“Joel, mate. I haven’t got much money left, but you can have it to try and get the van fixed up.”

He shook his head. “We’re coming back. The flat hasn’t been touched, unlike yours. It would have been a blessing if it had. There’s fucking flies and mould and it's… well it’s just rotten, mate. Lierin took one look at the place and suddenly decided she didn’t want to stay here,” he said with a hint of bitterness as he eyed me.

“Well, I won’t say I’m not happy to have you back. Shame you can’t bring the van. It’s pretty good at dropping demons,” I laughed. Honestly, though, I had an overwhelming urge to cry from the relief I felt that everyone was still alive, and Joel was coming back.

He didn’t look so happy. “This was you, wasn’t it? I saw you pulling Lierin back to the kitchen area earlier when she tried to leave with the water. Right before you tried to talk me into staying.”

“It wasn’t Clive, Joel,” Lierin snapped. It was the sternest I’d heard her speak. Ever.

“I asked him to talk to you again and he said he wouldn’t. But I begged him to.”

“Why?” Joel asked her, looking from her to me completely flabbergasted. “I thought you wanted to come here?”

“I did at first. Then I saw how happy you were with your new skills, and I wasn’t sure if we should leave anymore because we’d both found a place to belong. I was still intrigued by your world, and I was still happy to come here, to be with you. But… this place it’s horrible. I can’t bear it, Joel. I’m sorry.”

Joel’s head fell. “You should have told me,” he muttered quietly. “I feel like a total idiot now.”

“She should have told you, and I told her to tell you,” I said. Joel looked at me with a bit of heat in his eyes, which faded as I continued. “But she cares so much for your happiness that she didn’t want to spoil your dreams.”

“I’ve only got one dream now, Lierin and that’s being wherever you are and making you happy.”

Lierin smiled broadly and jumped into Joel’s arms. They hugged in silence for a while before they let go.

“Life will be good, Joel. I am sure of it now,” she said stroking his arm.

“Well, we’re going to have to make sure of it aren’t we?” He turned back to me. “Come on then, help me get all my stuff out the van. You’re not the only one with gear to take back. I’ve already put loads in my robes, but most of it will have to be carried.”

“Sure dude. We should probably be quick before we have any more visitors. That was way too close for comfort.”

“Aye. Let’s shake this up,” Grimstrom added. “Show me what you’ve got, Joel.”

When Joel swung open the back doors, prompting a groan from all. It was brimming with gear.

I shook my head when I noticed the Flatpack king size bed from Ikea.

“Are you fucking serious Joel? When the hell did you go to Ikea?”

“It’s been sitting in the house for ages. I just never got round to putting it up. Once we have a few buildings up, this’ll come in a treat.”

I eyed the vacuum-packed memory foam mattress with envy. “Fuck. I wish I’d thought of that when we were at the retail park.”

I was honestly tempted to try and get some life out of the van and go back down for a mattress, but when I looked Grimstrom, his glare was answer enough. “As much as I enjoyed the fight, lad, we're both out of power in this shitty world of yours, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. I’m not risking my life, so you can get some comfy bedding that’s inferior to what we already have in the Nideland.

“You’ll trade me a mattress?” I asked

“Of course we’ll trade you a mattress. I’ll give you a damn mattress. Now get Joel’s stuff through the portal so we can get back home!”

Grimstom grabbed the flatpack bed in question, from the van and headed up to my flat. I reluctantly grabbed the mattress and followed.

“Put it there,” he said pointing at the floor near the portal. “Tell the rest to leave everything there too,” he said, then stepped fully through the portal.

I did as he asked explaining to the others as I passed them on the stairs. By the time I’d retrieved a box from the van and was heading back up, a number of dwarves were passing me on the stairs in the other direction. My friends hadn’t come back down either. Once I reached the room, Grimstrom was waiting for me.

“The lads will get the rest of Joel’s gear. It’s you Destruction can track here. So let’s get you back to Nuinaer.

I was exhausted and more than happy to agree. With one last look around, I mentally said goodbye to the place. I doubted I’d ever be back.

On the other side of the portal, Grigor’s emotions hit me with a surprising amount of force. Relief that I was back if I had to guess.

“Hey Grigor, you okay, dude?”

“I am. Now that we have all of your things, are we leaving?”

