Chapter Fifty One: Check Lever Threshold

Following the slick stone stairs, with softly-glowing moss lighting their way, the party came to a stone platform overlooking a stone room, half-filled with water. On the platform next to them was a large lever, perfectly balanced in the middle of a groove. The lever was, unsurprisingly, also stone. On the floor of the room below them was a large closed clam, about the size of a horse. On the other side of the wall, level with the platform but high above the room below them was an open doorway, leading into another corridor.

Qube, making sure to stay far away from the ledge of the platform in case the Chosen One decided to try and “think quick” her over the edge again, studied the giant clam. After a few minutes, a steady stream of bubbles emerged from the clam’s lips. She narrowed her eyes at it in suspicion.

“Chosen One, I think that clam is alive,” she whispered to her friend.

“Probably,” the Chosen One responded mournfully. Qube looked in his direction, immediately concerned by his tone of voice. The Chosen One was looking from the lever to the water below, then back again. “I knew it would be something like this,” he explained to Qube morosely.

He reached out and touched the very tip of the lever. It instantly threw itself to one side, causing the water to rapidly drain out of the room. Qube, forgetting to be wary of friendly pushings, rushed to the edge of the platform to see where the water went. Tiny grates lined the room, and the lever appeared to have opened them! How clever! Still, there was no way that volume of water could dissipate that quickly through such small grates, no matter how many there were.

She turned to tell the Chosen One, only to see him still looking at the lever. Now, however, he was regarding said lever with a more thoughtful expression. He touched the lever’s tip again, causing it to violently throw itself to the other side. Grates in the ceiling opened up, and a torrent of water instantly cascaded down. Far, far more water than could be pushed through narrow grates. But this time the water level rose much higher than when the lever had been in the middle, until it lapped at the edge of the platform.

Now deep underwater, the giant clam started to open, revealing a humongous pearl.

“Something’s not quite right here —” Qube started to say, before the Chosen One tapped the lever again. As soon as it hit the left side of the groove, the ceiling grates shut off, and the floor grates opened, dumping out the freshly acquired liquid. The Chosen One hit it again, snapping it over to the right side, slamming the floor grates shut and reopening the ceiling holes.

Then he stuck his hand in the middle of the groove and slapped the lever back towards the left. He caught it in the middle, then brought his other hand around and started batting it back and forth, causing the grates to flicker open and shut, the water simultaneously flooding in and draining out. The clam kept partly opening and closing its mouth, like it was trying to yell at them from under the water, and the Chosen One laughed as he slapped the switch faster and faster, for all the world like an overgrown cat.

Finally there was a terrible crunching sound, and the lever stuck in the middle of the groove, back to its original position. Now, however, both the floor and ceiling grates were jammed wide open, waves of water continuously pouring in and out.

“Noble Patron, this seems like it will cause some issues,” Sewer Bard pointed out tactfully.

“I think if we try playing with that big stick we’ll be able to get further,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said. As the Chosen One stopped admiring his handiwork to look at her, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady actually seemed mildly embarrassed by what she’d just said. “I mean, it’s possible that we need to use the … lever… to change the … water … level.”

As Definitely Bad Guy opened his mouth to add to the discussion, the Chosen One threw himself into the water, now nearly level with the platform. Once again, Qube was going to be stuck walking along the bottom of the water and then clawing her way up.

Unless...

Gathering herself, Qube jumped directly on top of the Chosen One. She slammed feet first onto his shoulders, then used them as a springboard to launch herself across the room, smacking into the wall right under the open doorway, fingers just catching the ledge, and then hauling herself up.

The Chosen One flailed, the impact of Qube causing him to plummet to the bottom of the watery room, before he bounced back up, breaking the surface of the water with a gasp. He bobbed in place, staring at Qube in shock. Behind him, the other party members splashed their way into makeshift well.

“Did you just use me as a [fiddlesticking] skipping stone?” he demanded incredulously.

Qube reached out to help him up as the water level continued to rise. He took her hand and, with one swift movement, yanked her into the submerged room behind him, using the momentum to pull himself up out of the water into the steadily-flooding corridor.

“Chosen One!” Qube yelled as she sank like a stone. Fortunately, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was just swimming over her, and she was able to grab one of her long legs, causing the Hunter to squeal. Before Qube could climb up her companion to safety, though, the top of her foot caught on something.

The giant clam had gone crazy, continuously opening and closing. The lip of the shell had caught Qube’s foot and started dragging her down as the clam began closing itself again. Qube screamed, and the part of her that wasn’t panicking curiously noted the lack of bubbles coming out of her mouth. The rest of her, though, was fully preoccupied with the whole “potentially getting eaten by a giant clam” thing.

Above her, she saw the Chosen One draw his Sacred Sword, preparing to plunge in after her, but he was forestalled by Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. The giant arachnid felt Qube being pulled down, and instantly dove down, grabbing onto the clam's shell. Her claws wrapped around Qube’s ankle, pulling her free, before the Hunter used her grip on the shell’s edge to pull herself into the giant clam’s maw. Daggers appeared in several of her claws, and then the clam closed, hiding her from view.

