《The Reluctant Court Wizard》Chapter 4: An Unfortunate Encounter
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“I will admit that your enchantment is quite striking to look at,” Primrose said as we sat in the carriage.
“Thanks,” I said with a yawn.
“You finished this, the staff, and still had some time to catch a few hours of sleep, I’m impressed.”
“Well, the staff isn’t done. I just added an outer layer, to make it glow when I hold it.” I admitted.
Primrose frowned, “You should have told me that sooner, I’d have brought your old staff too. You shouldn’t go to the royal court with an incomplete staff. What if you need to defend yourself?”
A wizard without a working staff was at a serious disadvantage, but the royal court was heavily defended by hundreds of royal guards. Why would I need to defend myself while visiting the king? “I…” I started to try to defend myself, but Primrose cut me off.
Primrose shook her head, “Nevermind, I forget you’re not used to thinking like a soldier… in the future, you need to be ready for anything at all times. Proper preparation is the difference between life and death. For now, I’ll send someone to get your old staff and have it handy just in case. Just finish that staff when we get back, please. Here, drink this,” she told me, handing me a metal flask with a warm beverage inside.”
“What is this?” I asked.
“It’s called coffee. Tastes terrible, but will give you a boost of alertness for a few hours.”
Huh, that was not a potion I was familiar with, but I decided to trust Primrose and drank it. “It’s actually not that bad,” I told her surprised. The bitter beverage had a potent taste.“It could use a little sugar, maybe…” I suggested.
Primrose shook her head in disbelief, “It’s awful, I’ve tried it, but the old court wizard loved the stuff so much he planted a few coffee plants in the greenhouse and trained our chef in how to “roast” the stuff. Even I have to admit it’s effective, but I have no clue how he could drink it every morning.” She shuddered slightly.
“Maybe only mages like the flavor?”
“The chef likes it too, and she’s no mage.”
“Hmmm…” we rode in silence for a brief distance as I finished the warm potion.
“I also noticed you didn’t end up with a certain seamstress in your bed this morning,” Primrose said with a neutral voice.
“I know that’s how nobles behave, picking up commoner women and using them like that, but I was raised differently. It didn’t feel right to take advantage of her like that.”
“Well, it’s true that most nobles believe that commoners like Lily should let themselves be used, but it’s also true that commoners like Lily are raised to expect that sort of behavior, and consider it normal. You’re young, rich, reasonably good looking, and single, so I doubt Lily would have been upset if you’d “used her”. Usually the noble will just give a few expensive gifts in return, but the commoners all hope they’ll get their rich lover to fall madly in love and marry them...”
“I think Lily’s smarter than that! It was just a misunderstanding, she thought the job offer required her to… do that sort of thing,” I protested, embarrassed.
“Hmmm…” Primrose sounded doubtful, “well, just be aware that Lily won’t be the last one to try to snare you, and some nobles will even resort to hiring women to try to influence you that way. You need to be careful about who you trust. That’s why I’ll be personally doing background checks on anyone who does end up in your bed, just so you know. I already checked Lily, she’s a nobody with no ties, so she’s safe enough.”
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I stared at Primrose, at a loss for words. I literally didn’t know how to respond to that level of cynicism. “That won’t be necessary. I don’t plan to act like that.” I told her, struggling to keep calm.
“No need to be upset, Jason. It’s normal to have urges, a butler never judges.”
“Ahem! So what should I expect when I meet the king? You’ve not given me much advice.” I said, desperately trying to change the topic.
“Just be yourself. Bow like they teach you at the academy, then answer any questions honestly. The king hates anyone who acts like a courtier since he has to deal with them all the time. It’s mostly everyone else you have to worry about, and I can’t much prepare you for that. Don’t get mad if anyone makes a snide comment about you; ignore it completely. And refer anyone who wishes a private talk with you to me, and I’ll give them an appointment. That will give me time to give you a proper briefing beforehand.”
“Um, I don’t remember being taught how to properly bow to a king,” I tell Primrose.