I didn’t get the chance to answer, as Grimstrom was quicker. “Tomorrow now, Grigor. We’ll load all of this gear up on waggons and we need to address the problem that Destruction’s followers can track Clive far too easily. Better if they can’t before you head back to Far Reach. They may even think he left the area for good if we’re lucky.”

“I’m not going to complain. If there’s a way, we can block Destruction dropping in on my life any fucking time they want, then count me in. I hate to say it, but I actually miss the Hoodie of Devotion.”

“What’s a Hoodie?” Grimstrom asked.

“Well, dear Grimstrom. It’s a jumper with a hood.”

“And ye don’t think the dwarves can make a damn jumper with a hood that can hide you from Destruction, ey?”

“Well, sure, I guess I haven’t thought about it too much.”

“Well fear not, the tailors of Nuinaer are more than up to the task.”

“Is there any chance you can make the hood extra-large?” Joel asked. “To account for his ever-expanding head?”

“I’m sure we could manage that,” Grigor laughed, with a pat on my back. Seeming to understand the insult despite the cultural differences.”

“Just a normal sized hood is fine thanks,” I added quickly with a friendly glower for Joel.

With a hearty laugh, Grimstrom shooed us away with his hands. “Go on now. Get away with you all. You know the way back to your rooms and I’m sick of the sight of you. The amount of extra work I’ve had to do since your arrival is obscene, and you’ve all seriously cut into my coping time. Which is where I’m heading right now. To get drunk with the king and tell him all about your world and our adventure there. We’ll discuss setting up a MacDougal’s here in Nuinaer too.”

“That wasn’t the name and, oh hell no. Don’t do it, Grimstrom. Give me a little time to set up Clive’s place and you can franchise that. You won’t regret it, trust me,” I said with confidence.

“I’ll give you time, I suppose,” Grimstrom said thoughtfully. “Can you make those cheesy nacho bites?”

“Sure I can,” I laughed. “They’ll be a staple on the menu.”

“You’ll do for me, lad,” he said waving at us as he left the portal room.

I put my arm around Sania, and we followed him out into the entrance hall of the palace and out of the main entrance.

Once we were trekking along the street, I checked on Joel. I could see he still looked seriously troubled.

“Hey, mate. You okay?” I asked.

“I dunno, Clive. You should have told me how she felt,”

“Ha! Not a fucking chance, mate,” I laughed. The change from anger to sadness was like the flick of a switch. I didn’t give him a chance to respond.

“It wasn’t my job, mate. Can you remember how you reacted to me asking you just to stay? Imagine how me telling you Lierin wanted to stay here would have played out in real life?”

“I… shit, you’re probably right,” he sighed letting go of the anger a little.

“I’m definitely right Joel. You’re a stubborn ass. Now apart from feeling like you’ve failed. Which you haven’t, by the way. How’re you doing otherwise?”

“I feel like Mal is gonna take the piss badly when we see him next.”

I laughed aloud at that. “Who gives a shit what Mal thinks. He’d take the piss whatever you did. All that matters is what’s right for you and Lierin, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’m happy to be back. It was the right decision. Just one I needed to come to on my own. I’m glad I’ve had the chance to go back to. To kind of mentally say goodbye to earth and come here through my own choice.”

“Yeah, get you mate, it makes all of this feel so much more real, somehow. I feel the same. I bet you’re glad to have some of your gear too.”

“Hell yeah. We won’t even need the Dwarven builders now.”

“You sure about that? What about when your tools break from making thousands of buildings for all of the people apparently heading our way? What about the tools all the other people you’ll train up are gonna need? Are you gonna be our blacksmith as well, you daft shite?”

Joel grinned. “Okay, we need the Dwarves. At least I can show them all my trowels now and hopefully they can reproduce them. Though I don’t know if they’d be able to reproduce a spirit level, I might need to look after the ones I’ve got like the crown jewels.”

“Have you lost your mind, dude? Look around. These guys know how to build a straight fucking building.”

“True. I definitely need to talk to their builders about their methods.” There was a bit of an awkward pause before he continued. “I’m excited Clive, I really am. Thanks for trying to get me to stay and I’m sorry I didn’t listen. You know what it’s like.”

“I do, mate. You had to do it your way and that’s fine. Don’t suppose you got the chance to tell Daz’s family?”

