《Give me my lily pad back.》Cruel and unusual
Advertisement
Gidea had a rather, shall we say striking look. With firey red hair like her daughter, but cut short so nothing could grab it and piercing green eyes, and as per usual was clad in a set of armour made from assorted monster bits (which when you are crushed against it in a gigantic bear hug is definitely uncomfortable). At her waist sat the legendary holy sword, which for some reason she had named Frank. (This of course lead to far more amusing stories than some poser name like painbringer, and no before you ask it did not suck souls to power their owner as Gidea found that if used properly it didn’t matter if it did silly stuff like that given that a few feet of metal made stuff plenty dead with less chance of turning on you.) On her back sat a small buckler barely larger than her fist, (she liked the way it sounded when she punched people with it alright?) There was of course no cape, no real fighter wears something that practically has “tug me” written in it in big flashing letters. For the same reason despite her rank there wasn’t a scrap of jewelery on her, especially not piercings, as she had zero desire to experience rapid removal of such things by an opponent, that’s a lesson you only learn once.
Mibbet tried desperately to squirm free, but from her suddenly acquired mother’s strength she was fairly sure that being captured by a horned grizzly would give hr greater odds of escape. So she held on until Gidea was done, perfectly willing to swear she could feel her eyeballs bulging out with every megasqueeze.
“What brings you here mother?” Rosalind asked desperately trying to distract her. (She already knew of course, but Gidea tended to only think of one thing at a time, so the key here was to distract her into dialogue while her innards were still... well.. key word here is IN.)
Advertisement
“What do you think? You missed check in silly. You know how I worry when you are late reporting in. Now suppose you tell me what exactly happened.”
Rosalind, just relieved that for now the vise like grip of the Gidea patented crusher bear hug of clinginess +1kajillion had finally been released, or at the least loosened enough for her to wriggle loose, she started to gradually tell the tale of their journey so far, step by step, though they could see her knuckles whiten at particular parts of the story where the team were in danger, it was fairly obvious she was resisting the urge to go, hunt down the people who caused the danger, and thump them one (things that Gidea punched tended not to be the same afterwards. Be it a man, or a 3/4 foot thick reinforced enchanted castle wall when she hit something it always left a mark, and by mark I mean crater.)
Luckily Gidea followed a pretty straightforward system, you fight something, beat it to a pulp, then forget about it, grudges were pointless to her once she knew she could beat something.
“Now about this Malachai person, he scared my daughter, mind letting me handle his punishment sweetie? I have the perfect punishment in mind.”
“Oh? Do tell” Rosalind tried weakly, while inside her Mibbet tried desperately to forget the squeeziest hug in the history of hug-dom.
“He wants to try hiding crimes in paperwork? I’m going to make him fix the mess made by lord Upsidaisi in the archive”
Rosalind gasped in horror at this, she had seen that particular mountain of papers before, compared to it pushing boulders uphill for eternity had a better parole arrangement, being chained to a rock for eagles to extract organs? Sissy stuff, emptying a gigantic lake with a winkle shell? Easy peasy. Death sentence was the humane option here. That lord in question had considered chewing gum to be an acceptable page mark, had thought of filing as a mere suggestion, and had somehow despite being the most incompetent seeming wastrel on the face of the planet, been in fact the most corrupt incompetent seeming wastrel on the face of the planet, till Gidea found out and secretly set him up doing paperwork for the local mob, who really didn’t appreciate incompetence and were rather, shall we say... creative, in dealing with it.
Advertisement
Cleaning up that mess? That made a death sentence seem kind in comparison. There was a life sentence, and a death sentence on the books in the kingdom, but Rosalind had never before heard of a fate worse than death sentence.
“Don’t worry dear, we’ll take care of him, we’ll accommodate him in the student barracks right next door to the knights order. This gained another wince from Rosalind, who was beginning to think not killing him when they fought him had been an act of cruelty. A lifetime in student quarters? Wow even hell wouldn’t be that cruel. Those places cultivated more fungi than the Sporeling forest, she had heard the dust bunnies there were the horned variant with rudimentary skill use, and the thing in the kitchen cold storage was technically speaking an elder god.
