C32 Trashed

Eddie was passed out on the counter of the bar, along with almost everyone in the trash dump. His mouth was open and was drooling everywhere. He moistened his mouth and managed to open one eye. His head was still spinning.

“‘Morning, mate,” Grabby said to him.

“Grabby?” Eddie pulled the eyelid back on his other eye to see the golem shaking something. “Where am I? I feel trashed.”

“The bar, mate, you guys really hit it off last night.”

Eddie groaned as he grabbed his own hair and pulled his head up. Squinting, he looked around at all the other unconscious bodies littering the bar.

“Good morning, Sir,” Frank said, walking into the bar. “I’ve prepared a goblin meat stew with rock bread, Sir.”

“Hey, Frank,” Eddie slurred. “What happened last night?”

“Oh, you don’t wanna know,” Denzel’s voice came from the back room. He emerged a second later carrying seven empty kegs. He stacked them down and came over. “It was a great night actually… You did get a little emotional.”

When Eddie drank, between the first drink and fourth, he was fairly cheerful. However, past the fourth drink and he turned into a giant sobbing mess. “I didn’t tell everyone I loved them did I?”

Denzel deeply chuckled. “More than that. You broke down crying and told everyone you were going to build them all a house. On top of that, you poured your heart out to Mira about Akira. “

Eddie quickly looked around the bar to see if he could find her.

“She went back with urm… Brody and a few others to the inn.”

Eddie let his forehead hit against the hard, cold counter. He missed his opportunity and now Brody had taken her. “Uhhhhh, I’m never drinking again.”

“You should,” Denzele encouraged. “Not only were you funny, but you made everyone buy more drinks. Do you know how much money we made last night?”

“Go on,” Eddie said, still facing the countertop in embarrassment.

“41 gold,” Denzel said.

Eddie coughed and spluttered. “What? Holy hell, we’re gonna be rich.”

“Sir,” Frank interrupted. “Your food’s getting cold.”

“Oh, yeah,” Eddie said, looking at the plate; it smelled delicious. He picked up a bit of the rock bread and open mouthed chewed it. It tasted like a giant garlic crouton. “So,” Eddie said, mouthful and open. “How do you want to split the profits?”

“I’ll take like- I don’t know, 20%? That cool?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, still chewing open mouthed. “Who’s got the money?”

“In the register,” Denzel said, pulling it out.

Viktor suddenly sat completely upright from behind the bar which scared the life out of Eddie. “Jesus, Viktor. You ok?”

“I am fine,” Viktor declared, getting up. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell back down again. Grabby could have caught him but that would have ruined the comedic effect.

“Mate,” Grabby said. “I got the bartending skill last night.”

“Really?” Eddie questioned as he brought his notifications up.

You are now drunk!

-25% reduction to speech and physical skills.

Your (Grabby Hands McGee) Grabby Grab Grab Trash Grabbing Golem, Level 14, has learned T1 Passive Skill Bartending Rank I.

+5% Charisma, +5% speed when serving behind a bar.

You are now very drunk.

-50% reduction to speech and physical skills.

You are now paraletic!

Oh no.

You are now emotional.

You are now unconscious and still emotional.

Your (Grabby Hands McGee) Grabby Grab Grab Trash Grabbing Golem, Level 14, has levelled up Bartending! I→II

+6(+1)% Charisma and +6(+1)% speed when serving behind a bar.

“Well that’s uh, pretty good,” Eddie said. “Shoot, what time is it?”

“Like nine I think, I don’t know, it’s hard to keep time when there’s no sunlight,” Denzel replied.

“We need to leave soon don’t we?”

“Don’t worry, Sir, I have a solution,” Frank offered.

“Yeah, go on.”

Frank brought out a bell from behind the counter and started hitting it with his hand. Soon, the noise caused groans from every person inside the bar. Even those who didn’t make it to the rooms and were scattered outside heard it.

