“My Lady, we can’t let you go alone,” Jason tried to reason with Liliana as she stood outside, arms crossed over her chest.

Lelantos was pacing beside her, showing off the new saddle he had been given. It was nice and had been a pretty penny. Grey leather to complement his fur. It was worked with durability and illusion enchantments so it would go invisible when he did. Liliana glared at the man before letting out a small sigh and loosening her arms. Dusting off her clothes, a mix of black and white leather now as she’d been able to have the Shadow Wolf pelts worked into the outfit to repair and enhance it. [Air Walk] had evolved into [Shadowind Walk]. She could jump into any shadow and appear out of another within one minute. The cool down was ten minutes for that one. At night or in low light, she could walk on air for up to fifteen minutes. The cool down had stayed two hours on that part of it.

“Fine,” she relented, and she turned to Lelantos, who knelt down for her to climb onto his saddle. It was odd to adjust to at first, for them both. But despite the awkwardness, Lelantos stood tall and walked with the regal bearing all cats shared. Behind her, she could hear the contingent of guards that had been ordered to follow her mounting up as well.

“Is the lady going out leveling?” A familiar voice called out, and Liliana cursed under her breath. Turning, she met the eyes of Emyr. Standing beside him was a sullen Alistair. Both were leading their own mounts.

“That is my intention,” Liliana ground out, and it took every shred of her self-control to not shout when both boys mounted up as well.

“I think the lady will be safe enough with us,” Emyr told the guards, and Liliana mentally begged for the guards to stay.

“I will accompany the lady,” Jason stated, but waved off the rest of the guards. Liliana wanted to scream in annoyance, instead she turned around and ordered Lelantos to take off.

Eagerly, the tiger bounded forwards, racing towards the opened gates. Liliana smirked when she saw several guards jump back as the tiger charged closer. She didn’t know if she’d ever tire of how people reacted to Lelantos.

As Lelantos ran down the road, Liliana mentally reviewed the map she had nearly memorized. She wanted an area that would let her level but would also give enough of a challenge to Lelantos. And would give enough exp that her unwanted hanger-ons wouldn’t completely ruin her gains. They traveled the road for a good hour before Liliana directed Lelantos to turn and soon they were cutting off the road and into the forest, following a fairly used path.

An arrow aimed at her head drew Liliana from her thoughts as she threw herself to the side, summoning [Barrier] as she did. A shield formed of light surrounded her, slowing the arrow. Her dodge hadn’t completely avoided the arrow, but as it punctured her shoulder, she knew it was far less fatal than it could’ve been. Ignoring the pain that was already fading because of [Pain Resistance] and adrenaline Liliana drew Lelantos up short.

“Ambush!” Jason yelled out as people materialized from the forest. Liliana’s [Identify] informed her all the men and women before them were level 40-50 Bandits. She growled as her mind worked overtime.

Bandits shouldn’t be this close to the manor. The guards should’ve found them. Sure, it was a quest in the game, but in real life it makes little sense. Why are they here? Liliana summoned her naginata from her storage cuff and activated [Barrier] once more, letting it drain part of her mana even as it protected her. [Light Burst] and [Persistent Casting] started working as well, summoning a vanguard of floating lights around her.

“Stand down! As the heir to the Rosengarde family, I can offer you mercy, if you persist in your attacks the punishment is death!” Alistair called out as he and Emyr closed in next to Liliana, Jason moving to be in front of the three nobles.

“Hah! Nobles? We can get a nice ransom for spoiled pups like you lot,” one Bandit spoke. He was larger than the rest. Someone who obviously pumped most of his stats into Strength and Vitality based on the muscles that strained the hodgepodge leather armor he wore. In his hands was a large war hammer, big enough to flatten Liliana like a bug if it hit.

“Boss, there wasn’t supposed to be a guard,” a Bandit whispered to the boss, yet he waved it off with a grin.

“It doesn’t much matter, we can take some spoiled brats and their nursemaid on,” The Boss assured his men.