“Now about those Automata dear.” Gidea began”
“Mam we handled that , they’re living in peace now, and I’d quite like to keep it that way.”
“Oh I know dear that wasn’t what I was going to say, they’ve been through quite enough.”
“Then what?”
“I understand that they have a protodragon there, do you think he would object to a friendly spar sometime, don’t worry I’d use a wooden sword, I don’t want to hurt the poor thing, but I haven’t had a decent match since Stormfury the dark stopped returning my messages. Can you believe he called me a bully? He’s an elder dragon for Pete's sake, key word elder. How was I supposed to know he would be such a big baby about losing?”
“Mum he’s a multi-tonne necromantic construct made of granite fossil and metal and the only one of his kind in existence, plus capable of using meteor magic.”
“So is that a no then?”
Advertisement
- In Serial1363 Chapters
VRMMO: The Unrivaled
Lu Chen used to be a ranker of the most popular VRMMO game, Spirit of Grief. After a car accident turned his dreams into dust, his disability left him incapable of escaping the pit of mediocrity he was thrown into. Helpless and defeated, his story ended.Two years later, the Eternal Moon Corporation launched a new VRMMO called "Heavenblessed", and Lu Chen stumbled into another terrible accident that left him in a complicated situation far beyond his ability to handle. That won't stop him from rising to the top, however. Not again.Come witness the rise of the sword-wielding zombie and the relationships he makes during his journey to the apex! For riches and bi- ahem, for career and love!He wields a demonic sword from Hell, he dons armor shining with Heaven's light. His boots stride across the sky as his helmet devours the souls of his enemies. On his left side sits the Goddess of Death. On the other, the Angel of Beauty.From the land of ice and death, a generation of Asura Kings rises, their roars reverberating throughout the world.Tremble in fear, noobs!
8 8158 - In Serial1353 Chapters
Refining the Mountains and Rivers
A young man's life changes when he stumbles upon a mysterious item. Qin Yu had never been a lucky person. Weak of body, bullied by his peers, and with only his friend as his family, he struggles day-by-day to live. But everything changes when he stumbles upon a little blue lamp. An immortal and demonic cultivating adventure.
8 3346 - In Serial2455 Chapters
Mortal Cultivation Biography
A poor and ordinary boy from a village joins a minor sect in Jiang Hu and becomes an Unofficial Disciple by chance. How will Han Li, a commoner by birth, establish a foothold for himself in in his sect? With his mediocre aptitude, he must successfully traverse the treacherous path of cultivation and avoid the notice of those who may do him harm. This is a story of an ordinary mortal who, against all odds, clashes with devilish demons and ancient celestials in order to find his own path towards immortality.
8 1057 - In Serial1503 Chapters
Dragon Prince Yuan
Destiny stolen at birth, the prince of the once mighty Great Zhou Empire, Zhou Yuan, has been plagued all his life by a fatal poison, forced to suffer powerlessly until one day when fate draws him into a mysterious domain where he meets a beautiful girl in green, a bizarre dog-like creature and an unfathomable old man in black.Join Zhou Yuan as he is thrust into the whirlpool of destiny while he seeks the pinnacle of cultivation.
8 1060 - In Serial677 Chapters
Ranker's Return
In the early days of the virtual reality game, Arena, meleegod was the strongest ranked player! He deleted his character and suddenly left. In order to restore his bankrupt family, he returned to Arena!"Do you want to create a character?"
8 1719 - In Serial1525 Chapters
Monarch of Evernight
Qianye rose from hardship but was felled by betrayal. From then, one man, one gun; he tread the path between Evernight and Daybreak and became a legend. Even if Evernight was destined to be his fate, he still intends to become the ruler who dictates.
8 22867