Mira and Bear popped their heads up at a table and then promptly fell back asleep again. Eddie stretched before tucking into the rest of his breakfast. He tried to remember last night but all he could think about was the Druid’s Recluse and Akira. The two were plaguing his mind. Alas, he needed to be strong, for his own sake and his golems.

“Oh, Grabby, we’re leaving at 11 in the morning. We’ll need your help.”

“Righto. Are there any weapons I can have?”

“Ah, fiddlesticks,” Eddie cursed loudly. He had completely forgotten about that. He had a terrible headache and he really didn’t fancy bashing metal. It needed to be done anyway. “I’ll get to it. What did Mira say to give him?”

“Two swords and two shields,” Denzel recalled.

Eddie looked over to Grabby. “Yeah, mate, that’s cool with me,” Grabby responded, polishing two glasses at once. He did make a fantastic bartender.

“Ok, I’ll get to it,” Eddie said, yawning. He said goodbye to all the hungover people and headed back to his workshop. He collapsed onto the bed and groaned. He hated the fact he could experience a hangover in a game; realism is the major selling point.

He got back up and into the store cupboard where he pulled out three bars of iron ingots. With his helpful passive skills, he chucked them all in the forge and started drawing up a design for them. He had been thinking about them since Mira mentioned it but it just slipped his mind since. It also could have been because of the alcohol.

“Yeah, probably the goblin’s gunk,” Eddie thought out loud.

Eddie liked the Eddie of something called a tower shield. He had seen a few other players use them. They were exactly as described: a shield which looks like a tower. They were a hollow half cylindrical shape, and could completely block someone’s body from an attack given one could physically resist the force applied. He didn’t want to make them an exact replica, only add a small spin onto it. Mainly, one person held one tower shield, having two would be stuipid. With Grabby’s size and strength, he could easily hold two with two more swords. Additionally, he wanted to make them connect to each other, almost like forming a shield wall like the Greeks did.

“Did the Greeks do it?” Eddie questioned himself. “Or was it the Romans?”

Eddie had done a few courses on old military strategy during his time in the military on a thesis about how traditional warfare eventually divulged into guerilla warfare. But that was a very long time ago.

“Eh, I don’t really care.”

He drew a base sketch of the designs and then started adding to it; hence the spin he wanted on it. The two shields could connect at an easy hook point on both of them, giving a large area that could block attacks. He designed it to make the shields even stronger when there’s force applied. If the shield is pushed away from Grabby, then they would detach. After finally settling on a design, he made the casts for the iron and then moved onto the swords.

Eddie didn’t really want swords. They were cool- definitely added some style points, but given if the shields were up, Grabby wouldn’t be able to swing. They could stab over, but if there were multiple enemies then he would get overwhelmed. The golem wasn’t nearly as agile as Frank or Robo, so it couldn’t take a back foot and gain space. As Eddie brainstormed, trying his best to ignore the pulsing throb embedded in his skull, a lightbulb appeared above his head. He stood up quickly from the amazing breakthrough, smashing his head against it. “Ah, fudge,” Eddie cursed. “Damn, stupid- ah!”

He angrily sat back down again and grabbed a pen from the side and started to loosely sketch. He knew he needed to be more creative, swords and shields were of course a part of medieval fantasy, but he could figuratively build anything. And so, that’s where he drew up two long maces. Now, maces aren’t creative, but Eddie thought that Grabby could connect them together to form a sort of mow. A giant spinning iron rod with spikes; he could then deal with the problem of swarming monsters and single targets if they were split apart. Theoretically, Grabby could just mow them down like a lawnmower to grass.

“Damn, Eddie,” he said to himself. “You’re really outdoing yourself this time.”

The iron started to bubble in the crucible and Eddie hurried over to pour it into the shield casts. The rest of the iron was still hot and he quickly made the casts for the long iron maces. He patiently waited for them to cool as he hummed to a song. Once cooled, he popped them out and placed the shields on his workbench. Even though they could be used straight out of the oven, he wanted to do the same to them like he did with Frank’s weapon.