“What makes you think you can win? I’ll remind you all that the punishment for banditry, and attacking a noble is death, no trial,” Emyr spoke up, his voice almost bored. Memories of the encounter in the game flooded her mind. You could try to talk to the bandits, but the game forced the fight no matter what you chose.

Falling back into her memories of the game, Liliana grasped the arrow in her shoulder and yanked it out, biting back a curse as she felt it scrape on bone and rip skin and muscle. Blood poured from the wound, but her attention was elsewhere. Sunlight shone off the head of another arrow, and Liliana’s eyes focused on the archer standing in the back. Not seeing another, Liliana directed her host of [Light Bursts] after the archer.

The attack hit, a blood-chilling scream filling the air as they exploded on the Archer, blood splattering the trees and ground around them. Their body fell, and both groups stood still for a moment.

Just a game, Liliana thought, ignoring the screams of the dying archer. The first time she’d played, the first time she’d seen why the game was rated M, she’d been startled at the amount of blood shown. She’d had to tell herself it was just a game, to get over the pure violence. Her parents had almost taken the game from her, but they had a hard time denying her once her prognosis became terminal.

The quiet moment hung heavy between the groups, a moment wasted for the Bandits as Liliana directed Lelantos forward. She activated [Enhancement], [Dance of the Daystar], [Tempo] and [Dance of The Windsong] Liliana’s naginata turned into a blurred silver figment, soon coated crimson. The Bandits recovered, but only as a second of their number fell, groaning on the ground from a slash wound to his stomach.

Several worked to surround the tiger and his rider as others rushed past to engage the rest of her party. Liliana paid no mind to them, knowing that none of the bandits would be strong enough to bother them. Liliana’s eyes raked across the bandits surrounding her, noting that none of their levels were too far above hers to make this impossible.

Liliana grinned a sharp toothed smile at the men and women surrounding her as Lelantos let out [Bestial Roar] causing them to freeze in place. Pulling her feet out of her stirrups, Liliana balanced on his saddle, excited to finally use a move the two had practiced for a few days in the privacy of her garden.

When he pounced at the group before them, she jumped off, turning in the air to drive her naginata down into a man behind them. She could hear screams behind her as she landed. Standing straight, she ripped her naginata out of the man and summoned [Light Barrage], directing the multitude of floating spheres at the enemies that surrounded her.

Yelps and screams wove a grim melody, backed by the ghost drums of [Tempo] as Liliana turned to her next opponent. A man wielding a short sword stood before her, bleeding from the barrage he’d already taken. He was only level 43, stronger than her in level, but it meant little when one took her boons into account. As the man charged at her, activating some skill that coated his blade in a sickly green, Liliana sidestepped, twisting and lashing a bloody gash along his back.

This is very similar to the fight in the game, similar weapons and attack types. Even in the game, this was a pretty easy fight. The only benefit they got was their ambush and their numbers, and we nullified that. Liliana thought with a smile.

A mace whistled towards her head and with little time to dodge, she activated [Shadowind Walk], vanishing into a shadow and avoiding the deadly hit. The two she’d been engaged with looked around in confusion before Liliana appeared behind a separate woman, who grasped two long daggers in her hand. Her naginata cut through the air but by some stroke of luck the woman avoided the hit, only taking a glancing blow to her arm.

Liliana grimaced. She was running low on Mana and Stamina and [Enhancement] would end its affect soon. She turned to block the hit coming at her from the man with the short sword. Breaking off, she sent a [Light Burst] into his face, blinding him and leaving her the opening to drive her blade into his unprotected stomach.

“I surrender!” The man called, one hand held up in defeat, the other clutching his stomach. Liliana looked at him, face impassive. In the game some of the bandit’s had tried to surrender, if you accepted they would attack you as soon as you turned your back.

Just a game, Liliana reminded herself, she could almost hear the sounds of beeping machines and the murmurs of nurses in the background.

