《Give me my lily pad back.》Cruel and unusual
Advertisement
Gidea had a rather, shall we say striking look. With firey red hair like her daughter, but cut short so nothing could grab it and piercing green eyes, and as per usual was clad in a set of armour made from assorted monster bits (which when you are crushed against it in a gigantic bear hug is definitely uncomfortable). At her waist sat the legendary holy sword, which for some reason she had named Frank. (This of course lead to far more amusing stories than some poser name like painbringer, and no before you ask it did not suck souls to power their owner as Gidea found that if used properly it didn’t matter if it did silly stuff like that given that a few feet of metal made stuff plenty dead with less chance of turning on you.) On her back sat a small buckler barely larger than her fist, (she liked the way it sounded when she punched people with it alright?) There was of course no cape, no real fighter wears something that practically has “tug me” written in it in big flashing letters. For the same reason despite her rank there wasn’t a scrap of jewelery on her, especially not piercings, as she had zero desire to experience rapid removal of such things by an opponent, that’s a lesson you only learn once.
Mibbet tried desperately to squirm free, but from her suddenly acquired mother’s strength she was fairly sure that being captured by a horned grizzly would give hr greater odds of escape. So she held on until Gidea was done, perfectly willing to swear she could feel her eyeballs bulging out with every megasqueeze.
“What brings you here mother?” Rosalind asked desperately trying to distract her. (She already knew of course, but Gidea tended to only think of one thing at a time, so the key here was to distract her into dialogue while her innards were still... well.. key word here is IN.)
Advertisement
“What do you think? You missed check in silly. You know how I worry when you are late reporting in. Now suppose you tell me what exactly happened.”
Rosalind, just relieved that for now the vise like grip of the Gidea patented crusher bear hug of clinginess +1kajillion had finally been released, or at the least loosened enough for her to wriggle loose, she started to gradually tell the tale of their journey so far, step by step, though they could see her knuckles whiten at particular parts of the story where the team were in danger, it was fairly obvious she was resisting the urge to go, hunt down the people who caused the danger, and thump them one (things that Gidea punched tended not to be the same afterwards. Be it a man, or a 3/4 foot thick reinforced enchanted castle wall when she hit something it always left a mark, and by mark I mean crater.)
Luckily Gidea followed a pretty straightforward system, you fight something, beat it to a pulp, then forget about it, grudges were pointless to her once she knew she could beat something.
“Now about this Malachai person, he scared my daughter, mind letting me handle his punishment sweetie? I have the perfect punishment in mind.”
“Oh? Do tell” Rosalind tried weakly, while inside her Mibbet tried desperately to forget the squeeziest hug in the history of hug-dom.
“He wants to try hiding crimes in paperwork? I’m going to make him fix the mess made by lord Upsidaisi in the archive”
Rosalind gasped in horror at this, she had seen that particular mountain of papers before, compared to it pushing boulders uphill for eternity had a better parole arrangement, being chained to a rock for eagles to extract organs? Sissy stuff, emptying a gigantic lake with a winkle shell? Easy peasy. Death sentence was the humane option here. That lord in question had considered chewing gum to be an acceptable page mark, had thought of filing as a mere suggestion, and had somehow despite being the most incompetent seeming wastrel on the face of the planet, been in fact the most corrupt incompetent seeming wastrel on the face of the planet, till Gidea found out and secretly set him up doing paperwork for the local mob, who really didn’t appreciate incompetence and were rather, shall we say... creative, in dealing with it.
Advertisement
Cleaning up that mess? That made a death sentence seem kind in comparison. There was a life sentence, and a death sentence on the books in the kingdom, but Rosalind had never before heard of a fate worse than death sentence.
“Don’t worry dear, we’ll take care of him, we’ll accommodate him in the student barracks right next door to the knights order. This gained another wince from Rosalind, who was beginning to think not killing him when they fought him had been an act of cruelty. A lifetime in student quarters? Wow even hell wouldn’t be that cruel. Those places cultivated more fungi than the Sporeling forest, she had heard the dust bunnies there were the horned variant with rudimentary skill use, and the thing in the kitchen cold storage was technically speaking an elder god.
“Now about those Automata dear.” Gidea began”
“Mam we handled that , they’re living in peace now, and I’d quite like to keep it that way.”
“Oh I know dear that wasn’t what I was going to say, they’ve been through quite enough.”
“Then what?”
“I understand that they have a protodragon there, do you think he would object to a friendly spar sometime, don’t worry I’d use a wooden sword, I don’t want to hurt the poor thing, but I haven’t had a decent match since Stormfury the dark stopped returning my messages. Can you believe he called me a bully? He’s an elder dragon for Pete's sake, key word elder. How was I supposed to know he would be such a big baby about losing?”
