C7 Trashlands

The odd duo continued to head in parallel from his home into the loose trash. Eddie had been artistically drawing it out the entire time. He was glad Frank could join him, he had been rather lonesome since his ex-girlfriend left. Frank never argued, wasn’t petty, didn’t spend half of his account buying uncomfortable furniture, did-

“I need to stop,” Eddie admitted, slashing the thought process.

Frank had given up trying to get his master to stop talking to himself.

Eddie suddenly noticed a small incline in the loose trash they were standing on. He took his eyes off the map to see an enormous drop; it was so musky and dark; he couldn’t see the bottom of it. The loose trash had formed a high up area, a literal trash pile.

“Sir!” Frank exclaimed, pointing above Eddie. “An exit!”

Eddie saw a caverness wall with a small rectangular hole with steps going up. He gasped in amazement and shock. “Frank! I love-”

There was no way he could get to it- unless he had a handy 30ft bridge he could walk across. There was clearly once a handrail to get there but it had been lost to time. The drop seemed so steep it was impossible to get back up. Eddie scratched his head.

“Fiddlesticks! Why, it’s right there.”

“There may be other exits, Sir.”

“You’re right, Frank, I just feel like I’m missing out down here.”

“It is not whether you’re missing out. Do what you find amusing, Sir.”

“Are you sure you’re not my psychologist?” Eddie questioned rhetorically, squatting down to rest his tired calves.

“I would have a skill declaring that I was, Sir,” Frank kindly replied.

Eddie huffed out a long sigh. “We’ll keep looking, the map’s coming along nicely,” Eddie mused, bringing it out. They had been walking for roughly an hour. Although he had found the edge of the trash pit, it still felt endless- holding many mysteries to explore.

“May I have a look, Sir?”

“Go ahead.”

(https://imgur.com/gallery/Tkvg4sj)

Frank took the map. “Y-you are quite the artist.”

“Why’d you stutter?” Eddie asked.

“Must be a malfunction in my vibration crystal, Sir.”

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows in falsehood. “Righhht.”

The two set off again, following the edge of the trash pit downwards. It was rather boring, but Eddie did manage to find lots of useful things. He still couldn’t believe all the free stuff that still worked. It was like going to a garage sale and taking everything while being dead- he loved it. As a mechanical engineer, he could always find usage for almost anything,

A bad habit that Eddie had quickly picked up was eating everything in sight; it all tasted so good. Though, there were some things that with a quick glance, Eddie steered well away from.

“OOOOOO,” Eddie remarked joyfully upon the sight of a box of rotten bananas.

He picked one up and slurped it down like a piece of cheese string. The goey blackness of the rotten banana tasted like a milkshake, and the soft peel was like his gran’s banana cake. Frank didn’t seem to mind his weird master; plus, he couldn’t taste anything anyway. Eddie carefully placed the rest of them inside his inventory incase of a lonely night.

They spent half a dozen hours mapping out the dungeon. Finally though, they had plotted out the entirety of the ‘not-a-dungeon’ area. They also had found three more exits, but just like the last one, were inaccessible. Surprisingly enough, the one closest to him was the easiest access- but it wasn’t easy to access of course. Eddie had declared that this was called the Trashlands.

(https://imgur.com/gallery/qfiFaek)

Nice Job! You have discovered an Area and named it Trashlands!

+30 EXP

Congrats! You have learned T1 Passive Skill Cartography!

T1 PASSIVE SKILL Cartography.

You are able to copy your own map to others.

“Woohoo!” Eddie exclaimed; another skill to add to his growing collection.

“Sir, should we map out the rest?” Frank asked.

“Urm…” Eddie pondered, unsure. The dungeon’s level was 5-50. Eddie couldn’t take a single monster. Also, Frank couldn’t respawn-

“Frank, can you respawn?”

“No, Sir.”

Eddie pouted, it was risky- very risky. Frank could probably deal with a level 10 by himself, anymore and he would be screwed. “Ugh,” Eddie huffed. “Wait, Frank, can I put you in my inventory?”

“I don’t know, Sir.”

Eddie awkwardly extended out his hand and rested it on Frank’s shoulder.

You cannot add Trash Golem, Level 8 into your inventory.

“Hmm, how about your core?”

“We can test it, Sir.”

