The button has been pushed!

TICK

Holy cow what is that noise?

TOCK

Ah, I see

TICK

You seem to be in a room full of clocks.

TOCK

TICK

Interesting.

TOCK

Clocks line the walls.

TICK

All ticking and tocking in unison.

TOCK

Actually, come to think of it…

TICK

We’ve (well, you’ve)...

TOCK

...been hearing the ticking off and on for a while now.

TICK

Right?

TOCK

The sound is certainly loud enough to…

TICK

…travel through the walls.

TOCK

And these are hekkin’ thick walls, let me tell ya.

TOCK

This is actually kind of annoying.

TICK

What will you do?

TOCK

The clocks all have different times.

TICK

It looks like whoever put the batteries in…

TOCK

…didn’t bother to set the things.

TICK

Not one of the clocks here agrees with another…

TOCK

…on the subject of what time it is.

TICK

You decide to set the clocks.

TOCK

Make them all have the same time.

TICK

What time is it now?

TOCK

Oh, well, wouldn’t you like to know.

TICK

Nope, not gonna tell you.

TOCK

Even without knowing the time…

TICK

…you decide to set the clocks.

TOCK

To noon, because why not.

TICK

It takes you quite some time to do.

TOCK

(Heehee time pun.)

TICK

By the time you set the last clock, the first…

TOCK

…clock you set says 12:09.

TICK

So there’s a discrepancy of nine minutes in the clocks.

TOCK

But, it’s better than the sheer randomness that…

TICK

…existed when you got here.

TOCK

Right?

TICK

Not better.

TOCK

You get to work again.

TICK

You carefully, quickly reset the clocks.

TOCK

There.

TICK

Now they all say 12:16.

TOCK

Ish, since they’re analog.

TICK

Do you feel better about the world now?

Good.

TOCK

Well, the clocks are all set.

TICK

Congrats.

TOCK

What now?

You sit down on the ground, facing a wall of clocks.

TICK

Of course, since clocks cover all the walls…

TOCK

…you’re facing a wall of clocks by default.

TICK

But anyways.

TOCK

You get into that famous yoga stance.

TICK

Lotus?

TOCK

I think it’s called lotus position.

TICK

Then you close your eyes and meditate.

TOCK

I’ve never meditated, so I don’t know what…

TICK

…exactly it is you’re doing.

TOCK

It looks pretty boring, not gonna lie.

TICK

Aaaand you sit there.

TOCK

For what feels to me like ages.

TICK

…

TOCK

….

TICK

……

TOCK

………

TICK

Yep, this is super boring for me.

TOCK

You seem to be having fun, though.

TICK

I think.

TOCK

Are…

TICK

Are you dead?

TOCK

Hello?

TICK

If you’re dead, don’t blink.

TOCK

Oh Lord you’re dead.

TICK

Uhhhh

TOCK

We really need to get a heart monitor on…

TICK

…the test subjects.

TOCK

Not that it would help here.

TICK

With all the damn ticking.

TOCK

And the tocking.

TICK

Actually…

TOCK

I wonder what would happen if you put a…

TICK

…heart monitor on a clock.

TOCK

Or on one of those bass-heavy speakers.

TICK

Would probably drive the monitor insane.

TOCK

That or give it a panic attack.

TICK

There has to be a YouTube video around…

TOCK

…where someone did that.

TICK

You just sit there and I’ll go see.

TOCK

Well that was fascinating.

TICK

I found out all about heart monitors!

TOCK

And then I was lead down the YouTube…

TICK

…rabbit hole of fascinating documentaries.

TOCK

I learned a lot about octopi.

TICK

You’re glaring at the ceiling.

TOCK

No, I don’t ever shut up, why?

TICK

Actually, I was hired because I can…

TOCK

…ramble on for hours and hours without…

TICK

…any external input whatsoever.

TOCK

Oh, it stops you from meditating?

TICK

Sorry.

TOCK

I’ve never meditated.

TICK

On anything.

TOCK

Ever.

TICK

Yoga’s super not for me.

TOCK

You get to your feet, grumbling.

TICK

Done meditating?

TOCK

You are since I'm annoying?

TICK

Great!

TOCK

Want to do anything else?

You can’t take the ticking any more.

TICK

Or the tocking.

TOCK

You feel like the sound is replacing your heartbeat.

TICK

And if the clocks stop, so will you.

TOCK

It’s oddly terrifying.

TICK

So you get to work.

TOCK

You pull clock after clock off the wall.

TICK

Then you take the batteries out, and put them back.

TOCK

It takes a while.

TICK

There are a lot of clocks.

TOCK

Slowly, very slowly...

TICK

...the noise gets quieter.

TOCK

And quieter.

TICK

Until it’s bearable.

TOCK

You get down to the last few clocks…

TICK

…taking the batteries out.

TOCK

Until there is no sound left.

Wow, that’s better. I can hear myself think again! Woo! Not that I ever really think, most of my thoughts come unbidden from my internal wikipedia.

You can probably hear yourself think, too. And you didn’t die from either the ticking or lack of ticking. All the good things.

So now what?

You, with your destructive tendencies, pull a clock off the wall and, with the enthusiasm of an American football player spiking a ball, throw it on the ground.

It shatters into a million pieces, springs and gears going everywhere.

Which is surprising, because clocks nowadays only have like a one inch by three inch box turning the hands.

Anyways.

You had so much fun smashing the clock that you decide to do it again.

For the next ten minutes or so you pull random clocks off the wall and hurl them to the concrete floor. You really get a workout. And all your pent-up anger and frustration leaves, too.

This room is quite cathartic for you.

Finally you’ve worked out all your issues, and settle down. The remains of clocks are scattered across the ground. It kinda looks like a bear got in there.

Epic.

Having done all you wanted and needed to, you turn back to the center of the room.

DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No