The doorway opened onto a large corridor, lined with moss-covered stones and broken statues being slowly strangled by vines. The Chosen One drew his sacred sword, and motioned for the other two to take the lead.

“There may be traps.” He said.

So he sent Sewer Bard and Qube on ahead? Qube suppressed a snort. Although… she watched as Sewer Bard’s eyes flicked from side to side of the corridor, noting certain abnormalities or differences.

“Traps are there, there, and there.” He said, pointing out various tiles to the Chosen One.

“Okay, so, you.” The Chosen One pointed at Qube. “Your… ‘invisibility curse’ should stop the traps from activating. Go to the end of the corridor and see if there’s a lever you can pull or something.”

Qube hesitated for a second. The traps didn’t have eyes, so how could her invisibility matter? Still, the Chosen One always seemed to know what to do, so she set off down the corridor, carefully avoiding the traps Sewer Bard had pointed out. She had thought that Sewer Bard would accompany her to look for more traps, especially as a large stone pillar had fallen in the middle of the corridor, making it impossible to see the last part of the corridor. But instead Sewer Bard was just idly strumming his lute, while the Chosen One was holding up his bent stick, looking at it with the same vacant expression he’d had after combat training.

Qube eyed the fallen pillar doubtfully. Where had such a large pillar even come from? It clearly wasn’t structural, otherwise the corridor would have collapsed in.

Sewer Bard must have a spell that lets him sense traps in the entire area, she thought as she edged around the over-large pillar. Extremely useful, especially in situations like this. Qube felt a little bit ashamed of her earlier contempt for his skills. His lockpicking (even though he hadn’t even tried to use it on the large treasure chest) and ability to sense traps were absolutely critical to-

‘Click’ went a stone tile under her foot. Qube stared at it in shock, then saw hundreds of tiny holes open up in the walls.

“He’s definitely useless!” Qube screamed as she ran down the rest of the corridor, thousands of feathered darts firing out of the walls at her. “Definitely, definitely useless!”

‘Click’, ‘click’, ‘clonk’. More tiles went off underfoot, causing gouts of flame to erupt from the floor and swinging blades to descend from the ceiling.

“How are you still working?” Qube screamed at them, “I’m invisible! Go after Sewer Bard! No! Noooo!” She spotted a large lever sticking out of the ground at the end of the corridor, next to a giant wooden door. “Die traps, die!” She yelled and flung herself at the lever, violently wrenching it down.

The traps instantly stopped. Even the feathered darts disappeared without a trace. Qube clung to the stone lever, panting wildly.

She’d almost died. She’d almost been hit by ten million different traps. She almost got turned into a bag of coins.

Once they’d saved the world, she was going to kill Sewer Bard.

The Chosen One and Sewer Bard walked around the fallen pillar and into view only to find their stalwart Healer calmly standing next to a stone lever, not a hair out of place.

“Everything all right?” The Chosen One asked casually.

“Oh, there were a couple of traps towards the end, nothing I couldn’t handle.” Qube said as sagely as she could. “Still, some warning would have been nice.” She gave Sewer Bard her strongest Understanding Smile. “I’m sure next time you’ll make sure to scan the entire area though, yes?”

Sewer Bard recoiled slightly from the power of her understanding aura.

“Of course. Of course! A million pardons, m’lady!” He said, removing his hat and flourishing it as he bowed. He started to sweat. “I wish only to-”

“Don’t worry about it!” Qube said perkily, clapping her hands together and resting her left cheek against her right hand, tilting her head to the side cutely. “I’m sure next time you’ll do better, teehee!~”

Sewer Bard looked faintly ill.

“I… will.” He managed finally.

“Okay, Chosen One, let’s go!” Qube chirruped. “I left the door for you to open, teehee!”

The Chosen One studied her briefly before shrugging. “Sure thing, let’s go!” He said and, putting his hand against the giant wooden door, pushed it open.

“Oh no.” He groaned, looking at the vista before them. “I hate platforming. I hate platforming so very much.”

Above them stretched a seemingly endless column, filled with wooden platforms and clusters of vines that didn’t look particularly strongly attached to said platforms. Several of the vine clusters were curled up, with glowing gems just above them.

If the previous large pit had been the group wending their way through the roots of the giant tree, then this was where they would climb the inside of the trunk.

“Do you think the Forest Temple’s heart is at the top of the tree?” Qube asked the Chosen One.

“Of course it’s at the top of the tree.” The Chosen One said, covering his face with his hands. “It’s always at the top. Or the very bottom. Basically any configuration that allows them to ruin my day with [gosh darn] platforms.”

Qube racked her brains trying to think of what traumatic event could have happened to the Chosen One to cause such a violent response to platforms. Had they had any platforms in the village? She couldn’t remember them having any abnormally high ones. Just the normal ones near the villagers’ various houses to allow the Rogue to practice jumping onto the rooftops and running from roof to roof.

Had she somehow missed a formative life event of the Chosen One’s? How was that even possible? She was supposed to be his Companion! She looked at the Hero, tears forming.