Qube, having lost her buoy, immediately started falling again. Just before she hit the now-closed clam, she felt a hand close around her upper arm and throw her upwards towards the surface, hitting Definitely Bad Guy in the back as he reached the corridor. She clung to him as he climbed out of the water.

On the floor below them, the clam exploded into a giant pearl and a dozen small clamshells. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, freed from her sealife prison, peacefully floated back up to the surface while the Chosen One waved his hand over the loot, teleporting it all into (presumably) his backpack.

A few minutes later the entire party had regrouped in the corridor near the ceiling. The water level continued to bounce up and down as the Chosen One pointed at Qube.

“No using me as a stepping stone!” he sternly ordered her.

“But otherwise I sink!” Qube protested.

“No!” the Chosen One said. “Bad companion! No jumping on me!”

“I’m not an animal!” Qube pouted.

“No. Jump. Allowed.”

“Fine,” Qube sighed. “But you have to give me a piggyback ride or something when we go in water; you can’t just go jumping in on your own.” Qube felt, rather than saw, the other companions shift, and hurriedly cut them off before anyone could speak. “Anyway, let’s keep going, no need to discuss this further,” she said, sloshing as rapidly as she could down the corridor. “Sewer Bard, can you please check for traps?”

Sewer Bard, distracted from whatever fight he’d been about to start, gave a small bow.

“It would be an honour,” he said, gracefully running on ahead. Definitely Bad Guy summoned a fireball to add to the ambient lighting, and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady kept her daggers out, her four legs making the ankle-deep water churn.

The Chosen One, meanwhile, was examining the clamshells he’d acquired, turning them over in his hands. He started to raise one to his mouth before he caught Qube’s eye and almost sheepishly handed it over to her. She looked at it for a moment, then handed it back.

“It’s a clamshell,” Qube told him, helpfully.

“Yeah but what does it do?” the Chosen One asked. “Is it an ingredient?”

“Not in any potion I know of,” Qube replied. “We might find a recipe that calls for them, though.” She frowned at the shell. “This probably sounds strange, but it doesn’t feel like an ingredient.” They were reaching the end of the corridor, where another open doorway greeted them. The water had drained away from their feet, and all the water had dripped off the others, leaving them perfectly dry.

“Yeah, they’re appearing below my gold count, which is a little worrying,” the Chosen One said. “This place had better not have its own currency on top of all the other [balderdash].”

Up above, pink and blue lights glowed. Faint singing could be heard, followed by an exclamation from Sewer Bard, then a splash.

“Gold is the universal currency,” Qube said absentmindedly, distracted by the music. “It’s the only precious metal that doesn’t weigh anything in coin format.” She tried to refocus on the Chosen One. “Wait, what do you mean gold count?”

“How much gold I’ve got,” he replied, before they reached the open doorway and all thoughts flew away.

Just below them was an enchanting grotto. Turquoise blue water lapped at a smooth rock jutting above the surface, while stalactites dripped from the ceiling. Little pink and blue orbs circled around, with some clustering into little alcoves carved into the cave’s walls. Light beamed up from beneath the water, coating the whole area in a pale blue hue.

But that was not what drew the eye. Rather, it was the mermaid sitting on the slanted stone, bathed in the blue dappled light, watching as Sewer Bard swam towards her. She was, quite simply, the most beautiful creature Qube had ever seen. Long, seaweed-like blue hair flowed down the length of her body and pooled in the water around her, gently twisting in the eddies. Her ears were big and pointy enough to make a full-blooded elf feel faint with jealousy. Gills sliced along her neck, and from the clavicle down she gradually transformed from a humanoid woman into a fish. With a flick of her giant, iridescent tail, she playfully splashed Sewer Bard.

Her song, though, reached right through any critical thinking and exploded into a frisson of joy. As the Chosen One crossed the threshold the song faded away, leaving only echoes.

“I greet you. Hello,” she warbled, raising up her hands towards the Hero. As she did, Qube spotted golden shackles around the mermaid’s wrists, chaining her to the rock. Her voice was soft and soothing, like how Qube imagined the hush of waves against sand would sound.

The Chosen One raised an eyebrow as Sewer Bard hoisted himself up onto the rock, sitting at the mermaid’s tail and pulling out his lute. His fingers danced across the strings, green mana gently rising in the air and dispersing within the grotto, adding hints of green to the blue and pink floating around.

“I ask you, will you help me?” the sea creature asked, her big black eyes drawing everyone in.

“I would give my life for one as enchanting as yourself,” Sewer Bard said, staring at her with puppy-like devotion. Her gaze shifted, casually caressing Sewer Bard, before returning to the Chosen One.

“Sure,” the Chosen One said, casually picking up Qube and hoisting her onto his back into the classic piggybacking pose, accidentally jamming his backpack into her stomach, then jumping feet first into the water.

Next time, Qube vowed as the duo plunged down, causing the backpack to lift and crack under her jaw, she would make him remove the bag before the piggyback.