“I don’t even know where his kids live at the minute. I was going to find you first. To make sure we didn’t miss the portal back here. Then I was gonna sort it out from there. But, well, things went a bit tits up didn’t they?”

“We’ll work it out one day. I’m sure we’ll get the opportunity to go back and let them know, somehow.”

We fell silent after discussing Daz. It was a painful memory that was hidden rather than healed most of the time. Sania was on hand to distract me, and she wasn’t happy.

“You realize we got no experience for killing those Demons and the Shadar?”

“I… hadn’t even thought about it yet. But it doesn’t surprise me.”

She shook her head in genuine despair. “Your world is an awful place Clive. I now understand why you were all so weak when we met you. It is a testament to your true nature that you’ve been able to develop in the way you have here. I now have no doubt you’ll become unstoppable in time.”

“I don’t think I’m going to have much choice. It’s either that or get permanently stomped.”

“You will overcome,” she said with finality.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing in the Glaeg, sampling the Dwarves' limited array of alcoholic beverages. It amounted to ale, whisky and Lawach. Unfamiliar with Lawach, Grigor enlightened me on the subject. It was the fermented milk from a Glypto. Which sounded strikingly similar to a giant armadillo type creature. Glypto’s were apparently herded in the Nidland of Kalabri for their meat and milk like cows were on the surface.

I tried them all in abundance and while the Lawash was the weakest, it was surprisingly moreish, with a sour taste like kefir.

It took a long time to get drunk with my size and Constitution. Half way down that road we were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Gilda, the receptionist, was there with another dwarf:

Hegnessn level 37: Master Tailor.

She introduced the grey bearded dwarf and then left. Hegnessn came into the room without waiting for a response from our beer addled minds.

“Let’s have a look at you then, big fella,” he said whipping a white cord with black marks etched along its length, from the belt at his waist.

He all but lashed it around my waist in a swift fluid movement. Taking the measurement just as quickly, he next jammed the cord to my neck in the next instant, while gently pinning it to my wrist, with a firm hand. From the same spot on my neck, he whipped the cord from my wrist to my waist. From there, he dropped it down to my ankle.

“Excellent. I believe you are set to leave tomorrow. We will have your… Hoodie of Darkness, made before you leave Nuinaer. All other garments will be a brought to Far Reach as they are ready. I believe you have procured little more than undergarments in your travels?”

“What? No,” I protested. The first words I’d spoken since he’d arrived. I mean they’re not great, but it’s a damn sight better than what I’ve had to wear since coming here.”

“You are the Lord of Far Reach. You should be attired accordingly. Do not fret. I have experience in such endeavours.”

I was swept away with his confidence, but pulled my shit together long enough to make one demand.

“Whatever you make, it has to be comfy, Hegnessn. I don’t want no stiff ass clothes that I can hardly move in as I won’t wear them, except maybe on special occasions. But you get the gist. I don’t want to waste your time.”

Hegnessn looked deeply offended. “Every moment is a special occasion, Lord Clive. Do you not realize this?”

“Look, I’m down with all the, enjoy the journey, not the destination stuff. But skin-tight leather trousers just aren’t going to cut it for me.”

Hegnessn nodded, “Master Grimstrom informs me you have material from your world that you like the feel of? Would you care to give me a sample?”

Sania pulled out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from her robes, and handed them to me. I passed them onto Hegnessn who took them with a critical eye.

“They’re not the greatest example to be honest,” I said self-consciously over my choice of clothes now. “They’re all I could get on short notice.”

“They are of poor quality, though the weave is impressive. Very fine though. What is the material? It’s not familiar to me and appears to offer very little natural protection and… ” he closed his eyes for a moment, then threw the t-shirt back at me. “Useless. It won’t hold any enchantments whatsoever. Whatever this material is, it’s unnatural.

“Ha, it’s probably plastic. Nylon or polyester or some shit. Don’t worry about the material as such. These hemp trousers were actually pretty comfortable before I grew and they got wrecked, I said pointing at the rags that covered my legs.”

“We have far better materials than hemp at our disposal. I assure you we can make garments that you will be comfortable in.”

“If you can, I will seriously be in your debt.”

Hegnessn grunted. “Sania?”

“That would be me,” she said coming to stand by my side, curiously.

He looked her up and down. “It is good to meet the Soul Mate of the Lord of Far Reach,” he said with a grunt, then left without another word.

We resumed our celebrations until the evening.