“I’m so sorry I failed you.” She said.

The Chosen One, no doubt deep in his horrifying memories, continued to glare at the platforms.

Sewer Bard looked from Qube to the Chosen One.

“There is no great reward without valiant deed.” He said, gently putting a hand on the Chosen One’s shoulder. “Come. I shall sing us a song, to bolster our spirits. An ode, composed of our first fight together. You may know it by its working title: ‘Fire Solves Problems’.”

“Oh the house it was big,

And the owner a pig,

So we took all their things

And gave fire wings,

And now~ our problems are solved,

Tralala,

Yes now~ our problems are solved,

Tra la la!”

The Chosen One and Qube both stared at Sewer Bard.

“That… was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.” Qube whispered, covering her mouth. Her eyes were shining like stars. “I’ve never had someone compose a song of my deeds before.”

“Wait, you were with us then, fair maiden?” Sewer Bard asked, confused. “But it was so dangerous! If only I had known you were there I would have-”

The (figurative, rather than literal) spell caused by his song dissipated, as Sewer Bard reminded Qube that he was, in fact, still Sewer Bard, with all that entailed. She quickly deployed her Understanding Smile, and Sewer Bard ground to a halt.

The Chosen One, however, continued to look at Sewer Bard.

“That can’t have been part of your scripting.” He said eventually.

“I assure you, this was no scripted song. All original.” Sewer Bard puffed up his chest proudly.

The Chosen One scratched his head, and looked from Sewer Bard to Qube and back again.

“Well, at least things break in interesting ways here.” He said cryptically. “Come on, let’s get up these stupid platforms and find the boss.”

So saying, he pulled out his bent stick and threw it at the gem just above them. Rather than smashing the gem, or just hitting it with a thump and then falling to the ground, as one would expect from someone randomly deciding to go around hitting minerals with thrown sticks, there was a TING sound and the previously white gem started glowing green. The clump of vines underneath it unfurled themselves, spooling down until they were within reach. Several other vines above them followed suit, unrolling to dangle enticingly from their platforms, while some of the already unfurled vines, perhaps offended by the other vines, curled themselves back up into clumps.

All of this was extraordinary enough. But then the bent stick, having lost none of its momentum from hitting the gem, flew back into the Chosen One’s hand! Qube gaped at it. No wonder it had been alone inside such a large chest! Clearly this was a super powerful mystical artefact!

---

Qube added “platforms” to her list of things she hated. It was a list that had been growing steadily ever since she’d left the village.

It wasn’t that climbing the vines was particularly difficult. Even though Qube had never done a pullup in her life, she was still able to easily climb up the vines. Even gripping the vines themselves was as simple as holding them - her hands never got cramped or tired, and even when she’d had to hang onto a vine for nearly five minutes because the Chosen One kept missing the gem to progress she’d been able to keep a hold without any real strain.

No. It was the jumping she hated. The Chosen One, and even Sewer Bard, seemed to have no problem flinging themselves from platform to platform, ignoring the increasingly large drop. But every time she came up to the edge of a platform and stared into the gaping abyss beneath her she felt dizzy and faint. She’d had no problem standing on top of the Town Hall roof back in the village, why then was this so terrifying?

It certainly didn’t help that the Chosen One kept -

“AAAAAH!” THUMP. …”Heal please!”

Falling.

For all his bravery in recklessly jumping from one platform to another, the Chosen One seemed to have absolutely no coordination. He would make several jumps flawlessly, before getting overconfident and trying to sprint and jump, or just keep jumping without stopping and assessing the actual distance. This became especially problematic when, for reasons known best to the tree, the platforms started slowly moving backwards and forwards. It was almost like the tree itself didn’t want them to climb it! But if that were the case, why even have platforms at all?

Unless this was some sort of test, designed to allow only the worthy to rise to the top.

Qube glared at the top of the tree, where she imagined its heart to be. How did jumping on moving platforms prove any kind of worthiness? The whole premise was flawed! Not to mention, where did a tree get the right to try and make judgements on the moral fiber of human and human adjacent beings? Even if they were invading its insides!

...Wait.

“AAAAAAH!” THUMP. The Chosen One once again missed the mark and face planted onto a lower platform. Qube assessed the distance. Just far enough he would need healing. With a sigh she cast [Lesser Heal] and [Lesser Shield] on the Chosen One. He immediately sprang to his feet and started climbing again, the shield shimmering around him.

If nothing else, Qube was at least learning exactly how far someone could fall before serious injury, and exactly how much damage could be offset by her shielding.

“I am so glad I brought you with me.” The Chosen One said when he finally caught back up with her and Sewer Bard. “Otherwise this would have been stupidly expensive.”

Qube glowed with pride. “Always happy to help!” She beamed. They were so close to the top! Even the ceiling of the tree trunk was within sight! Just a few more levels of platforms and they would reach a small alcove with a jutting out ledge, an iron door and a shining blue ball of Save Point.

Then, in a sure sign that Evil had a grip on this temple, the platforms above decided to start spinning.

Qube hated platforms.