Her blade whipped out and slashed through the man’s throat, sending him tumbling as he weakly scrabbled for his ruined skin. As the man fell, Liliana was given no time to rest as the mace-wielder charged at her to avenge his fallen comrade.

Liliana dodged the heavy swing, dragging her blade across his chest. The man stumbled and as Liliana brought her blade back, she swung the haft against his knees. Where she had expected the crack of bones, there was nothing more than a second stumble to punctuate her attack.

“Think my Vitality is that low, girl?” The man sneered as he turned to her. Liliana’s eyes narrowed before a sharp stabbing pain in her back heralded a successful attack. The dagger wielder had snuck behind her and driven a blade into her unprotected back.

With a gasp of pain, nearly turning into a scream as the blade was ripped back out, Liliana stumbled away from the source of the agony. Fear filled her as she felt her blood pouring down her back and soaking her clothes. The fight just became far more real for her than it had been before. When it still felt like she was playing Realm Of Hope and not actually fighting for her life, the similarities in the encounter had lulled her into a false sense of security.

Liliana dropped [Tempo] as she activated [Regeneration], letting the healing ability work on the deep wound. As she backed up, away from the pair now standing untied against her, a flash of light coated claws bit deep into the mace-wielder. Unlike her attacks, this one did enough damage to send the man to his knees. Startled by the sudden attack, the knife-wielder turned to look.

“M-Monsters…” The knife wielder spoke, her voice filled with dread and fear, “I sur-“ the woman turned towards Liliana, her hands already dropping.

Liliana took advantage of the sudden distraction and pushed forward. Her blade sank deep into the woman’s chest, forcing her to drop her daggers and grasp futilely at the weapon impaling her. Liliana ripped it back off, not pausing to watch her fall. Rushing to Lelantos, she grabbed his saddle. Jumping into the saddle, she bit back another scream as the wound in her back sent a wave of agony through her body. Hunched over, panting, she looked around at the forest turned slaughter ground. Where Lelantos had been, only corpses remained, savaged by the tiger's fangs and claws.

Was there some kind of mild poison on that dagger? Something to make it hurt more? Was it serrated? It shouldn’t hurt this much. Or did she tear through more than I thought? Liliana wondered.

Liliana turned to look at the rest of their party. Alistair had pulled a shield off his back along with a sword, and had some kind of Light ability activated that blocked most of the hits that were pummeling into his shield. Behind him, Emyr was conducting an orchestra of shadows, grabbing legs and arms and leaving them open for Alistair to cut through. The two worked like a pair well used to fighting together, never having to speak or pause as they moved like a well-oiled machine.

Another bandit dropped to her knees, raising her hands in surrender but Emyr’s shadows and Alistair’s blade paid no heed to her words as she too was cut down. Liliana averted her eyes, a sick feeling roiling in her stomach.

Just a game, the mantra repeated itself, and she could almost feel the uncomfortable scratching blankets from her hospital room. Behind the familiar beeping of machines monitoring her failing body she could hear the sounds of another bandit trying to surrender, and their dying screams and whimpers. She coudl hear the sounds of metal cutting through flesh and bone as the mantra repeated itself in her mind.

Jasper had a ring of defeated bandits around him and was facing off against the Bandit Leader with the inhumanly large hammer. The hammer was more of a hinderance in the forest, as trees and branches impeded larger swings. The man’s power was undeniable, however it couldn’t stand up to a level 95 guard lieutenant, and in quick order the man had fallen to join his dying group. As he fell, so too did the last of the bandits facing Emyr and Alistair. Seeing the battle was essentially over, Liliana dropped her abilities all except [Regeneration].

Alistair dropped his own ability with the last defeat, and he seemed to sag. Emyr’s shadows receded, and the group walked back towards each other. Liliana shot up straight as she saw a figure behind Emyr. A woman with a crazed look in her eyes rushed him, sword held high to attack the boy’s open back.