“Mum he’s a multi-tonne necromantic construct made of granite fossil and metal and the only one of his kind in existence, plus capable of using meteor magic.”
“So is that a no then?”
Advertisement
- In Serial183 Chapters
The Goblin Nation
They should have fought back. They felt his disdain, but no one wanted to believe - believe that they were never loved. That they can just appease him again. Sacrifice their lives again. Conquered the...
8 429 - In Serial56 Chapters
Tales of the Old World Demon Lord
1984 had indeed come, however it was 100 years late. In 2084 a man named [Sovereign] had taken control of the entire globe and the destiny of Humanity itself was in his hands. Many called him evil, perhaps he was, but Sovereign believed that he was cultivating the future of humanity; he knew that if Humanity continued on its current trajectory it would not last. However his plans came to an abrupt end when he was tragically murdered by his closest confidante. For a time after that the world finally found peace as their evil overlord had been overthrown but as Sovereign had predicted the world indeed came to an end. Humanity had returned to its old ways, they reconstructed borders, created separations known as 'countries' and in the end without unification and a single future, war had once again engulfed the world. Slowly as it choked on its own ineptitude the humans killed themselves off as their resources depleted and the planet was made uninhabitable. However this was not the end of the story for Sovereign, but a new beginning. Born again in a world of swords and sorcery he quietly evaluates the mettle of these new humans. Should they not come to meet his standards then 'Sovereign' would also be reborn. "To the primitive fools who believe magic reigns supreme, allow me to demonstrate the might of the old world technology."Arc 1: Kenesis Enhancement Project/SovereignArc 2: Human Immortalization Project/Nemesis Arc 3: The Skyfall Project/Gungnir
8 224 - In Serial16 Chapters
Swillow the Slaughterhound
Fourteen years ago, Swillow the wolf got betrayed by her own brother. Alone, she was corrupted and only found friends in a small pack that took her in. Now, she walks the world as the "Slaughterhound", a legendary beast who's known for her massive strength. While looting her home village after a hyena invasion with her friend, Citrus Snow, she finds out that Citrus' new boyfriend is none other than the brother that turned on her.In the mix, they get caught up in a feud bigger than themselves. Wars between a mustelid species known as crimsons, the hyena clans who want to take back what was promised, and the insanely patriotic canine kingdom known as Canida.
8 367 - In Serial75 Chapters
Heaven Warrior
"Just fight a little while longer baby boy.""I'm tired."
8 233 - In Serial23 Chapters
Nine Circles
Bringing us to Now, in the Fifth Circle, land of Game and Lumber under the Sign of the plentiful Tree, two brothers find themselves embroiled in the games of Birds and Men. They have come to celebrate the Red Harvest, the Last Day before the Winter, when the sky burns red and the night grows longest. Tolan and Vir, Woodsmen from the Wolf Hair Mountains, have come to gather with friends and family upon this night. However, a strange and powerful storm keeps them in town for days, as spirits grow restless and Talk of evil things comes to pass. Later, when the storm subsides, the two brothers venture forth to find their way home and discover something else. There the woods, by the path they travel, they find a pale beautiful woman, in a strange dress, cast down in a ditch. This is Althea, Granddaughter to Malic of the Demons House of Fire, promised bride the current Head of the Demons House of Salmon, Red Fish. And trouble for the Nine. Her abduction has set forth into motion, a feud between the Demonic Houses, which even now threatens to spill into the Nine Circles proper and bring about a new age of darkness. Tolan and Vir must set out to return Althea to her people to prevent war, but not all are so simple. For there are those who stand to profit from such ill fortunes, Both Below the Earth and Above it. And they will tolerate no disruption of their plans, even to the extent of death.
8 174 - In Serial126 Chapters
CHANNELERS
Astrid Hale is a Channeler. One of few humans with the innate talent to sense and transform energy. But in the emotionally unstable or unruly, it is a volatile, involuntary compulsion. Deemed too dangerous to live among mundane “Statics”, Astrid and others of her kind are restricted to isolation facilities known as Sanctuaries. Trained to suppress their nature, they are not permitted contact with the outside. And they can never leave. Until mysterious men in uniform come to Sanctuary Endra to request the aid of its most disciplined Channeler for a perilous mission. But Astrid's new calling evokes unprecedented abilities. And should they overwhelm her, she condemns her people to exile forever. Beset with ambitious allies, unfamiliar emotions, and violent opposition, Astrid is about to discover exactly why everyone feared what Channelers might grow capable of if pushed. CHANNELERS is an action/sci-fi series that depicts Humanity's future as "mages" in the space age. Follow Astrid from peaceful obscurity into the torrent of combat, intrigue, war, and purpose. If you are a fan of Mass Effect or Star Wars, you'll find something to enjoy in CHANNELERS.
8 277

