, Noble Patron.” Sewer Bard admitted.

“Don't worry,” the Chosen One said, slinging a friendly arm around Sewer Bard, “we’ll make sure you go first … you know, to keep all those fair maidens safe.”

“That’s not quite - I wouldn’t want to -”

“Plus, it’s time for me to try out this new technique I’ve been refining with our fair Healer.” The Chosen One gave a sadistic smile as he dragged a protesting Sewer Bard into the temple, followed by a bemused Qube.

“I’ve decided to call it cooperative pit-pushing.”

---

The Chosen One, Saviour to all Human and Human Adjacent Beings, once again sat on the edge of the starting cliff of the Forbidden Forest Temple. To his side, her legs swinging idly as she sat, was his Prophecy Approved Companion, Qube, childhood friend and extremely powerful Healer.

They were currently watching their third group member, Sewer Bard, alternatively be fawned over and ignored by various woodland creatures. The twisted forest creatures, part fauna and part flora, would ignore the Sewer Bard, and viciously attack any of the cute, “normal” woodland critters they came across. The normal fluffy bunnies and butterflies one would expect to find in a giant tree would gleefully follow Sewer Bard, and try to rip open any of the twisted creatures they came across.

It was total, utter chaos, and so pretty normal for the adventures the three of them had had so far.

“So do you have any ideas for why this is happening?” The Chosen One asked Qube.

“Lots!” Qube chirruped. “I think it’s-”

“Cool, as long as you know.” The Chosen One cut her off. Qube glared at him. He shrugged at her. “Lore bores me.”

Qube pouted. Before she could force the Chosen One to listen to her theories anyway Sewer Bard reached the other side of the Forbidden Forest temple’s pit, and started climbing the ladder on the other side. Once he reached the top, he pulled the rope he’d been carrying tight, causing the end the Chosen One was holding to strain.

“Here, hold this.” The Chosen One said, passing the rope to Qube. “And don’t let go until I give you the all clear. Once I’m on the other side, then just walk to the other side like the Sewer Bard did.”

“Wait, why can’t you-” Qube started to ask before the Chosen One jumped on top of the rope and ran across the makeship tightrope. Given Qube was reasonably certain that the Chosen One had no idea how to tightrope walk, she was genuinely impressed with how far he made it before he fell.

The few remaining twisted, snarling forest creatures immediately ignored the fluffy critters and started attacking the Chosen One.

“I’m coming!” Qube shouted, sliding down the cliff into the pit, burning her hands at the speed.

“Nonononono-” She heard the Chosen One’s voice fade as he ran through the pit towards where Sewer Bard was waiting. Qube ran to catch up, flinching when several of the twisted creatures flew past her. But, just as they had ignored the Sewer Bard, they paid no attention to her, instead keeping their eyes on the far juicier prize that was the Hero.

Unless she was also invisible to them too, due to either the Evil Prophecy or the Evil Emperor’s curse, Qube thought. Actually, that’d be pretty handy, it meant she was safe from practically everyone and everything.

Qube was so busy thinking about how she was now practically invincible that she ran face first into the ladder.

“Stop messing about and get up here.” The Chosen One chided her from the top, having regained his calm now he was no longer being chased.

Qube grumbled to herself as she climbed to the top. She really needed to figure out how to curse people, she thought. Curses were just healing in reverse, it shouldn’t be too hard to crack…

Paying no attention to his simmering Healer, the Chosen One continued scanning the pit.

“No sign of any chests or bosses in the entire pit.” He complained. “Looks like it was just supposed to be a hack and slash. Oh well. Onto the next room. Here’s hoping we manage to shake loose some unique drops.”

Qube and Sewer Bard looked at each other, before Qube shrugged. Sometimes the Chosen One would say something, and while she knew every word in the sentence, it still made very little sense. Probably Prophecy magic.

The next room made even less sense than the one they had left behind. It was a small, round room with a floor made of packed dirt, and in the middle of it was a giant wooden chest, gilded with gold. To the side of the chest was a small blue sphere of light.

“What’s that?” Qube asked, pointing at the blue sphere. The Chosen One looked at her, confused then deeply intrigued.

“You can see the save point?” He asked. “Interesting.”

“...What’s a Save Point?”