Eddie was hesitant, he didn’t want to screw something up. He was waiting for the system to drop some helpful information while simultaneously insulting him; but alas, nothing happened. He scratched his head again, taking a few points of health as he did it so violently.

He took a deep breath. “We’ll try it.”

“Sir, if anything goes wrong… It has been an honour to serve you.”

Eddie’s mouth wobbled as tears started pouring down his face- it all just came out, all at once, over something so stupid. “W-w-why did you have to say it like that?” he questioned in between sobs. It had been so nice for the past hours spending his time with Frank. Sure, he had anger issues and a god complex for Eddie, but no one was perfect.

“Sir, perhaps that psychologist I suggested would be good,” Frank said, his tone void of emotion.

“Shut up,” Eddie jokingly sobbed.

Frank knelt down in front of Eddie and remained motionless. “It is ok, Sir.”

Eddie wiped his snot stained face with his starter gear sleeve. He brought out the key to access Frank’s core.

Stop sobbing, pussy. The core holds the personality.

Eddie started crying more and more. “Why am I crying?” he sobbed for the third time. Eventually, he swallowed the built up lump in his throat and dried his wet face.

“Sir, are you ok?”

“Yeah, fine, Frank, just some- real life problems.”

“Not to worry, Sir, whenever you are ready.”

Eddie cooled down, that was the first time he had cried since- well, most would understand why. He felt some solace, knowing that the core held frank inside. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Eddie placed the key inside and three separate locks released their hold. The glowing core was revealed and Eddie took a deep breath. He removed the copper wiring covering the golem core and watched as the light faded from Frank’s eyes. He held in the tears, realizing this was only a game. In truth, he needed to stop being dramatic- though, the system had already told him.

Placing the core in his inventory, he held onto Frank’s body as he tried to do the same. And sure enough, they both went into his inventory. “Phew,” Eddie said.

He took them both out and replaced the golem core inside Frank. Soon his red eyes flickered back on and looked up to Eddie. The trashmancer wrapped his dirty arms around Frank and squeezed. “It’s good to have you back.”

“Did I miss much, Sir?”

“Nope,” Eddie replied truthfully.

Frank stood back up again, Eddie still held on and his feet hung a few inches from the floor. “Urm- Sir?”

Eddie let go and plopped back down again. “Yep, sorry.”

“The game plan, Sir?”

“We’ll map out of the dungeon- stealthily. If anything goes wrong, I’ll take your core and-” Eddie ran a finger across his own neck.

“Draw something on your throat?”

Eddie tilted his head to the side, closed his eyes and stuck his tongue out.

“Ahegao?”

“What’s that?” Eddie questioned.

“Oh, Sir. You mean yourever sleep?”

“Myever sleep? Wait, ohhhh, yeah, you got it, Frank,” Eddie said, slapping his metal frame, while also wondering what ahegao was. “Let's head back home first then we’ll set off. Did you want some more armour?”

“If you would be so kind, Sir. I think medium armour for the classification would be good. I still have fairly agile movement.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

They headed back towards the house at a quickened pace. Eddie picked up everything that would be useful to him, he also instructed Frank to carry whatever he could in his long metal hands. He was glad Frank was still with him, even though he was an AI, the company and helping hand was welcomed.

Eddie bashed the door open and fell inside with a handful of random things. Frank helped him back up.

“Right,” Eddie said, hands on hips. “Let’s get to it. Frank, can you sort out all of this?”

“Yes, Sir… What should I do with this?” Frank asked politely as he held up a toilet seat.

Eddie shrugged and motioned over his shoulder. “Chuck it in that room over there.”

The trashmancer squatted, stretched, and cracked his knuckles. He was ready for another intense crafting session. He started by grabbing large sheets of trash metal and organising them all out into different sizes.

Armour seemed basic on the front of his mind. Though, as he started to wonder how he could add it to Frank, puzzling thoughts enveloped his brain. “Tch, tch, tchh.” Eddie pondered on what areas needed protection. “Well, everything,” he said to himself.

“What was that, Sir?” Frank asked.

“What sort of armour do you want? Like- where?”

“Perhaps a sturdier layer across my chest, and thin strips on my limbs. My head is not much of an issue, do you have spare sensor crystals, Sir?” Frank replied while organizing all the trash.

