Taking Qube at her smiling word, the others progressed to the next room. Or, more accurately, Sewer Bard led them to the next room while Qube tried to remember whose turn it was to be the leader. Assuming they skipped Squiggles, that would make it…

Platforms. The next room had platforms. But not up, like the normal dreaded platforms. Oh no. This had platforms down.

“Does anyone have a rope?” Qube asked, glaring at her second most hated thing.

“If you are frightened, you may hop on my back while we fly down,” Sewer Bard said graciously.

“Oh,” Qube said. “Of course.”

She’d forgotten that they had the ability to fly. Or, well, the others had the ability to fly. She looked at Squiggles, who instantly tangled herself around Sewer Bard’s feet.

“Squiggles, he can’t fly like that,” Qube said, helping Squiggles into the much more sensible position, which was clamped directly onto where Sewer Bard’s wings would come out of his back.

She heard a whispered conversation and turned to the others just in time to see Sexy Screamy Spider Spider Lady shove Definitely Bad Guy towards her. Qube stepped back, only just avoiding getting a faceful of Mage.

“Say it,” she heard Sexy Screamy Spider Lady hiss.

“If you desire, you could ride me,” Definitely Bad Guy muttered, his face matching his hair.

“He’s still learning,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said to Sewer Bard apologetically. The Bard nodded knowingly.

Why was Sexy Screamy Spider Lady apologising to Sewer Bard for what Definitely Bad Guy was saying? Why was she teaching him to say weird things? Why was the Mage going along with it? This was all very odd! Could this be their way of bonding?

Oddness aside, it was a good suggestion, so Qube wrapped her arms around the Mage’s back and waited for him to start flying. She noticed that his ears were also now bright red. After a few seconds of fumbling, he managed to deploy his wings, and follow a very entangled Sewer Bard and a far-too-big-for her wings Sexy Screamy Spider Lady as they drifted down deeper into the Temple.

It was oddly peaceful for something designed to test them.

“Look out,” Sewer Bard called from further down. “Be careful where you land. There’s traps.”

Ah. There it was. Qube watched as Sewer Bard slowed his descent, nearly hovering in the air as he worked to disable a trap. Looking around the room to see if she could spot any other dangers or potential enemies, Qube gasped as she realised that what she’d taken to be seams where the sandstone slabs met were, in fact, letters, each stroke as long as Qube was tall.

She read it in silence as they drifted down, their shadows dancing against the words.

He be our pharaoh, who ruled o’er our land,

The hills and the people were his to command.

But his greed was too great, his pride ‘n his treasure

Led him to dark deeds, too terrible to measure.

Our magic be weak, but we hold him still

If yee reinforce our seals, a’ finish the kill,

His riches ladened tomb under sand will be crushed

Then his choking influence will at last be hushed.

If yee overcome our magic, a’ release this scourge

Then prepare for our people a funeral dirge.

For none shall survive his terrible wrath

Only cold gold will remain after his bloodbath.

“What does that mean?” Qube whispered, trying to understand such a strange message. Who were these people? There were no hills here, unless it meant the sand dunes? Had they somehow missed a village of desert people? They had rushed straight to the Temple, since Qube had been able to see it. And normally there was at least one village around each Temple. Except for the Shadow Temple. Remembering the dripping darkness, and overall oddness of that place, though, Qube felt as if nothing could have flourished in those eternal shadows.

Oh no. They must have missed an entire group of people who could have told them about what was going on! A group of people who, it seemed, really did not want them to release whatever a pharaoh was —

As she thought that, Qube suddenly remembered not only about pharaohs, but also realised what the Chosen One had been talking about earlier with mummies. Of course! They weren’t bandage constructs, that was silly! They were cursed corpses, doomed to forever wander the Temple until someone killed them! She’d just never put the two things together until she remembered what a pharaoh was!

Memories were such odd things, sometimes.

“A warning,” Sewer Bard said, his voice quiet in the wide space they floated down.

“Or a promise,” Definitely Bad Guy added to the vast emptiness.

“Trouble,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said grimly.

They landed on firm ground at last. Qube hopped off Definitely Bad Guy’s back. He continued looking at the text as his complexion slowly lost its glowing redness.

“Why would they put the warning inside the Temple?” Qube asked, standing next to him. The others shrugged.

“The desert tribe that dwells in this area must have sealed him in here,” Sewer Bard said. “I’ve heard stories of them, and their fiercely protective nature.”

“Well, it makes sense that they would be protective,” Qube pointed out reasonably. “After all, if they had a Royal leader who was —” she hesitated, not wanting to call Royalty Evil, “— not very nice to their land and people, then of course they would want to protect what they have left.”

She stared at the poem/warning/promise worridley. A pharaoh sounded Royal, which meant he was Good. But from what this was saying, he had abused the land and the people, which was Evil.

Maybe it was a situation like the Evil Emperor, where he had ascended to power by overthrowing the rightful rulers. Come to think of it, the king and queen were the ones who should be ruling over the desert! It was part of the kingdom, after all! Which meant the pharaoh must have risen to power after the Evil Emperor took control, which meant he wasn’t any more of a rightful Royal than anyone else (not having been born into it) and could safely be crushed to death under tonnes of sand!

