“His heart? Are we talking metaphorically or in the meat sense?” The Chosen One asked the raging witch.

“My dear, you have already stolen my heart.” The Sewer Bard said, placing his hand on the wrong side of his chest.

“You,” The old witch pointed at the Chosen One, “may continue your journey. But you must leave your companion with me.”

“Excuse me,” Qube said, “I’m actually his Companion, not Sewer Bard.”

“Why should I leave him with you?” The Chosen One asked Mother Gothel.

“I spent my whole life training to be his Childhood Companion.”

“I have no heart,” Mother Gothel unbuttoned part of her shirt, revealing a gaping hole right in the middle of her chest. “It was stolen from me by a terrible beast when I spurned his affections. He ripped it from me and took it into the Forbidden Forest so that I would never know love.”

“I mean I even got chosen by the Golden Prophecy to be his Companion, it’s not like I just decided one day to become his Companion. It’s literally my destiny.”

“Hey.” The Chosen One said, putting his hand on Qube’s shoulder.

“Yes, Chosen One?”

“Shut up for a second.”

Qube pouted.

“I am cursed to dwell within this grove until my heart is returned to me. But it has been many years and I still have yet to be healed. I yearn to be completed. I must have a heart.” Mother Gothel looked at the Sewer Bard, intensity sparking off her. “This young man has freely offered his heart to me, and I will take it.”

The Chosen One facepalmed. “Sewer Bard, why did you do that?”

“I cannot help it. You bade me whisper sweet nothings to this mother of nature, and in doing so I could not help but lose my heart to her. I am cursed to love all women.” The Sewer Bard sighed. “She is also the first lovely lady who has been able to overcome her natural shyness at my manifold charms and good looks to actually be able to accept my address.”

The Chosen One squinted at the Sewer Bard as he translated what he’d just said.

“You mean she’s the first chick to ever flirt back, don’t you?” He said.

“...Yes.” The Sewer Bard replied baldly.

The Chosen One looked up at the sky.

“Why?” He asked it.

The sky did not reply.

Giving up on sky based answers, the Chosen One looked at Mother Gothel.

“What if we went to the Forbidden Forest and got your heart back from the terrible beast?” He asked. “Would you be willing to not cannibalise Sewer Bard then?”

Mother Gothel looked at the Chosen One narrowly.

“I will allow this.” She conceded eventually. “But I will keep him here with me until you return with my heart. For insurance purposes, you understand. Take this mark of my favour and you will be able to enter the Forbidden Forest.” She held out a small wooden plaque.

“Makes sense.” The Chosen One sniffed, as the plaque disappeared. “Okay, we’ll be back.”

“Um, Chosen One?” Qube asked quietly, unsure if the command for silence still stood.

The Chosen One looked at her. “If this is about you being my Companion again, I swear…”

“No, it’s just, well. If she’s injured and missing an organ, couldn’t I just heal her? I can grow most things back with my magic.”

The Chosen One’s face slowly broke out into a wide grin.

“Wait...Could that actually work? I wonder…”

“I also don’t think she’s actually missing her heart, because that’s not where the heart is located.”

“Oh, that’s just the devs’ being prudes.” The Chosen One said obscurely. “But depending on how they’ve done this... “ He laughed, “Oh we are going to break this so hard. I love it.” He looked at Qube. “Do it.”

“[Lesser Healing].” Qube said, the silvery light leaving her and pouring into the open wound in Mother Gothel’s chest.

And that’s when it all went wrong.

A fully formed heart suddenly appeared in the ragged tear, already beating. But the wound didn’t close. Instead Mother Gothel threw back her head and screamed. Her hands, clawed with pain, tried to rip the heart out of her cavity, before her body snapped into a T-shaped pose. Her screaming reached a new, terrible pitch as the environment around them was torn through, violently changing. The red-soaked trees burst, instantly replaced with lush green ones. The tiny twig dolls were peeled open, little fairy children scrabbling out of the husks. The blue lights lazily drifting through the woods exploded into golden balls of light that burrowed into the tree trunks, the veins of the trees now throbbing gold.

The old witch’s scream was now naught but a keening sound. Qube slapped her hands over her ears to try and block it out. The movement caught Mother Gothel’s attention and, straining against the force that held her in place she looked at Qube in horror, as if seeing her for the first time.

“You!” She choked, “What are you?” Her head snapped back as a deep, lush green light pulsed through the clearing, forcing everyone to shield their eyes.

When the light cleared Mother Gothel was standing in the middle of the beautiful enchanted woods. Her cabin had been replaced with a giant tree, the trees around it twinkled with lights, and little fairy children chased each other, giggling mischievously.

The Sewer Bard looked at Mother Gothel and, with a gasp, fell to his knees.

“Such… such beauty. My eyes, they are unworthy!”

In fact the only thing that hadn’t changed was Mother Gothel herself. She was still the same wizened old witch, but the gaping hole in her chest now had a beating heart within it.

She laughed, soft and musical like the chiming of bells.