“Of course you did, Proper Etiquette for Wizards 101; It’s a mandatory class.”
“Oh, right that one… it was also a class that wasn’t graded...”
“Don’t tell me...” Only the tiniest widening of Primrose’s eyes betray her horror at the sudden realization.
“Yeah, I slept through most of it, sorry.”
Primrose sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose between two fingers. “How exactly did you end up at the top of your class, again?”
“Because I was lucky enough to be born with a large mana core? Also, I certainly wasn’t the only one who slept through that class.” I said with a shrug. Honestly, if I had known how much of a hassle being the top student would end up being, I’d have made an effort to do worse.
“Most of your peers probably slept through it because they already knew it, that class is aimed at helping commoners learn what nobles are taught as children!”
“How was I to know it would be important?” I asked defensively.
“Proper etiquette is always important! I plan to write a strongly worded letter to the headmaster about this!”
One crash course in etiquette later, I was walking into the main entrance hall of the palace. The crowded hall was filled with two types of people, courtiers whose job it was to watch the proceedings and represent the interests of their patrons, and supplicants.
A supplicant was a person who was requesting that the king do something, usually pass a decree to address an injustice. The courtier was there to offer reasons that the king should not do whatever the supplicant requested. Should a commoner come asking for assistance because his landlord was not handling the proper maintenance of his rented properties, there was a courtier who’d object, stipulating that acceding to such a request would adversely impact the revenue of the various landowners, decrease the city’s tax revenue, harm public services, etc. The courtiers were slick, and had well practised arguments, citing precedent and jurisprudence like lawyers, they would be paid to sit there all day waiting to object to anyone who brought any sort of complaint against any of their wealthy patrons.
Most courtiers were sons and daughters not in line of succession of their noble houses, people who only managed to earn their current job by virtue of being well connected. It was no wonder no one liked them, I thought to myself.
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The long line of supplicants waited patiently for their turn, far more than could be heard in the few hours the king dedicated per day to this task. Often the courtiers objected simply to waste time, if the king had to listen to them, they would reduce the number of supplicants the king could listen to in a day. Those supplicants who did not manage to have their case heard on a given day would be told to come the next day, but often, after a day or two waiting in line, they’d give up and choose not to return.
When wealthy factions fell into dispute, they’d send courtiers to stand in line with the normal supplicants and upon reaching the front of the line, complain about the other faction and ask for action to be taken against them. Courtiers from the other faction would then object, often resulting in long drawn out arguments that took up so much time that no one else could be heard on that day.
The secondary function of courtiers was to gossip, to exchange rumors and information in hopes of finding something interesting to report to their patrons, so they were all eager to lay their eyes on me.
As I walked down the central red carpet, the room fell into hush, then whispered comments as the courtiers discussed my illusion based fashion choice. Many called for their assistants, sending off messages. I’d managed to catch their interest at least, I thought to myself, strolling calmly past the line of supplicants.
Many commoners were awed by me, despite the fact that mages were not that uncommon, they were fairly reclusive. Working as adventurers or craftsmen, they had little reason to mingle with the average commoner. To a commoner, a wizard, the title for mages who’d graduated from an academy, was some kind of mythical creature, to be discussed in whispers. The mark of a wizard was his staff, and mine flared with swirls of reddish gold light as I strode forward, sustained by a gentle flow of mana from my palm. Non-wizard mages could have staves, but often relied on wands instead, as learning how to properly use a wizard’s staff took a great deal of training, while wands were much easier.
Finally reaching the king, I noticed that the king had been listening to a supplicant, but as I drew near, he’d raised his hand, a signal that the man should shut up. Sorry sir I didn’t mean to interrupt, I thought to myself as I glanced at the supplicant, an older gentleman who looked exhausted. But the man looked pleased to see me, as I’d give him something to gossip about with his grandkids, and I knew that he’d be given a chance to start over with his case once I left.