He started adding to it; trash panda leather skin for the handles and edges, even painting them a cool crimson red which also held the trash panda blood on which gave it an effect. He polished the edges, added grips and wooden groves into it to soften blows.

After a few more litres of sweat, Eddie had crafted two huge tower shields. He quite liked making weapons and armour and he was seriously considering going for the professions.

You have crafted x2 Crimson Iron Tower Shield!

+220 EXP

{Crimson Iron Tower Shield}

Grade: Uncommon

Durability: 109/109

Defense Rating: 68/68

Effects: Trash Defender I (-2% damage when fighting trash type mobs.)

Description: One of a pair that can lock together to form a small shield wall. Used with basic monster materials for comfort and additional support.

“Oooo, it's uncommon,” Eddie commented. He took a good look at them before placing them to the side. The experience was really good too.

You have levelled up Weaponsmithing! I→II

Work 6(+1)% faster on weapons.

“Cool, cool, cool. Now for the best one.”

Eddie had casted two iron pipes that had a small hole running through them, along with small slits on the outer edge where he could attach small places. At the end of both the weapons there was a connected divot that could be controlled by Grabby via a copper wire. All he had to do was will them to move while slamming them together and they would connect. At the base of the two iron pipes there was a small metal contraption that would rotate them at Grabby’s will, also via a copper wire.

The part that Eddie struggled with was connecting them to Grabby’s hands. He wanted them to be completely detachable yet feel like an extended forearm. As he remembered what the golem’s fingers looked like, he frayed copper wire and drilled it inside the handle. He then added a locking mechanism to stop them from coming off at force. As Eddie explained to Rose, it sounded great in theory but he would need Grabby to try them on first.

After sorting out the hardest part, he coated the iron blades which looked more like curved shark fins in trash panda blood. There were over 50 of them in total, and he took time installing each one into the slits in the iron rods. By the time Eddie had finished, they looked nothing like maces. Still, they looked badass. He hooked them up to a small mana crystal and they rotated fairly slowly. Even at a slow pace, nothing should really stand a chance against them. Even if something big bit them, it would tear their mouth up. Eddie snickered to himself, he had just made a lethal killing device. No longer did he care about those on the receiving end.

After smoothing out the rest of the problems, purple fireworks exploded around him. The two weapons glowed softly and hummed power.

Great Job! You have crafted x2 UNIQUE NAMED weapons.

+550 EXP

Your weapons have received added bonuses.

{“Hansel” Long Iron Mace}

Grade: Journeyman

Durability: 142/142(+71)

Damage: 41

Effects: Duradouble I (Durability is doubled), Flesher II (+20% to flesh), Trash Killer I (+2% damage to all trash type mobs)

Description: Hansel is a long iron mace which is a part of a set.

Set: 1/2

{“Gretel” Long Iron Mace}

Grade: Journeyman

Durability: 142/142(+71)

Damage: 41

Effects: Duradouble I (Durability is doubled), Flesher II (+20% damage to flesh), Trash Killer I (+2% damage to all trash type mobs)

Description: Gretel is a long iron mace which is a part of a set.

Set: 1/2

Set Complete:

When Hansel and Gretel become merged, the weapons combine to create… The Meat Mower.

{Meat Mower}

Grade: Rare

Durability: 284/284

Damage: 82

Effects: Duradouble II (Durability is quadrupled), Flesher IV (+40% to flesh), Trash Killer II (+4% damage to all trash type mobs)

Description: You’re probably thinking, ‘didn’t Hansel and Gretel go to a giant gingerbread house?’. Well, yeah, they did. But this is if Hansel and Gretel were both serial killers, they are adults and are now luring kids into the gingerbread house. As soon as anyone stepped into that gingerbread house, the Meat Mower was waiting for them. This powerful weapon will literally mow down all that stands in its path, even if it’s not made of meat.