“Arise, subject.” She said as Qube and the Chosen One jolted in surprise. Her voice was totally different! Gone was the whining cackle, instead it had been replaced with the smooth lightness of a babbling brook.

Mother Gothel looked at the Chosen One, who had started laughing.

“Thank you, Chosen One.” She said, “You have freed me from a terrible curse. For as you can see, I am no witch, but rather the Dryad Queen of-”

She paused as the Chosen One reached out, palm upright.

“-these… woods...” She trailed off as the Chosen One waved his outstretched hand up and down in front of her.

“Reward please.” He said.

The Dryad Queen looked at his palm, then back at him. An expression of disbelief crossed her face before she controlled herself. It was, thought Qube, a very common expression when dealing with the Saviour of All Living Creatures.

“Of course, Chosen One. For your great deeds I name you Wood Warrior, and grant you these two gifts. First, the Forbidden Forest Gem, which will be key to defeating the Evil Emperor. And secondly, the Nectar of Rest. This will permanently put to rest any spirit you encounter in your journeys.” She held out a giant glowing green gem and a tiny green vial, both which disappeared after a few seconds. Qube glanced at the Chosen One, who seemed pleased. She narrowed her eyes. More key magic, huh?

“Sweet.” The Chosen One said.

“Oh, despite having Nectar in its name it isn’t actually sweet-” The Dryad Queen started to say, before the Chosen One turned his back on her.

“Well, time to go.” He said. “Come on.”

“Wait,” The Sewer Bard said, pleadingly, still on his knees. “My Queen, your beauty! May I dare hope that you still desire my love? For if you say but the word, it is yours!”

The Dryad Queen leant over the kneeling man, smiling kindly.

“You were the only man who ever showed me love in my old form.” She said. Qube looked between them, still not entirely sure what was going on there. “But I have just had my heart returned to me after a long absence. I think I must first work on myself, before entering into a relationship.”

The Sewer Bard nodded. “I will never love again,” he mourned. Then he suddenly stood, his face abruptly returning to its default look of good humour.

“Lead on, Noble Patron!” He said cheerfully.

The thorny trees were gone, leaving the path out clear. Without even a goodbye, the Chosen One set off, Sewer Bard beside him. Qube smiled at the Dryad Queen.

“Thank you for having us!” She said, and moved to follow the other two.

“Wait.” The Dryad Queen said quietly. Qube paused. The Dryad Queen seemed to look directly at her. It was… uncomfortable. After a moment, the Dryad Queen winced and looked away.

“Never return.” The Dryad Queen whispered, and then turned and walked to her tree. Once she got to the giant tree she pivoted and, as if now at a safe enough distance, watched Qube. Qube, hurt, took a few steps back, and then followed the Chosen One and Sewer Bard out of the woods. Once or twice she looked back, and still Mother Gothel’s eyes shone, naked hatred within them until she was out of the woods, and back in the open fields.

Qube was quiet for a long time after that, oddly shaken from the whole experience.

“Right,” The Chosen One said eventually. “Time to go see what all this has done to the Forbidden Forest.”

“Do we still need to go to the Forbidden Forest?” Qube asked, trying not to let her voice tremble.

“Of course we do!” The Chosen One said. “There’s probably heaps of loot in there! And at least one cool new weapon. I can feel it.”

They set off, the three of them, over the rolling green fields. It was full night now, but Qube was surprised to find that she wasn’t sleepy. Probably the adrenaline from the whole “woods situation”, she figured. The light cast on the Chosen one and the Sewer Bard had long since faded, but after accidentally walking into a river the Chosen One demanded to be re-lit. Both main moons had risen by the time they reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

To say that the Forbidden Forest loomed in a gloomy manner would do injustice to the concepts. It towered, impossibly high, and stretched out towards the trio as if specifically designed to cast a long shadow over them. Even the mist was knee high, which seemed geographically implausible. Qube, never having set foot out of the village she was born in, didn’t have a lot of personal experience with different landscapes, but she felt jungle-like forests should have somewhere for the mists to come from, at least. Maybe there were swamps inside the forest. She rather hoped not, she’d heard nasty things tended to live in swamps.

The vast, jungle-like forest was almost completely impenetrable from where they were standing. The only way into it was a roughly-hewn path, cut through the trees, thick vines hanging overhead. Large torches on pikes lined the path, burning despite the inherent fire risk of leaving giant flames lying about unattended.

“Should we wait at the entrance for a guide?” Qube asked the Chosen One. “They must have seen us coming and lit the torches for us. Either that or they always leave them burning, which just seems wasteful. What do you think the burn time on those torches are?”

“Nah, they’re probably waiting for us in a village in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. Given the general decor I’d say wood huts with thatch or palm leaves.” The Chosen One nodded sagely.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this place.” The Sewer Bard said. The Chosen One rolled his eyes.

“The giant mist covered gloomy dark woods give you a bad feeling? What a shock!” He said. “Come on, we’ve got more stuff to break and take.”

So saying, they stepped forward into the Forbidden Forest, the first temple of the Golden Prophecy.