Eddie pouted. “No, no I don’t.”

“Why don’t you check the trade terminal to see how abundant they are?”

“Trade terminal?” Eddie questioned, looking around his humble abode. Without further comment from Frank, he sifted through the dense system before him. Eddie was a boomer with technology, same with systems and computers. He just needed to research as he was a fast learner.

“Oh!” Eddie exclaimed. “I found it, thanks Frank.”

“You’re welcome, Sir.”

Eddie clicked his teeth as his fingers moved wildly in the air in front of him

Arindought Trade Terminal

Search:

Materials

Listings: 93,545,122

Weapons

Listings: 32,211,091

Armour

Listings: 29,001,230

...

...

“My god,” Eddie said, dumbfounded. The numbers were astronomical. It was the most popular game right now but the numbers were the population size of an entire country- and that was for only one city- though it was the most popular city. “System. How many players are online right now?”

Players Online: 327,872,103

Active Monthly Players: 1,213,723,941

Eddie’s mouth dropped to the floor. He didn’t realize the game was THAT big. He swallowed slowly to recompose himself. “What was I doing, oh yeah. System, search for sensor crystal.”

Arindought Trade Terminal

Search: Sensor Crystal

Price

Available

Seller

1.7 Silver

12

PonyBoner91

1.71 Silver

102

R1CHARDD1CKY

1.73 Silver

97

CockRockIHaveAGlock

...

...

...

The prices weren’t bad; he quickly counted all of his copper. “Sixty three,” Eddie murmured to himself. He hadn’t done much fighting, nor had he sold anything though. Then again, he was still level two.

Would you like to purchase in-game currency? Yes/No?

Eddie took a deep breath in. “Yes,” he whispered.

“Sorry, did you say no?”

“That doesn’t even make any sense?!” Eddie exclaimed, giving the air in front of him a wary look. “Why would you not want to sell me stuff..! I’m sorry, control yourself Eddie. I would like to see the transaction rates.”

In-game Currency

Buy rate: 1 Copper~$0.112

Sell Rate: 1 Copper~$0.097

100 Copper=1 Silver.

100 Silver=1 Gold

100 Gold=1 Platinum

He had made a whopping $6.30. Eddie never considered himself a gaming entrepreneur but now he did. He didn’t actually want to spend any money, he felt that he could easily make that himself given enough time.

“System, how do I access the Trade Terminal?”

“You must access it within Arindought’s or any other major city centre.”

“Oh, fiddlesticks,” Eddie cursed, slamming his fist down on the desk. What else was he expecting? Being stuck in a trash dump meant very limited things. If he ever needed parts for Frank then he was definitely going to find and exit- or find them himself.

“What was I doing again?” Eddie asked himself.

“The armour, Sir,” Frank answered for him.

“Right-” he cleared his throat. “Is it time for a montage?”

“I believe so, Sir, the timing is appropriate.”

Eddie jumped from his stool and grabbed a broken off banister. “System, play my montage mix.”

“Sorry, di-”

“I SAID! EDDIE’S EPIC MONTAGE MIX!”

“Playing: Eddie’s Epic Montage MIX #1.”

His music blasted into his mind, electrifying his brain and stimulating his bony ass. He was about to dance this armour to death. His hips shook and his fingers moved elegantly. Eddie always thought a good career choice for him was dancing- or so he thought as he had yet to dance in front of someone.

Eddie leapt beautifully over a pile of nails and skidded into a knee slide while singing into a banister. “🎧LIvin' iN a LonEly WorLd! SHe tOok the miDniGht train goin' aNywhERe🎧!”

Thankfully, Frank didn’t seem to mind.

Eddie slammed his foot on his workbench and thrusted his hips like an 80s pornstar into it. He spun and slut-dropped into his chair. Nothing screamed he was more comfortable with his sexuality than what he just did- he was a marvel of his timer, a true pioneer.

He grabbed a buzz saw and joyfully went about cutting the metal into appropriate shapes. He already had the dimensions for Frank and it only took him half an hour to get the right sizes. After all that, he took a few steps back and had Frank face him- he was like a high end fashion designer now. “Gimme a twirl,” Eddie commanded, very femininly.

Frank awkwardly followed his orders. “Sir, I feel this is unnecessary.”