Eddie’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell onto the trash compacted floor of his workshop. He couldn’t believe it- rare, thee rare. Rare, rare, rare…

“I just made a rare!!!” Eddie screamed in excitement. The names were a little bit messed up but at the same time Eddie didn’t care. Eddie was speechless, he couldn’t believe it. The effects, base stats- everything about the weapons were amazing.

You have levelled up Weaponsmithing! II→III

Work 7(+1)% faster on weapons.

You have levelled up Weaponsmithing! III→IV

Work 8(+1)% faster on weapons.

You have levelled up Weaponsmithing! IV→V

Work 10(+2)% faster on weapons.

The weapons now have a 10% chance to receive a Rank I effect.

“What?!” Eddie shouted. “It’s rank five!!!”

You have created a very rare and unique weapon.

My job is to reward you for your creativity.

“Fudge yeah!”

Eddie scrambled up to the floor and carefully looked over the two weapons. They were softly glowing a discrete purple. He quickly placed them and the shields in his inventory and ran out of the workshop door. He wanted to show them off and see how Grabby could use them.

He burst into the bar where there were a few people still hanging about. He hurried over to Mira and her team and dumped the weapons onto the table. Eddie was so excited he forgot to speak and just blurted out: “Weapons!”

Mira shrunk her head back in the absurdity of Eddie’s claim. “Yeah, Eddie, they’re- Oh my god, they’re glowing purple.”

Eddie’s mouth twitched and he again could only blurt out a singular word. “Look!”

Mira’s mouth dropped as she read the notification. “Holy ship, Eddie. Named and unique!”

“Let me see,” Viktor said, coming over.

Mira shared the message to her entire team and Grabby.

“Jesus, Eddie,” Denzel said. “How the hell did you make these?!”

Eddie didn’t respond, he just kept twitching like a kid on a sugar high.

“TICKLE MY TAIL AND TAKE ME TO TINSEL TOWN!”

“Right’on, mate,” Grabby said. “These for me?”

Eddie nodded very fast and gasped for air. “Oh, I couldn’t breathe for a minute. Aren’t they awesome!”

“Awesome? Mira questioned. “These are named and unique. That means they’re the first type of weapons ever made in the game. Not only that, but the effects are ridiculous, even my staff can’t compare to these things.”

Eddie just kept bouncing up and down.

“I am impressed yet entirely scared for my life,” Viktor declared. “What have you just made?”

“Mate,” Grabby said. “Could you help me put them on?”

Eddie grabbed one of them and slipped it on Grabby’s arm. Instantly, he started rotating it. “How does it feel, is it loose at all?”

“No, no, it’s like it’s just my arm.”

“Try the other one on,” Eddie hastily instructed. He put the other one on and then clicked them both into place. They both pulsed and the iron blades started glowing a dark red.

He started rotating them and they were absolutely terrifying. “Oh,” Eddie said. “Try the shields too.”

“I got no room in here, mate, let’s go outside.”

The team, now accompanied by a few interested guild members and players, headed outside and watched as Grabby took the shields from Eddie and formed the interlocking shield wall.

“Jesus christ, Eddie. That’s absurd. Is that even allowed?”

Eddie just casually shrugged. He noticed people were recording but didn’t seem to care all that much. He was extremely proud of what he had made and would like to share it with the world.

“Hey, Grabby,” Denzel said. “Put those weapons away, let me charge you.”

“Aw, ye, right on, let’s try it.”

Eddie was about to protest but wanted to see if Grabby could withstand an attack from the giant Denzel. The level and power disparity would seem hopeless but even then, Denzel wasn’t sure if he could move the golem. The giant man walked a good dozen metres away as Grabbt extended out the drills and dug into the trash compacted ground.

Eddie had brought up the current operating power of the golem and wanted to see how much more power everything would take. He was hoping that it wouldn’t absorb too much mana but he needed to use all of it.