“YOU MONSTERS!” She screeched and too slowly, the others turned. Liliana leapt from her saddle, forcing herself to activate [Dance of the Daystar], [Enhancement] and [Dance of The Windsong]. Her foot landed on Alistair's half raised shield, only her Dexterity enabling the move. She activated [Leap] and flung herself blade first at the woman. It had taken only a few seconds to accomplish the move and Liliana drove her naginata deep into the woman’s chest, her own weight shoving the blade entirely through the bandit’s body.

The women fell to the ground and Liliana bit back a cry as a fresh wound was added to her collection; the woman managing to shove her blade into Liliana’s stomach even as she died beneath her.

Rolling off the woman, leaving her naginata in its new grisly sheath, Liliana placed a hand on her stomach. Her other skills turned off as she prayed [Regeneration] would heal the wound. Her health was barely above 2% now and the world was getting dark on the edges.

A roar pierced the cotton stuffing her ears, and Liliana felt Lelantos coming closer, despair and fear coloring their bond. Liliana reached up a blood coated hand and laid it across the tiger’s fur, trying to soothe him.

“Drink this, you idiotic girl,” a gruff voice spoke moment before something was shoved into her mouth. A taste of strawberries filled her mouth and instinctively, Liliana gulped down the liquid. A comforting warmth filled her, focusing on her wounds. It soon bordered on uncomfortable as she felt the wounds stitching themselves together at an unnatural speed. Organs repaired, made whole once more. Veins reconnected, muscles knit back together as skin closed over it all. It felt unnatural, to have her organs and muscles and skin all moving and squirming around inside of her as they repaired.

Liliana sat up slowly, wincing at the residual pain as her still healing wounds protested the movement. She blinked her eyes; the darkness receding. Before her was Alistair. In his hand was an empty potion bottle. Based on the effects, Liliana could tell it was a high tier healing potion. The one’s she’d bought wouldn’t have been able to close her wounds anywhere near as fast.

“Well, that was not a pleasant experience,” Liliana commented as she felt over her body. Even as she looked, the last of the wounds were healing up, scratches and cuts she didn’t remember getting vanishing before her eyes. Her poor clothes were not as lucky, and they stayed damaged.

I’m a curse to clothes, not even a day with this new outfit. Liliana mourned before she remembered Astrid has demanded she get a self-repair enchantment with her new outfit. With a thought, she channeled a small bit of mana into her outfit and watched as the fabric and leather knit back together, much as her wounds had.

“That’s an apt observation, my Lady,” Jason commented as he stood. Liliana noticed everyone had been gathered around her, even Emyr was kneeling to her right and she detected more than a small bit of panic in his eyes. And… perhaps a bit of guilt, too.

Worried? No, he couldn’t be. He’s just upset he hasn’t figured me out yet, Liliana surmised, ignoring the guilt she saw lurking in his eyes too, as she drew her attention to her stepbrother, who was putting the used bottle back into storage. He wouldn’t meet her eyes and silently got up to follow Jason.

Liliana reached out to Lelantos, and with the cat’s aid, she regained her feet. Her Stamina was still low, and she felt exhausted. The fight had taken a toll on all of her stats, and right now, she just wanted to sleep. As the adrenaline faded from the battle, Liliana felt nausea rolling in her gut. The cloying smell of copper was thick in the air, followed by the scent of many evacuated bowels. Liliana’s eyes met a pair of dim, empty ones and she turned and threw up her lunch. The cruel reality of what had just happened becoming clear.

Just a game, the mantra tried to repeat itself in her mind yet what she was seeing, what she was smelling, was too much and the facade she’d been hiding behind broke like delicate china dropped on concrete. There was blood everywhere, it pooled around her, soaking into her clothes. She could even taste the cursed liquid on her lips, coating them with the proof of her sins. She could hear the dying breaths of the bandits around her, sounding oh so loud to her as her own breaths took on a ragged pace.