“Genius needs a bit of crazy, right?”

“... Yes, Sir,” Frank grudgingly replied.

“Ok, ok, I think I have a good enough picture,” Eddie mumbled to himself as he sat back down at his workbench. “Frank, can you get me 30 nails, 27 nuts and bolts, 60 thin strips of trash metal- oh, and some food.”

“Of course, Sir. They will be with you shortly.”

Eddie had to admit, it was nice having Frank around. He could be quite bossy when he was working on things, so for Frank to do things without question was food for his brain- it soothed it, he had nothing to really worry about; complete focus.

After a few hours of hard manual labour, Eddie had finished Frank’s set of armour.

You have levelled up T1 Metalworking I->II

Work 6(+1)% faster when working with metal.

You have learned T1 Passive Skill Armorsmithing!

Still no smelting… But you made some decent armour, not bad!

T1 PASSIVE SKILL Armorsmithing

Work 5% faster when working with armour

You are allowed to craft up to Common Armour.

Eddie swirled his hips in a circle as he nodded his head violently to the beat. He was crushing this game, it was easy- not the monster slaying part though.

You have crafted a Trash Armour Set!

+35 EXP

You have crafted a named Piece of Armor!

+5 EXP

{Smart Trash Metal Chestpiece}

Grade: Common

Durability: 29/29

Defense Rating: 22

Effects: Trash Defender I (-2% damage when fighting trash type mobs.)

Description: A chest piece made of trash metal with the neck holes fashioned into a suit and tie.

{Trash Metal Grieves}

Grade: Crude

Durability: 13/13

Defense Rating: 11

Effects: Trash Defender I (-2% damage when fighting trash type mobs.)

Description: A pair of rusty metal arm-socks.

{Snazzy Trash Metal Trousers}

Grade: Crude

Durability: 15/15

Defense Rating: 17

Effects: Trash Defender I (-2% damage when fighting trash type mobs.)

Description: Some people wear this sort of stuff in real life- no, I’m not joking.

{Helm Of The Trash Butler}

Grade: Common

Durability: 12/12

Defense Rating: 19

Effects: Trash Defender I (-2% damage when fighting trash type mobs.)

Description: Only the Trash Butler may wear this.d

Trash Armour Set Stats

Total Defense Rating: 69 (... Nice.)

Effects Total: -8% damage when fighting trash type mobs.

“Oh, Eddie, you’re one of a kind. Frank, try these on,” Eddie complimented himself, handing over the armour set to his butler golem. He checked Frank’s status as he put it on.

Golem Menu

(Frank) Trash Golem, Level 8

Stats:

Strength: 16(+2)

Dexterity: 10(-1)

Armour: Medium

Overall Condition of Golem: 94%

Current Operating Power: 91(-7%)%

Core Durability: 11/36

Mana 104/104 (3.2M/s)

Skills:

T1 Spear Mastery Rank I

Frank’s strength increased but sacrificed some of his dexterity. It seemed like a good trade. His current operating power had decreased a fair bit but his movement seemed fine.

Two of the pieces were common which was a huge step forward for Eddie. He was also wondering what defense rating meant. He just assumed how durable it was to attacks.

“Does it look ok, Sir?” Frank questioned.

“You bet my left ass cheek it does,” Eddie proclaimed.

Eddie had accidentally purposefully crafted it to look like a butler’s suit. It was painted mostly black, and he had crafted a small tie around the neck piece. The helm was the most amazing since it had an official name and not just ‘trash metal’. He had also coated every piece in the blood of the trash pandas. It was kind of gross but the blood smelt like a strawberry milkshake so it wasn’t that bad. And no, Eddie did not drink it, that sort of stuff was where he drew the line.

Frank started laughing manovelntly. He picked up his spear and said: “Foes will be slain before your feet, Sir. I shall crush them, make them bl-”

“Ok, ok,” Eddie spat out, “Deep breaths, deep breaths.”

Frank took in a long deep breath even though he didn’t need to and calmed himself down. “Sorry, Sir. This armour set is magnificent. You have gone above and beyond for your humble butler.”

“Ah, c’mon,” Eddie said with rosy cheeks while rubbing the ball of his right foot into the ground.

“We have some exploring to do, Sir,” Frank offered.

Eddie grinned from ear to ear. “You’re right!”