“Ok, Denzel, I’m ready,” Grabbed said.

Denzel applied a buff to himself, increasing the size of his muscles, and started running at full charge towards Grabby. He aimed the shields to focus Denzel’s centre mass and used his spare arms to brace the impact. With all the powerful resistance force coming from Grabby, Denzel was sent flying backwards upon impact. All the audience gasped, it appeared that not many things could stop Denzel running.

Grabby pulled the drills back into his calds and helped Denzel up with his spare arms. “You alright, mate?”

“Yeah, man, that was sick. I can’t believe you can take me like that. Eddie, you did an amazing job.”

“Thanks,” Eddie said without looking at him, he was studying the operating power of Grabby. Even at the point where Denzel connected with Grabby’s shields, it only dipped to around 50% operating power. “Hey, Grabby, could you use the drills and the weapon at the same time?”

“Yeah, sure, mate.” Grabby did as he was instructed. Eddie watched as the operating power was just held above 35%, meaning he still had a decent amount of mana to use.

“Ok, Grabby, can you eject your grabby things?”

“Alright.”

The two crane-like arms were shot out into a nearby pole sticking from the ground. Even as it reeled back while removing the metal pole, with everything else going, it went down to 25% operating power. “Damn, that’s awesome. Uncommon cores really have a tonne of mana.”

The audience had almost grown to 100 people by the time Eddie had finished doing all his tests. They were also all recording and chatting to each other in amusement.

“Eddie, you’re kinda drawing a crowd,” Mira whispered.

“Alright, guys! Shows over! Grabby, come back into the bar.”

The audience all complained but Eddie just waved them away. His golems were cool, but they weren’t a sideshow attraction. He considered them real people and gave them the same amount of respect.

Eddie yawned as he sat at the bar with the team.

“Oh, Eddie,” Mira said. “I got offered a contract with a live streaming service.”

“That’s cool. What does that mean?”

“I stream for a few hours each day now. I’m probably going to be streaming the entire walk and our fights in Druids Recluse. I won’t be able to blur your face in real time but I’ll try to keep you in mind.”

Eddie’s mind was evaluating the risk. He heavily doubted his dad would notice his face in a 12 hour livestream. “Yeah, sure. Are you big on social media now?”

Mira smirked. “Four hundred thousand followers on Instagram and 17,000 on Twitch. My Youtube has 160,000 subscribers right now. That video of us in the dungeon first got seven million views.”

Eddie coughed his lungs up.

“You did not earn those followers on instagram by your gaming alone,” Viktor declared. “Most of your pictures are just ass pics.”

“And? Still followers right… Are you stalking my Instagram?”

“... No.”

“That’s cool, Mira. Try your best not to get me.”

“Deal. I think most of the viewers want to see your golems actually. Someone in our guild posted a picture of Frank and it got half a million likes.”

“Franks famous?” Eddie questioned.

Mira nodded. “He’s got a fanpage now.”

Eddie grumbled. The golems he made were now celebrities. “So people really like my golems?”

“Duh. They’re freaking golems. Someone’s going to upload a video of Grabby with Denzel soon and that’ll probably blow up. Everyone’s really interested in coming down, they just don’t want to get stuck like all of us.”

“That update couldn’t come any sooner then,” Eddie sighed. “At least it will give me more time to sort everything out.”

“Exactly,” Mira said. “But, in terms of content, this place is filled with it. Not only is the experience and loot good, but it's a massive open dungeon right below the main city. Most open dungeons are a good day or two away from the Arindought.”

“I never really thought about it.”

“Man,” Denzel said. “Why do you think we came down here so fast? We could probably stay down here all the way up until 60 and get top of the leaderboards. It’s a gold mine.”

“So I’ll need some more rooms then?” Eddie joked.

Their conversation was halted when their attention was directed to Akira who was strutting into the bar with Brody behind her. Eddie quickly turned his attention elsewhere. The rest of the guild was following her and they were all ready for the task at hand.