The king was in his late fifties, and looked it. Every year seemed to draw heavy lines on his face, and his beard was as grey as his hair. The duties of his office had prematurely aged the man, and though he was only moderately overweight, he looked to be in some discomfort from sitting all day. His feet, wrapped in velvet slippers looked a bit bloated, perhaps early signs of some disease. Yet despite all that, his eyes were sharp and his intelligence shone through. This man was not to be underestimated, he’d ruled for many years and maintained his kingdom’s prosperity by being fair and wise. He was a popular king, secure in his power.
“Wizard Jason, the new court wizard, presents himself to the king!” A loud voice boomed out, as the chamberlain introduced me. I bowed deeply, as Primrose had instructed, bending at the waist to a ninety degree angle, flexing my knees slightly to prevent myself from toppling over like an idiot.
“Ah, Jason, I’ve heard much about you,” the king said affably, “I expect great things from you.”
“I live to serve, your majesty,” I said politely.
“Quite, and this outfit with the stars? Very interesting. Perhaps you will produce a banner or some such with a similar effect? It would look splendid in my observatory.”
“Your majesty enjoys stargazing?” I asked.
“Of course, your predecessor taught me how to use that telescope in your new home, and I enjoyed it so much I had a telescope installed here at the palace as well!” The king chuckled, “Mine is bigger though, perhaps I will give you a chance to come see it some fine evening, once you are settled in.”
“Your majesty! That hardly seems appropriate, inviting a commoner to your private quarters?” The nasal voice of a courtier rang out.
The king turned to glare at the speaker. “I chose who I allow to see, and the court wizard may be of common birth, but he is made exceptional by virtue of his position and his talent. Interrupt me again and I will see you expelled.”
The courtier bowed deeply and withdrew, but his objective was already accomplished. It had not been widely known that I was a commoner, he’d wanted to change that. A murmur spread among those watching.
“This sordid sort of thing is wearisome,” The king told me in a tired voice, apologizing indirectly for the courtier’s actions, “Since I cultivate a reputation for tolerance and fairness, they do not fear annoying me with their petty complaints. Do not hesitate to seek my aid should they overstep their bounds. I will not have my choice of court wizard questioned for petty reasons.”
I nod. “Thank you, your majesty.”
Another interruption as an old scrawny man with a wizard’s robe and staff pushes his way forward. “Your Majesty! I have the right to object to this man replacing me!” he said loudly, as he tried to push past the guards who’d moved to block his way.
The captain of the guards glanced at the king, to see if they should allow the older wizard to approach, the king gives a small nod.
“Old friend, why have you come here today?” The king asked the wizard.
“You replaced me without just cause!”
“You’ve picked sides in a dispute I specifically asked you not to involve yourself in, I warned you what would happen,” the king said in a cold voice. So was that the real reason the old court wizard had been outed? What dispute could have moved the man to anger his king, I wondered. “You don’t have the right to be here anymore,” the king said, sounding sad.
“Your daughter has contracted me to be her tutor.” The wizard replied, drawing gasps and a loud stirring of conversations amongst the gathered crowd.
“If so, why are you objecting to my choice of your replacement?” The king asked.
“By the terms of the Mage Guild’s charter, a court wizard who is unfairly replaced by another may challenge the newcomer to a duel to prove he’s better suited!”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I muttered, not loud enough to be heard over the commotion.
“I hereby challenge you Jason! To a duel, here and now!” the old court wizard yelled.
I looked around at the faces of the crowd, all of them eager to see how I’d react. Then I looked at the annoyed face of the king, who seemed resigned. “I’ll allow it, if Jason accepts the challenge,” the king proclaimed.
Under normal circumstances, I was reasonably sure I could win a duel with this man, as I could sense his mana core was only average at best. But of course, I was currently holding a long piece of bone that was not actually a fully functional wizard’s staff. But what choice did I have?
“I accept,” I said, bowing to the inevitable pressure of everyone’s expectations. If I refused I’d be the laughing stock of the entire kingdom, and if I tried to explain that I didn’t actually have a staff with me, they’d all think I was simply making excuses.
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