Not a game. It was all real. I wasn’t in the hospital playing a game. I… I just… I killed. I killed them. Without hesitation… How? How could I do that? They were people. With families, friends, people who will mourn their deaths. Some even tried to surrender. I’m a murderer. Liliana collapsed back to her knees. Lelantos made a concerned crooning noise as he pushed his head into her chest. Liliana gripped it, hands digging into his fur and grabbing tight as she felt something inside her break. Tears poured down her face as sobs ripped themselves from her throat. The smell of death was cloying around her, pressing on her as the realization that she’d just killed people like a child playing a video game did. With as little care for their lives, their hopes, their dreams as she had for them when they were nothing but NPCs she was tasked to kill.

“The first time is always the worst,” a familiar voice spoke, and Liliana looked through bleary eyes to see Emyr standing next to her. In his eyes there was empathy, an understanding she didn’t want to see.

“As soon as they attacked us, when that first arrow was shot, their fates were sealed. The punishment for banditry is death by hanging, the punishment for attacking a noble is death by fire,” Emyr continued, obviously trying to offer her some form of comfort. She could read what he didn’t say, being killed quickly in combat was a far kinder fate than death by being burned. Yet it did nothing to ease her guilt, not with the feeling of the bandits’ blood cooling on her clothes and covering her in the damning liquid. Not when they were surrounded by the bodies of the people they’d ruthlessly massacred, because thats what it had been. The bandits’ had never stood a chance against them.

“They’d have killed you, if you didn’t kill them first. Ransoms only sometimes end with the taken being returned alive. More often they’re killed when the exchange happens, or sold to slavery,” Jason spoke up. Their words did little to ease the pain in her heart. The pain of killing someone, ending their life irrevocably.

I… It had felt so like the game. So much like when I fought other creatures. I just… I didn’t think. I just attacked. If we had just surrendered, all these people would still be alive. Liliana’s mind was stuck in a vicious cycle as she felt herself descend into despair. Ignoring the words of reason the others tried to tell her, unwilling to let them try to excuse her sins. Her crimes.

Comfort flooded her bond as Lelantos tried to understand her feelings. To him, it made no sense to mourn what tried to kill you. The world was simple to him, kill or be killed. Be strong and live, or be weak and die. It was a black and white thinking that offered no nuance and only served to further tangle Liliana’s emotions. She knew it had been the right action. Had they not fought, it would’ve been her group that was dead on the ground. At the very least, had they been taken for ransom Jason would’ve been killed, maybe even Lelantos too. After all a guard wasn’t worth any money, and Lelantos was worth more to them as parts.

Yet it didn’t make it hurt any less. Guilt and self hatred reigned supreme in her mind as Jason walked around the corpses, gathering anything that could be used for identification to report to Silas and the Duke. Alistair too was dragging the bodies into neat lines, a show of kindness that Liliana hadn’t thought she’d ever see from the noble. Emyr stayed by her, saying nothing as he stood a silent sentinel to her pain. Lelantos had curled around her, offering his considerable bulk for her comfort.

Liliana buried her face deep in his fur, crying until she was dry heaving, nothing but bile coming up. Her body shook as the sobs ripped through her and she felt the last of her strength leaving her.

She was so far stuck in her own depression and shock that she hardly noticed when someone guided her back atop Lelantos, or when they gently set her hands to grip his saddle. She didn’t remember the walk home, taken at a far slower clip than before.

She barely noticed when they returned home, responding robotically to any questions directed her way as the others took over explaining the event. The only thing that drew her from her stupor the slightest bit was when Silas rushed towards them, grabbing her to be sure she was fine. Yet even he couldn’t banish the demons who had sunk their claws deep into her soul.

She was guided to her room, a sad Lelantos plodding after them as he continuously chuffed at his mistress, attempting to get any kind of response. Yet through her bath and dinner, Liliana didn’t speak. And when she was laid to rest, her dreams were filled with blood and screams, thousands of voices calling her a murderer, a monster.

A Villainess.