No wonder the desert people had hated him!

Pleased with her flawless logic, Qube looked around for the entrance to the next room.

“So does that mean we’ll be freeing him, or killing him?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady asked.

Qube froze.

Oh. That was right. This was something they were supposed to discuss as a group, and come to a decision on the matter together.

“If he has harmed his people, then we shouldn’t release him,” Sewer Bard said, but without any real conviction.

“Unleashing him would allow us to enter his tomb, which may hold mystical artefacts,” Definitely Bad Guy said, but he didn’t sound any surer of what he was saying than Sewer Bard.

“Well, maybe we should wait until we meet him and see what he has to say for himself?” Qube offered. The others hesitated before nodding along.

“That… may be an option,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, looking reluctant. “Although I don’t think that would work, for some reason.”

“Probably because communicating with him would presumably require releasing the seal,” Definitely Bad Guy pointed out sensibly.

“Well, we’re not sure,” Qube replied, “so we should worry about that when we get there. But I suggest we bury him. We don’t need his treasure, and we’ll soon be returning the king and queen to the throne, so he won’t be ruling over the land for very long.”

“A thought occurs to me,” Sewer Bard said, “but if, as you say, we are placing the noble king and beautiful queen back on the throne shortly anyway, would it not make more sense for us to enjoy the spoils, so to speak, and see if there is any mystical artefact that could aid us in our noble quest? After all,” he said, with a strange smile, “we know that our rulers would have no trouble regaining control over their kingdom, once freed. It is the very basis of our quest, is it not?”

“I would advise against introducing a threat to the kingdom at this point,” Definitely Bad Guy said, then blinked in confusion. “It is just,” he stuttered slightly, “while I, in my capacity as a seeker of knowledge, would benefit enormously from access to rare items, it seems unwise to help a potential rival to rulership rise to power.”

“What do you think, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady?” Qube asked, trying to be fair. The Hunter frowned so hard all her children’s faces also started frowning.

“We have only heard one side of the story,” she said at last. “I agree with our adorable Healer. We must go and see if we can find some way to —” she ran a claw thoughtfully down her thorax, “connect with this pharaoh. Maybe he can give us something that will help clear things up.”

In reality, Qube had only suggested talking to him as a way to give her time to think of how to convince the others that it would be best to murder this unmet pharaoh for daring to try and rule over people when he wasn’t Royalty. Still, this gave her plenty of opportunity to persuade the others to her side! She just had to make sure she got them all on her side before the Chosen One woke up and rejoined them.

While she may not have grown up with him, Qube still knew the Chosen One well enough to know exactly which option he would choose.

And she really didn’t want to try and lug an entire tomb’s worth of treasure back to Cobbletown.

---

Having cleared away the remaining traps, Sewer Bard led the party to the doorway to the next room. Qube cleared her throat.

“Definitely Bad Guy, I believe it’s your turn to lead, isn’t it?”

“Darling, you haven’t had a chance to lead,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady cut in.

“Oh, I don’t want to lead!” Qube hurriedly disclaimed. “I just want to support whoever is in charge!”

“Nonsense,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said firmly. “While I agree that Squiggles is far too young to be leading us—”

“That was not my argument,” Definitely Bad Guy interrupted, only to be barrelled over.

“— you naturally should be given a chance to be the dominant one for a change.”

“But I don’t want to dominate anyone!” Qube almost wailed.

“How will you know unless you try?” the Hunter pointed out.

“But it’s Definitely Bad Guy’s turn to lead!” Qube said, looking at the Mage. “I don’t want to take away his turn!” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady also looked at the Mage.

“Well, Mage, you don’t object to our Healer dominating us for a room, now do you?”

Definitely Bad Guy stared straight ahead.

“An odd way to phrase it, but I have no objections to ceding my leadership for the next room,” he said, continuing to thoughtfully peer through the open doorway. “I think it would be most… enlightening.”

“You’re no fun,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady pouted. Even though she’d gotten her way!

“I agree with our ever-clever Hunter,” Sewer Bard said, smiling at Qube and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady.

“Fine,” Qube nearly snapped, ungraciously accepting leadership. “I’ll be in charge of the next room. But after that it’s someone else’s turn!”

“So you say now,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady purred, recovering from her pouting. “Wait until you taste the joys of being in command.”

“Hrmph,” Qube huffed, before stomping into the next room, the others right behind her. She would show them what a terrible leader she was! She would just refuse to solve whatever puzzle or disable whatever traps were in the next room until the others had contributed. She would force them to let her support them instead of leading. Which was a very convoluted thought to hold in her head, and only made her stomp harder right past a Save Point and into the next room.

She abruptly stopped stomping.

The next room didn’t contain any puzzles. Or platforms. Or traps. Instead it contained a huge sandstorm, rearing up before them.

“Oh no,” Qube groaned.

They’d made it to a Boss room.